[AW] Break through the surface and breathe

[Only]

He couldn't remember when he had met up with the Caravan.  Between here-and-there-and-everywhere-else, Only could barely remember what he filled his belly with or where he slept at night (if he ate or slept at all, that is - the Rift was strange) - those days had been long and hard and inexplicably bizarre.  Days and days and days of being alone in the dark with no promise of a sunrise or sunset (no moonrise or moonset  - no stars either) had made him desperate for company whenever he found it.

The caravan had been a fluke, something seen from the opposite side of a wormhole.  It appeared to Only who had been trapped in the Rift like a door so similar to the many he opened in the beginning when there had been others to help him get through them.  He thought it had been a mirror at first, the face looking back at him had been as dark as sin - as dark as his own face - and so when he reached out to touch it he hadn't expected it's nose to be warm as it breathed a sooty greetings traveler.

Oh.

Because he was growing accustomed to bizarre happenstances more and more every day in the Rift, stepping through the door and finding himself surrounded by lush trees and sprawling countrysides did not seem strange.  He realized after that there had been many horses passing through - a whole band of them and, like anywhere else, they had come from all walks of life.  His wary mind searched each and every one of them and contemplated whether they were any danger or not.  When the same black face introduced himself as a 'merchant' of sorts - his knew he was not in any trouble.

"And what is it you sell?"  

Bodies.  He was as forward about it as he could ever be and Only's interest piqued as he looked all of them over.  See something you like?  He asked.  Someone?  He amended as his eyes followed Only's.

Only became curiouser-and-curiouser as his eyes drifted over towards the back of the group where - amongst many plain backs and drab coat colours - was a pale white, winged boy that piqued his interest.  They made eyes and it was an instant sell.  Only wanted a companion if he was to be lost in the Rift forever (surely this was all another trick?  certainly none of this was even real?)

Just roll with it.  I like birds...  Stephan's suggestion made Only's head tilt as if he listened to the opinions of someone outside of his head, not inside.

"That one."  His narrow snake-like face pointed in the direction of Averin and instantly the enforcer laughed (scoffed) - "You cannot afford him."

Stephan laughed hysterically at that - Only merely chuckled out loud as he looked back towards the way he came and the door was still open.  "Through there, you'll have more than you will ever need.  I've got gold, lots of it, gemstones, armor, weapons..."

The merchant looked skeptical but Only insisted, he needed the white horse like he needed a good night's rest - perhaps having the company would help provide such a thing.  The Rift was awfully lonely.  "I will go with you.  I will show you the way out."

Money talks and Only was telling the truth.  One glance inside and the enforcers could see that his offer was serious.  Quickly the purchase had been made and Averin taken off of their hands.  The Rift, however, sought to keep the man lonely.  The moment he walked the pegasus into the darkness with him - it tore them apart the moment Only tried to introduce himself to the young steed. 

Meet me by the river.  

What river?  And could Averin even hear him anymore?  Only wouldn't know - the next thing to happen was him kissing Delumine's lush green soil as he crash landed in Novus.  It had been such a jarring experience he almost forgot that it had ever happened - when he finally did remember (days later? weeks?) it had only been a dream.  But now, he wasn't so sure that-that was what it was either.  It was odd, Averin seemed more and more like a fever dream that he had concocted as a way to cope with the suffocating loneliness of being trapped in the Rift - it was just odd to him to continue thinking about it - even now.

His usual trek  always started by the Amare Creek, he would never willingly walk into the capitol of Delumine unless he was dragged by force - he would always try to avoid Ulric who could only trust him as far as he could throw him.  His dreams of the Rift had him curious as to what river he had meant when he told his servant to meet him there.  A day down the winding waterway lead him back to the Dawn Court from Ruris and he was not so eager to continue forward until something moved far up ahead.  A horse.  He keened his eyes on the creature more closely, mind racing as it tried to remember the details of that strange and near-fateful night.  The wings were what intrigued him enough to continue forward.  Delumine was just three feet away, a home of which he did not care to be a part of for it had scrutinized him in such a way that he knew he was not welcome before he was told that.

