His mind ruminated, over and over his conversation with the prophetical mare. It was more like an intervention really. To the crashing, burning fire that was his life. He had left the desert seeking something more, chasing a fantastical idea of the future that would be his. He had been misled, and his mind poisoned by viscous sand beings. Devil was likely the best description for them. They had warped and twisted his mind, it was an embarrassing realization.
Each night had felt empty and frightening since. They taunted him in his dreams as he ran from them. In others he Chased them from his mind. He no longer welcomed their presence in his life. In other dreams he fought them, pushing them back - not allowing them near Torielle or Veil Nebula. Their vile blackened limbs were reaching for those he felt a connection with, as fragile and new as it was. He valued this above everything else.
Were these dreams signifying his inner battle, or something more? He had felt concerned since the night of the festival that something had gone amiss with the mares. That it would be his fault for not seeking them out immediately to ensure that Torielle had been found. When the idea of fate had been tripped from him, everything felt so much sharper. Each action he would be solely responsible for, the weight hung heavy on him. And so it should! He was a man, and he would make better decisions going forwards.
The warmth of his anger was not enough to keep him warm on his upward climb up this frozen forsaken place. He had heard that this was a peak that got worshippers closer to the gods. Perhaps it would guide him further in making better decisions. At the very least it would be an appropriate place for self reflection and to try and pry his own personality free from that of his desert culture. It was an ongoing challenge. He knew that from now he would make his own way, in his heart he feared that the Novus gods would also corrupt him. His soul was fragile and he felt like he was clinging to the fragments of who he was.
As he reached the top of the temple, he sighed deeply. He hoped he would find something worth finding within.
Visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
Caught up in a palentary world
There were few places in Novus that filled Veil with the sense of Home. The first was anywhere with Torielle. Something about the mare settled her nerves and just made her feel warm, and fuzzy -- and well, wonderful. The other was this very mountain top, among the temples, and before the gods. Perhaps it was the subtle power in the air, the hum that remained behind in a place of power and worship. Perhaps it was the sense of something more than mortal that made her feel of home among the stars, more like who she was, who she had been, who she suspected she would be once more.
The star, no matter the way she found it - she felt it - this land, these temples, this peak sung to her far more lovely than she could ever begin to describe, and it wasn't uncommon to find her lost in prayer and worship when not beside Torielle. Even now, her limbs were tucked beneath her, the galaxies wafting off her pelt and mane seemed to shimmer like a blanket around her, as her head was bowed before Tempus, as if he had frozen time with her in that state. Unmoving, unbothered. That is until her ears flinched in surprise at the sound of hoof steps approaching.
The stars were instantly whispering to her, her own magic associating their whispers with images, feelings, cluing her in on the approaching individual even before he had entered the building. She doesn't open her eyes, nor move from her pose, but she does speak, Jarek, of the deserts. I see you have found the temples of Veneror Peak. Only then does the star open her eyes, turning her head towards him as he enters. She stands her hooves slowly, her head tilted to the side, appearing far plainer than the first time he had met her. The fancy garb of the festival had been removed, dressing her in simply the dust of her nebula, Welcome to Tempus's sacred domain. She adds, her gaze turning back to the effigy with an obvious fondness for her preferred and chosen patron. As a Vagabond, she wasn't pulled towards any one deity - and worshiped them all equally - but it was Tempus she was drawn to, it was in him she paid homage.
Her gaze returns to the stallion, a celestial form in front of the statue, as if she herself were a goddess among her peers. Torielle had joked about her being such before. The star offered a polite smile, but the rose tinted orbs, with galaxies trapped in their depths, stared forward; as if judging him by his decision to come here. It was surely the first move in the right direction, or so she hoped. And so the star approached him with measured steps, her wings tucked loosely at her side, her steps smooth, as if walking on air, And have you been well, are your demons no longer controlling your actions?" There was true concern there. But for who remained open for interpretation. For the stallion who had been following a life of deception by those he trusted. For her best friend he foolishly thought he could own. For both? It usually did come back to Torielle for her, of course - but Veil was an emotional being - and her concern for the stallion certainly held true . . . she knew what it was like chasing for home and being held back. She was merely held back my gravity - he had been held back by monsters shaping his mind.
