Jump, take a leap of faith,
shake your heart awake beneath.
You have all it takes, open your wings.
The fields are crisp and dry in the oncoming chill, and their brittle grasses scratch across her legs beneath the force of the wind coming down the mountains, carrying wildly dancing flurries with it. The sky is dotted with cloud cover, the sun peeking out from behind it and dropping wide rays of warm light to the ground below. Samaira stands and looks up at the sky and shivers.
“You’ve got to do it at some time or another,” prompts a voice in her head. The pegasus glances at the great white heron at her side, and her nervous energy fills her silver eyes. The wind ruffles the feathers of her wings… both of her wings, for her previously damaged one had finally healed and been unwrapped. After so long with the bandages on, it felt strange to be able to move both of her wings away from her side. She opened them part way, allowing the wind to pull against them. “What if it’s weak, and I fall?”
She hates to admit it, hates that after all this time telling herself that the first thing she would do when her wing healed was fly, but now she is afraid. Samaira is afraid that she will take to the sky and it will be nothing like she has always imagined it to be. She is afraid that her dream will turn out to be a disappointment. “You won’t fall, everything will be okay. And I’ll be right here with you,” Alaunus says again. Her bondmate is young, but he is still her calm support system.
Even as her heart races wildly, unevenly.
Oh, she is afraid.
“Or,” he begins, “You can walk away, and never know what it is like to touch the sky the way you’ve always wanted to.” The earth colored woman sighs, her head dropping, her wings closing at her sides. “I’ll give up flying, and just stick right by your side forever. I promise it won’t get overwhelming. You know how I love to talk, and talk, and talk.”
“Okay, okay,” Samaira cannot help the bubbling laugh that escapes her, and her gratefulness at her bondmate’s ability to make her smile is a warmth in her chest. She steels herself, breathes in and out once, twice, three times. When she lifts her head again, the sun is pouring through the clouds. “I’m going to do it,” she says, as if trying to convince herself. She bunches her legs, opens her wings again. Hesitates.
You got your finger on the trigger, but your trigger finger's mine
Duty called, and Israfel was grumpy about it.
’You should at least pretend to be enjoying yourself,’ came Solaris’ voice from overhead where the glittering Phoenix lazily flew, ’Keep frowning like that and you might get a demotion.’ The Sun Daughter snorted. Asterion would hardly do such a thing. If she had a perpetual frown on her lips while on patrol then it would just add to the aesthetic, wouldn’t it?
Honestly she didn’t mind the patrols. Someone had to do it, since the Halcyon were too busy playing soldier in their training grounds. Patrols helped keep their borders secure, after all, but they tended to be on the more boring side of things. She was a creature of habit, an addict of action, and this was… Well. Mundane. Lackluster. Droning. Nothing about waltzing through the countryside got her pulse racing, her heart thumping, and her mortality quivering. There was nothing like a brush with death to make one feel just a little more alive, and after quite literally dying, Israfel found that she did miss the thrill.
“At least it’s not the swamp.” And thank fuck for that. Despite how much she liked Terrastella, she would never be fond of the stink of the bog and the feel of sucking, clinging peat moss to her hooves. Small blessings.
Aside from some friendly bickering back and forth between equine and Phoenix, the remainder of their patrol through the fields went without incident. All was as it should be. Despite the chill in the air, the weather was mild and comfortable, and it was only on their way back that Israfel spotted something that wasn’t too out of the norm yet was odd enough to give her pause. A dark body stood poised frozen, wings outstretched and feathers splayed as though prepared to take flight. It took Israfel a moment to realize who it was, vermilion eyes narrowing to make out their features better.
Samaira. She recalled the medic briefly, although they never truly shared in any one-on-one conversations, Israfel knew of the woman.
The Warden’s steps halted as she took a few curious moments to simply observe. Samaira and her own bonded lingered out in the field, and Israfel watched with a quirked brow as the rich mahogany wings once more stretched out as though to catch the gentle autumn breeze that drifted through the air. Something seemed odd about the whole thing, and it was only after a few moments of deliberating what it might be that she was missing that Israfel realized what it was like a slap in the face. Samaira’s wing, so typically seen wrapped in gauze and bandages, was unfurled and free of its restraint.
Interesting.
Altering her path, the Warden slowly began to approach. Gilded hooves guided her confidently upon the grassy earth, knowing that the sounds of crunching grass and shifting soil beneath her weight would give her away. Pausing a few strides behind Samaira and her bonded, the white heron who’s name she could not remember if she had ever learned it, the ivory and gold woman spoke.
“Your wing. Is it better?” Quick and to the point, because Israfel was learning that there was no point in wasting time beating around the bush. Overhead Solaris turned and spread her own ivory and gold wings out, gliding along the breeze to come to a roost upon Israfel’s croup. The Phoenix’s royal lavender eyes sought out Alaunus’ gaze and she nodded once in respect towards the heron.
Jump, take a leap of faith,
shake your heart awake beneath.
You have all it takes, open your wings.
Samaira is just about to give up and go for it another day, despite the guilt churning her stomach like a stormy sea, when the sound of approaching steps catches in her ears. The earthen pegasus is more grateful for the interruption than she shows, but as she closes her wings and straightens her posture, lifting her head to look upon her new found company, she hears the cross sounding sigh that Alaunus releases.
"Hello, Israfel," she greets. She knows of Terrastella's warden, though she's not sure how familiar with her the other equine is. Israfel, having the rank she does, is quite easy to come by information on, simply by hearing snippets of other's conversations. When the gilded woman mentions her wing, Samaira shifts them a little self-consciously, glancing down at Alaunus for a moment. "It is healed, yes," she says carefully, with her smoky accent.
