Pol had woke that morning with thoughts rolling through her head. She was so happy for her mentor, was still reeling over meeting Lu's son. She had been working near constantly and learning more healing as she went. The young mare seemed to be on the go all day every day lately. But Lu had told her to take the day off. To rest. What was rest even?
Slipping from her covers, Pol stretched and shook away the last bits of drowsiness. A quick cup of coffee jolted her fully awake and she frowned at the room around her. She had never put down real roots, renting a room and spending more time in the clinic than anywhere. Maybe that was why she was uneasy. Things were changing. Would she still have a place at the clinic once things were said and done? The idea of losing her mentor and her clinic, the learning and friendship that seemed to be more like that of a mother and daughter. That idea alone made her blood run cold.
The mare escaped her room, moving quickly into a gallop to try to run away from the thoughts that were plaguing her. She wasnt sure where she was going, just needed a day away from the Night court. Away from her fears. Alternating trotting and galloping, the mare made good time as she headed to where she had heard that her sister was staying. She needed her sister, her family. Her pod, for what it was worth.
Dancing into the swamp, she stopped and took a bit to catch her breath and compose herself. The run had helped, but the fears and thoughts were still whispering in her mind. Heading deeper, she began to seek out Bel. "Bella?" She called as she moved, aware and listening for danger as well as a response from the older treader.
sister, i hear you laugh, my heart fills full of love
keep me please, sister, when you cry
i feel your tears, running down my face
The mare was half asleep.
Her eyes were closed, as she rested, the ice and frozen statues around showing the reasoning behind the exhaustion, as she took a quick nap to help catch up on her energy. Of course, it was moments like this that seemed to be when she would get visitors. Her finned ears flicked, and her eyes half opened, hearing the slight sound. She yawned as she uncurled from her slipping place at the bank of the swamp. Moving to stand however had a firm, clawed paw on her shoulder, "Peace, Yuki. I'll be fine. Not like she knows you, so I can't have you bring her here." She teased, sleepily, allowing her companion to curl up around her neck, hugging her slightly.
Bel stretched again, biting back another yawn.
She moved slowly, legs feeling like lead, but the feeling came with the knowledge she was continuing to grow, to have mastery over her magic, to feel that power at her command. Even now, Her companion was telling her about how, once she had full mastery, felt comfortable, she'd find her next magic growing, the final piece to connect it all together, to let her be the tempest her people once focused their goals on. Back before they grew weak, before they forgot who they were. It made sense, looking back at it now, how the oldest of the elders stared with such contempt at the younger ones. It also made more sense why that one mare, the one who spoke so strongly of the stories had urged her to leave, to find herself. THe memory had her pause briefly.
The words came back, but this time, she understood so much more.
"The Empress will guide you in life, you're worth so much more than this little pod can offer you, young Bel. You are what we came from, a tempest of the sea, if only you can find those connections again. It might have died in the hearts of the others, but those of us from the old days, from those final times at home. We see you. We believe in you."
At the time she didn't know what that meant.
She didn't believe in The Empress back then, her people didn't speak of it. That came from Yuki, and yet that elderly mare, who glowed so steadily at her old age, when others would begin to fade; she spoke of the Empress, so revently. She was the reason that Bel had gone her own way, and it was the right decision to made. It made her who she was today, so closely connected to The Empress, she had heard her voice. Had wept with tears at the praise. That knowledge aided in her strength as she approached her sister, "Pol?"
Her heart was still racing, her eyes wide as she took in the swamp around her. This seemed like the perfect place for her sister, but yet so foreign to her. There was an air of terror that tried to wrap around the young medic’s heart, her glow spiking as she moved. Not that it was dark enough to truly see it. Pausing in a clear spot, she tried to relax, to let her anxiety drop to manageable levels.
Then she heard the voice. The voice that meant so much to the young mare. "Bella!" She exclaimed, moving toward the voice and seeking the familiar face. When she finally saw the elder threader, she let loose a breath and felt some of the tension ebb finally.
"I am so happy to see you. Though you do seem more tired than usual." She frowned, watching the other mare as she approached. There was a pause as the medic glanced over the mare and wondered. "Are you alright?" She asked, stepping closer.
