He doesn't have much time to himself these days. Tension runs high in the capital and in response Eik has turned his attention inward, to Solterra instead of the other courts.
(still-- his thoughts are often drifting far above and far away, where a golden eagle circles lazily on warm updrafts. Even when surrounded by four walls, even when engaged in conversation or reading or writing... there is always a part of him that is reserved for Somewhere Else, a part of him always ready to imagine he can feel the wind in his feathers and the sun on his broad back.)
Time has passed in a whirl, as it tends to do when one is exceedingly busy. Searching for the lost, dealing with the bodies, planning the allocation of food (water, for once, not a concern!) and just generally... talking to a lot of people, keeping hopes up, providing support where he can. It is exhausting for someone so fond of silence and open space, but it is deeply rewarding. At the same time, it gives him the uncomfortable feeling of resigning to a fate he had not even seen coming. The emissary once walked the streets with hardly anyone recognizing his face-- he does not know if he will ever have that luxury again.
And so the days bleed into another and the sleep deprivation compounds. His body suffers, too, at war with this newly discovered and highly temperamental magic. It will blaze to life, filling his head with the (unwanted) stream-of-conscious thoughts of anyone nearby, then sputter out leaving him sweating and exhausted and not so confident in his sanity.
In the chaos of the past few weeks, Eik has managed to create a small routine- it helps to keep him grounded even when the days are speeding by. He comes to the rampart at sunrise every morning. It is with such regularity that the morning watch has unofficially become his-- the yearlings normally on duty are granted a few more hours of precious warmth and sleep. He watches the landscape first with a critical eye, looking for changes in the slowly melting snowfall and perpetually hoping to see the flush of green life among the dramatic swathes of white and red-orange. Toward the end of his watch, he has fallen under the spell of the desert's beauty and simply stands there at peace. He has come to love watching the morning colors race across the sand dunes, each day different from the last. It is the one moment in the whole day that feels like it is his. (Even his sleep is interrupted by his magic throwing him in the dreams and nightmares of others.)
Eik does not stir when he hears hooves on the stone behind him. @Seraphina often joins him in the morning, if only for a few minutes to gauge the progress of the snow pack. Sometimes she stays longer and they stare at the desert, each with their own thoughts, preparing for the long day ahead. He does not mind-- he even welcomes her company, for is just as comfortable as solitude. But he quickly that this is not Seraphina. This stranger walks differently, slightly heavier. Still he does not stir, aside from following the mare's movement with a single ear. He is far more alert than he would be if it was the sovereign joining him, but the peace of the morning is still upon him and he is not ready to let it go, not yet.
"Looks like good weather today," he says quietly, never quite adept at small talk even after all the practice of late. His eyes remain on the landscape before them, on the eagle floating above the horizon in large, lazy circles. He thinks if he tries hard enough he might be able to join it, in mind, if only briefly. But for now he settles for imagining what it might be thinking.
* I have let myself go where the dust
E I K Has the color of nothing
@Adelita ahhh goodness he's so bad at small talk -shakes head- (also tagged sera for the reference because it seemed like something she'd do <3) this thread is open to anyone now!
Time makes fools of us all
08-30-2018, 12:00 PM - This post was last modified: 10-18-2018, 04:27 PM by Eik - Edit Reason: changing from private to AW -
The sun on his back and the wind in his feathers is a freeing feeling, Saphrax must admit. There was something peaceful about being able to soar high above the ground and just be himself. There was no one up here except for himself, no one to bother him, and no one to interrupt his thoughts. And yet, despite the peace that the sky brings, it does not itch that need to be around others – that need to be the center of attention. Loneliness is not for Saphrax.
Perhaps that is what has brought Saphrax to the Day Court. Perhaps he seeks friendship, perhaps he seeks companionship. So far, he’s not met too many who would be willing to give him the slightest part of their day. People here seemed self-absorbed and bothered by things they cannot control. Instead of just going with the flow with the attitude of “so it goes”, these individuals are worried about disasters and gods, and alliances. It was silly. Perhaps they hadn’t discovered that Saphrax would ease all their worries and their fears – even keep them warm at night.
