[P] Quiet Reunion (Rhone)

[Luvena]

The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!

I don't know when the remembering stopped. When I went from images so vivid they burned in my mind like hot coals sizzling on sand, to paintings marred by time, to far gone to be restored. Was it when I had moved to the night order? Or later when I had spent some time within its walls. Had it been gradual or all at once? I couldn't tell, it seems like both at the same time. And I was grateful for it. Remembering was painful, and living in the present was a gift I didn't think I would ever be able to treasure again. 

There was a rhythm to the days now. A steady pace that lulled one into security. Not a false security... but a warm and gentle one. If I wanted to break it up I could, if I didn't I could keep following that steady beat.  On days like this one, I could find an escort and have them take me down the mountains, sometimes for a day, sometimes more. So I did. 

I left Picoro this time, much to his displeasure. As much as I loved the order, loved all the company it provided, sometimes it was nice to be alone, if just for a brief moment. I wandered slowly through the night court, towards the lake. Usualy it was somewhat busy, but there were a few shaded spots around the shore that were quieter. Where a moments peace could be found. Before I could make my way to one of them, a familiar face caught my eye down the shore. 

"Rhone?" I called out, making my way towards the stallion. "Its been a while! How are you? How is dusk?" 


@Rhone
okay so this is not a great starter lol but I tried

@Luvena

[Rhone]

He had been wandering, aimlessly wandering all of Novus. For so long he had never left the relative comfort of Terrastella. He would start each morning watching the sunrise from the cliffs and end his day curled up in front of a fire. But something impressed upon him that he needed to branch out, to wander. There was so much he could learn out there and he would learn none of it sitting idly in Terrastella. And so, he packed his essentials in his satchel and set off on an adventure.

His wandering had taken him through Bellum Steppe, through the Abigo caves, and then through the Arma mountains. It had been a beautiful, scenic route from the relatively security of Dusk to the newness of Denocte. Rhone had been here before, but it had always been on business and never simply because he wanted to explore. This time, however, he would take his time in Denocte, learning all that the court was willing to teach him.

As he came down through the mountains and towards the lake, he told himself that he would make camp here for the night. It was a beautiful sight and he was so sure that it would be even more beautiful in the morning as the fog rolled in over the lake. Yes, this seemed like a great place to camp.

First he gathered up load after load of firewood. It was stacked neatly in a pyramid-shaped pile, full enough that he would have plenty of wood to keep his fire going all night. Next he dug out a fire pit, careful to line it with large stones. He had heard of the forest fires in Delumine and the last thing he wanted to do was start a fire.

When the pit was completed, he began to construct his fire, starting with an outer pyramid of thick, strong wood. In the center was small sticks and twigs, wood shavings and a bird next that had no occupant. It did not take him long before the fire began to flicker to life, waring the immediate area around him. As he stared down at the flickering coals, he heard his name.

It was curious that someone would know his name here, so Rhone lifted his eyes from the flames and looked over the fire and down the shore. A familiar sight greeted him and his lips pulled into a grin. Luvena. The ribby mare had been a friend of his, a friend he had not seen in quite a long time. He wondered where she had gone off to but he was happy to see that at least she was alive and well. "Luvena…" His words were soft and silky, his eyes scanning her body in the most friendly of ways as she came to stand near him. At her words, he nodded his head softly. "I wondered where you had gone. I said a prayer that you were at least safe. I see that my prayer was answered." Where an individual found their home was not up to him. He could still maintain friendships even courts apart. Knowing that Luvena was at least still alive and well made his heart swell just a little bit. He missed her. He missed his walks with her through the court and the swamps. He missed their conversations and their friendship. Perhaps now was the time for rekindling that friendship. After all, he could still be a romantic and write her hand-written notes from time to time.

She asks how he is doing and how the court is fairing and he nods his head softly. "We are both well. I left on a sort of walkabout, I suppose you could call it that." He left in search of something more, unsure of what exactly he was looking for. Perhaps it was Luvena. Perhaps he was meant to find her here. "Come, sit with me by the fire and tell me of your new life here." He motioned to the spot in the sand just beside him as he lowered himself to the ground. The warmth felt good against his skin and he found that he did not need the blanket he had packed. In this moment, he hoped that she would join him. There was so much for them to talk about.

@Luvena

[Luvena]

The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!

