B e l o w Z e r o
the cold never bothered me anyway
Bel was glad for Sol's company on what she should have known would not be an easy mourning to do. Sure the candles and the pedestal of the items from the sea to mark her mother and sister had been relaxing to build, if not painful - but nothing compared to the gaping hole of her chest that grew larger with each painful stab of regret, and self-inflicted blame. She had betrayed and left her sister for dead on the ice. She had abandoned her to the elements, and no words of release from that guilt from anyone else would shake those beliefs from her. She was at fault. She was to blame. She would forever hold that blame.
Sol had urged her away, talking of the warmth of the fires as if that would ease the problem, would make her feel better. She had allowed him to direct her, half sheltering from the cold breeze through his much larger body that could serve as a wind protector. Her own vapors shifted warmer in temperature to keep the aquatic-equine from getting to cold when a voice from the post shouted her name.Below Zero! The full length of her name, spoken in a voice that had matured from what she knew in her memory. Bel froze, even her tail had gone still as her limbs seemed to lock up. Her eyes grew wide and her breath left her in a frightened pant of fear, and denial. No. Not her voice. Not her. Not here.
The voice had been filled with pain, with fury; and Bel's eyes suddenly squeezed shut, and a shiver raised down her spine, her dorsal fin suddenly folding to press flat against her back, her tail curling as if to hug her back legs - making her smaller, as if to hide from the spirit that wanted to rain hell-fire down on her - for surely that was what would be awaiting her. What else was she due for betraying her sister and leaving her to die. She may not have given the death sentence, but she might as well have fed her to the sharks herself. Bel was terrified, terrified to turn around, terrified to face the spectre that likely would drag her back to Davy's Locker at any moment. Not that she didn't deserve it. "Polar . . . ." The name fell from her muzzle, her tone soft with regret, heavy with disbelief.
She hesitated before glancing slowly over her shoulder, seeing the adult in Polar's design staring her down and Bel's breath caught again, the shaking starting up again. No, no, no, no . . . . Her breath was even, bordering on a panic attack as she spun to face the ghost more directly, almost tripping over her hooves and stumbling. The fire in the distance licked color along their coats that were meant to mimic the colors of water, but Bel felt no heat. Her blood had turned to ice as she stared at the spirit - for surely this wass Pol's spirit come to make her suffer for breaking her promise. "N-no . . . you . . . you're . . . n-no."
Bel's voice was broken, halting, even as she stumbled a half step back, tears welling in her eyes, shaking her head violently as if that would disrupt the vision in front of her. But it didn't. Pol still stood there, still stood there staring her down. And then Bel saw the small signs of life, the breath, the tears in the corner of her own eyes, and her breath caught again, "Y-your dead . . . T-they made me l-leave you. You . . . N-no. Y-you can't be h-here. Y-you c-can't." Bel had side stepped, a step closer to the dark stallion, his flaming hooves sizzling as the flames came in contact with the water vapors her own heels produced. She tried to focus on that sound, to use it to ground herself in the moment, to keep the shock from growing worse. But her breath was still heavy - still uneven. Her legs were still shaking, her eyes were dotting with black. "Y-you're here . . . f-from the b-beyond aren't y-you. Y-you're here to . . . . p-punish me . . . for m-my sins. B-because I killed y-you. Y-you're here . . . . b-because I killed you." The last words were said in a breathy rush even as Bel hit her knees, her head tucking close against her chest, breath still panting, panic attack increasing, and being buried under the weight of her guilt and regret and pain.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." The words suddenly feel from her muzzle like a breathless, weak mantra, as if she'd said them so many time before, in so many different settings, so many different moonless nights, before the candles from before. The tears from before were back again, streaming down from her eyes, wetting her cheek with the saline solution as she kept her knees folded under her. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." It had been her fault. She had killed her sister, and now her sister was here to condemn her for it . . . and she didn't deserve any less. "I'm so sorry."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS WAS TO WRITE T.T
Sol had urged her away, talking of the warmth of the fires as if that would ease the problem, would make her feel better. She had allowed him to direct her, half sheltering from the cold breeze through his much larger body that could serve as a wind protector. Her own vapors shifted warmer in temperature to keep the aquatic-equine from getting to cold when a voice from the post shouted her name.
The voice had been filled with pain, with fury; and Bel's eyes suddenly squeezed shut, and a shiver raised down her spine, her dorsal fin suddenly folding to press flat against her back, her tail curling as if to hug her back legs - making her smaller, as if to hide from the spirit that wanted to rain hell-fire down on her - for surely that was what would be awaiting her. What else was she due for betraying her sister and leaving her to die. She may not have given the death sentence, but she might as well have fed her to the sharks herself. Bel was terrified, terrified to turn around, terrified to face the spectre that likely would drag her back to Davy's Locker at any moment. Not that she didn't deserve it. "Polar . . . ." The name fell from her muzzle, her tone soft with regret, heavy with disbelief.
She hesitated before glancing slowly over her shoulder, seeing the adult in Polar's design staring her down and Bel's breath caught again, the shaking starting up again. No, no, no, no . . . . Her breath was even, bordering on a panic attack as she spun to face the ghost more directly, almost tripping over her hooves and stumbling. The fire in the distance licked color along their coats that were meant to mimic the colors of water, but Bel felt no heat. Her blood had turned to ice as she stared at the spirit - for surely this wass Pol's spirit come to make her suffer for breaking her promise. "N-no . . . you . . . you're . . . n-no."
Bel's voice was broken, halting, even as she stumbled a half step back, tears welling in her eyes, shaking her head violently as if that would disrupt the vision in front of her. But it didn't. Pol still stood there, still stood there staring her down. And then Bel saw the small signs of life, the breath, the tears in the corner of her own eyes, and her breath caught again, "Y-your dead . . . T-they made me l-leave you. You . . . N-no. Y-you can't be h-here. Y-you c-can't." Bel had side stepped, a step closer to the dark stallion, his flaming hooves sizzling as the flames came in contact with the water vapors her own heels produced. She tried to focus on that sound, to use it to ground herself in the moment, to keep the shock from growing worse. But her breath was still heavy - still uneven. Her legs were still shaking, her eyes were dotting with black. "Y-you're here . . . f-from the b-beyond aren't y-you. Y-you're here to . . . . p-punish me . . . for m-my sins. B-because I killed y-you. Y-you're here . . . . b-because I killed you." The last words were said in a breathy rush even as Bel hit her knees, her head tucking close against her chest, breath still panting, panic attack increasing, and being buried under the weight of her guilt and regret and pain.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." The words suddenly feel from her muzzle like a breathless, weak mantra, as if she'd said them so many time before, in so many different settings, so many different moonless nights, before the candles from before. The tears from before were back again, streaming down from her eyes, wetting her cheek with the saline solution as she kept her knees folded under her. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." It had been her fault. She had killed her sister, and now her sister was here to condemn her for it . . . and she didn't deserve any less. "I'm so sorry."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS WAS TO WRITE T.T
![[Image: i-jTNwWx8.png]](https://photos.smugmug.com/BelowZeroNovus/n-X9d9fZ/i-jTNwWx8/1/e09fb6c3/O/i-jTNwWx8.png)
