Eik was not much for rank and file. But he grasped for some way-- any way-- to define himself that was not former Emissary of Solterra or Sovereign’s Lover. Not that it made much of a difference; people defined him how they wished, and in the end he had little to no say in the matter. Society stifled him. The bones of civilization were just another cage, but at least they were one of his choosing. “A necessary evil,” he told himself. “To be who you are now.”
Really he wanted to live free from it all. No walls. No fire. No kings, queens, emissaries. No wars, and by extension no peace. Just… the horizon. The endless horizon. And, from time to time, the edge of the veil that shrouds us all.
One could argue that what he wanted was a lot like death.
But like Katniss he could never take that leap. He was too noble, too proud, too wildly in love with life’s tragedy. “Nice to meet you, Katniss.” He nods his head again, like a soldier, the action too ingrained in him to not come naturally.
“You know, my daughters are upset with me.” A small smile lingers. He was helpless to it, every time he said the word daughters. It came without thought, easy as closing one’s eyes against the falling rain. “I told them once that boys are dangerous and horrible. They’re calling me a liar now, because they met a nice boy named Kibou and he’s nothing like what I said he would be.” Eik did not like to talk.
(Correction: before his daughters, Eik did not like to talk.
Now, he found himself babbling to complete strangers. He always had something to say of his daughters-- what they had done recently (it was a time of constant firsts), how quickly they had grown, the funny and insightful things they said.)
“... It will pass, right?” Eik had assumed as much, that their emotions would come and go like stormclouds. But gods, they were stubborn, and violently moral, and they had been so shocked by his lie (which had been half in jest, he hadn’t realized how they took it to heart) he began to worry that the wound of his betrayal would never heal.
art by sweet Sidly Sid
Really he wanted to live free from it all. No walls. No fire. No kings, queens, emissaries. No wars, and by extension no peace. Just… the horizon. The endless horizon. And, from time to time, the edge of the veil that shrouds us all.
One could argue that what he wanted was a lot like death.
But like Katniss he could never take that leap. He was too noble, too proud, too wildly in love with life’s tragedy. “Nice to meet you, Katniss.” He nods his head again, like a soldier, the action too ingrained in him to not come naturally.
“You know, my daughters are upset with me.” A small smile lingers. He was helpless to it, every time he said the word daughters. It came without thought, easy as closing one’s eyes against the falling rain. “I told them once that boys are dangerous and horrible. They’re calling me a liar now, because they met a nice boy named Kibou and he’s nothing like what I said he would be.” Eik did not like to talk.
(Correction: before his daughters, Eik did not like to talk.
Now, he found himself babbling to complete strangers. He always had something to say of his daughters-- what they had done recently (it was a time of constant firsts), how quickly they had grown, the funny and insightful things they said.)
“... It will pass, right?” Eik had assumed as much, that their emotions would come and go like stormclouds. But gods, they were stubborn, and violently moral, and they had been so shocked by his lie (which had been half in jest, he hadn’t realized how they took it to heart) he began to worry that the wound of his betrayal would never heal.
@
Time makes fools of us all