Hopefully his arrival here was proof they held less control now.
The frigid embrace of the cold air even in the warmth of summer felt like magic in itself. It was unnatural and unnerving, why should a place such as this break the cycle of what was natural? He could only fathom that it had something to do with the elevation of the temple. Perhaps whoever resided here preferred it that way. It wouldn’t have been his first choice for a temple.
As he saw who was waiting for him within the temple he couldn’t say he was surprised. It seemed like he was blessed this day with perhaps finding the one other creature that understood his plight in full. That she would be here when he happened to seek out the temple was a blessing for sure. “Good morning, The Veil Nebula” he said, feeling as though some weight of the mystery of the place had been lifted. At least a familiar face was waiting for him, at least he wouldn’t be alone.
He stood still as she approached him, taking slow calm breaths. Doing his best to not let anxiety build within. He could feel safe with Veil here right? He could relax, surely she wouldn’t let any harm come to him. His world turning to a complete shambles had made him mistrustful of those who had not proven themselves to be loyal. He felt as though he was standing in a place that wasn’t for him, the cold biting into his skin seemed to agree.
He stopped for a moment to consider her question.“ I have rid myself of them while awake, they haunt my dreams. Threatening me, threatening to come after those who I have felt a connection with on Novus. I see them reach for Torielle and yourself in my dreams, as ghastly black tarred limbs. I have been very worried since the festival, I do hope you found Torielle and that she is ok. I am relieved to see that you too are ok. I suspect it’s remnants of the devils trying to further threaten me. It is only once the sun is up and the warmth of the morning wakes me, that they go away again. I won’t let them take me again.” He felt his speech was pressured and his anxiety rising. He looked around nervously in the temple. “Is it ok to talk about this here?” he questioned as softly as he could with a graveled voice.
visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
caught up in a planetary world
He is troubled, that much would be obvious to someone who wasn't as aware of the world around them as Veil had become. But her magic fed her more. Fed the anxieties, the uncertainty, the mistrust, the very unnerved manner to which he seemed to feel to the place (not to her). She smiles, the expression reassuring, gentle, understanding, and she doesn't hesitate to approach close to him, as she would do with others, as she had seen others do with her. These creatures where a physical sort, the equine she felt so connected to, despite being physiologically different. And so she trotted straight to his side, pressing her flank against him, one wing sandwiched between them, as she offered her physical touch for comfort, Do not look so frightened, Jarek of the deserts. This land is not one that will judge you. If there is ever a place you should feel safety, it ought to be here. She pulls away, trotting forward, and spinning in front of him, her wings outstretched as if to address the entire room, This is the temple of being so vastly powerful time flows to his thrall. Yet, he graces us with this time, he keeps us moving, living, thriving. He does not steal it with a breath, he does not force us to beg at his hooves for just a day. Instead, he offers this precious gift! Her gaze warms, He entrusted it so selflessly to us, that he offered us the dieties, his children, those patrons of the courts, to not just let us have time, to to give us the cycle of a day. Oriens who rises with the sun, to Solis who guides it through the day, to Vespera who takes it to bed, and lastly to Caligo who gifts us with the night so that we may rest and rejoice in the light of the moon; that we shall never forget the warmth of day, even in the darkness of night. She praises the gods equally, her words strong as they echo in the chamber, her love for the dieties obvious by the care to which she addresses each name, their purpose, how together their gifts are all part of a grander gift from Tempus.
So fret not, Jarek, of the deserts. This is not a land to feel fear for. It may be different, but once you grow to accept, to trust, to feel the warmth and the embrace of the gods around you - you will find these land becoming a haven, a salvation - if you open up to it in such a way. Where you feel the chill of the altitude, it shall instead be replaced with the warm love of dieties who truly care for your happiness, your health, and your freedom of choice. She trots back to him as he speaks of the demons that only plague his dreams, and her muzzle frowns as he mentions Torielle, once more - hardly acknowledging his inclusion of herself in his worries. Torielle was the important thing. So instead she focused on that piece, Are you connected so deeply to the universe, that she feeds you her secrets, Jarek? Or is it the demons who plant these dreams into your head. Fighting them is a way of giving into them. Even in dream, the fight acknowledges they still have a control for you. While you acknowledge them, fret over them - attempt to chase them from your mind - they will use that acknowledgement to fuel themselves. Perhaps, instead of feeding into those fears, ignore them. It will be difficult, you may not succeed at first, but perhaps in time, you will find yourself having fewer of these fears, these dreams chasing you, haunting you.
