Pol sighed as she gazed around her. This was insane. Why would her sister want to see her? They had been so angry and hurt, so emotional at their last meeting. Heck, Pol wasnt sure if she was ready to face her beloved big sister yet. The young mare pinned her ears and shut her eyes, leaning against a wall so that she was out of the way as she fought through the anxiety that gripped her. Her destroyed tail was tucked around her legs and she was panting softly at the emotional overload that was sweeping through her.
The last meeting... well and first technically... had gone as she had expected. Bel had gone from being horrified at the sight of her to defensive and emotional, while Pol had been stuck purely in an emotional whirlwind. Hopefully that big brute was nowhere to be seen. The younger Treader wasnt sure she could handle the judgement that had been in those golden eyes.
Sucking in deep breaths, Pol struggled through the fear and worry. After a solid five minutes of panic, she found herself able to open her lavender eyes and see the court around her. She had been heading to the hospital, wanting to speak to the medics there about more formal training. The moment she stepped into the court, she had remembered that this was the area where her sister called home. At first, the younger mare had walked through, curious to see the equines that called this court home. And partially curious as to if she would see her sister. Then she wanted to see Bel. And then came the panic attack.
Stepping from the shadows, she continued into the court, asking about her sister here and there with no success. Pol found herself stopping out of the way and gazing about her once again. "Bella?" Her voice was a breath on the wind, no force behind it. She was beginning to feel incredibly stupid for even trying, though at the same time she was afraid to give up.
I don't care what they're going to say, let the storm rage on the cold never bothered me anyway
It was a subtle scent on the air, one that used to echo the ice, steam and chill of her people. Now a days, that scent was as sharp as a shark tooth to Bel's heart. As familiar as it was, it no longer smelled of the little sister she lost. The ice and chill had faded, just as her own sister had once faded from her life for those many years. But as that scent was carried on a sea breeze, Bel blinked in surprise. Even now a part of her didn't think it was real- struggled to believe her sister had really come to search her out. Their last meeting had been hard, and Bel couldn't help but be nervous for another.
A clicking of ice tips meeting had Bel's gaze turn back to the beast on her back, the reminder the old stories where really, of how her people came from beyond the stars. Dual eyes of dark blue stared unblinking, reassuring and Bel smiled, nodding to the serpent before she turned to follow the scent. She found her sister in a state of disarray.
With a steadying breath, Bel approached, her ears picking up her sister's quiet cry, the sound carried through the water, humidity in the air, caught by ears designedbto filter that sound. "I'm here. Bel spoke softly, from behind her sibling, her eyes locked on her little sister, "I didn't think you would come." She admitted, quietly, offering a nervous smile, "I am glad you did"
The words came from behind her, but there was a soothing quality to them as her sister answered. Turning to face her, Pol dropped her head slightly and gazed up at the older Treader. It seemed that Bel was as nervous about this meeting as she was, and that tugged at her heart. Smiling hesitantly, she took a step closer. The creature on her sister's back was unusual, a creature that she had never seen before. Pol flicked an ear and tilted her head slightly.
"I wasnt sure myself... Our last meeting was a bit overwhelming to say the least. But I still missed you and wanted to see you. I see you have a new friend... and your massive mate is no where to be found..." She remarked, raising her head to comfortable levels and relaxing. There was no need to turn this meeting into the drama fest that the last had been. All it would accomplish would be to make both miserable again.
"What have you been up to?" Pol asked innocently, wanting to figure out how to start a conversation when she barely remembered the blue hued mare before her. Someday, she hoped that the two mares could be close again. But she also knew that she needed to start somewhere to try to build that relationship again. If Bel wanted to, that was.
