[P] Quiet Reunion (Rhone)

[Luvena]

The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!

"No its fine" I replied quickly, awkwardly. "I thought I would manage but this is one thing I just can't seem to shake" no matter how many times I try to face it, I cannot quell the panic, that borders on hysteria every time.  

I often think about how I've blown my one shot at motherhood, losing my both my sons due to my own failures, in one way or another. Knowing that now there is no way I could sustain a healthy pregnancy, knowing that even if I lived through it, no child would. I would rest easier, if I could at least know, that I hadn't blown my chances at love, not yet.  

I said almost those same things to Cavalier once, and I am ready to nearly parrot them back to him.  "You think I dont think the same way? That you don't deserve far better than an ailing woman? One who can hardly stand on her own four legs half the time?"  I retorted softly, turning my gaze onto him. 

I fell silent though, as he told his truths, gave me his story, one I never would have asked for him to share, but touched that he would do so. I dipped my head for him, as he spoke of his children, one he had to bury, though I had no words to comfort him, I knew well enough, that there weren't any. "Rhone..." I murmured. "I'm broken too" 

"I was born into a throne, but my parents decided for me that I was too sick to hold it. And so my father took an apprentice, and when I fell for him... it was decided that he would take the throne when we wed. He did take it, and with it, he burned everything. the whole kingdom, slaughtered them. All because I was born as I am, and because I trusted him. I doomed all my people. I didn't even go back after, to see if any of them survived. "  I can't keep my brow from furrowing slightly with regret.  "My wife left with one of our sons... and when elysium crumbled..." I choke slightly on the words, and don't manage to finish the thought. "I didn't get to bury my other one."  

I don't mean to trivialize his struggles, nor do i mean to diminish them. only to show him that I come with baggage to. "and there's the matter of my... lifespan. I've had ten years Rhone, and I don't think I have more than one or two good ones left. I had immortality in my clutch for a moment but I suppose the gods decided I didn't deserve it anymore... I want to make the most of the time I have. that's all."

@Rhone

@Luvena

[Rhone]

Broken did not even begin to describe Rhone. Rhone was old. He had lived his life completely and had made a mess of it. It was surprising that he was allowed even this chance to try and make things right. The fact that he was here on Novus was testament enough that someone thought he had a chance to make his life better. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure what the Gods saw in him, but they must see something or else he would not be standing here.

He does not mean to compare his story with her own because he knows there is no comparison. They have both had rough lives and they are both only trying to survive. But he listens when she speaks more in-depth of her past. She’s opening up to him and Rhone, for a moment, is scared that he cannot do the same for her. Yes, he shared some of his history, but he did not share the details. She got the cliff-notes version and he was afraid he would be unable to allow her to read his autobiography.

But something about what she says strikes a chord with him. She does not get to bury her son. Losing a child is the worst pain an individual can suffer from. No parent should bury their child. "So honor him here, in Novus." While he knew and understood her fear of fire, lighting a candle for him, saying a prayer, or even releasing a lantern into the sky. Any of those things might honor the death of her son and give her closure. Rhone knew that closure was everything.

He’s quiet again as she talks about her lifespan. Never had he thought she would leave this earth early. Sure, she looked a little unhealthy, but everyone has their troubles. Rhone liked to think she had more time than she might be letting on. "Immortality or health can still come to you, Luvena. While I did not grow up worshiping the Gods of Novus, I have found them to be reasonable." He wishes there was something more he could tell her, but he worries that saying anything further might do more harm than good.

He sighs as he adjust his feet beneath him to get them more comfortable in the sand. He thinks about her expressed desire to make the most of whatever time the Gods decide to give her, whether it be one day or a thousand. He can respect that and he understands that. "I cannot promise you love for I have built a wall around my heart for a reason…" He pauses, unsure of how he really wants to word his statement. He doesn’t want to offend her and yet, he doesn’t want to lead her on either. He wants to be honest and truthful with her, she deserves that at a minimum. "…but I can try." He couldn’t promise her they would ride off into the sunset together. Life would continue to be hard on them both, but he could at least offer her an attempt. Maybe love would happen. Maybe the ice around his heart would slowly melt away and he could let more of her in. There was a lot of maybes in a world with so much uncertainty.

@Luvena

[Luvena]

The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!

I know I should do it. Honor him, send him off somehow, and simply finish the whole ordeal. but... "If I do that" I replied nearly inaudibly "Than that would mean he is really gone, and I'm not... I am not ready for that reality. not yet, not after everything I went through to have him in the first place" 

His hope for me was heartwarming, it was, but he was not the first to have said such things to me, and he certainly would not be the first to be mistaken. How many times had I heard that someone, or something could fix me, and only once had they been right. I shook my head, feeling more like I was letting him down than myself. "Rhone this killed me once before. I walked away with death, before I was granted immortality at the last possible second. I hadn't even walked the earth for a decade yet. Health will not come for me yet, and I do not intend to waste hope on anything else, when I could be living now instead" 

I have wasted so much time waiting for good things to come to me, for things to fall into my grasp like leaves in autumn. I do not want to spend any more time waiting,  I cannot spend anymore time waiting. It is time I do not have.  I listen to the last of his plight, and pull myself to my feet, careful not to stumble on the rutted earth, I move forward until I am at my side, and lean my head down to his ear. "So try for me" I whisper. 

With a quick brush of my muzzle against his mane, I step away, turning around. "Goodnight Rhone" With that I walk away, turning tail back into the night, back towards the foothills, where I can return to the mountains, and if I am lucky, maybe, just maybe, he will try for me. 

@Rhone
A closer, just to leave him wanting more ;)

@Luvena

[Rhone]

Rhone can respect and understand her inability to let go. It had been hard to let Alexia go, to finally toss dirt over her small, cold body. To bury a foal is hard and he was not ready not prepared to lose his very first child. He didn’t want to let go either, so he understands her. He simply offers her a nod of his head, a silent acceptance. She would be ready in time, when that would be was another question for another day. Only she could really say.

What he could not agree with was her inability, or rather her unwillingness, to fight for her health. There were medics and shaman who could easily extend her life or even better it. Choosing not to use these services was foolish, but he knew she didn’t want to hear that from him. She had lived in Dusk before, she knew what Dusk Court was capable of. In all his years of wisdom, he knew that you cannot force help on someone who doesn’t want it. She had to be ready and open to help before it could be freely given.

Eyes watch as she slowly picks herself up from the sand, careful about where she places her feet. Rhone is not yet ready to watch her leave because he feels as though there is still so much more left unsaid. But he says nothing. She has made up her mind and perhaps she had good reason to. Ear flick at the sudden sensation of her breath against them, taking in her words and knowing that he will at least try for her.

He leans into the affection she displays to his nape, listening as she says her final goodbyes. "Goodnight, Luvena." He watches her until she disappears before he sighs and turns back to his fire, or what is left of the hot coals. He gets to work rebuilding and relighting his fire, watching as it flickers back to life. Such an interesting evening it had proven to be.

@Luvena