it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
It was almost like a dream.
There was a part of her that kept thinking this was to perfect. The soft crash of the waves. Their picture perfect 'date' on the cliff side. His warmth against her . . . it was too perfect, to ideal, to surreal. Like any moment she would jolt away, and she'd be mortal, and he'd still be missing from her life, they'd still be fighting, none of this would happen. The very thought was enough for her to shift closer, to snuggle into his side, relaxing only when his wings draped over her, surrounding her in his warmth, his scent. "You know you really don't need to do anything special for me." She told him after a moment, looking up at him softly, "Having you close by is more than enough for me right now. You and Jiri both." There was a brief tail that slapped her leg, startling her as she peered at her bonded from where she was suntanning on a rock, and she smiled gently, "Oh, you're important to me too, silly." The bonded snubbed her in favor of curling back up to doze.
Melodramatic lizard.
She settled back into the comfort of the casual conversations, words coming out between them they'd both been too afraid to make real before. His touch was like electricity, though, reminding her this wasn't a dream, it was real, even as she melted beneath his touch, her smile soft, "It is a little startling, to think we've actually come this far, that where trying something so terrifying, for both of us." Her eyes closed, content with the attention, his soft touch, as her muzzle draped over his leg, "But it's not so scary . . . not if it's you . . . It just feels right instead."
She had to snort at the idea of him chasing her.
Though she cracked an eye when he asked her what she was. She playfully narrowed the look before closing her eyes, as he nibbled at her ear, flicking the finned appendage in amusement, "You didn't have to yell at . . . . Well, no. I guess you did, didn't you?" She mused quietly, becoming more used to those words, every time he told her. Believing them a little more every time he said them so casually. So casually, so full of meaning. "So, I might be a liiiiittttle bit stubborn too." She admitted with a laugh, lifting her head to playfully pout, "But it's not my fault you kept those feelings bottled so far down I had no idea!"
She turns her attention to his feathers then.
His words had her glancing at him, even as she gently aligned each feather, her smile soft, "Just imagine where we might be if you'd been up front about it all in the beginning." She paused, turning her gaze to Sol, her gaze playfully, "Imagine if you'd not let me tell my sister that you were just my friend, and had said that that might be a good idea after all. Who knows where we might be now." She teased, even though her gaze betrayed the feeling of having lost time with him. Having hidden behind falsaties, writing things off, "At least we finally made it to this point."
At his mention of his daughter, she snorted again.
His stubbornness indeed, though his casual comment of hoping that Jiri gains her heart, her compassion had her heart twinge, and she looked up at him softly, "I hope so too. To see her grow into a bright and charming young mare. She deserves the world." That rush of maternal love overwhelmed her briefly, and she smiled softly, "I love her, you know." She admitted quietly, her gaze soft at the thought of the little filly, "More than I could ever express, that little filly stole my heart."
And her father wasn't far behind.
His words soothed her though, and she pressed her muzzle to his cheek in reassurance, "I promise, you'll never lose me. You're my sun too. You make the world brighter for me . . . I could never go with out your light." And then she grinned playfully, "So it's a good thing you both are so fond of me." She brushed her muzzle through his mane gently, before leaning back against him, "Because I have no intention of going anywhere."
Sol chuckled. "Oh Bel… The joys of being courted… I am more than allowed to do special things to show that I love you." He murmured, nuzzling her. The slap from Yuki caught his attention and he flicked an ear. "Trouble in paradise?" He teased as he watched the creature curl back up.
Sol laughed and nodded, realizing that she was right. "Yeah… to think that I once thought that brute force was the way to win the heart of a mare. Though… in an odd way… An angry outburst opened your eyes to my feelings." He snorted, though his heart melted as she dropped her head to his leg. The moment of pure trust that it had to take for such a move was enough to make him pause and simply watch her in wonder.
"Just a bit." He snorted, golden eyes dancing as he watched the mare. Yes, it was mostly his fault. The stallion would admit it. Then she started teasing him and he chuckled softly again. "Perhaps… but it was harder then. I knew you had your secrets, your hidden pain. I would have never pushed it. And then you kept calling me your friend and… It made it so hard to convince myself to say the words. I was so terrified that if I did, you would leave. That you would run screaming because I am such a giant mess with my own background. I never thought you would really, truly feel the same. The night at the candles… I wanted nothing more than to say yes to your sister. To admit it there and then. But you were hurting. I couldn’t add more to that moment when it was already so intense. So… I kept bottling it. I figured I was being there as your friend and doing my best to be ok with it. It just seemed to be wrong every time the words wanted to escape." The stallion paused, hesitant to meet her gaze again. "When we argued… you were already so mad at me. I could see your pain, and I was dying because I had missed you so terribly… The words wouldn’t stay bottled and I figured I had nothing else to lose. It felt like I was already losing you. That day was emotional and intense and so confusing… but I can’t find it in myself to be mad that it came to it. It took a moment of pure emotions to be able to break that bottle and admit it. To bring up the words that I knew would be hard to hear. I hate that I had to say his name to get you to understand my thoughts and feelings. I can’t bear the idea that I hurt you. I am sorry that it came out that way. I really am." His head dropped, eyes closed as he let the words flow freely. It was hard to do it, particularly after everything that they had been through.