"Speaking"
@Below Zero Notes: less drama more awkward XD
I don't care what they're going to say, let the storm rage on the cold never bothered me anyway
The older treader watched as her sister turned, her head dropping, their eyes meeting. The smile - hesitant but there non the less - helped reassure the older sister, even as Pol stepped closer, her eyes on Yuki, causing Bel to smile faintly, "This is Yukime, she's an Ice Carved Serpent . . . She's . . . uhm . . . " She paused for a moment, hesitating for a moment, "Polar . . the, the stories from when we were little, of our people coming from another planet . . . they were true . . . Yukime . . she comes from there too . . ." She explained as Yukime raised her head, dipping it in greeting.
Bel's gaze lowered slightly at her sister's words, her expression twitching faintly, but nodding regardless, "Yes, our . . . last meeting was a bit . . . difficult." She admitted, before her eyes widened at Pol's words of missing her, of wanting to see her. She smiled softly and this time, she took the steps forward, pressing her cheek against Pol's as her eyes closed with a sigh of relief, "I missed you too, Polar. More than I can ever say." She paused at her sisters words, tilting her head in confusion, "Mate? Sol isn't my mate. We're friends is all. I don't see him that way. I like him, sure, but . . . not like that." Her gaze cut away, awkward and uncertain at the admittance, knowing the last stallion to get close to that title had been the one who drove her sister (and then her) away.
She wasn't going to be the one to bring up Shard though. Her sister's words had Bel smiling faintly, "I like to explore the island. I've spent so much time in the ocean . . . It's interesting learning about this whole other world I didn't know about previously . . . " She paused, before smiling, and motioning towards a place where she and Pol could lay down in the shade to talk more comfortably, "Come, let's lay down, and I promise, I'll answer any questions you have - if you'll answer mine in return." She promised with a reassuring smile.
"Bel" Yukime
@Polar North Notes:: Well they are getting better at least. Finally, aye?
Pol watched her sister hesitate for a moment as she tried to explain her companion, before words that didnt really click rolled out of her mouth. "Um... I honestly dont remember. That was a long time ago and the events that followed really made it hard to remember where I came from, the pod and their history." Pol stated softly, feeling terrible now that she was saying the words aloud. She had spent so much time repressing her past, the pod that she had come from. The memory of the pain was enough to steer her far from those thoughts.
Difficult. That was the word that Bel chose. The simple word nearly sent her into a fit of hysterical laughter. As it was, she had to snort a few times to control the laughter long enough to formulate a word. "Yeah... I think we need to figure out how to be sisters as well as how to react to the pain of our past. I repressed much of the past, and it makes it hard to step forward from. I know that I spent much of my pup-hood trying to repress the memories, trying to move ahead with life without being anchored down by what happened before. I know... no excuse..." She was babbling a bit as she tried to understand the thoughts rolling through her head.
"Perhaps he is your friend, though I dont think that he thought that way when I saw you together. But that was a while ago and things do change." She laughed, shaking her head slightly as she was watching Bel and Yukime.
"You are brave. I am so afraid of the ocean that I rarely go near it. I tend to swim in lakes that are shark free." She snorted as she stepped closer and then followed her sister. There was a connection there, a desire to trust the older Treader even with their past and the traumatic events. No matter what, this was her sister... This was the one being that had nearly destroyed her in leaving. "I think I will be answering much more than asking. I dont even know what to ask, where to start..." She replied, dropping to the ground and waiting for Bel to join her.
I don't care what they're going to say, let the storm rage on the cold never bothered me anyway
There was still a lot of awkwardness between them. A feeling of discomfort that would ease as time passes. But Bel knew for now there was a lot of things that needed to be said between them before things would ease up. "Oh . . . I guess . . . that makes sense." Bel stated quietly, feeling horrible for bringing it up. This, this is where the difficulty was. This is where they were having issues. Bel had more knowledge of their people, their stories, and she had Yukime to fill in the gaps. . . . what did Pol have? And it was Bel's fault that she didn't have the chance to learn those.