She laughs when he mentions being glad she looked to be alright, I am hardly the sort to inspire concern in others, a being of another cloth. But I appreciate the concern; even if we both know your worries are more for Torielle. Here her eyes harden just slightly, the warmth present still, but a solidarity in preparation for her next words, I trust you're taking care to remember that everyone lives a freedom of choice, and to not oppose your will upon others - yes? I would hate to see you succumb to negativity by chasing destructive patterns. You have a kindness in your heart, that cultivated, could see you being a merciful and well-loved being. And Torielle didn't deserve to be trapped by another's obsession and fixation. Torielle was a free bird who needed to share her song with others. Including Veil herself.
That strength to her gaze softens again before she walks towards him once more, noticing the way his gaze was dancing so nervously - the anxiety wafting off him so thick, she could cut it. She brought her wings up, the feathers brushing against either side of his face, so as to coax his head down to her level, close enough she could press her forehead against his, Be still in such worries, Jarek of the deserts. Close your eyes with me. She instructs, her voice softening, her own eyes closing, and her senses spreading out. I need you to breath. One deep breath in, and hold it for one . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . and exhale nice and slow. Good, and again. One deep breath in, one ... two ... three ... four ... out. Keep going . . . one ... two ... three .. four.. and out. Yep, just keep breathing like that, count in your head. Her voice falls quiet a moment, to allow him to get into a deep breathing rhythm. There is a bird singing just outside the temple, I want you to keep breathing but focus on the song now. The way it swells with emotion, twittering as if in joy, freedom, relief. Let those feelings fill you. Take them in for yourself. That bird sings because that is the underlining emotions to this place. Freedom, and joy, and love and care, and understanding . . . I want you to keep filling yourself with those feelings -- but keep reaching out like you did with the bird, other sounds that remind you of those feelings.
"The wind that whispers through the reeds outside, how it softly melodizes with the song bird. The soft chirping of the grasshoppers, The shuffling of small prey animals that have found sanctuary in this sanctum. All these little sounds -- now focus even deep then just them. Onto the very earth you stand on. Feel the strength, the unyielding strength that supports you with out fail. The soft scent of summer in the air, this land is not hostile - can you feel that? Can you feel how yielding, how welcoming this land is. You have no reason to feel fear here, because it will never have the desire to cause you harm.
She pulls her forehead back from his, Open your eyes, and tell me if you feel better, more at peace? And know this - there is never anything you cannot discuss before the gods, for they are a sanctuary of themselves, and even when there are things you may be unable to share with others - you should be able to share it with them. Alright? The monk asks gently, that reassuring smile still on her muzzle.
He felt guided by her words, her gentle touches and the welcome warmth of her side pressed to his. Her unabashed openness to both help and comfort him made him feel shyly dependent. She had been the prophet that had redirected his course from disaster. He listened to the stories of the Tempus and his children. The stallion had given his children to novus to maintain the cycles of what was natural.
The way she spoke, he felt like he was being introduced to a well loved and precious family. Could this become his family? Was that the relationship the beings on Novus had with their gods? He hadn’t really felt any part of a family in his years. The closest he had felt to this was the fleeting short days with his mother before she passed. The days spent at the oasis where she had chosen to give birth to him. The warmth of the day seemed to be a recurring comfort throughout his life. When there were shadows and cold, he had always longed for the relief of the warm sunlight. Perhaps this was a factor?
He listened to her advice and guidance about his dreams. He would do his best to stop acknowledging them or fighting them. He felt some fear deep inside of what would happen if he ignored them. If they would simply finally consume him in his sleep and return him to the earth. But he trusted the Veil Nebula, and he would follow her advice. He would place his faith into Veil and into Tempus and his children. In particular he would want to connect with Solis, perhaps it was his light that would help cast back the shadows in his mind.