Sol smiled, finally meeting her gaze. "She is a gift, nearly as much as you. She loves you too, my heart. Since that first meeting… you are all she speaks of." He chuckled softly.
Her touch calmed the torrent in his heart and he took a soft breath. "Those words alone are enough to soothe my heart." The stallion gazed out over the world around them. This was the most unusual and surreal day. Oriens knew that he didn’t expect a cliff top date with Bel, in his wildest dreams. And yet he was there with her. The stallion found himself pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, taking in her scent and sighing softly.
@Below Zero
"Sol Words" Notes: Holy speech Batman O.o
it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
Bel smiled at his nuzzle, his chuckle, his words.
This was courting, he said. Yet it was nothing like when Shard courted her. The excuses of needing to do work for the Pod. Leaving her alone for days on end with nothing more than an apology and a nap together in the seaweed. THis . . . THis was so much more. She snorted once, smiling at Yuki, "She's just not as sappy as well are." She teased with a laugh, before snorting in amusement, "Angry outburst, brute force, vastly different." She teased, relaxing in his company, smiling softly, "Personally, I'm glad that idiot filly had no idea what she was passing up. All the luck for me." She stated quietly. She might wish to erase his pain from those events . . . But she was so glad that it ended up in her favor.
But it did seem miraculous this was happening now.
When he spoke again, she sat up a little, looking at him, when he suggested it would have been harder then, from their own pains, their own struggle to move on from their pasts. "Perhaps now was the perfect time. We've had a chance to help each other heal, and it gives us the chance of having a stable ground to go up front. There's no awkwardness of getting to know each other, because we already are so interconnected." She said thoughtfully, before she gently draped her muzzle over his back, hugging him to her, "When we argued . . . I was angry, but more than anything, I was afraid. I was so afraid you'd come to say good bye. So afraid I'd never see you again." She agreed, breathing in his scent, "I'm glad it all happened that way, because it meant you and I could finally come to terms with things we were burying deep down. You said words I needed to hear . . . I had to admit that I've been ignoring what I was feeling for so long."
She lifted her muzzle, pressing it to his.
"It might not have been a perfect moment, sweet and tear jerking, but that's not who we are. We're stubborn, we're determined, and so of course us coming together would need to be a story to reflect that." She teased, eyes soft, laughing. The next words slid free before she could even realize what she was saying, "It'll be a story to tell our children, of momma almost killing daddy with ice before he could get her to listen to a love admission." She froze, as the words left her, feeling her features heat up, startled, "Er, I mean . . . " She winced, burying her muzzle back into his mane, "Was that too soon, to make a joke like that?" She grumbled gently. They were already coparenting Jiri to a level . . . but that had reminded her just how real this was again.
The knowledge of Jiri's fondness for her made her smile.
To know that Jiri adored her too, that she was just as precious to the foal, as the foal was to her. She relaxed again, smiling softly with just his presence, feeling the settled warmth, the sense of comfort. "You know . . ." She stated after a quiet moment, eyes half closing as she returned her muzzle to his limb, happy to just relax, "I think . . ." Her muzzle turned up, to a soft smile, suddenly feeling very sure of where they were going, she'd probably none it for a while now, even, "I love you too." She said quietly, still not looking up at him, but her smile soft, "I might not be in love, just yet . . . But . . . I do love you . . . ." And she was already starting to fall.
The anxiety and unease had melted away, leaving just the pair discussing things like old times. Or at least, similar to them. There was emotions that he had not allowed himself to feel before, thoughts and wishes that were finally feeling possible in his world. Her comment had him pausing. "I can agree to an extent. I am thankful that I left, that I was able to find you. I do regret what I did though. It was unfair to her and cruel. It is the stallion I never want to become again." He answered, letting the close touch of the aquatic mare soothe the pain left over from his past.
They were so intertwined that it was hard to tell exactly how they were laying. And Sol loved it. This was the closest to heaven that the large stallion had ever reached. "I thought you were pushing me away. That you were so angry with me that you no longer wanted me to be in your life. That thought nearly destroyed me." Sol admitted, nuzzling the mare again. While not the romance he had expected to find, this was so much better. They had been friends for years at this point... and now it was so natural to be close to her. The awkwardness that came with getting to know someone new was not there. They had gotten through it all already. That alone made it so much easier to understand and grow in this new relationship.