Then her brain went back into over drive and she flopped on the ground in frustration. "Oh Bella! I am so worried. I can’t even stop the thoughts…" She muttered, closing her lavender eyes and trying to contain the fear.
sister, i hear you laugh, my heart fills full of love
keep me please, sister, when you cry
i feel your tears, running down my face
The mare felt sluggish.
It wasn't unusual, in fact was quite common after a grueling lesson with her companion. But today it was more noticeable as she was forced to her feet, following the shout of her name. The exhausted side that wanted to sleep was annoyed, but the dominant side was confused as to why her sister was here.
Pol had thrown herself into her healers lessons.
She should be learning under another's tutelage, not hunting through the swamp sounding so desperate. Her sister's greeting but concern drew a tired laugh from her. "I am fine. I used a lot of my magic, and energy during training today is all." She assured, even as she forced herself to keep from yawning.
But something did seem wrong with Pol.
For an instant, Bel wished their mother was there, with her soft voice and gentle touch that could solve any problem. Bel hadn't had time to learn that trick just yet. So as Pol dropped to the floor, her words tumbling, Bel felt a little lost, a little unsure how to respond. Had it been Jiri, she'd have drawn the child close. Sol would just need a stern talking to and a reminder she was there. But where in the middle of those two actions did Pol fall?
It was a lot to ask of her awake.
Half asleep and slowly gathering her awareness she worried making the wrong response. Still she touched her sister's shoulder before asking gently, "what has you so troubled. Perhaps speaking of it will ease your thoughts?"
"Bel" Yukime
@Polar North Notes:: Bel is just not sure what to do.
Pol took in the other mare’s features and a pang of guilt swamped her heart. "Oh… I am so sorry! I didn’t realize that I was intruding…" Pol exclaimed, fussing over not writing ahead. Yes, Bel was her older sister, but she had a life of her own to live. She couldn’t be expected to be available at all times for trivial worries. Her sister was not expected to be her mother, a warm being there for the littlest advice.
The touch calmed the younger mare, and she looked up at Bel. "It is probably stupid…" She started, closing her eyes and dropping her head to the moist soil. "My mentor is amazing. She reminds me of mama… or at least what I remember of her. And I want her to be happy. But I am afraid. I am afraid of losing her. Losing her like I lost mama and made you lose her." She breathed, sorrow overwhelming the healer. "She and Isra are happy and amazing… but what if she doesn’t need my help? If she doesn’t want me anymore? I try my best, but what if my best isn’t enough?" The young mare paused, tears leaking from her clenched eyelids.
A few moments of silence lapsed as Pol tried to regain her composure. "I also met a stallion that turned out to be Lu’s son. She was immortal once… Now I worry about her health more. I am afraid to tell her I met Liatris, what if it is too much for her? I have been living in an Inn… If Lu decides that she no longer wants me… Where will I go?" Pol went silent again, her muzzle closed and resting on her knee. This was a lot to unload, chaotic and jumbled as her brain tried to sort through it all. A part of the healer wouldn’t be surprised if Bel told her to figure it out herself… Not that she had any faith that she could.
sister, i hear you laugh, my heart fills full of love
keep me please, sister, when you cry
i feel your tears, running down my face
The alien laughed, shaking her head gently.
"No, you're alright. Not intruding. I've already done practicing anyway, and I don't really need to nap to gain the energy back, it just earns it back faster. It's alright, truly." Of course, there was also the part of her that wondered would there be a time when her sister came in would be a moment of intruding. When she had her own family? When it wasn't just her she'd be watching for. Briefly, the thought of Sol and Jiri hit her heart hard, and that thought was just as quickly followed of what it might really be like, to have a relationship with the tall, black and gold stallion.
Their own foals. Their own family.
No. No. No. No. No. She didn't need to think about that. She was only just becoming used to being with him, to this courtship really happening. That he was really interested in pursuing a future. She didn't need to plan their lives yet . . . but even she couldn't deny the feeling of warmth in her chest at the idea. Instead, she focused on her sister, on whatever was going on, whatever she could do to help. Her words had the older mare snorting softly, "I've learned whenever we think something is stupid, it's usually when it's the most important." She'd thought her imagining that Sol could be interested in her was stupid, her own foolish crush so long ago had been stupid. The only thing that had turned out to be stupid was her own denial.
