Look Forward... Trust Yourself... Find Peace
The caress of Bella's muzzle was like a jolt that wrapped around her heart. She found herself reaching out to match her touches. "It might have been different... but we cant live in the what-ifs... We need to step forward with how our lives are now and learn how to be close to each other as we are. We cant say that our relationship would be the same no matter what, but we definitely need to get close and stay honest together. I love you Bella... I always have even when trying to understand the decisions of the pod. You have always had a special place in my heart." She murmured, her words soft and gentle as she tried to soothe her elder sister. She could see that Bella was struggling with something, though she vowed to never pry into it all.
The tight hug nearly swept her off of her hooves, the feelings reminiscent of the tides in the ocean. "I agree, Bella. I dont know how to say how hard it was to see you again the first time. To catch your scent at the candles. To see a familiar face that I never expected to see again. But I am so thankful that I did. I dont think that the pod would have been willing to learn a new way. What I remember was that they were set in their ways and unwilling to change." She said, pressing against her sister's cool flesh and breathing in the scent that had always made her feel so much better. There was a part of her that recognized that Bella's scent was that of home, of family. As much as she resented her pod and the members within it, she couldnt give up her love for her sister.
Pol nodded as she listened to her sister's explanation of her feelings for Sol. "I am certain that being your friend is going to help him to get through whatever trauma might be in his past. While I am not sure what he feels in terms of relationship with you or if he is ok with friendship... I think having you is going to be nothing but positive. I know I am relieved to have you back in my life." She said softly, her words wiser than she felt.
The idea of a non-terrifying shark nearly made her burst into laughter. "You should have seen me when I helped Trey... Between the shark bites and the fact that his species is more shark in genetics... It was a struggle to not run away in fear. He helped me through the levels of fear that had me frozen... though I still have the issue with panic and nearly losing my mind when afraid." She laughed at herself as she shook her head. "We can definitely take a dive at some point. I dont swim often, preferring to let myself dive into learning to heal rather than the waters that can be dangerous." She said, realizing that her drive to learn to heal was a way to escape the fear that water held for her.
Pol laughed softly, her amusement cynical and directed at herself. "I cant say that I am holding my breath to ever feel that... I dont think I will ever find love like that. I thought I loved Trey at one point... but I dont think it was real love... just the infatuation of a filly being happy with a stallion for the first time. Someday... I would love to feel love like our species holds to. To connect with someone on such a deep level." She said softly, admitting her feelings for the strikingly bright stallion that she had healed. Pol wasnt sure that Bel knew about Trey, and she was willing to explain further if asked. She found that her heart was less hard, more open... And a big part of that was thanks to the mare beside her.
The emotions in her sister's face at the mention of Shard nearly broke her. Nearly made her apologize for even bringing it up. The words that escaped her sister's reptilian maw were painful to hear and enough that Pol was struggling hard to not break. "As hard as it is to admit... I wonder if maybe he could change... Caligo knows that I have changed a lot in the last few years. I mean... I am four years old now and still have no idea about most of the world. No idea how to deal with anything that comes up. I am struggling through trying to learn to be a medic, to be able to help those that need it. I cant be the typical Vapor Treader... I am not built that way. It would be like a seal trying to swim with the sharks. Perhaps Shard learned something with the way that things ended up. I can only hope that he realized that there was a different way to deal with things and in some ways, a better way." She was being more prone to speaking her mind with Bel, more comfortable with it. It was a blessing and a curse, because she couldnt erase the feeling that she was going to push away the other mare without realizing it.
Pol listened to the words from her sister, memory of similar words spoken to pup ears so very long ago. It was like a memory being brought back to her eyes. "I dont remember anything about the Sea Empress... Well... no more than just the words. It is like an echo from my past. I cant explain it... Yukime must be a great help with learning all of the things that our people have lost." Pol murmured as she took in the information. At the poke and lighter words, Pol tilted her head. "Last I checked... my glow is purple. Not that i let others see it often. The glow made the nomads uneasy, so I learned to hide it and avoid situations that might make it visible." She laughed, though it did make her wonder about her glow and why the healer had been so afraid of it.
@Below Zero
Notes: The little drama queen has a wise streak it seems <3
