IN STARLIT NIGHTS I SAW YOU, He could still see their faces. Everyone that he killed stay etched within his mind. It had gotten so bad that he no longer remembered the faces of his loved ones. They had been pushed back into nothing. All he could remember of them were the emotions he felt while watching them die. How they cried for help and he could not save them. Those feelings were all he had left. So despite still living and being free, he started to wonder if they won after all. Jaeren could no longer recognize himself or what he was fighting for other than what his commander commanded of him or his king. He remembered wanting to be with them. Tempted to let himself die back in his youth but his captors would not allow it. The first few fights he would just take all the beatings. There would be nothing left of him but he was never killed. There was no sport if he just stood there and in their eyes, death was too easy. They wanted to destroy him. He remembered hanging onto a new feeling. Revenge. Getting his chance to make those who wronged him suffer. It became all he could think about. In the end, they might have won. He lost his past. His loved ones' faces gone and the reason to fight put behind him. They were dead. All of them, so where did that leave him now? Revenge was not sweet. It does not fill the hole but makes a larger one. He could try to end his life now, but what would be the point of all his suffering? To lose himself and than give up. What kind of man did that make him? So he trained and made weapons for his brother's in arms. It was the only thing he could do that gave him some kind of purpose after all these years. He stood on a small foothill overlooking the plains, his ruby colored gaze sharp and intelligent..but void of feeling. He didn't dare show much emotion except around his brothers. "speaking colour" @username |