Yes, Saphrax is just as self-absorbed as the others, perhaps more so. He thinks only of himself and what he desires. He doesn’t care what this land is experiencing. He doesn’t care that his personality might clash with others. None of that matters to the fiery stallion. He’s not here for their benefit, only his own.
However, Saphrax is still very unsure of this place. He’s never been one to like the desert. It’s hot and dry. The desert makes him sweat which makes him feel dirty, despite how well it makes his beautiful coat shimmer in the sunlight. But the sand! That sand gets into every orifice and into every crevice and it’s nearly impossible to get rid of. Even know, Saphrax swears he has sand in between his feathers. It’s gritty and it definitely does not make him feel sexy. But the snow in the desert perhaps puzzles him more. He had never heard of such an anomaly.
However, Saphrax rises early in order to explore this place, to perhaps find someplace to stay that might be more tolerable. And while he is out exploring, he sees a figure up ahead, watching the dunes with a sense of awe. Saphrax doesn’t find them all that beautiful, but that doesn’t stop him from stepping forward in order to start pleasant conversation. As stated before, Saphrax does not like to be lonely.
He hears the stallion speak and he cannot help but wondering if this stallion truly understands who he’s talking to. In the end, he supposes that it really doesn’t matter. “I can’t say I’ve ever seen snow in the desert…” This weather was perplexing and yet, Saphrax doesn’t seem too terribly bothered by it. He’s lived in cold places and at one point, he had magic which warmed him from the inside out. Perhaps in time he would acquire that magic here. “…and I’ve seen many things in my days.” He comes to stand alongside the stallion, ensuring that his wings are along his side so he does not literally ruffle his feathers. “I’m Saphrax, by the way.” Pleasantries were obligations and so, Saphrax kindly gave his name. He doesn’t expect anyone here to know his name or have heard of him, but perhaps they would come to know his name in time.
Eik draws his attention away from the bird he had been watching when his new companion speaks. "I can't say I've ever seen snow in the desert..." Eik murmurs his response, a quiet and agreeable "hmm". He grew up in a place similar to Solterra, but cold instead of hot, white instead of orange. Even that place rarely saw snow-- it was too dry-- except in the deep south where the forests grew tall and the deer roamed freely, wide-eyed and knowing..
At the mention of seeing many things, Eik's ears perk up. "Oh?" He turns to take a closer look at his new companion. The man is impeccably clean, to the extent Eik almost finds amusing. In comparison, the emissary's coat is tattered with scars and thick with dust and grit. Eik could not be considered a vain man by any measure, at any point in his life. Pensive, yes, but never in a self-admiring way.
(all I want is saguaros in bloom and storms heavy on the horizon,
all I need is the sun chasing shadows across the dunes,
and crimson coyote dreams.)
He often wonders how different a man he would be if he had been born with such loud colors as Saphrax, or even if he had just been born in a different place, one not so stark and hostile. "I hope it passes soon." It isn't the cold that bothers him but the court's waning resources. They'll starve if the desert does not produce food-- although certainly they would leave before that point, perhaps migrate to Delumine. Planning is all he ever seems to do anymore. But there is a line between planning and worrying, and he often crosses it.
"Saphrax?" The name is new to his tongue but it comes easy, not unlike Seraphina. "I'm Eik. Where are you from?"
I have let myself go where the dust
E I K Has the color of nothing
The land where Saphrax was born was probably the land he missed the most. While his mother didn’t care about him and he certainly didn’t know his father, he had enjoyed the land. It seemed to be like Novus, in the sense that each land had one of the four seasons. He could come and go between lands when he wanted a good change in scenery. It had been a pleasant place to live and he had missed it when he was forced to leave. Ever since then, it seemed as though all the stallion did lately was wander. He had gotten quite good at it. Though despite his searching, he had yet to find another placed that he loved more than Ausus.
He stands quietly next to the other stallion, their conversation simple and meant to keep them both busy. It seemed this other stallion simply wanted the snow to go away. Saphrax liked the snow every now and then, but he also did not like to be freezing. Though, to be honest, if he had to choose between the freezing cold snow and the sun-stricken desert, he would choose the snow every single time. “…but it will be beautiful while it lasts.” Despite what others might think, the stallion does sometimes find beauty in things. Normally, it was beautify in mares, but on occasion, there is something about the environment that nearly brings him to his knees.