She should have fought harder for her sister to stay with the Pod. Would things have been different if they had? Would they still be with the pod now? Would Bel have accepted Ice Shard? Be ruling the Pod as the entire collected had expected. Would Pol be mated and happy - comfortable and with out fear of the oceans? Bel did smile faintly at her sister's laughter, "We both have scars left over for what happened. I'm so sorry for the part I played in what happened. I should have tried harder . . . I was weak . . . Scared. And I should have been there for you." She had gone back for Pol, but by then Pol had already been rescued, and Bel thought her sister dead. SO much time lost. So much history missed out on. "But we'll get there. We're together now." Unspoken was a promise to not lose Pol again. She couldn't handle it if she did.
This time, she'd protect her sister.
She tilted her head at the mention of Sol, frowning softly as her eyes went wide, "Really? You think so?" She asked with wide eyes, reaching for her sister in desperation, "Oh, how should I fix that? Should I fix that? I adore Sol, don't get me wrong. But not like that! He's only a friend. My best friend yes, but nothing more! I hope I haven't encouraged that behavior!" She squeaked in worry, shaking her head quickly as if to rid herself of those thoughts.
She smiled sadly however, hearing her sister's fear of the oceans, "I guess I never had a reason to be afraid. You went through a traumatic experience with a shark . . . It's understandable to be afraid . . . but, uh, if you ever do want to go into the ocean . . . Yukime and I can take you . . . we'd be . . . happy to help you . . . If . . . if you ever want to . . . so, so just let me know?"
The idea of them getting to talk however was a relief, and when her sister admitting to not know where to start, Bel hesitated for but a moment, before she began to talk, "Momma used to call you little minnow . . . . anytime she said anything about you, she never used your name. I remember when she came running up to papa and I one morning, telling us all about how her little minnow had played in the shallows all by herself and swam after a fish for the first time." She stated quietly, her smile wistful but pained. "She was beautiful you know. A lot like you in color. You share her lavender hues. But she was darker than you were. And when it was dark out, momma glowed. She glowed this vibrant purple, so rich it looked like it was pulled from the colors that would streak across the night sky. And her eyes always sparkled. She wore her emotions on her fins, but she would always say they make her stronger." Her smile falter slightly, "Papa was so happy with her. We were all happy then . . . Losing Mama was hard on him . . . I doubt you remember the stories of how our people fall in love . . . but, it's like soulmates I believe. A true two bodies, one heart. Papa and Mama had been together since they were little . . . kinda . . . kinda like Shard and I . . . But when pushed to consider making it official, they didn't balk like I did. When Papa lost Mama, I think part of him broke. He never looked at me after that day. I don't think he was really there, with the Pod when you were abandoned, or when I left. He . . . he just wasn't . . . Wasn't the same. Like part of him had died with her . . . I can't blame him for what happened to our family. I looked into his eyes the day I left. He didn't even see me, Polar. I tried to say good bye, and he didn't realize I was there . . . ."
She shook her head, before forcing a smile, "Would you . . . would you like to hear those stories. The ones of where we come from? Where the Treaders came from? The planet we had to leave?" She offered, just for something, anything else to talk about, ignoring the fact her eyes were welled up with tears she refused to let fall.
"Bel" Yukime
@Polar North Notes:: Well they are getting better at least. Finally, aye?
Pol could see the unease when it was made clear that she didnt know any of their stories, the histories of the species. "Bella... It isnt your fault... not really. If anything I blame Ice Shard... He is the reason that I grew up on land rather than in the ocean with everyone else." She stated softly, unable to meet the eyes of her older sister.
Pol couldnt help the snort at the idea of scars. Moving her tail into view, she shook her head. "Some more physical than others..." She laughed dryly, glad that the temperature was working in her favor in terms of the lingering ache that was prone around said scars and trauma. "But really... I dont blame you. Not really... Not anymore. I think at first it was more pain and betrayal rather than blaming you. Even when I was alone on that ice... it wasnt you I blamed. It was Ice Shard and our father... You had no real choice. I understand that. I really do. We can only move forward. It doesnt help to continue to dwell on the chaos and trauma from our pasts." She said softly, nudging her sister's neck gently to try to help her feel better.