Sol grinned as she spoke, his heart leaping at the comment about their children. "They will just realize that momma is the stronger one. Regardless of how protective and stubborn daddy is." He answered, teasing her to show that he loved her thoughts. "Bel... We have been figuring us out for years... I think anything is in perfect timing at this point." He let her figure out what she wanted to think of it, waiting and pressing gentle kisses to her form.
The words made him freeze, the stallion staring at her as he wrapped his head around what the mare said. It was probably a good thing they were not directly on the edge of the cliff... and that he had wings. Sol felt like his heart was in a free fall, his body feeling detached. There was a part of him that wanted to crow her announcement to the world, yet another that was wondering if he was dreaming. "Bel..." He started, unsure of what to say and terrified of messing it all up in a way he hadnt been yet. "Those words give me hope for us. Hope for dawn to come and that I will not have dreamed this all. My heart belongs to you, completely." He murmured, resting his muzzle on her shoulder as he wrapped his head around the events that had transpired between them lately.
it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
She gently nuzzled him, offering her understanding.
"While, it is true that what you did is regretful, it was cruel, you're not that stallion anymore." She told him, pressing her forehead to his, snorting lightly, "You are so much more than just what your past defines you as. You're a devote follower to Oriens. You're the most amazing father to Jiri. You're my best friend." Her muzzle brushed his, pressing against him gently, "My best friend, and so much more. Those are the things you are now. Not the reckless fool of a colt who thought he was bigger than the world." She pulled back and gently grabbed a stand of his forelock, tugging on it playfully, "And frankly, I'm kinda crazy about the stallion you are now." She added gently.
His admittance had her sighing softly.
"I would never push you away. Never willingly choose for you to not be in my life, silly Sol." She smiled at how relaxed they were now, how easy this was, how easy it was to get here, "Not when you mean so much already." She added, before listening to his words about her 'their children' slip up. She smiled gently, feeling her heart continue to swell for this thoughtful stallion, "I guess it's less about 'perfect timing' as much as it is just natural" She agreed, his touch, the soft kisses relaxing her, soothing her. She knew the moment he heard her admission though.
His freezing was clear of that.
She cracked open an eye, a playful smile on her muzzle as she watched him, heard him breath her name. His words were soothing, but not near as smoothing as his head dropping to her shoulder settling her heart so easily, "We'll just keep taking it one day at a time." She agreed, relaxing against him, her breath leaving her in a content sigh, "How much longer does your baby sitter have Jiri for?" She asked after a moment, knowing they'd been alone for a while now, and while she didn't want to remove herself from the warmth, the comfort of their entangled limbs, she knew before long they'd have to return back to the real world again.
Somehow Bel knew exactly what to say to make him feel that much better. "It seems that the sins of the past only prove to be knowledge for the future. Without my past, I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet you. You are the only one that has been able to hear my past and not run away screaming." He laughed, remembering those past times of trying to talk to someone. "The stallion I am now no longer has a heart of his own. It belongs to you, completely. I didn’t realize how someone could feel like this. Love was never something that was in my world. But I am grateful it is now. I am grateful for you, Bel." He murmured, loving the moment of just the two of them.
She wanted him in her life. That knowledge alone eased the rest of his fears. If he knew that, then he could face whatever was coming to the pair. "I have never had a real family, not like the ones I have seen. My father and mother were not in love. My herd was all about power. I will always cherish this, us. You, me, and Jiri… And any others that come along as time goes by." He murmured, continuing to press kisses to her flesh.
"One day at a time." Sol vowed, letting his head rest on her back for a moment before he registered her question. Lifting his gaze, he looked at the day around them. "While I would love to stay here forever, I am pretty sure I should think about heading back. Jiri is a handful on a good day and she was a bit crabby this morning." He laughed softly, reluctant to move from where he had Bel pressed against him. There was still a surreal air around this whole day, this date. He found that he didn’t want it to end.
it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
It was easy, so easy. Just being with him.
It was like breathing, or swimming, or navigating the open ocean. Something she could do with her eyes closed, half asleep, in the middle of the night. It was just leading of her heart, a casual knowledge that told her when to say what, when to do what. As natural as breathing. It was this very ease that had made it so difficult to realize this could be so much more. She had also gotten so good at not looking deeper into it. TO not see that connection, to not be aware of what he meant to her, what this meant to her. What being so naturally easy to be together could amount to. She was blinded by how nice it was, that she forgot to see how perfect it could be with just that next push.