The black horse carefully picked his way through the rocks towards the stranger, his mind racing faster-faster-faster on the event that lead to his extreme unction out of the Rift - the face he was seeing now was more clearer than it had been even in his dreams.  The sleek man stood still in the water as it pooled around his golden feet, through the wild blizzard of blonde hair he gazed upon Averin with interest and curiousity, his stomach lurching with nervousness upon meeting such a creature.  He had found Iliad by the water - but much to his dismay he was not who Only had been expecting.  But this guy,

"Are you waiting for someone?"  He heard himself ask before he could ready himself to say it.  His own ears perked forward, head lifting to toss the golden locks out of his face to get an even better look at Averin.  

@Averin 

.only
si vis pacem para bellum

There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
For many are called but few are chosen.

[Averin]

averin ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL The memories of Rift were confusing ones to him, save for that very major turning point in his life. Being sold to someone else, and rather unexpectedly at that. He had been with the caravan for so long, had seen the passing faces of so many and Averin had thought himself exempt from being sold off. They had never made a big deal of it being an option before, because they had treated him like an asset for so long. Averin had taken care of the young ones, the new ones that they collected to be bartered off after they were conditioned for it. Averin had felt secure in his place, even as the numbers dwindled and resources became more scarce. He shouldn't have, but that was his folly and he had learned from it. Averin had been curious about the stranger they had met, though he had just caught the stranger's eyes, friendly warmth in his gaze and that was all it seemed to take and the stranger had pointed in Averin's direction. At first it went as any other time had -- the enforcer disdainful that someone should have enough to buy Averin away -- and Averin wasn't concerned, just curious about the stranger and why he had been picked out of the crowd. He wasn't really all that young anymore, though probably pretty impressionable all the same. He did not look like the sort to do a lot a manual labor, nor did he look anything like a warrior or bodyguard. He had some value in picking up remedies for aches and sicknesses, and he could watch over youngsters, but when he really thought about it, he did not believe he was worth all that much. Of course there had been various reasons over the two years that Averin had been with the caravan that were brought to his attention as to why someone might want him; some were so very unappealing and some had him blushing hard enough to turn him almost pink. So what was this stranger's reasoning, exactly? He did not always get to know, but it never mattered. None of it had lasted before, and so Averin simply thought of waiting it out. Except it had not ended there. Averin had noticed that there was some turning point in how the enforcers began truly considering it. Not trusting what was being said, what the payment would be, but still really considering the sell if it were true. Willing to go and see, check all of it out before deciding for sure. None of it felt like it lasted all that long, because Only had followed through on the riches offered to the caravan for him, and that was it. He was no longer of the caravan, but belonging to someone named Only. Which seemed like a highly unusual name to Averin. Made him wonder a number of things about the new master. The main thing that he wondered was if the name was chosen or given, as that could say a lot all on it's own. But Averin hadn't gotten the chance to ask about it. Any of it. But there he had been, newly purchased from the caravan and uncertain as to what that meant for him. For anything about his life, honestly. He was pulled away from all that he had known for a second time in his life, and left to try and figure things out as he went. The shock was more in the fact that he had seemed to wander off and away -- by mistake, surely! -- and then he couldn't find Only again. The words of meeting by the river pushed Averin to seek rivers out and wander along them, because he had not seen Only since that fateful day when all had changed for him. Had it been days or weeks that he had been walking along riverbanks in search for the master he had only seen that one day? Averin was concerned in the fact that he might have forgotten what Only even looked like. Okay, that might be a stretch, but Averin was feeling nervous about being all alone out here and without any purpose. It felt sort of terrifying. He did not even know where he was at this point, because it did not appear to be a place he had seen before. He had not back tracked, and it did not look like the rest of that place that he had been sold off in, either. Now a new place to travel was not an issue for Averin, because that was mostly what the caravan had done through those years; traveled to different and new places. Averin had seen a lot in that time, but where he was now was not one of those places he had seen before. Being in a new place on it's own wasn't bothersome, but being here by himself was. Averin wasn't good at dealing with something like this all on his own and without direction. Making his own choices was not his strong point, because he had never the kind of freedom that gave him that sort of experience before. He had always been told what to do, and how, and where to go. Being stranded out here like this? Not something that Averin had been prepared for. The river was his only anchor right now, and so he was loathe to move away from it for too long. Averin picked his way carefully along the bank, ears pricked towards the sound of the rushing water and finding that his mind was wandering along the clouds as his hooves wandered along the riverside. He wasn't paying enough attention when someone else came along, which led him to flinch-pausing there with wide, half rolling eyes when the words were heard; Averin's gaze starting at the sight of someone's legs in the water in front of him. His wings fluffed from the surprise of having been snuck up upon -- not really, he knew he simply hadn't been paying enough attention -- Averin's gaze trailed up until they met the eyes of the other horse; Only. Averin blinked rapidly, wondering if he was seeing things. But no, the other male was really there, and had asked him if he was waiting for someone. That was a strange question for Only to ask him. Mostly because it was Only that Averin had been told to wait for by a river. So it had been this river, then? Relief washed through Averin and he visibly relaxed; feathers smoothing over as he shot a grateful smile at the stallion. "I thought you'd never find me." He replied softly, reaching his nose out toward Only, and tilting his head in wonder. There was so much he wanted to say, all the fears that had festered within his mind like some foul haze about being lost and alone, not knowing what to do; but that shy part of him kept himself from saying any of it just now, because he had realized how very much that he did not know about Only. The fact that maybe this wasn't going to go well -- but wasn't anything better than this loneliness and lack of purpose? -- and Averin could only stand there and wait, wondering if maybe he had done something wrong, if he hadn't looked hard enough; if somehow all of this had been his fault. I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

