The world was too bright. That was the first thing she noticed as she stepped out of the citadel and into the sunlit courtyard beyond. It was as if the sun had swelled in size, or had wandered too close to Novus; all she saw when she looked up at the sky was one great and hulking eye staring back down at her. She blinked numbly up at it, confusion rendering her immobile, hardly noticing the adults that pushed past her on their own way out.
Was the sun always this big? It had never looked this big in Delumine. She had heard it said once that Solterra was closer to the sun because Solis could never bear to be apart from it for long - she had never believed it. Not until now. Not until she saw it. It wasn’t the golden sea that everyone liked to say it was. It was a bowl of sunlight, filled to the brim and overflowing with it.
The desert was shining all around her, everything gold and bright and new and all of it calling out to her, demanding her attention, ordering her to look this way but also this way and that way too. And she wants to listen, she does - but all she can look at is a spot in the sky that’s close to the sun, and although it hurts her eyes it’s still not close enough.
Her chest rises and falls like something wild, each breath more shallow than the last. She can feel her heart beating against her ribcage, like a knock on the door that’s tap, tap, tapping and it doesn’t stop, not until it gets what it wants.
Only the caged thing inside of her is begging to be let out, not in. And all she can think as she stands in the center of Solterra’s palace courtyard is that she’s never wanted to run more than she does today.
She looks up at the sky, baring her throat to the desert.
And for the first time she feels like she might be something strong, even when her chest is beating so hard she thinks it might break through her ribs. And even if she were to die here - even if her heart escaped and left her lying there in the sand, a red spot against all that gold of the desert - as long as the sun was here to warm her bones, it would be okay. Because there was a part of her that thought she might already be dead, and her body just didn't know it yet.
She's still standing in the middle of the courtyard, staring up at the sun while people stream past her the way the river parts around a water-slick stone. And if anyone stops to stare at her, she might not notice, or care, or bear to look at anything but the light.
@any
