A s t a
'cause i thought i saw your soul
I'd heard about these portals.
They could take you anywhere, any time, but it was determined by some wild, chaotic magic.
I didn't need to go anywhere. I'd already been to too many places.
But there was something about them that had me . . . intrigued. Not curious per say, I was old enough to know that curiosity could lead you into some bad situations, dangerous places. I don't let my curiosity spur me along. But my intrigue? That was a little different. I'd allowed myself to gather information first, make a decision that was rationalized out for the threat level this portal thing could cause me. I didn't plan to let this life end so soon - I hated the stupid 'starting out new' of each life. I wasn't ready to be an awkward foal again, no thank you. So, that meant taking my time to carefully ensure I knew about the place, the location I was going. Making sure I knew the threats and risks. I like being alive, after all - Not that I wouldn't accept death if I could stay dead [I'd rather let that happen than be alive after all].
Where did this inner monologue turn so dark?
Right. Portals. Right.
So, I'd made the decision to try these portals today, that's really what I'm getting at. Not sure what to expect, but I've been a good little mare, sitting quietly in my studies, being the perfect little lady of house Stendahl. Though, at Five [this year no less!] Can I really be called 'the little lady'? Sure, I knew mother was the Lady of the house Stendahl . . . no, I better not even attempt to bring this up. I don't want them trying to marry me off. I can just hear mother now, 'She's ready to be her own lady of a house!' Father would panic over the idea of their blessing leaving home. Mother would cry before trying to find a husband willing to live in their home, so they could keep me close. Would their desire to hold onto their trinket daughter save me from an unloving marriage this life?
I didn't want to even fathom what my future would bring.
I don't want to imagine in it. What they could do. What they could decide. Where I could end up in a years time.
I wasn't ready to 'tie the knot' and get bogged down with foals for some new master I would call husband. Perhaps if I acted up a bit, my parents would rationalize I wasn't yet 'proper lady' enough for marriage . . . or worse, they could decide that I needed a man in my life to temper me. A husband who could take on the duty of making sure I was where I was supposed to be, behaving how I was expected to behave. I suddenly feel regretful to have not taken the time to deduce my parents responses better . . . who knew distancing yourself from your parents at a young age would come back in the form of this hesitation. My next life, I might bond a little more with them, just so I can manipulate them a little better. After all . . . how does that saying go again, right: You catch more flies with honey, than with vinegar. Might as well control the situations earlier, rather than be struggling against them later in life.
Of course, I also remember the lessons of not to plan out your next life before you get there.
You never know the situation you'll be born into.
But, I've done it again. Got off topic, off thought.
I'm supposed to be sneaking out to the portals.
I'm still stuck in my room.
The air is crisp as I open the window to my top-floor bedroom. I have an entire wing to myself, but I'm usually kept closer to the top floor, I think it's my head-guard's method of trying to keep me caged. They're not as fooled as my parents are, who think I can do no wrong . . . my guards realize I like to sneak off and escape. It rarely succeeded, however. I was resourceful, I'd learned how to be like that when I was only a couple dozen of reincarnated lives in, when I still kept track of what life I was in - I hadn't realized there would be a limit just yet. Their was a soft sound of crickets chirping, and I was relieved to see it was still early, still dark out. It was easier to sneak out then, when the guards would still be sleepy, or if I was really looking - actually asleep. I snuck towards my chambers' door, and slowly opened it. A guard stood outside, jolting up right, and blinking sleep from his eyes. One of the younger ones, easier to manipulate thankfully.
I wasn't familiar with this one though, so he must be fairly new. I blinked my eyes up at him as he frowned, "I'm dreadfully sorry for being a bother, I'm just a touch famished, I didn't eat much of dinner last night. I was hoping to go to the kitchens and just get some bread and honey, or perhaps some fruit?" He seemed to hesitate, and so I turned my smile up, tilting my head to the side as the gem against the bridge of my nose reflecting the torch lights around us, "You're more than welcome to accompany me, nothing will happen if you're there right - and we're in my family's manor?" He looked down at me, and I could see him starting to waiver, so I finished it off with a dazzlingly smile, eyes twinkling with delight, and a touch of awe - I could usually play these younger guards quite well, "After all, a strong, capable guard like yourself will make sure I'm safe, right?" They should have explained to these poor saps that the ones they had to guard against was my own self.