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[Only]

Now that you have him, what will you do with him?  Someone sneaky says behind his eyes.  He knows who it is, for it is no secret to him.  His heart sinks knowing that Averin will one day be subjected to Only's inner turmoil.  The nature of the question Stephan asks him, reflects in the way Only looks at Averin, pained - disturbed.  What does Stephan mean by that?  What horrors is he already plotting to drag Averin through?  The ideas Stephan then offers to Only is enough to chill his blood.  Stephan's attraction to Averin horrifies Only if only because he knows that that cold-blooded asshole so desperately wants to see Faida again that he'd be shallow enough to vie for a white horse.

The pegasus reaches out for him and Only extends his own nose in fair greeting.  Being this close to something so pretty makes him nervous - he isn't sure if Stephan should be allowed to get this close.  And so the greeting is tender, timid, and sterile.   Only holds back the swarm behind him.  The simple hello is exactly that, simple, and he is already pulling back when he feels his skin crawling with change.  Stephan seems overly eager to introduce himself but Only won't allow it.  As long as things remain quiet and calm, he might be able to maintain the terrible terribleness.

"I'm..."  His mouth goes dry.  "Well -" his voice cracks as he tries to jumpstart his brain again.

"Sorry."  Only clears the rubble from his throat and tries again.

"It was a miracle of miracles that I even found your caravan.  I had been alone for quite some time, waiting for others."  Only frowns again.  Inside, Stephan sits in his solitary confinement and bounces bad thoughts off the side of his skull like tennis balls until Only is visibly flinching every time the horror inside of him squirms with impatience.  "Let's walk - this way."  Away from Delumine.  Away from Ulric.  

Far away.

"You'll always find me in Ruris - I hope you will find my companionship suitable, I tend to travel."  He mentions then, his words coming in and out of awkward silences that fall between them. You tend to run, a lot.  Actually.  You are quite bad at being alive.  Stephan whispers to the chicken-shit boy who leads Averin away from the heart of the river and towards the creeks that run through Ruris.  They are practically strangers and yet they are bound to one another for as long as ... well, as long as it takes for Stephan to destroy everything.

And then, much to his dismay, his curiousity (Stephan's curiousity, actually) he asks the one million dollar question that has nothing to do with the arrangement they've gotten themselves into.

"Are you a virgin?" 

@Averin

.only
si vis pacem para bellum

There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
For many are called but few are chosen.