I eyed the fire he had started warily as I approached, settling down nervously, a good few yards away from its warmth. I did like the way the flames flickered up towards the branches, the way small sparks flew out of the pit, embers just waiting to burn.  Nevertheless I was not going to pass up the chance to reconvene with an old friend. Rhone had been the first face I'd seen in Novus, the first pair of kind eyes to turn and welcome me into the lands embrace, and I had not forgotten that.  

I dipped my head gently. "Turns out Dusk just wasn't where fate intended me."  I turned my head away from the fire, telling myself not to look at it anymore, lest it burn into any longer. "It seems though that Vespera values your loyalty. I am doing well, in night"  
Though I felt bad, I hadn't even given a moments thought to those I'd left behind in Dusk, and for a moment I felt regret. Afterall, I likely wouldn't have stayed in Novus at all had it not been for the man before me. I'd been wandering for so long that I needed someone to halt my journey. 

"An adventure never hurts" I replied "Sometimes it's needed to remember your place in the world." The warmth of the fire on my pelt should have been comforting, and yet even so it still felt wrong, the same reason I kept no candles or fire in my room.  "I've moved into the night order" I started "They needed more healers, as did night generally I believe, and it felt... right. Dusk felt like home.. like home before, and that was too much. Night is a different sort of comfort." I let out a gentle sigh. "and mostly, the people here are kind. and what of you? any major life events I've missed out on hearing about?"

@Rhone

@Luvena

[Rhone]

Rhone watches her quietly as she comes forward and it is not missed that she seems hesitant. At first he is unsure if she is hesitant to sit next to him, or it has something to do with the fire that flickered just a few yards from him. Everyone had their fears, many of his go untold, but he has to acknowledge that others also have similar fears. He had once ruled a whole kingdom atop a volcano. Fire does not scare him anymore. However, he knows some do not like fire. Some have had their lives destroyed by a single ember gone astray. Perhaps she is scared of the fire. For a moment, he wonders if he should put it out as a courtesy.

He listens quietly as she began to tell her tale. Dusk had not been what fate had in store for her and he should respect that. Fate controlled all things and it seemed like they could not speak out against it. He did not hold it against her to follow her heart. He had done the same when he left Hoof Prince, leaving behind his kingdom and his family. He sighs. His past had a way of coming full circle and he wonders if he was to pay for his misgivings by tormenting himself over and over again.

He looks back to the fire, clearing his mind of thoughts of the Rajputs, the North, Arianah, Dierdre, and all his children. He does not have time to mourn his mistakes now. "Fate has a funny way of doing things like that." He spares her his story about how he was once a powerful king. He does not tell her he was once a father and a lover. He does not tell her of all the mistakes he still owes penance for. Tonight is not about him.

He tells her that he was on a walkabout, a journey of self reflection. "…or to simply remember who you are and who you strive to be." He had come to Novus longing for something more. He wanted to right his wrongs, to correct his mistakes. He felt as though he had failed in this journey and he needed some time to self-reflect. But alas, she did not need to know the hows and whys. He was just glad that she was still alive. It seemed as though she was his only friend still left on Novus.

He listens about her journey to Night, her reasoning being that they needed healers. Dusk was so well-known for those gifted in medicinal ways. He admired her for lending aid. Dusk and Night had always been friends so it was a natural place to gravitate towards.

But what saddens him is that she left because Dusk felt like home. What was she running from? "I am sorry home is not a pleasant memory for you." Perhaps he is assuming too much. Perhaps he shouldn’t have said anything at all. Then again, he understands her. He understands that feeling of home and belonging. He understands the pain it brings. Perhaps he should not have said anything at all.

She asks him if she has missed out on any life events and he chuckles lightly. "No. I am still unwed. I have no lover or new children…" at least not here in Novus. He briefly thinks back to his children and he wonders if they are okay, if they remember him at all. It was a different chapter of his life, a painful one. "I still reside in Dusk with no real plans to change that." He supposed things could happen. There were whispers of Night and Dawn needing soveriegns and there had been talk that maybe he would be a good choice. Leadership was something he was good at…but something he had left behind. That was not his life anymore, at least he didn’t think so. "So really, nothing has changed." he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. He presents her with a soft smile, trying to betray the uncertainty of his words. Was it a good thing that nothing had changed? Perhaps it was time for a change.

