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Private  - victim to yourself

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Sikeax
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#1

into the sea, you and me
all these years, and no one heard
i love you, let's go


Cold air claws its way into the room, age sinking its teeth deep into the flesh of your shoulder and brain matter. No pain, no discomfort, only the dull, disappointing sensation of knowing you’ve progressed further into the future with barely anything to boast.
You’ve failed, ran and hid yourself from your previous sins, acting as if the world you once knew will never find you again and that the plushness of this life will save your sinner’s soul.
The bed is soft as it moves beneath your weight, shifting uneasily as Helovia becomes too often a thought. It curses you, ridicules your entire life, and yet no part of you has the might to hex it away.
The part of you that might’ve is gone; that part is gone because you, and I hope you know that, even though you already do.
The thought of him hurts as you stifle the knot, choking your airways and throwing a heavy stone into the frail portions of your ribcage. It would’ve broken him to have known you’ll cry over him, brokenhearted and lonely, - there’s a dead king in your home again, is he your fault too? - scared of things that have no involvement with you.
What would they say if they knew?
A whine believed to be tucked in deep finds a way free and unsettles you, your bed no longer a safe place that you’ve stubbornly grown to accept when the -
That sensation of weight in your chest is so much more heavier now, the air in your lungs sharp and brittle as your lower lip curls in, the familiar sensation of grinding teeth against weak skin at the idea of that. You’ll never go back, but they don’t need to know that. They just don’t need to know who you are.

The stone on your hooves is rough; you’ve noticed they crack more these days, uncomfortable and annoying, not used to the pressure they’re now forced to bare, and even though you make a mess of yourself while trying to escape, something still makes you hope to the Sun God, not Solis, that no one is going to care when you disappear.

OOC: excuse me and this as well, I need some definite IC development here to make sia's nest egg work some more so here's some of it.


lunarblues!










Messages In This Thread
victim to yourself - by Sikeax - 12-06-2017, 12:06 PM
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