[Averin]

averin ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL The way that Only is looking at him has Averin somewhat on edge, and he already thought that it was his fault, somehow, that they'd been parted until now. That he had done something wrong in the way that he had waited -- though he had barely done anything but survive and wander a little before returning -- and it had messed with whatever life he was going to have. The pained look had Averin worried that he had caused that pain, and he did not like the feeling it brought. He wanted to make it better, wanted to wash that pain away and make Only smile. All he could make himself do for now was reach out towards Only in greeting, wanting nothing more than to not upset Only again. Which meant he had to find out what exactly he had done wrong, though something in the back of his mind reminded him that it could be the sheer fact that he had been pulled away from Only just as they had been meeting. Perhaps that was the cause of it, but for now Averin wouldn't rule out that he had still done something he shouldn't have. Or did not do something that he should have done. Yet Averin is surprised when Only tells him that he's sorry, because that had not at all been what Averin had expected from the stallion. Averin listens to what's being said to him, how Only had been alone for some time before finding the caravan. But he's seeing the flinching, too, and worries. There is no polite way to ask, he doesn't think, and so he does not bring it up. Instead; "No need to apologise. I don't actually know what happened, or why I ended up here from wherever it was we were before." The words were quiet and uncertain, and Averin doesn't like the mystery of it, because not knowing how it had happened or why meant that it could possibly happen again and he would be none the wiser of it beginning. He doesn't like that thought. Averin lets it slide for now as Only wants to walk, and he follows, taking note of the fact that Only was letting Averin know where to find him, that he hoped Averin found his company suitable. Averin wasn't sure he had a say in the matter, given his position. And traveling was no issue for him, either. "I'm used to traveling. It's how the caravan thrived." He points out with a shrug of winged shoulders. Which reminded him; "My name's Averin. Wing was just what the enforcers decided to call me." He felt that he should explain that, even if Only wanted to continue calling him Wing. At least it would be known. It's honestly strange to speak his name aloud like that, because he has only foggy memories of being called by it. The enforcers hadn't cared enough to ask it, but seeing as they wiped memories from those they took, those names from the past did not much matter. Averin was lucky to have escaped the memory wipe and still know what his name was. A lot of unexpected things seemed to be coming from Only, because the question that arrived next caught Averin off guard, though in retrospect he should have seen it coming. "I," And he takes a careful breath; "am, yes." And he cannot help but steal shy little glances at Only now; noting that the stallion was a bit thin, and not that much taller than he was. If that was to be his purpose, then it was a plus that he probably wasn't going to feel crushed while it occured. Averin wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he had known that it was a possiblity from the start, he just hadn't been thinking about it. "Is that why you wanted me?" He didn't sound upset at all about it; his words were soft, curious, accepting. I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

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@Only

[Only]

"Good."

Only is too quick with the word - too quick with his relief - too quick with the change of his voice. They move on without much ado, Only seems distracted by his own thoughts as much as he is by Averin and keeps glancing back at him whenever he thinks he's being watched. Averin steals his glances and Only wishes to catch him in the act, the dance is a strange one between the two strangers. Where do either of them stand with one another? Only isn't fit for this kind of role - what could he have possibly been thinking?

This was all pure insanity.

Stephan laughs in the dark spaces between Only's sleek black ears - each barking ha-ha-ha steers them into different directions as if he is trying to listen for strangers in the woods. Only grits his teeth and worries about the things he thinks he hears - about the things he cannot control - it drives him mad. His tail tick-tick-ticks one way against his left hip (he isn't one to simply swish his tail) out of nervous wonder, is Stephan out there? Are his associates waiting in the dark? The long blond hair that billows and blows like wheat around him makes him jump as an autumn breeze kicks up around the river bend. It is as if he is afraid of himself (as he or anybody else should be) and can only relax after he snaps his tail back possessively to send the plumes of hair billowing into submission behind him.

The wind carries on. The way it puffs and flares the softer, fluffier parts of Averin's wings is a problem - and it would appear that Only's crocodile eyes catch it despite all his anxious behaviour. The wind ruffs the pretty white wings again and Only's eyes dart quickly to another fluttery part of his new companion. The curiosity in them betrays the grim line his mouth tends to be pressed into. That, or he frets at the bottom of his lip, nibbling and chewing worrying away at it until it bleeds.