@Luvena

[Luvena]

The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!

"That too" I replied "that too..."  I had had plenty of those wanders. some against my will, from Herstial to Elysium, with visions of ashes falling following me along the way. or from Elysium to Novus. Others more willing, from Dusk to Night.  but all having brought me to who I am now.  I wondered what his story was, I knew nothing of is past, and yet everything about him felt all too familiar. little did I know that too an outsider, we met as well have been telling the same story.  

"no" I corrected gently. "no it wasn't unpleasant... it was beautiful and wonderful and... I lost it, and reliving that is painful. and dusk too was lovely but, I couldn't keep living pretending I hadn't lost anything. Night gives me something new, a past left behind. " no scents lingering on the wind, no trees engulfing me like the enchanted woods. just chilly mountain air. 

I fell silent for a few minutes. turning away from him I grew fixed once more on the flames before us, watching them curl up into little sparks. It had been years, and yet I still could not shake that lingering terror. Even now, next to him, knowing that this was controlled, I had to tell myself not to let my eyes roll, not to back away in a panic. In it I could see everything that had happened. Herstial, Crucis, the wolf queens cruel speech. 

I am ripped away from its pull by his next words, and let out a soft laugh. "me neither, no new children, no new reunions with past ones either." I pause smiling regretfully, but thinking too. I cannot keep myself from thinking that I feel a spark with this one... and not from the flickering before us. and I open my mouth before I can stop myself. 

"It could" 

@Rhone
LU HAS NEVER BEEN THIS FORWARD IN HER LIFE

@Luvena

[Rhone]

He listens quietly as she talk about her memories, saying that they were not unpleasant, just painful. He understands what she means even before the words leave her lips. He had lost so much and he knows that he feels comfortable in Dusk. He should hate himself. He should feel like a shall of an individual with a past that haunts him each and every day. And yet, he is happy and he hates himself for it. Some days he wishes he could talk about his past, but in the same breath, he doesn’t want to be a burden nor does he want pity.

His eyes rest on her and he can see the way she looks at the fire, the way she fears it. He wonders what her history has been that makes her fear something that makes him feel so alive. But he says nothing. He could not be rude and ask her to discuss her past when he cannot even open up about his own.

He sighs for a moment as he looks back up at her. "I can put it out if it would make you more comfortable." Already he has tapped into his magic, bringing a title wave of sand towards the flames. It towers high, ready to crash and smother the fire or fall back into a mound at his feet. He wants to see her relaxed. He wants to see her less on edge.

She asks if much has changed, and he tells her life is continuing on just as it was. For formalities sake, he asks her the same question and is given the same response. They are both simply surviving. It doesn’t sound like either is living life to their fullest. He tells her nothing has changed and he assumes that is the end of that conversation.

But he was wrong.
At first he did not think he heard her right. His ears flicked in her direction, picking up the words that were barely above a soft whisper. She believed things could change. What did she mean? "What do you mean?" What could change? They were both living their own monotone lives. What could possibly change for him? He had no romantic interests, no children on the way. He still lived in Dusk and did not think himself worthy enough to put his name in the goblet for king. So what did she mean? He did not want to assume anything.

After he speaks, he looks up at her, waiting under baited breath for what she will say. He wants her to elaborate, to put his mind at ease. But little does he know exactly what she is thinking for if he did, he would try to tell her that she did not deserve him. She deserved far better than a washed up king who could not even succeed as a king, a father, or a lover. She deserved so much more.

@Luvena

[Luvena]

The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!

I don't know when I stopped living. When time seemed to stop completely and the days passed without change. It wasn't that nothing happened. Just that things didn't seem to matter. Even in night still, unless I was with Tenebrae, a dear friend, nothing seemed to change. Picoro noticed it too, and chided me for it often. There was a time when I felt everything so deeply, and yet pushed it aside to keep Crucis sailing smoothly. When, despite my failing body, I put my heart into every word and every step, so much so that it nearly failed me.  I don't know when that stopped. 

"I..." I hesitate for a moment, watching his created wave rise higher and higher, casting a shadow over the earth. I didn't want to ruin his hard work, it was a well constructed fire for what it was worth. But I wasn't ready yet to face flames with open eyes. "Yes, please. Sorry"  I watch the wave, waiting for it to crash, and smother the light nearby.  It seems these days I've welcomed darkness, perhaps I should welcome Caligo too.  Afterall in the end, Vega's gift didn't serve me all that well, and Crucis abandoned me when most needed. 