She can't say whether it is better or not, because she hasn't used it yet. The guilt wrenches her chest again and she grimaces a little inwardly. "I was just working myself up to testing it," and failing she thinks but doesn't say outloud. It is then that Alaunus seemingly gets a brilliant idea, for he takes a few hopping steps toward Israfel and dramatically flares his shimmering, iridescent wings. He looks the ivory and gold warden in the eyes and bobs his head, flapping his wings.
Samaira shakes her head a little sheepishly, and is about to ask him to stop but then he looks sharply at her. Oh, sometimes he is far too smart for his own good. "What if she joined you? A good, proper flying buddy, and a possible new friend to boot. You really need more of those." The earthen woman looks at her bonded, then back at Israfel. She could ask, it would be so simple. 'Please, will you consider joining me?'
She opens her mouth, but that is not what comes out, "But, perhaps I will try it another day." She still cannot admit it, cannot find the trust in her she needs to give it away as freely as she used to. Another day… right. The sky will still be there, she tells herself, and that's almost enough for her.
You got your finger on the trigger, but your trigger finger's mine
Despite she and Samaira not being incredibly familiar with each other, something about the woman’s behavior struck Israfel as odd. She seemed terribly withdrawn and uncertain, showing off her mended wing with a note of caution as though expecting every little motion to hurt. The gilded woman understood. In the days following her rebirth she had moved tenderly and fearfully, as though expecting the agony of burnt flesh instead of healthy, supple muscle. Mentally the pain remained. ’Phantom pains’, she had heard someone in the Hospital say once or twice; a pain so traumatic that even after it healed, it would still be remembered.
Israfel could see it on Samaira’s brooding expression, because it was the one so often looking back at her in her own reflection.
Regardless, the Warden simply arched a brow but didn’t press. It wasn’t her business after all, and despite usually not giving a damn about people’s privacy something about her tentative familiarity with Samaira kept her from prying. It wasn’t until Alaunus acted, approaching her with large hopping steps. He brandishes his wings like weapons, the iridescent shimmer striking in the sunlight and seeming to shift and morph as he proceeds to flap his wings frantically and give her as meaningful a stare as a heron could muster.
Israfel’s expression shifts, confusion crossing her features. It wasn’t until Solaris’ voice murmured gently in the back of her mind that she understood.
’He would like for you to assist the young Samaira,’ the Phoenix explained patiently, her beaked maw twisting up in a coy, knowing smile, ’In flight.’ The Sun Daughter paused. Rose-kissed lips turned down in a thoughtful sort of frown, her brows furrowing. Assist Samaira in flight…?
Samaira, it seemed, did not share the sentiment or the desire, for her following words were dampened with somberness. A pale ear cocked and Israfel took a step closer, tilting her head curiously to the side. Well. It wasn’t like she had anything else to do today, and if she helped the earthen woman get over her past demons in any way, that was an accomplishment. Right?
“Why not try now?” The ivory woman inquired, the husk of her tone tinged with genuine intrigue. “No point putting off the inevitable, right? The weather’s amicable and it’s just us. It would do your wing some good, and help it build strength in the muscles and joints again. If you want, I could help you?” Of course Israfel wouldn’t make Samaira accept her help, and the Sun Daughter definitely wouldn’t force her to… But a small part of her hoped that the earthen clad woman would accept, if only for Israfel to feel as though she had made some kind of accomplishment.
Jump, take a leap of faith,
shake your heart awake beneath.
You have all it takes, open your wings.
Israfel presses closer to Samaira and she lifts her head, regarding the Warden with moon-silver eyes. As she begins to speak, it appears that Alaunus' grand display has had some sort of effect on the ivory pegasus.
Why not try now. It was the million dollar question of the day, of course. Samaira shifts her weight and shifts her wings and looks skyward. It is clear and blue and as beautiful a day as any she could ask for to test out her wing. But she has spent so long grounded, so many years longing to touch the sky. And then she had, and she'd been struck down.
What if it's not everything she has built it up to be in her mind?
"Well, I, ah…" the words drift off as Alaunus' makes it back to her side. He implores her with his gaze, "We won't let you fall," he says, and she can feel his reassurance across their bond, as warm in her heart as the sun is upon her back. "Okay… yes." She is still hesitant, her heart still beating rapidly with her fears.
But she's not alone anymore, and more than that, she is not captive to her fears. She doesn't need to be captive to them, like she once had been. There is nobody here to stop her from doing the one thing her heart has always wanted.
She looks at her companions and takes a deep breath, and then turns her face to the sky and the sun. "Okay, alright," her wings flare again, catching the breeze as it pushes against the long, tapered feathers. Alaunus flares his too, and, "1," begins to count, "2, 3!" His wings press down toward the ground, stretching and stretching, until he is airborne.
Samaira closes her eyes, breathes, and follows suit. Everything feels like it is in slow motion. Her wings flap once, twice, and she can feel each of her hooves leaving behind the crutch of solid ground beneath her.
She doesn't open her eyes again until she feels nothing but air surrounding her.
And when she does, and she looks down and sees the plains getting farther and farther away from her, Samaira could laugh. She could weep, and shout, and her heart skips a little in her chest at the surge of emotions. Her vision blurs slightly as tears begin to pool in her eyes. "Alaunus… Alaunus!" she says twisting in the sky. "I'm here," he responds, closing in on her left side, gliding along on his grand wings.
Samaira looks for Israfel next, silver eyes searching for the ivory and gold woman among the stretch of blue. "I really can't believe I'm flying," she says aloud, to nobody in particular. "This is," she pauses, catching the cry that burns at her heart, "Well, I just never thought this would happen."
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