So this was it.
A small, sad smile played over the stallion's full, darkened lips as he stood upon the sands, gazing out at the sea with the lowering sun casting golden nets of light upon his back. He stood there in silence, shadow stretching long before him and reaching out to the hissing waters like a child reaching for their mother. Ah, but the mother retreats again and again, leaving behind her brood, came his bitter thoughts, brow creased and eyes heavy with the weight of something akin to resentment. Camdis Lohir wondered yet again what it could have been to stay behind, to be a father to his children, to not know regret with every beat of his heart and loathing with every breath.
The mother returns, though, again and again. The father, on the other hand...
His thoughts trailed off as his throat became thick, emotion clogging his ability to breathe for a moment before he clamped those tumultuous eyes shut, shoving it all away. Yes, he was running from the past that still dogged his heels. Yes, he would continue to ignore the grieving process. Yes, he would convince himself that he was doing the right thing when everything in his wretched heart screamed that he was wrongwrongwrongwrong like a distorted lullaby.
No, he was never going to face those voices and he would never face his own heart.
Some demons lurked too close to the truth, and some truths were too big, the drop too far, the depths too deep.
Camdis Lohir feared what would happen the day his past caught up to him.
But for now, here, on the edge of the world, he would find what respite he could. He would release what he could into the salt and foam of the sea and pray that it did not return to him, as the sea did the shore. He would pray that eventually, somehow, he could be free of himself.
A small, sad smile played over the stallion's full, darkened lips as he stood upon the sands, gazing out at the sea with the lowering sun casting golden nets of light upon his back. He stood there in silence, shadow stretching long before him and reaching out to the hissing waters like a child reaching for their mother. Ah, but the mother retreats again and again, leaving behind her brood, came his bitter thoughts, brow creased and eyes heavy with the weight of something akin to resentment. Camdis Lohir wondered yet again what it could have been to stay behind, to be a father to his children, to not know regret with every beat of his heart and loathing with every breath.
The mother returns, though, again and again. The father, on the other hand...
His thoughts trailed off as his throat became thick, emotion clogging his ability to breathe for a moment before he clamped those tumultuous eyes shut, shoving it all away. Yes, he was running from the past that still dogged his heels. Yes, he would continue to ignore the grieving process. Yes, he would convince himself that he was doing the right thing when everything in his wretched heart screamed that he was wrongwrongwrongwrong like a distorted lullaby.
No, he was never going to face those voices and he would never face his own heart.
Some demons lurked too close to the truth, and some truths were too big, the drop too far, the depths too deep.
Camdis Lohir feared what would happen the day his past caught up to him.
But for now, here, on the edge of the world, he would find what respite he could. He would release what he could into the salt and foam of the sea and pray that it did not return to him, as the sea did the shore. He would pray that eventually, somehow, he could be free of himself.