I regret my words for a moment, and clamber to my hooves. Shaking, for once I don't know if its from nerves or from my thin legs. The last time I loved... I didn't say anything. We sat in silent company, and we knew, and better for it, since we would not be able to speak to each other by the time the twins came about, the wolf made sure of that.  We let our feeling be known in silence under the tumbling ashes, and billowing smoke, and we let in follow us into the sun. And we let it die under moonlit nights, in silence there too. For that I would never forgive her. 

I didn't think I should have a second chance then, who am I to think that now I get a third? To condemn someone to me, who likely has few years left, who failed to fight for her kingdom, failed to fight for a land that crumbled beneath everyone's feet. Failed to protect her child, left behind to crumble with it?  

But then... who am I to tell people they deserve more, and not give myself the same privilege? "you say you have no lover, but who are you to speak for others?" I've been forward in my life on many things, while soft spoke, I've never much been one for silence. Except when it comes to my own pursuits, those are kept locked away. 

I don't know when I stopped living, but I know I'd like to start again. 

@Rhone

@Luvena

[Rhone]

The wave of sand that stood poised and ready was more than just sand. It mirrored his life, in a sense. The way was like each new situation he found himself in. Each new situation could make her break him. The sand was like his own life. It stood still on the beach, smooth and monotone. And yet, in this wave, the sand had the power to put out fires and stop a flood. Was he the wave of sand or was he the fire? Did he have the power to raise up and to destroy? Or was he at the mercy of others?

The thoughts run far too deep and Rhone has to tell himself this is only about her. This wave is not a parallel to his own life, but a ways to perhaps make the mare in front of him more at ease. Rhone never wanted to make anyone uncomfortable and he unknowingly had by building this fire. He is so abundantly sorry, but he feels out of place in sharing that with her. Instead, he waits for her answer.

And then she asks him to put it out, apologizing for the request in the same action. "You do not need to apologize." He does not need an explanation nor does she need to apologize. Instantly, the wave of sand crashes over the fire, smothering it into a pilar of smoke. He does not tell her that he was going to use the fire to cook his dinner, a stew made of some of the greatest herbs and plants the forest has to offer. Instead, he will settle on a protein bar, bought from a vender on his journey here.

He pulls out the stick of food, opening it and breaking it in half. He uses his telekinesis to float it towards her, offering her the morsel of food as an invitation to stay and dine with him, even if it is pitch black. He supposed the darkness was a good thing. At least here he could see all the stars with clarity. Yes, even the night could be beautiful.

He listens as she begins her explanation of her thoughts and he finds he’s more confused now than he was before. He did not think that he was speaking for others, but only himself. he had no lover, no interests, no children. He supposed everyone else was free to love to do as they pleased. He was only a simple man with simple desires. It appeared as though she was wanting to say something, but unsure of what to say. "I could never speak for others. I have no power over anyone but myself." Had he misunderstood her? Had he missed the clues? Now he feels awkward. There is an awkward, uncomfortable silence that settles between them. The longer it lingers, the more uncomfortable he gets. "I am truly sorry if I have said anything to offend you. It was never my intention." He was doing all the wrong things today: saying the wrong words, building the wrong fire, and sitting here hoping that he had misunderstood here. What had happened? Had he missed something entirely?

@Luvena

[Luvena]

The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!

I watch in silence as his wave crashes over the flames, before heaving out a deep sigh. I didn't realize how tense I was until the light faded, and every muscle in my body seemed to relax at once. "Thank you" I murmur "Not much a fan of fire... if you couldn't tell" I let out a soft laugh in an attempt to mask my embarrassment.  I take his offering gently, with a slight tip of my head in thanks. It's rather bland but, to be honest I'm not really one for fancy meals anyways. I eat what I can manage when I can manage it, and that's about it. 

I follow his gaze upwards, even Elysium's skies could not rival the clarify of Denocte's. Every star shone so brilliantly, each constellation weaving itself together so clearly, you could almost see the lines drawn between the stars without effort.  I wondered which of my friends were up there among the stars now, whether Cavalier was among them, or my parents. 