He felt a rise of emotions within him, that he struggled to place when she mentioned almost in passing that he had been more worried about Torielle then her. He had been doing his best to not fixate on her. “I have not imposed my will on others, I have control over my choices and fate is not for me to worry about. I simply worried about Torielle more-so because you also seemed concerned on the night of the festival. I have not sought her, nor have I asked about her; other than at this moment” he said simply with a soft sigh. He had been trying so very hard to get his thoughts in order. In truth he was thankful to be seeing Veil again, for receiving further guidance. He felt his emotions rising, “I came to the temple to do better, to learn about the gods here. To find my place, to give up the last shreds of my past.” He felt consumed by the overwhelming doom of his previous choices. Would they ever believe him?
The feeling of her skull pressed to his seemed to lull some of the thoughts of circling frustration. He desired nothing more than to be better. To be good, for himself. It wasn’t about Torielle. It was about Jarek, about who he wanted to be. Who he was going to be? He stilled his thoughts further as he followed her breathing instructions. He listened to the birds, to the wind and the insects outside. He followed their songs in his mind, relaxing his muscles.
He felt the warmth of the sunshine somehow penetrating past the cold of the height of the temple. Warming his pelt in a brilliant embrace. He had kept his eyes closed, but it somehow felt as though someone was embracing him. Veil must have felt his acceptance and wrapped her warm wings around him in an embrace. It felt comfortable and safe. In a way almost cleansing of his worries. They weren’t important.
He opened his eyes with a gasp as she pulled away realizing that it wasn’t Veil snuggling him. He breathed deeply. It was both exciting and terrifying. He felt touched and warmed. “Warm, Sunshine.” he said simply, his mind a little boggled by its experiences. Was this Solis? Surely this was just his mind.
visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
caught up in a planetary world
Progress seems to be continued in her efforts to see him become something that mars doesn't watch closely for war to break out. To see the universe not glare upon him. But progress is never easy. It is never simple. It is never with out fear of the changes - which is why she doesn't just turn away from him. Giving him someone to support his progress to change would be detrimental in his ability to change, and keep changing. So she offered stories of her own Patron: Tempus, and his children who helped guide his desired flow of time. She made sure to offer all the advice she could, to help him see aspects that could aide in his future becoming successful, become something he could be proud of. Let him see the wrongs in his way so He would not aim to possess women, or at least, not her Torielle who was far to wild to be possessed and held in containment.
And she was seeing such progress coming to successful terms as he commented on his desire to not impose his will on others, that he now has control of his choices, and to not bother himself with fate. He comments of simply being worried of Torielle due to Veil's own concern. She does offer a gentle smile, and dips her head in soft understanding, Please do forgive my concern for my friend's well being. I've made very few friends that I am as close to as I am to Torielle, or to my earthly sister; Jane, and I find myself rather protective of the both." She apologizes, before tilitng her head when he spoke of coming to the temple to do better, to learn about the gods here. Find a place to give up the shreds of his past, and suddenly Veil finds herself frowning.
Jarek, of the deserts. Her voice isn't necessarily firm, but rather soft to gain his attention, Please, do not think me as being back-and-forth in my guidance; but understand . . . leaving your past, giving up everything that connects you to it is never a good idea. Our pasts shape who we are, and it is that shape that we must grow from. While it is certainly a good idea to not live by those distinctions, you should not turn your way from it completely, because it has made you who you are, and it is important to recognize the affects it will have on you. I, for example; will always be a star first. I may act mortal, I may eat of the fruit from this planet, but my chest holds a star, not a heart. And my history as a star guides my life still. I may no longer aim to return to the skies, having stopped living by those aspects of my former life; but it's imprint remains on my soul. I still fear darkness with no light. I still feel the most comfortable beneath the stars. Because those aspects of my life remain.