When Pol began to speak about her mentor, Bel felt her heart clench.
She couldn't blame the younger mare. Polar didn't remember mother much, so of course, she'd want someone to take that role, to be a mother to her. It was only natural. But when she spoke of worrying about losing her, Bel had to gently laugh, shaking her head. "Be still. Just because your mentor has found someone who makes them happy, doesn't mean they'll forget everyone else. We don't live our lives for a single individual, but for all the relationships we make. She might be happy, but she'll NEVER not want you. Because your relationship with her is as special and unique as you, yourself are. We all have our own places in each other's hearts, and we are the only ones that can fill those holes."
Bel smiled, before nuzzling her sister.
"Don't try too hard, just continue to be yourself, and you'll be fine, Polly." The nickname slipped out before Bel could stop it, and she felt her own heart clenched briefly as she found herself repeating the same assurances her mother had given the foal when Polar was sooo little, sooo long ago. Don't be afraid of the deep, you'll be fine, Polly. Those are just penguins, you're fine, Polly. I know you were alarmed and feeling lost, but we're here now; and you'll be just fine, Polly. Bel shook her head, instead of diving her thoughts into the knowledge of what the mare was saying about what she had learned about her mentor.
Her muzzle let out a tiny, soft sigh.
"We cannot protect others from themselves. Only they, themselves, can decide what is too much for them. It's like trying to keep the tide from touching the beach, eventually, it'll come crashing down. Instead of trying to fight the currents, be there for her when you tell her. If you spend too much time worrying, you'll never give yourself time to live." Wasn't that part of her reason for accepting the Courtship for Sol? Being anxious and worrying about it hadn't done her any good. Only by seeing where it could go, could they truly see if it was meant to be. And since she stopped worrying about that . . . she'd found their relationship almost back to normal, but a better normal. A version of their own normal that was filled with warmth, and soft touches. Of private looks, and the promise of things to come.
It stirred her heart and made her feel alive again.
Bel sank to the ground, and she used her tail to pull her sister into her side, hugging her as tightly as she could, and knowing she really couldn't offer any more help, she decided to try a different method of assistance: distraction,"So, Sol and I are courting." She stated, the words rather casual, as if she hadn't been denying the relationship between her and her large guardian for so, so long. "I figured you might be interested in knowing that." Even as she said it, she couldn't stop the small smile that touched her muzzle as she said it out loud. That they were courting, they were together. "But if I hear even the snippet of an 'I told you so,' from you, I'll be forced to tickle you until you go crazy from giggling." If nothing else, maybe she could get her sister to laugh, maybe?
Pol nodded slowly, her eyes taking in the elder mare with a healer’s gaze. "You have gotten incredibly strong since receiving your magic. In ways that are hard to define." She remarked, her thoughts trailing to her past and questions about the pod that she had never asked.
Pol snorted softly. "Isn’t that the truth." She laughed softly before continuing. "Did the pod even have healers? I dont remember much from the time with them." The thought had been weighing on her more and more as she tried to learn more about who she was. About where she came from.
When Bel started to reassure her, the tears escaped the strangle hold that Pol had been keeping. She pressed closer, relishing the warmth as she listened. "Do you think mama would be proud of us? You are a powerful battlemage… I am a healer in training… Not as impressive, I know… but at least a direction to work on." She asked softly, her face pressed to the elder mare’s shoulder.
The nick name caught her attention and she looked up. "Polly?" She asked, flicking her ruined fluke. "That seems… familiar… but I dont remember you ever saying it…" She frowned before listening to her sister continue. Rather than speak, she let Bel pull her close and took the time to breathe in her familiar scent.