The squeaks in regards to the massive stallion nearly had Pol on the ground with laughter. "I cannot speak from sight now... It has been longer than I care to admit since that... meeting... I dont know that you encouraged it, just that he seemed to have a possessive edge to his protectiveness over you when we spoke. Perhaps it was something he needed to figure out himself. Or he was trying to see exactly where you two stood." She tried to help, to make her sister feel better. A part of her wanted to kick the stallion for being a blockhead. The idea of her mated to anyone, except the foggy idea of Ice Shard from when the pod thought that was the eventual mating... She couldnt picture any land loving horse winning Bel's heart.
The idea of the ocean, even with the company of Bella and her companion... It was terrifying. Enough so that it took everything that the younger mare had to not lock up and panic. "I dont think I am ready for it... Even the possibility of running into a shark is enough to trigger panic attacks. For now, I am perfectly content in the lakes where it is safer. I will keep your offer in mind though. Just dont expect it to be soon." She explained, carefully shutting down the flight response that was threatening to swamp her.
The words, the memories that she wished she had. All of the talk of her parents. It was all painful to hear. She hated that she didnt remember anything about them. Couldnt even remember her mother's pelt, the glow that Bel spoke of. She hadnt even made it half of a year with her pod, the shark attack happening when she was only 4 months old. Those days were murky, like trying to see through muddy water. From there, she was in shock until the day that she was left behind. The day that she was abandoned. Her most vivid memory was laying on that ice alone and shivering. The terror of being alone, the panic at the sight of circling dorsal fins. The moment when the nomads found her. But she couldnt even remember what her own mother looked like. "I have no experience with real love... just the minor crush that I had on Trey at one point. I couldnt imagine loving anyone that much. The idea of a father not caring about his pups..." She shook her head as she fumbled for words that would explain the pain and frustration that she was feeling.
"If Shard were to appear in Novus... What would you do? Everyone was so determined that you would end up mates... At least I think that is what I remember..." She spoke softly, her words almost musing as she offered the question to her sister. Pol wanted to know how Bella felt regarding him. If there were still feelings there. "Would you forgive him?" She asked, lavender eyes meeting the vivid blues of her elder sister.
"I would love to hear them... I feel like I dont know who I am really... " She answered her sister, smiling softly as she noticed the emotions welling in Bella's eyes. "Please dont feel bad. It wasnt your fault. We missed the chance when we were younger, but we still have each other and the chance to build up what we had lost." She said gently, pressing her muzzle to her sister's flesh to try to comfort her.
I don't care what they're going to say, let the storm rage on the cold never bothered me anyway
There was so much that her sister had missed out on, so much that she just . . . didn't know. So much Bel should have been there to teach her about, just as their mother had taught her - would have taught Pol . . . She offered a soft smile to her sister at the other's reassurances, and she sighed before pressing her muzzle against her little sister's neck, "I know I can't keep wearing blame like a second pelt, but I still wish . . . wish things had turned out differently. If I had the knowledge I did now, or if I knew that you could have been healed - it would have been different." She choice not to bring up Ice Shard, to not react to her sister's blame - see blamed him as well. He had forced her to leave her sister behind, what was more or less the only family she had left, when her own father barely made it through the day, in his blank state. Pol needed her, and Shard made her leave.
Sure, he'd apologized as they swam away, tried to reason his actions. She'd seen the guilt in his heart that he couldn't wear on his face. She remembered the brush of his muzzle against her cheek when he explained they'd tried all they knew, that Pol wasn't going to get better, wouldn't have been able to keep up, would have been picked off eventually. She didn't respond to any of his words, her heart heavy with sadness and shame. He gave her a little space, backing off verbally, but still being close enough to catch her should she fall apart. And even now, years later, she couldn't bring herself to hate him as others suggested. She could only blame him for what had happened.