He introduces himself as Saphrax, at least wanting to try to be civil in this new place. If he was going to find himself any friends, he would have to at least be friendly to the others. He hopes the other will be kind enough to return the greeting and when he is rewarded with the stallion’s name, he cannot help the grin that appears on his lips. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Eik.” His name is strange, but he supposes that he will come across many others who also have strange names. Not everyone can have a perfect name like himself.
Eik asks him where he’s from and he sighs. “I’m from here, and there, and everywhere.” While it wasn’t exactly a direct answer, it was the truth. Saphrax had called many places home. “I was born on Ausus…but have since wandered around aimlessly, I suppose.” He was searching for someplace that might capture his attention. It was a hard thing to do, but Saphrax never stopped looking.
The words surprise Eik, and the plain truth of them resounds in him like a bell. "Indeed," he murmurs in response, and it feels like a secret, for it seems to him that true Solterrans do not talk about beauty unless they are speaking of weapon.
He does not speak of it, of course the beauty of the snow-covered landscape has not escaped Eik. If anything, it summons him here each morning just as much as his anxiety does. He spends most of his time on the ramparts waiting uneasily for the snow to melt, but there are moments (sometimes scraps of them strung together until they become long unblinking minutes, tucked away into the folds of time forgotten) where he lets himself be lost to the beauty of it. "We'll never see a sight like this again, if the gods are good."
A silence sits oddly in the air. It seems to jeer have they ever been good, or anything but
wicked
"Do you think that makes it more beautiful?" Eik thinks it might, he thinks that in a hundred years they will talk about the way snow fell in Solterra but no one will know what it looked like except for those here and now. They're living history, Eik and Saphrax and everyone around them, and it makes him feel a little inside out, a little like he's watching his life unfold instead of living it. His left ear flicks uncomfortably, and then he is still.
Saphrax seems truly pleased to meet Eik, which is something the grey finds mildly baffling-- but he offers a smile to the other stallion, small and a little weary, but kind. His own introduction to Solterra had been an alienating and confusing experience, and since then he's tried to do right by others. His quiet calm doesn't sit well with everyone, of course. Some people just want a fight, just want a fire, and there's plenty of both of those here but not in Eik unless you dig like a dog for it.
"Here, and there, and everywhere" sounds like a place of its own, or three places, or like a song he knew as a child and then forgot. "Here, and there, and everywhere." His ears perk in interest. Eik has always been restless, and there has always, always called to him more than here. "You're just passing through, then?" He looks back to the snow-swept landscape before them. There is another question picking away at the inside of him, before the first can even be answered. "Do the gods here mean anything to you?"
I have let myself go where the dust
E I K Has the color of nothing
Saphrax lets his gaze wander the snow, wandering over the hoof prints of deer and the frozen icicles that fall from trees. Eik is not the first one that Saphrax has come across who doesn’t like the chill brought on by the sub-zero temperatures. It was moments like these where he wished he had more of his magic, where he could warm his body (and others) from the inside out. Perhaps then he might be able to make more friends. If he offered some warmth, perhaps those who did not like the cold would flock to him. After all, who wouldn’t want a warm body to sleep next to when the temperatures continued to drop.
It is Eik’s words that bring his thoughts back to the here and now. He’s claiming that if the gods are good, then they would never see a snow-covered desert again. He nodded his head, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “I don’t hold much faith in gods.” Saphrax had never been a religious fellow, unless you count the god that called him son. He had never worshiped the man, not in any reverent sort of way. That god had given him life, but that was about it. If anyone should worship a god, the god should be no one other than himself. He could be a god if he wanted to be.
Though the silence, Eik speaks and Saphrax is quiet as he contemplates his answer. Does the rarity of snow make it more beautiful? He is unsure. “Snow is quite ordinary…” He starts, but his voice trails off as he ponders the meaning of snow in the desert. “…but snow in the desert is extraordinary.” Did that make it more beautiful? He was unsure. A blanket of snow was always beautiful to Saphrax.
