I have fond memories of summer, days spent under the sun, picking flowers from under the willow trees, and weaving them into delicate chains. I used to fill a basket with them, and take them to all the children who were out and about that day. If I couldn't rule my birthright, than I could at least try to make it's people happy. I think I did most days, even if I let them down in the end.
I have memories of Elysium in the summer too, my boys running around like fools in the shallow oasis waters, lounging with Cavalier on it's shore. Or quiet summers under the shelter of the woods, watching the Artax graze, so unimaginably huge.
I have darker memories of summer too. Fires blooming into a bright sky, the ashes growing so thick it became dark as we ran through the grove. My parents bodies, bloodstained and lifeless on the forest floor. summer days in the desert, so sweltering hot that my body nearly gave in on so many of them.
But here I will make new ones. I don't visit the prairie often. It's too open for my liking, I've always lived under the cover of trees and mangroves, and I feel a sort of unease when all I can see overhead is the sky. I'd intended to go back to the mountains today, but I spoke to the acolyte in the foothills to tell him to come back tomorrow. I was exhausted, and worried that I wouldn't be able to make it all the way up, even with his help. So I'd come to the prairies instead, despite Picoro's protests that I should go to shelter by the lake. I.. don't know what it was, or why but something was just telling me to come here instead.
Yara walked calmly beside me through the barren field, while Mithra waltzed ahead. Recently Picoro had taken to being on her back instead of mine, and though sometimes it saddened me to feel him so far, I knew it was only because he could get a better grip on her fur, and lessen the burden on my back. It was while we ambled a long, our shambled quartet, that I caught it on the air. Just a touch, of that familiar spark, one I hadn't fell in so long. One I thought had died out long ago. And I thought, that I must have been growing feverish, and it was time to lay down. It was just like when I had been in Dusk, and I kept thinking I could smell LIatris in the air. I hoped now that it was just the fever talking, and not my past following me to Denocte as well.
I found a spot, a place where the grass was long enough to hide me completely as I laid on the earth. "Mithra!" I called, raising my voice higher than I would usually, trying to ensure she heard me over the winds that whistled uninterrupted over the prairie. She romped over at her own pace. Yara laid on one side of me, and Mithra joined me on the other, while Picoro crawled from her back to mine. "What's wrong?" his voice is always soothing, even though it's almost always used to growl some sort of warning at me "Nothing" "Luvena we are one in the same mind... I know when you are troubled and when you are not" "I..."I hesitate even with Picoro still, to tell him what I am thinking "I know it's just the fever talking but... I thought for a moment I felt it, that spark of familiarity, like before. Like Elysium and the waste, and all of it all at once" "You don't have one Luvena" "hm?" "You aren't feverish. Not yet at least"
I lifted my head, brows furrowing. So I had let it follow me to Denocte then. I let out a soft sigh, but before I could say anything further I could hear rustling through the grass far ahead, nearly hidden by the wind. The girls pressed in tighter. I stood up slowly, not feverish apparently, but still tired. It took me a moment to see ahead, blinking into the sunset ahead. I still found myself blinking rapidly as they did clear.
A million emotions tore through me at once. Surely I was hallucinating? I could see a million images racing through my head, comparing to the figure ahead. The antlers and striped coat, one I had only ever seen against a stark red backdrop. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest, pounding so loud I could hardly hear the wind anymore. "Kodarki?" the words came out as a strangled as my heart felt. I was still unsure if what I was seeing was real, or all in my head, and so I stayed put, my feet planted unsteadily underneath me. I hadn't asked the girls to steady, yet both of them leaned up against me, not letting me sway either way.
i felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind
Home was a farflung memory, tied to a distant life bound up in dreams that had ebbed and flowed as easily as the tides.
The unfamiliar faces, the new lands to discover, and his own unwillingness to meet anybody had hidden him away from the world in the rumbling bowels of Solterra. It had been the closest he'd found to the warmth of Elysium's rolling dunes, and although it had lacked the blood red sands lapping at his hooves, it had, at least, kept him in some sort of capricious sanity.