Speaking of worrying,


"Stay that way." Only says at long last as they walk in tandem together along the water's path. "And if anyone ever tries to force you -" an unnatural rage has already filled him before he finishes that thought, "- well, I will kill them." A five-star extra spicy threat that he has every intention of following through with if such a situation arises. Only has nothing to lose, just his terrible-terrible shadow and, quite honestly, it would be more of a blessing to be rid of Stephan than to keep him (them) around, they would only continue forcing burdens onto everyone they know and meet.

For once, Stephan does not have anything to say to his ball and chain this time. A satisfied silence fills all those places that Stephan likes to fill with his own opinions. What was with that? Has Only finally figured out a way to silence his own worst enemy? That's it? All he has to be is meaner than mean?

"How did someone beautiful like you end up traveling with a bunch of clowns for so long and still be so virtuous? I only ask because I want to know how many skulls I'll have to crack to keep you safe. You know how many sons of bitches there are out there that would be more than thrilled to tear you apart? "

I am one of them -- ah, there he was. Stephan's interest made Only nervous. Only huffed aloud and jerked his head forward as he dismissed the sibilating thoughts that wore away at his own patience.

"You know what your name will be? Trouble." A bit harsh but Only's tone suggests nothing but worry about the whole situation. "You'll stay close to me - as close as you can stand to be. At least until I've shown you a few ropes. Tell me about yourself - tell me what you know how to do."

@Averin

.only
si vis pacem para bellum

There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
For many are called but few are chosen.

[Averin]

averin ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL Averin was calm at the quick, relieved word that Only spoke in response to the virgin status; enough liked the idea of going where on one had gone before and having something untouched to touch for themselves. That was what Averin thought the words had meant, and he could say that he was glad that it made Only happy. What he couldn't quite figure out was what his own feelings on the matter were. Unconcerned for the most part, maybe. Whatever happened, happened. There would be another day after that, however things went. Averin could adjust to whatever purpose he had; this he felt sure about, at least. Always the silver lining to find in every situation. He was alive, and he wasn't lost anymore. Good things, so what was a little change in lifestyle to that? If he wasn't certain about his own thoughts about it, then that was something that he needed to figure out for himself. This was not something that he felt he needed to be too concerned about. Then again he was getting the whole thing wrong in this instance, though he has no way to know that at first. He is quiet as he moves along near Only, following and saying nothing more after his question that lingers there in the space between them, unanswered. And maybe the silence is enough for Averin, because he does not ask it again. Doesn't ask any other question in the silence that pans out around them in the autumn breeze. A part of him wanted to reach out and tug gently at Only's mane, but he refrains from the actual action. It was far too forward of him, though he still simply wanted to convey the message that he was accepting of whatever this was and whatever it would be. He had no idea what kind of situation he had found himself in, after all. No clue on how deep and dark it could go. But Averin is content in his role, because it was a role he knew very well. He was good at it, and so it worked out. Averin couldn't place what was going on with Only, because it was clear that something was, just not what. So Averin wasn't sure if he should be nervous or apologising or trying to coax out a smile from Only right now. The uncertainty was knawing at him, and he actually stops when Only speaks again. Confusion darts across his expression, and he half hops to keep up when he can get his legs to work again; ears flicking forward to listen to what Only was saying next. Averin blinks at the way Only says the last bid, but he nods shyly. "As you wish." Is the still confused reply. Averin doesn't understand it all, but he would do as he was told. That underlaying urge to reach out to Only is stronger now, and Averin struggles to hold himself back, because it sounded more like Only wanted to keep space between them. Making sense out of whatever was really going on here did not look very promising to Averin at the moment. He mulls over everything that had been said in the resuming silence, though it didn't last long enough for Averin to come up with anything that shined a light on what he had learned. Or what he had failed to learn, rather. Wide eyes was what answered the things that Only was saying next, and while he had the answer to at least one of the questions, Averin was busy debating the other part; how many out there would want to tear him apart. But why, he wanted to ask, though he doesn't get that far when Only speaks again. Tells him that his name would be Trouble. At this, Averin wilts. Just like an unwatered flower; wings drooping, shoulders slumped, head lowering, ears flopping down. Averin did not want to be trouble in any form of the word, but he cannot argue with a name given to him by his new master, or whatever it should represent. He just takes it quietly, pained by how it makes him feel. He had heard the worry in Only's tone, but it doesn't soothe Averin's churning thoughts. The commands -- this is what he views them to be -- has him sighing. "How, with the caravan; because virgins cost more." He says flatly. The question has long since passed, but he answered it anyway. "I know some about healing plants and herbs, taking care of youngs ones, taking orders and doing small tasks. Surviving." He isn't sure what else there was to say, but that was all that came to mind on the spot. I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