Bel managed a faint laugh at her sister's quip, before that smile softened, saddened slightly, "I'd rather have you in my life with scars than not have you at all . . ." Bel admitted, pulling her sister close and hugging the younger Treader tightly. "I've blamed myself for long enough, for the both of us then. Always wondering if I could have done more, said something different to change the outcome of that day. But perhaps those actions were needed for your proper survival. We didn't have the medical knowledge to fix you . . . whoever found you did . . ." She sighed softly, "But, even so, perhaps if we had just waited a few more days, those very individuals would have come across the pod, and taught us just as much as they healed you . . . " Could begging off a few more days from Shard really been all that would have been needed to keep the pod together, her sister at her side . . . her at Shard's?
She quickly dampened that thought, burying it back under the currents of pain in her chest that protected those fondest memories with the bull, refusing to unlock that hurricane of emotion. "Yes, we'll move forward together, and we'll be stronger for it." Bel agreed, only for her sister's comments on Pol having her completely at odds with shock. Pol's laughter didn't help of course, and Bel huffed faintly, her eyes still a little wide in alarm, "Oh, I hope I haven't given him the wrong idea . . . I love him, but not near like that. He's like a big brother more than anything." Bel admitted with a shake of her head before smiling at her sister's words, "Sol is a troubled individual though . . . his past shrouded in pain and regret. He needs to learn to love himself before I can ever imagine him with another." Bel added with a sad shake of her head.
Bel smiled gently at her little sister, "Don't fret, Polar . . . It's okay. I understand. You had a horrible experience. At least it doesn't keep you from water . . . But keep it in mind. Besides, some sharks aren't scary, I bet you'd find the little Epaulette shark to be cute. It's maybe as large as half of my fin, tiny and precious." Bel admitted, thinking of the odd shark who could walk on land from tide pool to tide pool with its fins. "But until then, How about you show me around some of the lake depths here? I bet you've seen many neat things under the surface - I haven't really dived below the waters of the land yet."
Bel offered a soft, reassuring smile, wishing she could give her sister more than just words of what their mother and father were like. How they acted, how they were together. She didn't have much to go off of. It was painfully unfair. She had memories, stories, the lullaby her mother sang to them, all buried in her mind . . . and Pol had nothing but fear, panic, that horrid icy day. At her sister's words, Bel offered a faint smile, "It's hard to imagine that feeling, of what Treaders feel when they know they've found the right one." She admitted, not going into detail, not wanting to touch on something so outlawed in her own heart.
She froze at her sister's words when she brought up the very thing Bel worked so hard to ignore, her eyes meeting Bel's. Bel was frozen, panic, fear, pain swirling in her eyes before she broke the contact with Pol's. She didn't talk for a moment as she tried to control the maelstorm inside, "Shard . . . we . . . We were best friends, Polar. Grew up together, you know? But he had a destiny to rule the pod, as his father before him, and his father, and so on, had through the generations. He was destined to be the one to make choices, the good and the bad." She shook her head, drawing in a struggling breath, "Pol, what he did isn't something to just forgive. He destroyed me that day. Showed he would put the pod before me, that even when I had begged him to see reason, he wasn't willing to give me the few extra days with you. His council whispered in his ear, they plagued his decisions with their own wants and desires. Including their opinions on me."
Her gaze lowered, her heart heavy, "I fought that bonding not because I didn't love him, but because I didn't think I would be the one who could properly rule the pod by his side . . I knew I couldn't. Not when the pod's decisions were never the ones I considered. And the Council didn't appreciate my input either. I was 'too soft' they would say." Bel shook her head, her features twisting almost bitterly, "But I don't think about it now . . . After all, Shard put the pod first before. He wouldn't forsaken his title of Triton for me." Gathering those emotions up Bel shoved them deep down again, drowning them down where they couldn't touch her, couldn't effect her. The laughing, smiling face of Shard when they were younger, more carefree, and the position of Triton didn't draw the wedge between them.
