[AW] I'm the V.I.P. of my own Destiny

[Asta]

A s t a

do you believe in reinarnation?
'cause i thought i saw your soul

Where the hell was I? Other than in some sort of hell created from my own decision making.
A festival, they said. How fun, they declared.

What I fool I was to believe them. To come to this place.

Suuuuuuuure, it looked cool, but all around me bodies pressed din, tighter and tighter until I was certain that they were going to trample me. All around me were loud voices. Some shouting to buy their food, another asking others to buy their jewelry, a third sung out the joys of the cards, the ones laid out on the table like they held all of the fucking divine answers. Let me clue you in on a little secret, ain't no way those cards will tell you anything. Because divine shit, it ain't nothing but a way to hurt, and prod and breaks you apart. I wasn't expecting how much fucking happy go lucky, all is well in the world bullshit would be in these tent-lined rows. 

Okay, so my mood soured the first time I heard someone pedaling their 'talent' with the cards. Messages from the gods. Here is what they have to say. Bunch of bogus if you ask me. Cause I've been questioning the gods for life times, and want to know what it has done for me. Not a single thing. Here I am, stuck in a never-ending cycle of death, rebirth, death, rebirth, death, rebirth. Oh, I bet your thinking how romantic, I'm stuck in a reincarnation loop. Well here's the big, fat, ugly truth, this ain't some romantic comedy of two star-crossed lovers always missing out on one another. I don't exist for the soul purpose to reconnect with my happily ever after, a soulmate that I cross lifetimes for.

If you're looking for that story, try my sister, Runa.

Some pretty girls get all the luck . . . 

But I'm just me. Just Asta. Always here, always have been. Stuck in a constant loop, a constant cycle. Always remembering, always hurting, always hating each time I open my eyes in a new infant body, forced to grow up again and again and again and again. And always remembering . . . that's the hardest part is always fucking remembering. That stallion leaning against the caravan, hitting on the pale mare? He was once a lowly farmer in another life, but he grew the best peaches around. That large mare over yonder, the one that is looking through the weaponry, here's the funny part, the blushing little blacksmith mare trying to sell her items - I've seen at least seven different life times worth of them ending up together. Seven. The little pegasus that is chasing the unicorn through the stalls, that unicorn killed that pegasus three life times ago, over a gambling debt.

But do any of them remember any of that - nope, not a single thing . . . But me, I just can't forget . . . . And it makes it even harder to remember that they have forgotten, the ones form my past lives. The young mare rearranging her collection of flowers - fifteen life times ago, that was one of my daughters. The stallion trying to steal from that baker's stall - I married him thirty two life times ago. We've married a total of five times, in fact. Not once in those life times - or even this one, does he remember the me of the past.

So you'll have to forgive me for having a sour mood as soon as the gods, the divine world is mentioned. Because, as pretty as this place was. As excited as I was to look around, as curious as I was to see what was on display . . . As soon as I step in, I'm reminded of festivals of the past, I'm seeing faces I thought I would become dull too when they look through me without recognizing me.

I knew I should have stayed home.

Why am I such a glutton for punishment?

FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@All. Everyone Welcome. Come on in.
Notes:: So uhm, anyone can come in, I beg you, interact with girly girl here, yeah?

flashing and dancing on the horizon
shades of jade and emerald

       

Artist Credit to Bingo

[Amrod]

Warning for Language and
Occasional mentions of abuse

“Shed every skin that doesn't fit.
Unhinge your jaw. Go for the throat.”

He's still got no idea where he is; he's just been walking around the lands trying to figure it out but so far he's come up empty-handed. And oof, that is one of the most annoying things to him right now.

He hadn't heard about the festival from anyone but instead he'd found a rogue invite smashed into the ground, probably lost during the winter under snow. This was the best information he'd gotten so far about the lands and, if he was honest, it was a relief to see such a carefree type of event. Amrod took it as a sign that wherever his family had landed wasn't full of the violence he had been expecting.

Walking towards the festival he's immediately reminded of the bustling city in Caeleste, he had spent most of his days inside it after-all; clinging to the seedier back alleys to find others who would have been interested in his little operation, and of course making sure it was kept on the downlow. Whether that included a few fights in the darker corners of the city was up to someone else's imagination simply because Amrod wasn't about to let that slip out in an unfamiliar place. Plus he wasn't really looking to end up in any trouble here, especially because he wasn't fond of the idea of dragging his family into a whole-ass mess from the get-go. 

A deep rumbling hum is in his throat while he noses around the stalls, eyeing the wares (more specifically the food) with less than innocent thoughts. I wonder if I could just...snipe a little one maybe? He's not exactly proud of it but the moment the stalls owner looks away the small little treat is gone, Amrod has made it vanish in a Houdini-esque fashion with he himself also slipping away into the crowd. He's fairly certain the peddler won't notice it missing given that it had been a rather small treat, and placed precariously close to the edge. If anything the tattooed man was simply saving it from a doomed fate of falling on the ground and getting crushed by the crowd. I'll mark it up as...uh saving their wares from death. The profit loss would be the same anyways right Lucius? Amrod tries reaching out to his missing companion and receives absolute silence in return; something he loathes. He doesn't like being alone to begin with, the nightmares are more common when he's all by himself, but he hates knowing that she's alone too even more. Sure he knows the phoenix can protect herself but she's still his companion, and often his voice of reason when Lorcan isn't around.

