[AW] -- alone with all that's on my mind;

[Lasairian]

is this a natural feeling or is it just me bleeding?

Finding something worthwhile to throw oneself in was not something that should be done without thought, but Lasairian had felt too deeply about his studies at a young age to be able to see past it. He had known quickly what he had wanted to do, what he wanted to put his time and effort into. Maybe being here had wasted a lot of that, simply because Lasairian had lost the magic he had once held and honed, but the knowledge of it was still something that couldn't be taken away from him. He would always have that, and he would keep building upon it. That wasn't something that he meant to change. It was a part of him.

Yet he also had the medical side to fall back on, and the basics of it that had very little to do with magic. That was why he had gone for the position of medic, why he took that option here. Because he knew what he was doing at that non magic level of things, and it had been very much a part of his studies before, too. Yes, a lot of it had been magic infused and all, but Lasairian had still learned about all the helpful types of plants and herbs, how they should be prepared and applied. Things that did not need magic to work, just were helped when enhanced by it if need be. That was something Lasairian could do here, now.

And it held connections to his past that might be painful, but it was also a way to honor the good parts of that past; to honor the mentor that he'd had. It made sense to do this, go this route, for all of those reasons. So, that was what he had thrown himself into. What he researched the most these days, because he did want to get better at it, did want to reach for something above what he was now. There were different branches to choose from once he got to a certain point, but even here and now he had not decided which would be best for himself and others. But he would get there.

Just not today, while he was going down the shelves, looking up, down and across, seeking out that one book that would call to him above all others. There were several interesting titles that he would have to eventually come back for, but nothing that really jumped at him yet. Lasairian was always looking to expand his knowledge, but there were almost endless books here in this library, and he felt that it would take years and years to get through half of them. How many shelves were just dedicated to magic or medical subjects? Enough to keep him busy with those for a long time, no matter how fast he read.

Still, he had taken his break from that for this, because it did feel like there was some sort of guiding force there with him after coming to these lands, and he wanted to see how far that could go. So Lasairian kept looking, going down the line, the rows and rows upon books. No, nope, nope, he would come back for that later, no, not that, nope— Wait. Someone had spoken, quiet as it was, and it had Lasairian pausing in step to glance towards the sound of the voice, seeing the shadow shaded pegasus there, hearing the question posed to him. What was he looking for. Lasairian smiled warmly back, "something that calls out to me. Something unlike the rest," he responded lightly, looking at the other curiously.

tag — @Mateo

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