You want to learn from your past, not give up every last bit of it - or you will stop learning from it. Your past will still guide your decisions - it always will. It's using it to guide you to make the right decision that is most important. The Star explained, before moving to press her forehead to his, her next steps of instructions being gentler, meant more to ground him, to help himf idn a comfort and acceptance in the place despite his anxiety running rampant. He breaths on her instruction, and she smiles, stepping back as he seems to relax his muscles, feeling the warmth of the sun above despite the altitude. As she waits for him to open his eye, she smiles softly, The world works in balance to the gods, but this land is their most sacred. When we ignore what we see around her, we can begin to feel their power in this place. But do be careful to not mistake it for the God or Goddess's direct touch. They have many duties, they leave their emblems to touch our daily lives. The warmth of the sun. The light of the dawn. The beauty of the dusk, the peacefulness of night. Those are some of their daily gifts to us. Be careful to not fall victim to the assumption the Gods will be right beside you, or always embracing you - for the Gods are busy themselves, and falling victim to such beliefs can leave you struggling when you try to turn to them to realize they are not there in that moment. They may be always watching, but they will not be always present, for they have many children to look out for, and it's our duty to love them regardless to how often they walk among us.
She felt that need to quickly make sure he didn't fall into the assumptions that any of the gods had chosen to walk with him, to gentle the thought that he could potentially be 'chosen' or chosen, or that the warmth of the sun was an actual embrace; least he assume more of the Gods then what she had noticed they had given. He fell too deeply into the demons of his past -- his gods who he felt led him into such a dark path. She didn't want him putting those same thoughts into the assumptions of one of the Gods of Novus. She heavily believed not all of those aspects, those whispers he spoke of coming from the Gods of his Homelands where actually from those gods. How many of them where the whispers of the way he was raised, that he just automatically believed in. No, she wanted him to develop the relationship with the Gods of Novus slowly, correctly. Rather than trading one God he's assigning values to that led to his own destruction; all onto a new god.
She wanted to see him prosper, not repeat his fall.
The sunshine continued to lay its rays upon his flesh, in a way stroking his weary soul. He had traveled so far to find out that his previous experiences had been shambles sold by false prophets. That in his naivety he had begun to preach the same messages. “In hindsight I can see how close to destruction I stood, even now without as much time passed. How close I could have come to poisoning this place with falsehoods. This experience allows some insight into the challenges of accepting what is “normal” and how blind we can all be to what is plainly in front of us. Balance is something I must learn” He was speaking to Veil, but he was also speaking to his own soul. Seeking some element of silver lining to it all.
He knew that the warmth above didn’t mean that Solis chose him. Veil's words only further solidified this in his mind. In truth it showed that even without divine intervention there were experiences to enjoy. The warmth beating down on his back was enough to know that there was hope. If Veil had taught him anything at all, it was that paths were not locked in stone, that he had choices and he could make changes.
He would live his life and make the best choices he could. Taking into account what he wished for in the future and what had already occurred in his past. Knowing exactly what he wanted for his future was still something he found difficult to grasp. The grains of sands of his desires, simply slipped by each other. It would take some time before they would mound themselves together into something significant.
His mind meandered back to her apology. She was after all just like any other creature beyond the fact that she had a heart for a star. Or was it that she said she was a star? The details themselves he had struggled to grasp. “Do you ever miss the sky?” he asked in a soft graveled voice. “Were the gods, you know up there?” he contemplated shifting his head to the side.
He stopped for a moment his mind contemplating the vastness of the world they had come to inhabit. What were the chances of their meeting? Nothing was fate, but that just made the special things that happened all the more important. What were the chances of Veil being in this exact moment to stop his crash and burning trajectory. “If there is something in the sky above, is there anything below the surface of the earth?” he asked, keeping his voice hushed in the sacred place.
visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
caught up in a planetary world
The day had certainly been progressing well, with Jarek's continued strides bringing satisfaction from the universe. Satisfaction in the knowledge that he seemed to be trying to do better. He was putting an effort forth to relearn, reconquer his own being, his own dangerous thoughts and meglomaniac way of percieving the universe. How he had been deserving of even being given a being. She tilted her head, wild curls of dark magenta falling around her face as he spoke, nodding in agreement to his vision of his past actions. He'd been undoubtedly close to destruction. Take peace in knowing, you did not sow destruction though. You instead saw the risque behaviors, opinions, self-serving wants as the dangerous path, and sought a new one instead. Relish in knowing you are still learning, and you've been given the chance to continue to learn in such a manner.
