tenebrae
let everything happen to you, beauty and terror, just keep going, no feeling is final
How long has he walked like a spirit just released from the blanched underworld? The colours, the sights of Denocte arrest him in ways they have not before. Even the Night Order’s bare bone walls of grey stone seem filled with a myriad hues he has never taken the time to see before. He left his room, the summons lying open upon his small desk. Upon it was written an explanation, but all that matters was the date. Three days from now.
Now he knows, now he knows to look and see and drink in the vitality of the earth, the sky, the sea… How many times has one looked and never seen? There is colour in everything, beauty in everything. Never will he see a smile again. Nevermore will he see a tear roll down a cheek. Or see how one glows when they see love bloom like a rose.
You do no deserve to look on me, Boudika had said. He knows she is right. He holds in his mind the painting of her hurt. The beautiful ferocity of her rage. Tenebrae lets it eviscerate his heart and soul. He does not go to find her, though he wants to, he yearns to. The need is destroying him, it consumes him. Yet he will sit with an eternity of remembering how she looked at him. Such desperate hurt he had inflicted. And Elena, oh Elena. Her brightness is seared into him, her golden heart, warm and now broken. Tenebrae does not deserve to look upon either of them. He knows. He does not find them, though it kills him, though his desire is wildfire within his bones.
Instead he roams inland, to where the lake stretches open and beautiful as a mirror. He is lost in its beauty, its reflection when he hears a cry and a splash. Blood seeps into the water, bright as a ruby. It diffuses as smoke through the water and Tenebrae looks to its source. The sight of a man limping out of the water greets him. The monk turns, his course set. In moments he is beside the man, darkness billows of from the Night Order Disciple. It presses cool upon the wound, curious as a cat. “That is deep.” Tenebrae observes. “You will need treatment in case it gets infected. Can you walk? The mountains are close and I can get you help there, it is a bit of a climb, but worth it if you can weightbear?’