Pol paused and lifted her head, eyes amused as she gazed at her sister… "Wait… Sol… Isn’t that the stallion that was with you at the candles? You know… the one you said was like your brother and tried to break his heart without thought?" She snorted and shook her head. ”I think I am more surprised that it took you as long as it did to admit it." Pol teased with a laugh.
sister, i hear you laugh, my heart fills full of love
keep me please, sister, when you cry
i feel your tears, running down my face
Bel was enjoying the time with her sister.
Sure, she was tired, wanted a nap, but . . . time with Pol was rare. Fragile. Fleeting. She smiles faintly at her sister's remarks on her magic, her tail swishing through the reeds of the swamp with a small, but pleased smile, "I've been training hard, determined to master it. I am grateful for all the help and assistance that Yuki has been offering me as well." She mused, before tilting her head in surprise at her sister's question.
For a brief moment, Bel's gaze shutters closed.
It's like a cautious mask, as she thinks how to answer, "No . . . the pod didn't have much in the way of healers. The pod . . . was wrong in many of their beliefs, they'd lost there way long ago . . . but they had a horrid belief of any sort of illness being a weakness, and such weakness needing to be cast out." It's why they had abandoned Pol. It's why Bel had abandoned the pod. "They believe only the strong can survive, and for the betterment of the pod, anyone who could present a weakness to be cast out."
It hurt her heart to see how her people had strayed from their paths.
"It's not the way that The Empress wanted us to be. Not the life, the meaning we were crafted for." There was a pause, a very long one, as she turned to her sister, "But . . . originally, Treaders had all sorts of types. Mages, and Healers, Scholars and Protectors. Fighters, and Lovers. We were a powerful, strong and loyal people." Bel's gaze raises to the skies, almost imagining she's looking upon their homeworld, of the powerful force that ruled that land, "One day, I hope we'll be like that once more." Proud of what the pod was capable of.
But she was not expecting her sister to fall apart. The tears fell down her sister's cheeks. She laughs gently at her sister's question, "Mama wouldn't care if you were a healer or pond scum. As long as we live life happily, and fully; that was all mama needed to be happy, and proud of us. She'd be so proud of everything you had accomplished." Her sister questioned the nickname, but Bel had frozen when she'd used it, her muzzle opening and closing a few times, "Mama . . . used to call you that." She admitted after a long, long moment.
And then, she offered a distraction at her own expense.
She wrinkled her nose as her sister made the collections, wincing at the reminder of what she'd said so long ago - unaware of how he had actually felt, how she'd broken him with those words, "I didn't know how he felt then!" She retorted, embarrassed, "I had thought we were just friends, close friends . . ." Her smile softens, crinkling gently around her dual eyes, "I'm glad we're so much more now though."
"Bel" Yukime
@Polar North Notes:: Really awkward, struggle of a writing. Haha. Sorry.
Pol found herself beaming at the words from her sister. She was so incredibly proud of the warrior that Bel had become, though the younger mare had no idea how to say it without sounding like a total sap. "Sounds like Yuki has been a boon in more ways than I thought. I am so glad that you have her." She smiled as she dipped her head. There was a rightness to the time with her sister, something that she was so happy to have now when she didnt for most of her young life.
Pol nodded softly, fighting to keep the tears from her eyes. "I... I wish that I had been stronger. That I had been able to not get hurt. To keep mama from dying. That was my fault. I should have been more careful." She whispered, her eyes closed tightly as she tried to control the guilt that threatened to swamp her. If it hadnt been for her, so many things would be different.
The new words from her sister caught her attention and made her furrow her brow as she gazed at her. "The empress?" She murmured, trying to remember hearing that name before. There were flickers, memories trying to help from before she was old enough to truly remember. "None of that sounds like his pod... " She remarked dryly, not even wanting to utter the name that threatened to bring her to rage.
Pressing to Bel's shoulder, she tried to wrap her head around it. "Do you really think she would be proud? That I am enough to be proud of? It feels like it has been such a crazy chaotic mess that I dont even know what to think of anything anymore." She murmured, letting her focus shift to the soft words. "I miss her... I barely remember her, but there is still that longing in my heart for her."