There hadn't been many times when Galileo had been without a purpose; he knew how much he hated the feeling and so, whenever he found himself tumbling into aimlessness, he had sought out a new one. Recently, however, he had not cared to follow under someone else's rules, and had found himself wandering around stuck in his own thoughts. Shockingly, he had no desire to serve, to find someone worthy of his life -- a life he would have previously surrendered to any worthy royal or commander who had asked him to.
So as he took to the prairie that day, a place he'd been multiple times now, but never truly noticed, he went with the expectations that he would walk and think and reminisce on happier days. The romanticised version of his life played on repeat in his head, and his eyes were dulled from the carelessness that racked his muscular form. Even the way he walked had changed, going from his proud, purposeful stride to a gloomy drift.
There was no place for him here.
In the midst of his despondency, something brushed against him. It had felt so real, like the touch of a velveteen muzzle from a friend, and he had shuddered as a cold chill ran down his spine.
Suddenly, he was alert.
There was nothing near him, no leaf that could have touched him, no tree branch that could have scraped him... For a moment, he thought perhaps he had dreamed it. The gods had abandoned him long ago, if they ever had favoured him, so he didn't believe it to be them.
Antlers raising to the sky, he turned his head. Left, then right, then behind... and there, there was someone on the horizon. Their form danced a little in his ageing sight, and he peered closer in an attempt to understand if they were friend or foe. To their side, they had wolves... no, dogs. Whoever it was looked unsteady on their feet, not menacing, and he slowly started to move towards them, spurred on by a feeling inside that he could not quite explain. As he moved, the power he had harnessed for all those years but that had recently been abused came flooding back.
And he ran.
Towards her, speeding up as he went, hooves like drums on the prairie floor. With every inch he drew closer he became an inch more joyful, and threw his head back with a gleeful whinny. It was clear she was in shock, not believing her eyes at the ghost he had become to her, and he skidded to a halt just before reaching her, dancing around her as though he were a foal.
"I found you! I found you!" He called out, his usually deep and husky tone full of emotion and hope.
And then, he stopped, and drew closer to her. Breathing hard from the pace he had run at, he met her eyes and ruffled her mane with his mouth affectionately, pulling as close as he could to her side. With a whisper, he dipped his head into her shoulder, though he was much taller than the mare and had to bend considerably.
I stood stone still as he ran towards me, my eyes pinned on him, the rest of the world a dizzying blur. These days I didn't even know how many years it had been since I'd left Elysium, and all my friends within it. How old my sons were, I often forgot how old I was amongst everything that had happened. And I had never cared to remember, knowing that the memories would only bring back more pain, the longer I lingered within them. But now in this moment everything came flooding it at once, so strong it felt like my heart had stopped. My breath came in short gasps, and even as he danced around me in pure bliss, I stood in shock.
I thought they were all dead. I told myself they were, because it was worse to think that they were all out there and that I'd never see them again. How cruel was the last act of the firstborns, to not give us a chance to say our goodbyes, or venture off together. To take everything they had ever given us over the years and and toss it out of our reach like it was meaningless. All of our hopes, and endeavors, our earnings, gone. Just like that.
But here he was.
I flung myself into him with all the strength I had. Reaching in and finding what I had been given by Vega, whatever last shred of it remained. In that moment nothing, no person or force could have stopped me. I found my vision flooded with a thousand tears, ones I had not allowed myself to cry when Cavalier left, or when the woods had burned. Even after losing my son, I hadn't let myself, and now they all came at once. My body shook so hard as I sobbed that I could hardly stand, and I found myself leaning in to him to keep myself up, the girls having backed away.
"Kodarki I..." I stopped, gasping for air through each word. "I thought you were dead! You're here"
In all those years since Elysium I thought I'd been stuck in my own feelings of the past, but I realized now, that I hadn't let myself feel them at all. That feeling I'd hated so much wasn't sadness, or regret. It was numbing. All of it, buried deep, and finally bubbling to the surface.
I'd forgotten just how tall he was, and reached up to push my face into his mane. "I'm still not convinced you aren't some fever dream" I murmured gently, only partly joking. "That you aren't just death staring me in the face again." I was still sobbing, unable to stop the tears from coming. I surely seemed a mess.