The conversation casually meanders between the two stallions, Eik asking about where he is from. Saphrax answers with truth and he is amazed at how truthful it really sounded. Saphrax has never been one to pass up a lie to cover up the truth. He’s never been a truthful fellow, always preferring to embellish a story rather than telling it at face value. He hadn’t been raised with good values but there was something about his companion here that made him want to be truthful for once.
Eik asks if he is just passing through and he offers a shrug of his shoulders as his eyes turn to look at the other grey. “Unless something, or someone, asks me to stay. Solterra does not seem to accept me. Not that acceptance as truly mattered much to me.” Saphrax has never really cared about acceptance, but it wouldn’t hurt to feel wanted every now and then. Sometimes, just wanting to be in someone’s presence has a way of uplifting them. Saphrax, in general, was a happy fellow, so if someone actually wanted to be around him instead of simply writing him off as the local crazy, it might encourage him to want to stick around.
But, now was not the time to dwell on whether or not individuals, or in this moment Eik, enjoyed his presence. It was still far too early to make any sort of decisions about Solterra. Eyes looked up towards the sun as Eik speaks. He offers a sigh, the heavy sound falling from his lips almost too easily. “I cannot say I know the gods all that well. But from what I can tell, they seem like gods I don’t care to know.” They didn’t care about their subjects or their worship. From his point of view, they were only there to show their dominance and then flee. Didn’t seem like any gods he wanted to know.
His magic being what it is, Eik has a sort of lie detector ingrained into him. Even when he is not actively reading one's thoughts, his magic can't help but to reach out and probe at the personalities he meets. It cradles their minds and gets a feel for them that cannot be accurately be put into words. Suffice to say that it has come to be that his intuition is unusually good when it comes to reading others.
Eik twitches an ear at the other stallion's words- "I don't hold much faith in gods." He was always fond of nonbelievers. They tended to be more practical than the devout, not that they were necessarily correct. When it comes to the gods, Eik has belief but not trust. It is impossible to not believe in them, having met them. Also having met them, he's of the mind it's impossible to trust them too.
"What is it you're looking for? This place isn't for everyone, but... if you know what it is you want, and you're willing to fight for it... Solterra is rife with opportunity." It seems a little hypocritical, though, to speak of knowing what you want. Eik didn't have a damn clue what he sought, not even when he found it. Or rather, when it found him.
Talk turns to the gods and he looks out once more across the snow-covered desert. Where was their sun god now? "I think you're wise in that. When the gods meddle in our lives it seems like only ruin follows."
The sun creeps higher and responsibility tugs at his attention. He sighs, wishing the dawn would last just a little longer. Would that his entire day was easy conversation and staring at the earth.
"Don't give up on Solterra," he says with a small smile that he hopes is encouraging. "Good men are always wanted here." Saphrax does seem like a good man, from what Eik can glean from their conversation. A little flashy, but that isn't a bad thing.... it's just different from Eik is all. He turns from the rampart with a few words in parting "I hope to see you around, Saphrax," and then quietly walks away to attend to the day's duties.
I have let myself go where the dust
E I K Has the color of nothing
He asks what he’s looking for in Solterra and for once, the stallion is unsure. At one point he wanted greatness. He wanted a lineage that well surpassed him. And yet, all he had been met with here was a bunch of idiots that would rather just bite each other’s heads off than relish in the beauty that was fornication. Oh well.
But if he could not have that, what did he want? He wasn’t sure this place was worth staying in. Was all of Novus this way? Would he be an outsider in all the courts? It would remain a mystery for now. “I don’t fight…there’s a reason my skin isn’t tarnished with scars.” He spent far too much time preening his feathers and ensuring that his fur laid so perfectly. If he were to fight for anything, all of that would be a moot point and frankly, that was unacceptable to him.
As the sun continues to rise, the two stallions seem to talk idly about nothing in particular. But as he begins to take his leave, he pauses, offering Saphrax a bit of advice. He said not to give up on Solterra just yet. But why? And then he continues, saying that good men are always wanted here. “Solterra has a funny way of showing it.” He felt the opposite of welcome. Perhaps that was their ruse.
And then, the other is leaving and Saphrax finds that he is already missing the company. Already so many have left his conversations for something better. Why would this individual not be the same? “Same for you, Eik.” And then he watches the other retreat. He sighs almost too deeply before he too turns away and walks back towards the court.