Her sister's words were a distraction Bel grabbed with all fins, pulling it in desperately with the promised need of a story it offered, "Well then, settle in, little sister. Let me tell you the old stories. Many, many years ago, Treaders lived on an aquatic planet, far more water than earth - as far as they eye could see. We were smart, learned the land, and learned the best way to tackle anything that came at us. We protected the weaker, defending our fellows, and did everything in our power to keep the peace between the different creatures of the world. It gained us notice by the Sea Empress, who had long governed the planet with her gentle nature and her eagerness to see everyone flourish. She granted us the power and knowledge to be the defenders of the world." Bel paused her, her gaze grinning, "Our pod lost the knowledge of that power we were granted, but Yukime did not. . . . We weren't just given a title with nothing to utilize in defense of the oceans, the Sea Empress knew we would need something behind us to stand up - and we were given very control over the waves we harnessed. Some of that ability remains today in our vapors, though we've lost control over them.
"But everything wouldn't remain peaceful . . . Others came to the planet, wanting to study what the planet offered . . . at first we worked with them, eager to help, eager to learn more oursevlves. We never realized how disastrous this would be. These others began to experiment on things they shouldn't . . . they recrafted an old virus that had long died on our planet, and through those experiments, the entire thing would become a disaster. The virus was released, the Sea Empress imprisoned where no one could reach her, and the planet was quickly becoming infected. We had little choice than to escape.
"We had to carefully check over our people, our fellow Treaders for sign of infection. I don't know if you remember, but with the pod, green glows are considered bad luck - a sign of illness that would spread to the others and kill the entire pod, if not the planet. It is a fear that comes from this virus, as it would cause green glowing spots to appear on the skin of the infected at which point it would begin to kill them, while spreading to others.
"Our pod wasn't largely infected, and the majority cleared to travel to a new world, this world. But that was many years ago, and today most of the Pod no longer believes the old stories. They're told to us as scary bed time tales . . . but Yukime escaped from that planet herself. She saw the destruction after we left, had been protected in a part of the ice zones of the planet and able to make her own escape." Bel's smile was a touch playful as she poked her sister's side, "So, don't start glowing green, yeah? Or I might have to assume you ill and take you to every healer between here and Delumine!"
"Bel" Yukime
@Polar North Notes:: Well they are getting better at least. Finally, aye?
The caress of Bella's muzzle was like a jolt that wrapped around her heart. She found herself reaching out to match her touches. "It might have been different... but we cant live in the what-ifs... We need to step forward with how our lives are now and learn how to be close to each other as we are. We cant say that our relationship would be the same no matter what, but we definitely need to get close and stay honest together. I love you Bella... I always have even when trying to understand the decisions of the pod. You have always had a special place in my heart." She murmured, her words soft and gentle as she tried to soothe her elder sister. She could see that Bella was struggling with something, though she vowed to never pry into it all.
The tight hug nearly swept her off of her hooves, the feelings reminiscent of the tides in the ocean. "I agree, Bella. I dont know how to say how hard it was to see you again the first time. To catch your scent at the candles. To see a familiar face that I never expected to see again. But I am so thankful that I did. I dont think that the pod would have been willing to learn a new way. What I remember was that they were set in their ways and unwilling to change." She said, pressing against her sister's cool flesh and breathing in the scent that had always made her feel so much better. There was a part of her that recognized that Bella's scent was that of home, of family. As much as she resented her pod and the members within it, she couldnt give up her love for her sister.
Pol nodded as she listened to her sister's explanation of her feelings for Sol. "I am certain that being your friend is going to help him to get through whatever trauma might be in his past. While I am not sure what he feels in terms of relationship with you or if he is ok with friendship... I think having you is going to be nothing but positive. I know I am relieved to have you back in my life." She said softly, her words wiser than she felt.
The idea of a non-terrifying shark nearly made her burst into laughter. "You should have seen me when I helped Trey... Between the shark bites and the fact that his species is more shark in genetics... It was a struggle to not run away in fear. He helped me through the levels of fear that had me frozen... though I still have the issue with panic and nearly losing my mind when afraid." She laughed at herself as she shook her head. "We can definitely take a dive at some point. I dont swim often, preferring to let myself dive into learning to heal rather than the waters that can be dangerous." She said, realizing that her drive to learn to heal was a way to escape the fear that water held for her.