But he fell for the line, bolstering up and 'leading' me to the kitchens. It was a short walk, but it took me to the ground level, and right before he was about to accompany me into the kitchens, I turned back to him, my ears twitching, "Oh, are my parents up? I think I hear someone in the main parlor. My parents are never up this early though. How o-" I didn't even get to finish before the idiot was racing off to go see what I was 'hearing' at the other end of the hallway - clearly deciding the threat was important to deal with. So I trotted my way into the kitchens, while exchanging an innocent smile with the exasperated cook who was used to my antics (and an accomplice for when I couldn't shake the guards who knew better). The elderly mare opened the back door, even as she shoved a pack of food my way. I caught the surprised gift, lifting it over my back, carefully arranging the pack and my shawl so that the fabric wouldn't be trapped uncomfortably against it. Some snacks for the road, as well as a blanket if you get chilly - who knows where you're going today. I smiled warmly at the old cook, nuzzling her side with a smile, before I ventured out the back door, through the vegetable garden, and then through the servant's entrance out the manor perimeter.
With a friendly face in the kitchens, sneaking out was a lot easier. As soon as I was clear of the fence meant to keep me inside, and others out, I was running through the dark, If I could make it to the cliffs, I could follow the curve of the sea to where the portals would be (and have a perfect view point to see the sunrise from). My hooves carried me on, as I made my way through the Terrastella, and as the cliffs came into sight the sun was just beginning to rise. I smile slightly, unable to keep myself from searching the distance, for the area I was looking for - and there I spotted it - the portal. My hooves carried me along the edge of the cliffs, carefully trekking from landscape to landscape, around the edges of the ocean until I reached the path to the portal. I took to it with no hesitation.
It was a sense of adventure I hadn't properly felt in a while.
Not for a few lifetimes yet.
Something new, something unknown.
I passed through the portal with a grin, not hesitating, not bothering to feel fear. The path on the other side did cause me to pause, however. It was dark and small, only a few feet wide, and I could sense a significant danger on either side, keeping you on the path. I didn't bother to go against the magic, not wanting to see what it would be capable of if I did get too close to the edges. So, instead, I kept walking, forward along this unknown path. But what was waiting for me at the end, I didn't expect an eye. All around me were a series of portals. Five in total. I'd overheard the reports given to my parents, about portals in certain locations - and I'd seen the one in the swamp briefly myself. These seemed to be like those. I stood still, tilting my head to one side, wondering which one to take. There were quite a few choices before me after all.
FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@Faction
Notes:: Still figuring out how to play her proper, she's so in-depth, so take pity on me :P Figured she and Faction could figure out which path they wanna take together.
They could take you anywhere, any time, but it was determined by some wild, chaotic magic.
I didn't need to go anywhere. I'd already been to too many places.
But there was something about them that had me . . . intrigued. Not curious per say, I was old enough to know that curiosity could lead you into some bad situations, dangerous places. I don't let my curiosity spur me along. But my intrigue? That was a little different. I'd allowed myself to gather information first, make a decision that was rationalized out for the threat level this portal thing could cause me. I didn't plan to let this life end so soon - I hated the stupid 'starting out new' of each life. I wasn't ready to be an awkward foal again, no thank you. So, that meant taking my time to carefully ensure I knew about the place, the location I was going. Making sure I knew the threats and risks. I like being alive, after all - Not that I wouldn't accept death if I could stay dead [I'd rather let that happen than be alive after all].
Where did this inner monologue turn so dark?
Right. Portals. Right.
So, I'd made the decision to try these portals today, that's really what I'm getting at. Not sure what to expect, but I've been a good little mare, sitting quietly in my studies, being the perfect little lady of house Stendahl. Though, at Five [this year no less!] Can I really be called 'the little lady'? Sure, I knew mother was the Lady of the house Stendahl . . . no, I better not even attempt to bring this up. I don't want them trying to marry me off. I can just hear mother now, 'She's ready to be her own lady of a house!' Father would panic over the idea of their blessing leaving home. Mother would cry before trying to find a husband willing to live in their home, so they could keep me close. Would their desire to hold onto their trinket daughter save me from an unloving marriage this life?
I didn't want to even fathom what my future would bring.
I don't want to imagine in it. What they could do. What they could decide. Where I could end up in a years time.
I wasn't ready to 'tie the knot' and get bogged down with foals for some new master I would call husband. Perhaps if I acted up a bit, my parents would rationalize I wasn't yet 'proper lady' enough for marriage . . . or worse, they could decide that I needed a man in my life to temper me. A husband who could take on the duty of making sure I was where I was supposed to be, behaving how I was expected to behave. I suddenly feel regretful to have not taken the time to deduce my parents responses better . . . who knew distancing yourself from your parents at a young age would come back in the form of this hesitation. My next life, I might bond a little more with them, just so I can manipulate them a little better. After all . . . how does that saying go again, right: You catch more flies with honey, than with vinegar. Might as well control the situations earlier, rather than be struggling against them later in life.