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@Only

[Only]

Averin wilts.
Only frowns.
Stephan scoffs, --he'll never be good enough for what I'd use him for.

That opinion dies at the back of Only's throat, it never makes it to his lips as his pretty neck gulps Stephan's desires down like a goose gobbling bread.  Averin continues on despite Only's terribly-incredible skill of making others around him feel bad.  He walks beside his servant with growing tension.  Together they are not nearly as fluid as a pair of horses ought to be if they are to work with one another, but they'll get there - maybe (maybe not?.  Only still cannot believe that Averin is here with him.  He finds his lips slipping over to lip at a piece of hair before giving it a sharp tug.  There is no response but the weight behind it is real as his servant pulls back with a slight wince.

Only quietly prays that Averin will stay just as much as he hopes that he will run far-far away  - but!

-- but, if the boy runs, Stephan will follow.  Only ponders this as they walk and listens to the steady stream of information that Averin then feeds him.  It provides a useful distraction from the harrowing afterthoughts that Stephan starts carving into the soft inner-wall of Only's skull when he realizes he is actively being ignored.  The quiet chuckle that rattles around in the darker thoughts of his consciousness muddle half of the skills Averin tells him that he has.  By now, Stephan has spray painted his name all over every moral that Only wrote for himself when he chose to exist.  Obnoxious little shit, the insult is dodged, narrowly, and Only does his best to look as sound-minded as someone like Ulric might look even though on the inside he's come to a gunfight with a knife.  

He is beyond help, this louse.  Only walks alone down-river despite having Averin accompany him.  Meanwhile, 

Stephan watches the way those silky white wings roll over Averin's delicate shoulders.  
Pretty, pretty, pretty...how delightful.  How horrifying.  
I'll call him Wing if you won't.  Stephan purrs.

The feathers that ruffle and flare in the breeze attract his vision time and time again - the only time he meets Averin's eyes is now, when Only finally finds it within him to speak again.  A chill slithers slowly down his spine, it creeps around through every frayed nerve Only already has and makes his blood curdle as Stephan lets his own thoughts vent into Only's mind.  Soon they are both looking (and lusting) and wondering what kind of flavor a boy like Averin might taste like if he were to bleed.  

What do his feathers taste like?
Is his skin thick or thin?
That hair would look beautiful woven into Mother's altar cloth.   - an invasive thought breaks the unity between monster and man.

Soon, Only is reeling back from that sinking sensation he gets every time Stephan wants to 'see for himself'.  He is turning and running, the silence breaks quickly when Only slams the door shut to Stephan's horrible altar room, then turns around to face reality again.

"Good,"  somehow Only makes the word sound out of place and awkward.  Something-something about plants and something-something about healing herbs and what was that other thing he said?  "You will run tasks for me and with me, then.  You'll have to familiarize yourself with the areas where edible Flora can be harvested.  Seeds and fruits of each plant, for planting and eating.  There are books in Delumine's capitol city, I trust you can read as well as you can fly."  He attempts a compliment this time, but again, he has perfected the art of sounding terrible.  Perhaps it is Only's short-lipped delivery.  Maybe it is the snarl in his every word from Stephan's childhood smoking habits. 

"You'll have to go alone - of course - and do not speak of our arrangement to anyone.  Will you be ready to do that in the morning for me?"


@Averin

.only
si vis pacem para bellum

There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
For many are called but few are chosen.