Pol laughed softly, her amusement cynical and directed at herself. "I cant say that I am holding my breath to ever feel that... I dont think I will ever find love like that. I thought I loved Trey at one point... but I dont think it was real love... just the infatuation of a filly being happy with a stallion for the first time. Someday... I would love to feel love like our species holds to. To connect with someone on such a deep level." She said softly, admitting her feelings for the strikingly bright stallion that she had healed. Pol wasnt sure that Bel knew about Trey, and she was willing to explain further if asked. She found that her heart was less hard, more open... And a big part of that was thanks to the mare beside her.
The emotions in her sister's face at the mention of Shard nearly broke her. Nearly made her apologize for even bringing it up. The words that escaped her sister's reptilian maw were painful to hear and enough that Pol was struggling hard to not break. "As hard as it is to admit... I wonder if maybe he could change... Caligo knows that I have changed a lot in the last few years. I mean... I am four years old now and still have no idea about most of the world. No idea how to deal with anything that comes up. I am struggling through trying to learn to be a medic, to be able to help those that need it. I cant be the typical Vapor Treader... I am not built that way. It would be like a seal trying to swim with the sharks. Perhaps Shard learned something with the way that things ended up. I can only hope that he realized that there was a different way to deal with things and in some ways, a better way." She was being more prone to speaking her mind with Bel, more comfortable with it. It was a blessing and a curse, because she couldnt erase the feeling that she was going to push away the other mare without realizing it.
Pol listened to the words from her sister, memory of similar words spoken to pup ears so very long ago. It was like a memory being brought back to her eyes. "I dont remember anything about the Sea Empress... Well... no more than just the words. It is like an echo from my past. I cant explain it... Yukime must be a great help with learning all of the things that our people have lost." Pol murmured as she took in the information. At the poke and lighter words, Pol tilted her head. "Last I checked... my glow is purple. Not that i let others see it often. The glow made the nomads uneasy, so I learned to hide it and avoid situations that might make it visible." She laughed, though it did make her wonder about her glow and why the healer had been so afraid of it.
"Speaking"
@Below Zero Notes: The little drama queen has a wise streak it seems <3
I don't care what they're going to say, let the storm rage on the cold never bothered me anyway
Bel felt a faint smile touch her muzzle at Polar's actions, her gaze softening as she looked at her sister, a gentleness reserved for the long last family she had only just began to rebond with. The only member of the pod she had around - not that she could even call this a pod. Two siblings, and one afraid of the ocean. Was this what banishment was supposed to feel like, even a self-imposed exile? A walk away from the cruelty of a world, a people she could no longer support any longer. A way of life she couldn't help but feel hatred for being set in their ways . . No, hatred was too sharp. Hatred was too intense. Pity perhaps. She pitied them, for not seeing there was a better way. She was bitter over how her sister was so casually tossed away. And she was hurting, still, over Shard's treatment towards her family, the immense amount of pain he'd casually tossed her way with out a second thought . . . Sure, he'd tried to offer comfort, tried to explain, rationalize with her. But . . . in the end, he'd done as she'd expected he would - as she knew he always would. The pod came first, his duties came first . . . even before her . . .
Why did it still hurt?
She turned her attention back to her sister as she spoke, smiling softly in agreement of the words leaving her sister's muzzle. "It's easy to think back on what ifs in these situations, to bitterly wonder how things might have gone different, especially when the view of the future can be so scary . . ." Her gaze moved up to the sky ahead, soft and delicate, "We worry about how things might turn out, will it become easier, will things smooth out, and the so many uncertainties make us wish they didn't have to be this - drawing minds back to the what ifs, imagining scenarios where things might be easier now. Our imaginations trying to imagine a more peaceful existence . . . But even that isn't so easy." She turned her gaze back to her sister, "I'm glad we had it rough, glad we had these chances to grow and grow further still. We might have had to say good bye early in life, but it allowed us to see the wrongs of the pod, to see what we needed to change, both in our lives, and our surroundings to be a happier place.