Of course, I also remember the lessons of not to plan out your next life before you get there.
You never know the situation you'll be born into.
But, I've done it again. Got off topic, off thought.
I'm supposed to be sneaking out to the portals.
I'm still stuck in my room.
The air is crisp as I open the window to my top-floor bedroom. I have an entire wing to myself, but I'm usually kept closer to the top floor, I think it's my head-guard's method of trying to keep me caged. They're not as fooled as my parents are, who think I can do no wrong . . . my guards realize I like to sneak off and escape. It rarely succeeded, however. I was resourceful, I'd learned how to be like that when I was only a couple dozen of reincarnated lives in, when I still kept track of what life I was in - I hadn't realized there would be a limit just yet. Their was a soft sound of crickets chirping, and I was relieved to see it was still early, still dark out. It was easier to sneak out then, when the guards would still be sleepy, or if I was really looking - actually asleep. I snuck towards my chambers' door, and slowly opened it. A guard stood outside, jolting up right, and blinking sleep from his eyes. One of the younger ones, easier to manipulate thankfully.
I wasn't familiar with this one though, so he must be fairly new. I blinked my eyes up at him as he frowned, "I'm dreadfully sorry for being a bother, I'm just a touch famished, I didn't eat much of dinner last night. I was hoping to go to the kitchens and just get some bread and honey, or perhaps some fruit?" He seemed to hesitate, and so I turned my smile up, tilting my head to the side as the gem against the bridge of my nose reflecting the torch lights around us, "You're more than welcome to accompany me, nothing will happen if you're there right - and we're in my family's manor?" He looked down at me, and I could see him starting to waiver, so I finished it off with a dazzlingly smile, eyes twinkling with delight, and a touch of awe - I could usually play these younger guards quite well, "After all, a strong, capable guard like yourself will make sure I'm safe, right?" They should have explained to these poor saps that the ones they had to guard against was my own self.
But he fell for the line, bolstering up and 'leading' me to the kitchens. It was a short walk, but it took me to the ground level, and right before he was about to accompany me into the kitchens, I turned back to him, my ears twitching, "Oh, are my parents up? I think I hear someone in the main parlor. My parents are never up this early though. How o-" I didn't even get to finish before the idiot was racing off to go see what I was 'hearing' at the other end of the hallway - clearly deciding the threat was important to deal with. So I trotted my way into the kitchens, while exchanging an innocent smile with the exasperated cook who was used to my antics (and an accomplice for when I couldn't shake the guards who knew better). The elderly mare opened the back door, even as she shoved a pack of food my way. I caught the surprised gift, lifting it over my back, carefully arranging the pack and my shawl so that the fabric wouldn't be trapped uncomfortably against it. Some snacks for the road, as well as a blanket if you get chilly - who knows where you're going today. I smiled warmly at the old cook, nuzzling her side with a smile, before I ventured out the back door, through the vegetable garden, and then through the servant's entrance out the manor perimeter.
With a friendly face in the kitchens, sneaking out was a lot easier. As soon as I was clear of the fence meant to keep me inside, and others out, I was running through the dark, If I could make it to the cliffs, I could follow the curve of the sea to where the portals would be (and have a perfect view point to see the sunrise from). My hooves carried me on, as I made my way through the Terrastella, and as the cliffs came into sight the sun was just beginning to rise. I smile slightly, unable to keep myself from searching the distance, for the area I was looking for - and there I spotted it - the portal. My hooves carried me along the edge of the cliffs, carefully trekking from landscape to landscape, around the edges of the ocean until I reached the path to the portal. I took to it with no hesitation.
It was a sense of adventure I hadn't properly felt in a while.
Not for a few lifetimes yet.
Something new, something unknown.
I passed through the portal with a grin, not hesitating, not bothering to feel fear. The path on the other side did cause me to pause, however. It was dark and small, only a few feet wide, and I could sense a significant danger on either side, keeping you on the path. I didn't bother to go against the magic, not wanting to see what it would be capable of if I did get too close to the edges. So, instead, I kept walking, forward along this unknown path. But what was waiting for me at the end, I didn't expect an eye. All around me were a series of portals. Five in total. I'd overheard the reports given to my parents, about portals in certain locations - and I'd seen the one in the swamp briefly myself. These seemed to be like those. I stood still, tilting my head to one side, wondering which one to take. There were quite a few choices before me after all.
FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@Faction
Notes:: Still figuring out how to play her proper, she's so in-depth, so take pity on me :P Figured she and Faction could figure out which path they wanna take together.
shades of jade and emerald