Slowly though, they went from tears of all the loss, and fury, and sorrow of the years, to joy. A smile began to spread across my face. I pulled away as I finally managed to stop myself from shaking. Suddenly no longer exhausted, but filled with an energy I hadn't felt in years. A laugh bubbled up inside me, and out of nowhere came out, it was my turn to dance. My legs moved more gracefully then they had since Vega's blessing as I pranced around him. Thank the stars, the heavens, and all nine hells that something had told me to stay in this prairie, that for once I'd listened to instinct.
I pulled myself back into him still laughing "I can't believe you're here! I though fate was keep us all apart forevermore"
i felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind
It was shock that wrapped it's electric fingers around Galileo as he saw her, his friend, his Luvena, and it was the numbness that held him firmly planted in place, the world vowing that it would never separate them again. He was happy, oh so happy, and didn't want the moment to end. Her scent reminded him of all the things he loved: the Red Waste, Elysium, his herd... there even seemed to something of the goddess Vega lingering on her, as though she was blessed and watched over by the war-god.
As she pushed into him deeper, he wrapped himself around her, his head nuzzling in as close as he could get. Never one for affection, those who knew him as General Kodarki (or even Commander Kodarki from his time in Elysium) would be shocked to see the man show so much care. But this wasn't just anyone, this was Luvena. Luvena was like family. No. She was family.
"As if I would ever die," Galileo joked, a deep bellow coming from his chest and he sarcastically flicked his head back. He paused, before adding, "it's nice to hear someone call me that."
Before he knew it, she was crying, and he came very close to joining her. He understood her emotions, more than he'd ever understood his emotions ever in his life. Luvena was a part of his past, a good, decent, happy memory. A horse who had treated him so well and made him who he was today. She was part of a life he thought long dead and buried, but now it had resurfaced and was offering him another chance of redemption.
"I've not known what to do with myself, little Lu. I've felt so lost..." He admitted, shaking his head sadly, the tone of his voice showing that he was glad to get this pain of his chest. "There has been nobody since Syrilth to serve. There's been no cause to join to. I'm nothing like I was once, Lu." It came tumbling out and his brow furrowed in an attempt not to cry.
More enthusiastically, he spoke again. "But you're here, in these lands. What have you been doing? Where have you been? Have you found your purpose, little Lu?"
The purposeless, husk of a man let himself feel for once. And it was only Lu's dancing that cheered him slightly, her face beaming with radiant light that brightened his day like the most joyous sunrise.
I almost wanted to kick him for that line, playfully though if anything. "As if I was to know!" I retorted with fake indignance. "If immortality can be taken away on a whim then it wasn't much of a stretch" I stand for longer than I can tell, just existing with him i that moment. As if there was nothing else in the world that mattered. At this moment there wasn't. Even Picoro, the grumpy little thing he was had climbed up her neck to rest his head on Kodarki's.
I froze as he explained his feeling of loss. "Oh Stars me too" I murmured. I didn't miss the break in his voice, the way it crumbled just ever so slightly at the end. "No one else will ever know what those of us who were in Elysium have been through... I don't think I'll ever forgive the firstborns... to taunt someone with life like that I..." My voice started to break again, though I cleared my throat before it had the chance."It was cruel of her... to let me have a taste of that, and then to take it away"
I had had a moment, just a fleeting moment, where I could run and leap to my hearts desire. Where I could keep up with my son, and live every day without worrying that the next I'd be splayed out on the ground. I was reminded again of that cruelty now, as the rush of adrenaline slowly left me. The last bit of Vega's strength, the piece I didn't know I'd been saving, used up at last. Slowly I crumpled to my knees, suddenly more exhausted than I had been before. I reached up, trying to pull him with me, so we could lay beneath the stars that were slowly blinking back into existence, as the sun said its goodbyes.
"Oh..." I replied with a soft sigh. "I dont know... I mean... I'm doing what I always have, healing, helping where I can, but, I don't know if that my purpose. I don't think I've ever really been happy with just that. I was in Terrastella for a while, working in the hospital but I just... it was too much like Crucis. I live here now. In Denocte. The mountains. It's..." I hesitated, looking for the right word. "quiet. But what about you? Where did you go, after..." I stopped there, letting our homelands fate linger in the air.
i felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind
Picoro's soft face was a welcome sight to Galileo, and he nudged the sloth playfully but gently so as not to knock him from his perch. Luvena hadn't changed much, though she did look a little older, and that made him sad for a moment. But then he remembered how he must look now too, for they both were aging. He sure could feel it in his bones, these days, and he was grateful for the desert's warmth so his legs didn't seize up.