How bad would it have been, had he not been given the chance to see his wrongdoings, his flawed opinions of what he was deserving? She still struggled with what kind of childhood he must have been raised with to truly believe that the universe would give him another individual. What gods, or demons, or whatever else it may have been; did he worship that would have led him to these kinds of opinions, thoughts . . . beliefs. Were they truly gods or demons? Or were they his own thoughts personified outside himself? I do not believe you would have poisoned this place, Jarek of the Desert. The words slipped from her muzzle with a laugh, You think too highly of your influence. You are but one individual and the souls of Novus are many. You may have been able to corrupt some, certainly; but not so much to poison Novus . . . Her laughter sobered into something of deep-rooted concern, I fear you would have been more likely to find yourself the one poisoned by your own misdeeds, a dangerous fellow of unknown origin, causing chaos where he treads - you would have made many enemies. Mars had glinted so brightly with expectations . . . His glint has dimmed now.
Balance is a very good thing to search for, but it isn't easy. Do not expect it to come quickly, do not be discouraged when it takes time. With balance, comes deeper patience, and both will be important to learn. But he was showing so much progress thus far. She is startled from such thoughts by his sudden question, and she frowns momentarily, her gaze dragging up to the heavens above. I once did, yes. She responds slowly, The whispers of my brothers and sisters. The gentle constant of the universe's knowledge. It is less lonely now that I am once more able to hear them, to be a part of them. She turns her gaze slowly to him, at his question of gods. Would you care to hear how I died, and was reborn? Perhaps it may answer your question? She offered for a moment. There was a soft trepidation at the offer, however, the sort of trepidation that came from the memories of the worst, most painful experience she had ever lived - or perhaps died through.
As a short answer, however; I believe the answer is yes, but also no. One must understand, I come from much deeper than just this sky, much deeper than even this sun, this system. I have seen much, but I have also not seen everything. But she had been reborn, carefully put back together after her atoms had been ripped apart. And put back together as something new. The star in her chest proved that. At his next question, the celestial had to laugh, I am but a star, even if grounded on this rock. You presume I would know what exists below the surface of this rock? She asks with a shake of her head, I'm afraid I do not have the answer to that question, and if the universe knows, it has no intentions to inform me the answer.
I heard from God today and She sounded just like me What have I done, and who have I become? I saw the devil today and he looked a lot like me I looked away, I turned away
Once more since his arrival to novus he found himself stopping and listening carefully to what was being said. He in truth could credit the star with saving his life. Her correction of his path from that of one of the destruction of mars, to something more neutral. Where the path in front of him led now he was not so sure. But he had to be better than where it was going previously? It was perhaps not his right to know what the universe had in store for him. He would simply have to wait and see how it played out. He couldn’t help but wonder how much she could see, or whether it came more as feelings.
Nothing was ever easy, he was learning patience. It was challenging and it had tested him greatly. He was impatient with his own mind, with his feelings and his lot in life in general. His old self lingered in the back like another shadow. A former fragment of himself. The one that had been shaped and tormented by its past. That had been misled and allowed to believe arrogant and self involved thoughts. He found himself nodding more then speech to her words. He wasn't sure what to say next. He couldn't help but agree with what she had to say. It simply made sense now the blind-fold of his misfortune had been removed.
He couldn’t help but feel the warmth of her voice when she spoke of her family. He was glad she wasn’t alone, a creature that was able to provide so much comfort to others shouldn’t suffer loneliness. He could imagine it would be hard at times to relate with others when your view of them was so far wider then what they could even see of themselves.
“I guess the universe has more important aspects to consider than the curiosities of what's beneath the soil.” he said with a chuckle. He couldn’t help but wonder, as if there was something above, there was perhaps something below? Or perhaps it just meant there was something everywhere. The thought honestly hurt his mind just a little to consider.
“I would be honored to know of your life, so long as it is not too distressing for you to speak of.” he spoke with humble tones and warmth. He was very curious to learn more of this majestic and wondrous mare. It caused him an internal ache to think that she too had died and reborn. He had been saved a painful death, skipped that part entirely - and shifted to a new path because of her influence. He wondered how short his path would have truly been without her influence. This he recognised was further self involved thought and he pushed it aside to focus further on what veil would say next.