Her gaze was warm as she cuddled into him.
She'd never be able to express in words how glad she was that she had him now, that he had made her see, that he'd been patient enough to let her realize, to give her the strength to let herself try. He might not know it, but it had always been he, himself; that made her take those steps. He gave her, her strength. So perhaps that's why she shook her head at his words, her smile gently as she pressed her face into his neck, snorting softly, as she leaned into his warmth, "Don't be stupid, Sol. The sins of your past have never defined you. You worked so hard to move past that. You, yourself, proved that you deserve a future, a brighter one." She relaxed into that very warmth that could seemingly remove all of her tension. "Guess I could just see something in you no one else could . . . ." She murmured softly, eyes closing as she snuggled up to him, "Better for me." She added a slightly cheeky grin.
She tilted her head, glancing up when he spoke again.
Both sets of her eyes watched him, feeling her own heart skip a beat or two, that fluttering of butterflies coming alive in her stomach. She smiled so softly, so warmly as she looked up at him, "I don't think I ever realized this is what this was like either . . ." She admitted, relaxing against him as her eyes slid shut, the casual demonstration of trust in him that allowed her to relax so fully, "With Shard," The words came easier this time, no halting at his name, no stuttering, no pained expression, "it felt like I was always second. He would make the most stupid excuses. The council wanted him to check the south side of the pod, He had a meeting with the council that ran late. He was Triton, and I should just accept that protecting the pod was important." She sighed, a shake of her head, "I'd assumed that courtship, that relationships were just meant to be lonely . . . I hate it. Waiting in bed by myself, wondering if he'd come home any time soon, before giving up and falling asleep in the kelp by myself. He was always gone before I woke up too."
Her eyes opened, her muzzle reaching up to Sol's, nuzzling his jaw.
"This, this between us; it's so much more real than that. It's like being a pup again, chasing seahorses through the coral. Light, carefree, easy . . . Being with you is just easy. And that's a treasure worth more than all the gold in the oceans." She would never be able to express in words how grateful she was for him too. He was rejuvenating her, day by day, date by date; he was proving this decision was a good one. He was proving that this was what she wanted, the right decision to make. Calling him to the cliff today, to tell him yes . . . To tell him they could try . . it was the best idea she'd had yet.
Novus was healing the wounds of her pod, surely.
Coming to this land had given her so much. Terrastella was her pod now, a family with members she cared for so deeply. From Liam, who had stepped up to Sovereign, who was breathing new life into the Courts. Then Pol, being alive, being here; so close she could reach out and touch her, she could embrace her, mend ties. And now, it had given her Sol . . . and the little filly he came with as a two-part package. She couldn't help it, the smile his words caused, even as she glanced up at him, at the casual acknowledgment that he already viewed them, the three of them; as a family. Family. Her heart contracted, falling just a little more. He always could paint things so wonderfully.
Of course, all days come to an end.
At her question, he finally seemed to take stock of how long they'd been together, and she had to laugh at his reluctance, even when he admitted that Jiri would need to be attended to shortly. She brushed her muzzle through his mane, the touch gentle, the same motion of reassurance she'd have used to pet down a fin on one of her own people before she pulled herself to her feet, "Up, you silly stallion. We have lifetimes ahead of us. But Jiri needs you now." She briefly pressed her forehead to his one last time, her eyes closing, breathing in the scent that was all him, the scent that clung to her after spending so much time pressed into his side. "I have plans tomorrow." She started, as she pulled away, gaze soft, warm, "But perhaps soon, we can take Jiri to the beach?" She offered with a warm grin, even as Yuki used her fluke to crawl up to her spine, "Let me know your availability?" She suggested, already feeling the pang in her heart about leaving, surprised by how hard it was now to walk away, to say goodbye.
But, Jiri needed him too.
And she needed to get Yuki back to the swamp, and she'd need to wind down her day as well, for her early start the next, while she went through her training as a battlemage. "I'll see you again before you know it." She promised, her grin playful, teasing before she repeated those words she'd only just been able to say, "Love you." And she pressed her cheek to his one last time, before turning to head home, since she knew it'd be easier for her to leave, than for him. And, if she was honest, the admission still embarrassed her enough to feel like a silly little foal.
"Bel" Yukime
@Sol Bestiam Notes:: Doing a closer now <3 haha. Might be a bit before we can do another thread. I wanna keep my thread count low for a little bit, as I come up on midterms and Kim's wedding the next few weeks <3
![[Image: i-jTNwWx8.png]](https://photos.smugmug.com/BelowZeroNovus/n-X9d9fZ/i-jTNwWx8/1/e09fb6c3/O/i-jTNwWx8.png)