I cannot keep myself from sighing in frustration at his words. "Good gods. No. Rhone you haven't offended me. but do I really have to spell things out for you?" I shake my head, looking back up to the sky. I don't even know how to say what I'm thinking without sounding like a silly courtyard filly.  "I have two loves in my life. One a horrible man who decided to take his flames to my kingdom, because I was poor judge of character. One a lovely woman who saved me from a second kingdom fire, but... I guess couldn't handle the fact that I am the way I am and left with our son... and I would like... to love again. And I think, maybe, I'm starting to, with you."

@Rhone 
trying to get these words out of lus mouth caused me physical pain.

@Luvena

[Rhone]

It's instantaneous, her change in demeaner. Rhone can see that the fire was causing her great anxiety. There was a part of him that was happy she spoke up for her discomfort, letting him know that it bothered her. Rhone had always been the sort that preferred to make people happy and feel at home. Making someone uncomfortable or scared went against everything he stood for. Rhone was a peacekeeper, a welcomer, a comforter. Rhone had done so much harm in his life that he had vowed to never harm again. He was doing fairly well at keeping that vow, his only slip ups were the ones that he did unintentionally…like this fire.

He watched her relax and he nodded his head softly when she thanked him, telling him that she wasn’t a far of fire. "I gathered that fire was a fear. I’m sorry to have caused you undue stress." But at least now the fire was out and she appeared far more comfortable. It was a little awkward to be gathered around an unlight fire, but Rhone took it in stride. At least now that was behind them and they could hash out other conversations that frankly, made Rhone far more uncomfortable than his feelings of failure for making her scared.

Romance had been something that Rhone had sworn off years ago. He had not been a great lover or a great father, so when he had come to Novus, he had essentially told himself he would be a monk. He would dedicate what remained of his life to bettering himself, righting his wrongs, and serving Terrastella with every cell in his body. The last thing he expected was for someone to fall for him. So naturally, when she began to speak, telling him that he hadn’t offended her, he heaved a sigh of relief. However, that relief was short lived.

Did she need to spell things out for him? Perhaps so. He wasn’t sure where the conversation was going. There were so many possibilities and yet, none of them led him in the direction of romance. And yet, he listened quietly to her story of those she had loved. A stallion who took fire to her home (he supposed that was probably where her fear of fire came from) and a mare who had saved her life from yet another raging inferno. But things didn’t stop there. She spoke of leaving with her son because of some inner turmoil that he supposed he had no right to be privy to. But then she was telling him that she wanted to love again…and that she thought she was starting to love him.

Rhone was quiet, her words being processed and sorted in his mind. He had told himself that he would not love again, that he would not put another through the torment he had unknowingly put Arianah and Dierdre through. But here he was, sitting in the quiet and stillness of the night, listening to a mare who wanted to love him and wanted him to love her in return. For once, the Champion of Wisdom didn’t have the words to say what was on his heart. He did not want to put her down and yet, he wasn’t sure he could give her what she wanted, what she needed. "Luvena…" His words were softly spoken, just barely over a whisper. He did not like hurting people. He could already feel the pain he would undoubtedly cause her. "You deserve to love again…but I…" He paused, unsure of what to say. "…you deserve someone far better than me." She deserved to love someone that could give her their entire soul. Rhone was damaged and broken. Rhone could not hurt her by leading her on.

And yet, as he stood here in the quiet, he felt like he owed her more of an explanation. She deserved to know why. "I too have had two great loves. Ariannah and I went through more hardships than anyone should. I left a kingdom for her. But life isn’t kind. It’s cruel and hard. We welcomed five children into the world and I buried one. In the end, I chose my kingdom over my family and it tore us apart. And Dierdre? My queen. We came together in a time of duty. We had a daughter together…but life didn’t ask me what I wanted. Life pulled me away from them too." He sighed. Not many knew that he was once a king. So few knew much about his past at all. There was a reason Rhone did not share much about his past. "I ruined the lives of eight and of my entire kingdom. I am forever in their debt and I will continue to pay for my transgressions until the moment I take my last breath." He sighs. This was not the way he had wanted this conversation to go. "You deserve someone who can give you his, or her, whole heart. I am damaged, Luvena…you do not want me." She couldn’t possibly want him. She could do so much better than him. Perhaps this was just a crush that would pass in time, or perhaps it was real and would never fade. He just hoped that no one else had to be hurt on account of him.

@Luvena