Pol snorted, shaking her head. "I guess when people say that love is blind, they arent kidding. I could have told you his feelings right there and then. He protected you, draping his wing over you to give you comfort. He was there on a rough night without just walking away as we... spoke... Yes, you were friends. Much closer than many... but there was a special light in his eyes with you." She laughed, pressing her muzzle to Bel's shoulder. "I am so happy for you. I really am. Love should be something special and celebrated."
sister, i hear you laugh, my heart fills full of love
keep me please, sister, when you cry
i feel your tears, running down my face
It was in these rare moments that Bel was lost.
She tried the best she could, to be a sister, but down in the core, it was unfamiliar. She had a handful of months, less than three; with her sister before they parted ways until just recently. And while her heart warmed that her sister would want to search her out when she was uncertain, or confused, there was very little that Bel had experience with, when it came to handling these issues. Especially since their mother had passed before Bel was really old enough to start asking some of these questions. And growing up in the pod, Bel already had an idea of what was expected and what was not.
She wouldn't tell Pol the pod would have shunned her interest in medicine.
That their mother would have been supportive, but wouldn't have understood, had likely thought it a phase Pol would humor herself with. That the magic that sung to the sisters in every part of Novus was a foreign, and fantastical idea to the pod that had no room to be part of their cut throat lifestyle. Bel would have been embraced for the warrior's avenue. Pol would have been ostracized for wanting to dabble in something the pod 'didn't have time for.'
Bel wouldn't tell Pol this. She couldn't.
So instead she hid these thoughts away, content to not worsen Pol's opinion on a Pod that had strayed from their focus, "I am lucky to have Yuki. She's a blessing, if troublesome." The flip of a fin had water spraying Bel in retaliation, causing the older Treader to laugh in amusement, "See, troublesome." But then her sister started to tear up, and again, Bel felt like she was being pulled out of her element.
If it was Jiri, she'd have shushed the tears away.
But Pol wasn't a foal who needed soothed. She was a mare who had real issues . . . real upsets, and Bel didn't know what to say or how to handle them. How to reassure, how to do any of this. "Pol, hush, stop. There was NOTHING you could have done. You were just a pup! And momma knew the risks. I know you don't remember much, but mama didn't die because of you. She died for you! It was never your fault, it was her choice to make, as a mother. The same one I'd make in a heartbeat for Jiri. You were just a little pup, stayed close to mama's side like you were supposed to. You did nothing wrong. That's just the way of the world some times."
Nature had a balance, and in the artic . . it was eat or be eaten.
Then the younger Treader repeated the name of the giver of everything Bel had been learning, and earning. A slow smile stretched upon her muzzle, "The Sea Empress . . . is from the world were our species came from. We were her chosen guardians. I wouldn't really call her a 'deity' but she is close to that. A powerful giver of the life of the planet . . . She's gifted me with my magic." And so, so much more. "Yes, the pod has lost it's ways . . . it is unfortunate . . . but it is their own disaster to weild." And Bel would let them reap the mess they had sowed.
As far as she was concerned, she owed the pod nothing.
Bel sighed at her sister's repeated question, "That's the thing about mothers. No matter what, they're always proud of us. It's . . . engrained."" She murmured, before knocking her shoulder against her sisters, "So stop worrying. And just be proud of what you're accomplishing already." She choose not to address the fact Pol missed their mother . . . because Bel understood, and knew that Pol knew she would understand. Bel missed her too.
Of course at the mention of a different distraction, Bel snorted.
"Well, not all of us can just know what another is feeling! I'd only experienced love once before, and it certainly wasn't like that." She muttered shyly before shrugging, and smiling warmly at the thought of the stallion, "But we were both foolish for not thinking to just discuss what we were feeling instead of burying it. If you ever start to feel like that with another. Don't hesitate. Talk to them. Or you may end up like me and waste two years of your life skirting around your own feelings."
"Bel" Yukime
@Polar North Notes:: Thinking this one might be coming to an end, it is starting to feel like it's wrapping up, and poor Bel is struggling to figure out how to help her sister haha.
![[Image: i-jTNwWx8.png]](https://photos.smugmug.com/BelowZeroNovus/n-X9d9fZ/i-jTNwWx8/1/e09fb6c3/O/i-jTNwWx8.png)