It was easier to smile now.
"We'll get there, finding a place to belong in one another's lives, and things will smooth out eventually. You're my little sister, and while I will forever wonder if things couldn't have been handled differently, it will never change the fact that now that I have you back in my life. I refuse to leave you alone again. You're the only family I have left, the closest thing to having a pod again. And of course, I love you too, little sister. Even if you've somehow managed to outgrow me, little pup." Bel teased.
The air was easier to breath too.
A laugh left Bel, remembering the time with the candles, seeing her sister again, "I honestly thought you were a ghost! I thought I was about to get the verbal bollock of a life time and I couldn't understand why you were doing it and not momma. But you are right. The pod, the Council of the elders are set in ways that are no good, but we'll just have to make our own way, and one day perhaps the pod will learn from their own mistakes, so families won't have to be split in the future like ours."
The topic of Sol was a touchy one.
It was to be expected when dealing with potential romance. She loved Sol, yes, but as a brother she had never had. He was a stable source of comfort to lean on, who knew her story as she knew his. There was no judgement, just pure honesty, and for that, she was grateful for his company, she just hoped they could truly grow still - that their familial relationship could retain it's innocence. She wanted love for Sol, she just knew she couldn't be the one to make his heart soar in the clouds like he deserved. He needed a fierce, fiery love who can compete with his own flames. She needed someone cool, who can brave the currents with her, steady as the waves, strong as the current, and being as intune to the water as she was. She was ice and snow and oceans, Sol was fiery, air and sunlight. They were incompatible in romance, even if they were perfectly suited as psuedo-siblings.
And her heart longer for something else.
Bel blinked as this Trey individual was brought up again, before her eyes blinked wide, "Wait? Trey. Blue and yellow? Shark fins? I met him once upon a time!" Bel nearly squeaked, "You were friends with HIM?! He's literally a shark horse! I'm so proud of you for being able to be friends with him! It couldn't have been easy, especially with your fears." Thhe love was an odd topic for them to fall into though, "I imagine that no one ever expects love until it slaps them across the face like a wet fin. One moment you're minding your own business, the next you're trying to figure out how to get closer to another. It can be terrifying and exciting all at once, but it's never expected. And it always sneaks up when you least expect it."
And losing it would hurt.
She could still remember his laughter, the crooked aspect of his smile when his grin was sheepish. The way his eyes lit with a fire when he saw a need to protect her. The slight growl to his voice when he was yelling at her to be more careful. The gentleness of his touch, his voice, his eyes. His every movement, his every expression - seared painfully in her mind. She shook her head at her sister's words, her expression carefully shuttered, the pain buried, "Shard is led by the muzzle - obeying the council's words with out thought. He wouldn't have learned from this . . . I am . . . I was second to the pod, the Pod always came first. He was the perfect Triton like that. Set in the old ways as his father had been before him. It's best I forget about him." Even as she said the words, her heart constricted at the thought.
She couldn't forget just yet.
She smiled slightly, letting herself tell stories to distract herself, smiling softly when her sister spoke, and Bel had to gently smile, Yukime was a blessing to have, "Yukime brings new life to stories. She has personal experiences to mirror the things I thought to be legends. She's seen that world with her own eyes. She's seen the horrors of the virus as well. I'm grateful we don't have to worry about that dangers of it here." Bel giggled at her sister's response, though frowned at the thought of hiding the glow, "Don't be ashamed of the glow . . . It might make others uneasy but it's how our people find each other. We follow the glows to one another. No two treaders ever had the same, we could tell each other apart by the hues. Momma was purple, yes, but hers was deeper, darker, yours was always lighter, a playful hue. Father's cyan hue was so pale it appeared white at times, a glowing promise. And no matter where any of us where, we could find our ways back together by that glow. Be proud of it, it has a special purpose all of its own."
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