[Averin]

averin ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL He isn't sure that he'll be found all that useful, but he lists the things that come to mind at the questioning, oddly unprepared to be put on the spot like that. He was used to the chores he had done for the caravan, but they did not ask questions so much as give orders and expect him to learn quickly whatever task it was that they set him to, if he did not already know how to do whatever it was. And Averin would figure it out in some manner, because there was no good in being a disappointment and the punishments that would follow. Still, Averin should have expected the questions with a new master, but this situation is new to him, and he was struggling to adapt to it as fast as he could as it was. Being on his own these past weeks -- was it really weeks? he cannot be sure -- had been difficult for him, as the notion of being lost brought on extreme anxiety and probably more than a small dose of fear. Yet Averin had endured that, holding onto the thought that he would be found, that Only would come to the river eventually and things would get better. Right now, Averin was speculating on if that was true or not. He did not want to be alone, did not want to be set out for those that would wish to rip him apart, but he isn't entirely sure that Only wanted him that much right now. Too many mixed feelings, mixed signals here to be able to relax the onslaught of his own mind. At least he wasn't in Only's. The sharp tug of his mane gains a wince, but Averin does his best to cover up that jab of pain; to pretend he was unmoved by it altogether. The wince had been involuntary, and it's too late to take the motion back now. He acts as if nothing's wrong, but the silence around them feels uneasy and rife with something. Something sinister, perhaps. Averin doesn't comment on it, and in part that is because he does not actually wish to know that truth. He wasn't ready to hear it, and he might never be. But Only had caught his gaze and Averin isn't sure if he should quickly look away or if that would be more rude in this moment. In the end Averin's gaze darts away from the scrutiny, lands to the dirt in front of them. Looking at the ground felt much more safe in this instance, and he isn't sure why he feels that way. Like something was staring at them, though Averin couldn't guess a direction because it was Only looking at him right now and that was all too distracting. Another one-word from Only and Averin says nothing. He waits it out because the word did not sound like an ending stop, but a precursor to something to come. He was to run tasks, he learns in the moments to tick by next, and Only was giving him information on these tasks, and then the comment of trusting that he could read as well as he could fly. "Rarely and without practice?" He'd blurted it out without thinking, and he ducked his head in shame over it. Shame over both the blurting of it, and the truth of it. That he wasn't that great at flying, hadn't had much practice because to fly was to be able to better escape, and the enforcers of the caravan couldn't have that. Averin is sheepish now. "No, I can read better than I can fly." He amends, not wanting that sliver of blurted sass to get him in trouble, true as it was. But Averin has to focus on the fact that he had to go alone, and could not speak of the arrangement to anyone else. Is that what Only called this? An arrangement? Averin gives Only a side-long glance and a little frown, but he nods in agreement anyway. "Which direction first?" Because there should be some starting point he didn't have to pick for himself. And then there's that nagging little thought that maybe he's said far too much already to at least one other, but it had seemed harmless at the time and Averin would proceed with more caution and keep his mouth shut on the matter. He had never felt the need to hide what he was, because it was merely the way of the world for him. There was some concern in what kind of scrapes he might get into while on his tasks, since there had to be places that getting into might not go so very well for him. Then what would he say? Averin took a calming breath, trying to settle himself in this. He would find out how to get by. He could do that, because it was his orders and he needed to follow those as if his life depended on it. Because it might. I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

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@Only

[Only]

"Averin, I -"  he starts, stops, and swallows the rest of his words.  The longer they go on like this the worse the tension will grow - Only dreads tension more than his own death - so it is with no further adieu that he decides to really break the ice.  "Its not really any of my business to be asking you questions like that I -"  Stephan halts him from saying anymore, Only looks to be bothered by something he's thought of mid-thought.  The way he redirects his words is unusual but he continues on the only way he knows how, by apologizing.

"I'm sorry.  It has been a very difficult transition for me in coming to Novus.  I was very worried your keepers might have - "  

Say it.

Only ignores Stephan's demand. He brushes it off quickly - too quickly - hasn't he made the poor kid feel bad enough already?  Only grimaces inwardly and gives a defeated sigh.

"We'll teach you how to fly - I will find a way.  I'll train you and show you all the trails I take to get from one area to another.  Right now learning the plants will aid us.  We can use it as bargaining powers if we find ourselves in a pinch, not every place is like our new home in Delumine."  


