I wake as the shadows begin to grow long.
It does not take long for reality to sink its teeth in me and I remember- I am trapped here. Not just in this land but in this body. I am quiet now, calm if not comfortable. When I first landed, my grief was not silent. My grief was loud and violent and tore through me like a hurricane. But when the worst of it passed, I felt a little better, a little more in control. I now blink tear-worn eyes and look ahead. The land before me is vast and foreign. Intimidating. The world seems so much smaller when sea or sky is your domain.
My skin crawls and I think I will be sick again.
I look to the sky hopefully- but of course my flock is long gone. They were drawn to the inexplicable North, drawn there without needing to think. As simple and unquestioned as breathing. Is it my desire to be with them that hurts me now? Or is that call the birds feel, the compass in my chest guiding me to the summer home?
An egret rises with porcelain grace, my heart rising with it- and as it turns to the West I lose it to the setting sun. I turn my gaze inward, and the truth is still there, as hard and ugly as it was before I fell asleep:
My beautiful fusion with the world is over.
But these downward trending thoughts are cut short when my equine ears (excellent, compared to a bird's- I give this land-locked body that much) pick up a rustle in the bushes. I turn to face the sound, weak eyes struggling to recognize what lies in the shadows. Instinct tells me to run but I will not. In the complete consumption of my misery, my anger, my loss, I still have not realized the magnitude of the situation I am in. Death is now just a foolish mistake away, and I have forgotten how to be afraid of it.
Maybe I will learn fear again.
Or maybe I will die.
The only sound I make is a low growl, the warning kind a tiger makes. I can almost feel my claws flexing, sinking into the green earth. Is it just a memory or are they there for a moment? Can I smell the blood that approaches?-- I almost let hope drown me. Instead I stamp a heavy hoof, feel the force shiver in the ground underneath me. It is more a reminder for myself than whatever approaches- there is weakness in this body, but there is strength too.
@Cyrene <3 on the road from Solterra to Terrastella