"I'm sorry, Lu." He spoke with sincerity as he put some space between them, so he could better see her. "We've both lost a lot in our lives. It's been tough on us both, but look at us now! I think us meeting again simply proves that we are survivors." His gruff voice floated along the air with a tint of hope, and he tried to look reassuring towards Luvena. Though he wasn't entirely aware of the extent of her loss, and she did not know much about his past before Elysium, he knew that they both were stronger for all the pain and heartache they had experienced.
"Tell me," he mused, turning away to look behind her at the two dogs. "Where did you find this pair?"
Galileo had never had an animal of his own. It had always been his style to travel alone, with nobody relying on him. The woman in front of him had a sloth and the two dogs, and he imagined they were enormous sources of comfort to her.
Nodding along as she explained what she had been doing, he let out a snicker when she mentioned she was healing. That was good, very good. The mare had a talent and it should not be left to rot. Galileo's skill was killing the enemy. Luvena's was saving anyone who needed her help, and it was a noble goal -- unlike his own skills, or so he had grown to realise.
"I should tell you that I've been going as Galileo around these parts. I heard whispers in taverns that they -- that is, my family -- are still looking for me. I don't know who in my family wants me back, but if it is my parents, then... well, I can't go back." For a fleeting moment, he considered if it was one of his siblings. Perhaps Lynx was in need of his help. Or maybe his brothers weren't dead as he had been told. That thought did not bear consideration, however. "Call me what you like, Lu, but just be cautious of who you tell that there is a Kodarki living in these lands. It's difficult to know who to trust, these days".
The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!
"I suppose it does"I murmured, laying my head across his legs as he joined me on the soft prairie floor. I hoped we'd stay survivors for much longer. I didn't know now how I felt about the thought of death, I'd accepted it at one point, but it was hard to do that now, after having just a taste of life. "Do you know if... if anyone else from elysium made it?" I was hesitant to ask, knowing it would bring up painful memories for us both, but I needed to know, if he had any idea about Liatris, or anyone else.
I lifted my head from his legs, looking back at the girls, who were finally coming about to sniff at the man. "In the mountains" I replied watching them circle around cautiously, before they each slowly began to give their tails a soft wag. "Yara" I gestured to the slightly larger of the 7 month old pups, "was all huddled up in a crevice while Mithra," I gestured to the other "Was wandering around like a newborn foal. I brought them back to the temple and they haven't stopped following me around since" I laughed. "It's not the same as having a bonded, they don't share that connection, but I love them all the same. I've been trying to teach them a few things. I'd rather like to stop fetching an apprentice or an acolyte every time I fancy leaving the mountains" I let a soft sigh leave me, of slight frustration. I was tired of relying on the strength of others.
They understood to some extent, I was sure, though they weren't quite big enough yet for it to be safe to really rely on it. Soon though. Besides I had to admit, it felt rather noble to have two large canines flanking one as they walked. and if I ever was graced again by beauty, well, it would be quite the sight.
"Oh come now don't laugh at me!" I responded indignantly to his snicker. "Believe me I'd rather be doing more as well, but I'm a little stuck with what I can do"
My brow furrowed slightly as he spoke of his name, his family, and I pulled my head away, looking at him with a deep concern, though I didn't dare pry any further. "I won't say a word, and I won't ask you to share anymore but..." I paused "Are you safe?" I had just found my friend again, and I didn't care to lose him. I laid my head once more across his legs. "I hope you won't move on from here so soon"
i felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind
Gently laying his head over her in an almost protective manner, he eyed the dogs to make sure they weren't overly protective of their mistress. The last thing he wanted was to be ripped to shreds by his best friend's pets, after all. The question she asked was a poignant one, and it filled his golden-amber eyes with a sadness he had not displayed often. "I've heard rumours, here and there, but nothing solid. I should have made more of an effort to track them down, but I didn't want my quests to end in disappointment". Or worse, he thought, learning that his friends had left the earthly world. "Was there someone in particular you hoped to see?"