At some point Only turns them away from the river and onto a familiar path which leads the way to Delumine...through a spooky fog-filled forest.  "I'll escort you through the trees - safely. "I'll lead the way - but you'll have to go on your own at some point.  I have some prior engagements I need to see to." Only worries his page won't make it through to the end on his own but he still finds an excuse to tell the poor kid why he has to do it alone - without him.

What a flaky guy - that Only.
What a waste of such lovely black fur.
What rubbish.

He doesn't want to tell Averin about the part where he feels too guilty to go further into the city.  There's blood on his hands.  He's been looting.  He's been scheming.  He's been lying.  Stephan has been running amok in the hours that Only should be asleep.  It is too dangerous to stay - too dangerous to go.

What does a man like Only do in a situation like this?

He doesn't want to remind himself about how much shame he carries for trying to blend in with such honest, good-natured souls.  And for Averin that might seem perfectly fitting - all the more reason for Only to escort the winged-wonder.  They walk in such sovereign silence as heavier burdens leaden the corners of his already-grim expression down-down-down until he is nothing but frowns.

"We will be there soon - keep your eyes sharp for signs to the Dawn Court.  Learn to recognize them through the fog - lowlands like this will never be clear of it."  

.only

@Averin

+

[Averin]

averin ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL The cut off words from Only has Averin stealing glances at the stallion, wondering what Only had been about to say but knowing better than to press the issue. There was something about Only that made Averin not want to push at much of anything that could be bothersome. He is aware of how tense things seem between them, though Averin doesn't mean for it to be that way. He's too shy, too much of a shut-in by enforcer design to grasp how to try and make it better, to be better at conversations and social interactions in general. He's not, and there wasn't much he could do about it this second, though he was telling himself that he needed to learn, to figure it out. Averin oddly wanted to make Only smile. He doesn't know why, and he shoves the feeling down when Only began to speak again. Another adrupt stop, and Averin is stumbling over himself in words to try and make it all okay; "Of course it's your business. You are my master, and anything about me is now your business." He shrugged, ducked his head again to peer sideways at Only once more. Part of him is concerned that Only wouldn't like the title, as this situation had been called an 'arrangement' by the stallion only a few moments ago. Did it bother Only that this was what it was? That Averin had been traded, sold, to him? Averin wouldn't ask that, though. He would keep his thoughts on that to himself for now, unless Only brought it up. Keepers. Only had started again, calling the caravan enforcers keepers, and even that hadn't been a finished though put to words. Averin frowns, because he wishes he knew what Only was about to say on it, but it's soon clear that he will not get to know whatever it had been. He tucks the thoughts away to ponder for another time, as Only was saying that they'd -- they'd? -- teach Averin to fly, that Only would find a way. Would show him all the trails. Averin doesn't comment on this, he simply nods and continues to listen to what he is being told. Learning the plants was a need to do first and foremost, it seemed, and Averin was good enough at that, would find some sort of pleasure in learning it. They turn from the river and the fog was a little unsettling, but Averin does not complain, because he trusts that Only knows where he's going, what he's doing. Seconds later and Only was telling Averin that he would be escorted through the trees, but then Averin would be on his own while Only dealt with prior engagements. "Okay." Was all Averin replies to this, having a goal or two in mind on what he would be doing once he was set off alone again. Part of him hates the idea of being by himself again -- he had lived with a caravan for so long full of others around all the time, and so this made Averin gulp and pretend that everything was alright anyway. Takes the time between words to steel himself to it all. To the idea of being alone out there again, knowing too few, trusting even less. Averin doesn't know who or what Only really was, though at this point is wouldn't even matter if he did. Only was his mater, and he would follow the stallion through whatever it was that Only got into. Unless he was sent away, of course. A direct order had to be taken and completed, and he'd already been given one. He was told that they would soon be there, to keep his eyes shapr for the Danw Court, to learn to recognize it through the fog. Another nod, because Averin did not yet trust himself to speak, lest he try to beg Only not to leave him alone again so soon. There was nothing to be done for it, and eventually Averin was going off on his own to seek and search. [end] I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

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@Only