Bless my darkness, bless my light
I lost my soul in your skin tones, now
The gentle touch of dawn’s early light hadn’t even crested along the horizon before Ba’al pulled himself from his bed, anxious and trembling. Breaching the threshold onto the empty balustrade, skin prickling in affront due to the biting cold morning air, the young soldier stared across the landscape that was Solterra.
It was early and the streets were still barren, lacking the normal bustle across sandstone roads. Darkness still covered the land but he knew it would only be hours, perhaps minutes, until the inky darkness of night gave way to the might of the sun. It was quiet, cold, and peaceful…
Two-toned eyes of soft blue and gentle gold slid closed, a misty breath escaping pale lips only to disappear amidst the chill. Monotony had gotten the best of him again, it seemed. Anxieties and self-doubts had kept him homebound, had forced him to keep his head down, mouth shut, and focused entirely on maintaining patrols. Of course, since the attack, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing…
But monotony was just as toxic, just as dangerous, for a mind as fragile as his. It gave him no time to think, to let his thoughts wander into dangerous territory, yet it’s tight grasp also refused to let his mind surface to better things. Focus could easily turn into neglect, and for what seemed like months Ba’al had lived in a dark, aloof fog. Finally the veil had lifted in the form of a fever dream, tossing and turning as he struggled to make sense of everything. Kit had woken him, Solis bless her keen insight, and he had pulled himself from his cot with sweat-soaked skin to stand here, upon the empty, quiet balustrade in winter’s early morning hours, swallowing great breaths as though he had been drowning for months and had only just surfaced…
The soldier’s eyes opened. His stare remained forward, watching, listening, waiting… An ear flicked forward, bleached pale from the summer sun.
Even through the fog, through the distance he had imposed upon himself, there had been a single constant. Helios. Perhaps he hadn’t treated the fellow as well as he should have, given their extensive history and close, familial relationship… But the man had always checked in on him, assigning them dual patrols at times, always keeping an eye on him like older brothers were wont to do. Ba’al had barely offered him a single word these last few troubling months, but he knew Helios would understand. He always did, even though Ba’al believed he deserved far better treatment.
Tilting his head to the side, Ba’al tore his two-toned gaze away from the sleepy city of Solterra to focus on his golden companion. Kit watched him with bright, inquisitive eyes and when he spoke, his lips barely moved.
“... Can you go find him? Bring him here.” The inevitable apology wouldn’t be enough, it never was, but Helios would forgive him regardless. He always did.
Ba’al honestly wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse.
Without a sound, Kit turned on her haunches and left her companion on the sandstone balcony to go and search for the other soldier. The sooty palomino watched her go, and only when she had rounded the corner of the walkway and disappeared did he look back to the dark city in front of him. The cold breeze blew, blistering and unpleasant, but Ba’al stood stationary and dejected in his sentry, back in his head for the first time in seasons.
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