His own mind was cast back to his son, the foal who came to being out of necessity instead of love. Darsith. The horse had been nothing like his father except for his emotionlessness, and, as far as he was aware, he had never performed the duty he had been brought into the world for -- to be an heir to the Lyrian throne. Syrilth and Galileo had lost track of the foal and he had gone awry.
Now his heart beat as one: alone, unattached, unloved, and oh, so forlorn.
Grunting as he shifted his (heavy) weight to a more comfortable position, he let thoughts of the past drift from his mind, and turned back to the present. "So you heal in the mountains, eh?" A hint of his accent shone through. "But who do you serve?" He questioned, trying to understand her position. All the talk of acolytes and apprentices made his head hurt, as hierarchy seemed to do these days. Still, it assured him that Luvena was doing well, if she had command over others. Pride swelled in him.
When she asked if he was safe, he reassured her with a smile; it was a smile that bundled all the feelings in the world into one small twitch of a muscle. "I am, now I have you to protect me!" It was a joke, but a sincere one, though it was likely to be the other way round for the pair. "I had nothing to stay here for until I found you again, and if this is your home, so shall it be mine."
This was more than Galileo had ever spoken in his life, and it was all for his best friend (one of the most pure loves of all, is friendship), his confidant, and his only true source of comfort in the everchanging world.
The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!
I let my head sink deeper in disappointment. I'm not sure what answer I had expected from him, I doubt any of us were concerned with looking for others when we left, but still, his answer made my heart sink. "Liatris" I murmured "I was in Crucis by then... I left him in the waste, and, I-" I'm not even sure how to finish my thought for a moment. "am not certain what his fate was."
I seemed to remember him and Syrilth having a child, though I think by then I had left the waste. I assumed, by his answer, that they too had lost their son to Elysiums tragedy. So many we had presumably lost. King Gotham, Syrilth, Oberon... all as good as dead as far as I was concerned.
I hadn't really though about who I served. "Well I... I suppose the queen technically, while I'm here, though I never did meet her, and I heard that she's not been seen in some time, or something. I don't know, I'm quite far removed from court preceding's. I'm sure they'll have someone take her place soon. Really though I serve the night order which... there's not really a hierarchy of any sort. there's the healers and the acolytes. who care for the temple and its people. and then the apprentice, lot of foolish boys they are. and the monks, who serve Caligo, which... I guess, I suppose I should serve her but" I hesitate to tell him of my doubts, but if I do not tell him the truth then, I would never tell anyone "Well to be honest, I don't care much for gods these days... not after last time" I find myself wrinkling my nose ever so slightly at the thought.
I couldn't keep myself from snorting at his tease. "Oh yes, A sharp jab to the side from my ribs will do them right in!" I laughed, my eyes twinkling nearly as bright as the stars above.
I close my eyes, still resting my head over his legs. "Good" I breathed, already drifting off now that I'd let myself get comfortable "Stay here with me for now, at least until the sun rises" And with that, I let myself fall into sleep, knowing he wouldn't dare now, not when we'd just found each other again.
i felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind
"Don't." He begins, in an attempt to ease her mind. "Don't think about it now. It is the not knowing that hurts more than anything. You could think the worst of him and for all you know, it could be the opposite to the truth." The advice he gave was the same he should take himself, but he'd never been good at that. The truth was, he didn't know if Liatris -- or, in fact, anyone from Elysium -- was alive or dead. But that didn't matter, because it was important to focus on the living. It had always been a cold thought, but one that had hardened him to the things he'd seen, and it worked nonetheless.
Let the dead lie.
Of course, he would not say that to Luvena. That was not what she needed to hear in these moments. Instead, she filled his ears with talk of night orders and royals and things he, if he was honest, did not entirely care about anymore. But it was nice to hear her voice, and he listened to the sing-song notes as he drifted into a more comfortable state.
The coolness of the evening was setting in, and he was glad to have the warmth of another body beside him. Tail gracefully placed over her back, he allowed her to lean into him, protectively looking around before settling himself. "I have no plans to go anywhere. I lost you once, and now I've found you again, and I'd like it to stay that way." As she drifted off, he turned his head upwards, the first twinkles of light appearing, and remembered the whispers on the westerly winds that used to billow through their homeland.
Don't forget, they murmured in his ear, to look to the stars...
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