She is looking over that ledge, thinking and contemplating just how easy it would be to take a step off of the rocky edge and fall. She thinks about how easy it would be to be with Metaphor again if she just took one more step. But then she thinks of how hard it will be to leave her son with no one. The child does not understand why he has no father, only that he is the only one who doesn’t have one. He doesn’t understand the love or sacrifice his father has made for him…for her even. She cannot leave him. She cannot give him more unanswered questions. No matter how hard her heart aches for Metaphor, she knows this cannot be her end. She has so much to live for.
She would never really take that step, that step that sent her back into her lover’s embrace. With all that Katniss has experienced in her lifetime, never has she actually contemplated a quick end. It was far too easy, far too cowardly. She is a warrior first and foremost. She does not quit anything, only pushes harder to overcome. This period in her life is just one more obstacle she must conquer. It is just one more thing that will eventually grow her stronger.
She hears his footsteps before he speaks, the only indication of her acknowledgement of him was the way her ears flick back to ear the soft footsteps he takes as he comes towards her. She supposed this did not look exactly innocent, even when it truly had been. She had come to a sliding stop, just at the edge.
As he speaks, she slowly turns her head to look at him, a voice that perhaps she has heard a time or two, but a name that does not quickly come to mind. Her eyes settle on him for a moment before they flutter back to the cliff side below. She sighs, the feeling of relief washing over her. There was someone here to distract her, to keep her thoughts pure. “Aye.” It was a beautiful view. She had come here with Metaphor to watch the sunrise and the sunset. She had visited when she wanted to look down at her court and be thankful for all that she had been given. She is thankful, she supposes, for the opportunity to stand here in awe and wonder. Not everyone had such freedom.
He introduces himself as Eik and Katniss knows who he is. She knows how much he means to Isra and for a moment, her heart aches. She is angry that Isra still has her lover and she has been left with nothing. But she cannot be angry at Eik or Isra for circumstances that they (nor she for that matter) could control. Instead, she smiles at him as she slowly turns to face him more fully, putting her back to the edge.
But it is the way he offers his service that gets to her. The title is so formal, demanding a sense of respect that she does not think she has earned or that she deserves. “Please, it’s just Katniss.” Even though she out ranks him on paper, in her eyes, all soldiers are her equals. She was no better than the next. They were one team and she was only chosen to help lead and guide them. But at the core of everything, they were all soldiers.
She takes a step towards him, putting distance between herself and the edge. She can taste the thin air, her lungs still trying to oxygenate her tissues in this high altitude. She thinks of what she wants to tell him and she cannot come up with anything. It doesn’t feel right to address the edge, not with a stranger who won’t understand where she’s coming from. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you formally.” She was terrible at small talk, but she supposed this was a safe topic, one that would not cause inner turmoil. “Welcome to Denocte. I’m sure Isra is happy you have come to live here.” She feels bad for any that were pushed out under Raum’s regime. The tyrant, thankfully, had been put in his place. But Katniss does not forget that he was once a Nigh Court citizen. Who else in Denocte had such a dark and bitter heart? Surely there were more. Surely it was not just Raum who was unhappy here. But that was another witch hunt for another day. Quite frankly, Katniss did not have the energy for a crusade today.
@Eik