The star splashed being is drawn out of his thoughts when he sees a particularly sour looking, and short, mare in the crowd. He could probably ask someone else where he is but if he was being honest he'd rather bother the sunset looking unicorn. Partially because Amrod admittedly enjoys poking buttons and because if she's this upset about something he sure as hell was interested in why.

He's careful to approach her but makes sure that he's a good distance away from her horn, well aware that she's got the advantage on him since she can just impale him. "I don't think I've seen such a sour look in a good long while. Don't like festivals?" Amrod eyes her carefully for a second, his pupils constricted into thin slits that almost make it seem like his eyes are nothing but a pale green. For a moment his attention turns to the treat he's yet to bite into and he frowns in thought before he looks back at the shorter mare. "Please don't stab me if that was rude. Want half?" He's awkward and he knows it, painfully so, but he's trying his best here. He's gonna really try to put the best foot forward that he can in these lands, it's a goal he's got to not fuck it up this time. No fight, no Hemlock, absolutely no disturbance to whatever peace might be around here. He won't do it, nope. Not here. At least, he's gonna try not to.

"Speech"
SECOND LANGUAGE, HOVER OVER ME
Thoughts
Lucius

Tags » @Asta
Voice » Manny Montana
OOC » lmao he really tryin to be nice all while stealin shit -sob-

☾ | ☾

[Asta]

A s t a

do you believe in reinarnation?
'cause i thought i saw your soul

My gaze is narrowed as I watch those around me.

I hate how I always seem to be watching. My eyes pausing on faces of the past. It hurts you know.
Hurts to see them now. When they may catch my eye. Smile politely before walking on by, like I was a stranger, like one of my lives wasn't wrapped around theirs so title it pulled at my very core to see them.

I forgot this was why I avoided crowds. Memories of the past could come tackling in so hard that I suffocate under the weight of what once had been. What once was. What will never be again. I'm suddenly yearning for my sister's touch, her reassurance, only to remember Runa won't recognize me, she won't see me and know me and be able o soothe these thoughts. Like the others, Runa won't remember. Not yet, not now, not with out her soulmate here to unlock those flowing memories from her core, lives that they've chased each other through.

A seed of resentment grows in my belly at that thought, but I never let it blossom. I can't. I might feel jealous at times that the two have each other, but Runa's happiness is more precious and important than mine. Perhaps that's the real reason I remember when no one else does - to help others achieve lifetimes of happiness, even at the cost of my own. Sounds better than being cursed, doesn't it? I can't deny the jealousy, but I will mold it for Runa's benefit. I'm used to being alone anyway . . . I've been around for a long time in one form or another.

I have gotten oddly used to being alone.

So I don't stop watching. It's how I notice the figure that swipes the item, a small treat swept up so quickly it could have just been a figment of my imagination, if I didn't recognize the sleight of hand used to achieve the theft. A long time ago, I'd had others train me in similar manners. Swipe the wayward pieces, steal bits at a time, one item here, one item there - never a lot of the same thing. Makes it harder to notice something is gone. Especially in far older times. Times when bandanas covered my body and the sea salt tainted my scent from living in a port town, bridging the world between pirating and a street rat. Far more wild and free than I am allowed to be today.

Then I realize this being is now watching me.

He approaches and I note the way he is cautious of my horn. Good, be cautious. Especially since he would approach me when I was so foul, The problem is I both love and hate them. I respond with a snort, my eyes narrowing in annoyance at the happy crowds around us, trying to obscure pain with other emotions that would cover it well. Too many faces I recognize who will never recognize me. Loud, overcrowded. I cut my gaze back to him, And then there's the thieves stealing from stalls. I add, tone light, non-accusatory even as I stare at him with out falter. Yes, I had seen that little move of his, but I wouldn't call him out on it at least. Then he seemed to pause, frown, and at his next question I'm blinking in surprise.

I wasn't expecting it.

I laugh before I could catch myself, almost doubling over, I try not to stab others when I can. I'm fairly certain my adopted father would build a tower just to lock me into it if he heard I was out there doing things like that. I don't mention the fact that I'd still probably find ways to get out. I wonder how hard it would be to scale down the side of a tower. Would he be smart enough to put bars on those windows? Or hope the height would keep me inside? Sure, I'll take half. I reply, merely to see if he was sincere in the offer than out of real want for the treat, Name's Asta by the way. Asta Stendahl. Before I finally sigh, And I'm trying not to be too sour . . . I just wasn't prepared for . . . well . . . all of this. My gaze returns to the area around us, sweeping the stalls, and my heart clenches again as familiar faces walk past me with out even seeing me. Faces I once treasured and loved.

Strangers in a new life.

FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@All. Everyone Welcome. Come on in.
Notes:: So uhm, anyone can come in, I beg you, interact with girly girl here, yeah?

flashing and dancing on the horizon
shades of jade and emerald

       

Artist Credit to Bingo