When he begins to laugh, she is unsure. She did not think that her love was worth laughing about. Perhaps she had said something wrong in her question? Was she not supposed to ask how he knew she loved him before even she truly knew. Perhaps if she had listened to her feelings instead of trying to fight them, maybe she would have realized that she loved Metaphor sooner and she might have told him before they were ripped apart. But all of that was in the past and all she could do now was tell him her feelings. But now she felt insecure…until he started talking.
She listened to him speak and she supposed he was right. She had felt so much at home when he was around. He had made things easier for her. He knew more about her than she probably knew about herself. Was that love? “I suppose you’re right.” She hadn’t even realized that she loved him when she did all those things. It took her so long to finally understand. “For so long I told myself love was weakness…that it would never bring my girls to me…that it would never win me a war.” For so long she had shut off all feelings (at least she told herself that she did). It made her think that she was a better warrior, a better protector of Elysian. In reality, it was her love for Metaphor that made Elysian home. “…but when I was stripped away from you…that’s when I realized I loved you. I immediately regret being too stupid to not have known and never telling you.” She regretted two things in life: never telling Metaphor that she loved him and abandoning her daughters. While she now had Metaphor, she would never have her daughters back. She didn’t even know if they were alive.
As Katniss begins to lead him towards Denocte, she tells him about Novus, about the Night Court, and about Isra. His question has her nodding her head softly. “I believe she will. She accepted my help without question.” While Isra was still a mystery to her, she was beginning to understand more about the queen. Denocte was not like Elysian, but it was home for now.
She tells him that she has pledged herself a soldier of Denocte. Fighting was all she knew so it was only natural that she fell into that same role here. His question has her shaking her head softly. “Not in physical combat…” Her voice trails off slightly as she tries to sum up the last few months in just a few short sentences. “I had to protect from the Gods. They are not as kind and forgiving as Gods should be.” She thinks about the lightning storm, about the thunder birds, and about how Caligo left them without any sort of direction. “But the sun has risen on a new day. Anything is possible.” She supposed that in time, alliances would shift and she would truly be needed to fight. Until then, she would relish the peace.
As they walked, Katniss moved closer to him, making sure her shoulder brushed against his own. As much as she might not realize it now, the key to righting her wrong with her daughters would be to welcome a new child - a child that would be welcomed and never forgotten, a child would know the love of his or her mother (and father). Katniss does not yet realize that she has this desire. But when the flowers begin to bloom in the springtime, her love for Metaphor was sure to blossom into something more.
As they head father south, farther away from the plains and toward the mountain pass that leads to Denocte, Katniss looks back at Metaphor. “Isra wants to promote me, as soon as I have spared. She wants to see my talent.” She pauses a moment. “That spar is coming up with a stallion of the Dusk Court - his name is Asterion.” If Katniss was being truthful with herself, she might come to realize that she was infatuated with Asterion. And if Metaphor had not come back, perhaps she might have moved on and found comfort with the Dusk king. He was a pleasant stallion, friendly and easy to talk to. They were similar, Asterion and she.
@Metaphor
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