At least it didn’t hurt. I guess I’m thankful for that. In fact it was the opposite of pain- I didn’t feel much at all. You’d think it would feel cold, given all the ghost stories and such, but it was just… nothingness. Even when the fireflies came, something expressive and apologetic in the meandering path they took to land on us, I felt nothing. I looked to Leonidas and saw his ghostly image looking back at me, and my heart sank.
The strangest part about the whole ordeal was not knowing where I began and ended. I could still see my body, although just barely. It was transparent and colorless, not that there was much color in it to begin with, and although I could see straight through it there was a definite, if subtle, edge where my flesh ended. (If you could still call it flesh?) But even though I could look down and see the outline of my body, and know where it ended, where it touched the flowing water and where it met the cool air, I could not feel these things. Not only had I lost all sensation of temperature and texture, I had no sense of my body’s size or scale. I could be the river itself, or the earth or sky. With my eyes closed, I could be everywhere or nowhere- smile how could I know without feeling?
Leonidas’ touch went right through me, and my heart trembled with fear.
I moved what I thought was my cheek right up alongside his. When I stayed there and closed my eyes, I almost thought I could feel the warmth of him, reaching for the warmth in me. It wasn’t fair, we were just children. We had our whole lives ahead of us. Would we never again be able to feel the earth under our hooves? Would we never again touch another?
What had become of us? What would become of us? The river was supposed to make it better...
“Oh, it… we’re still… are we ghosts?” My voice sounded too casual. I think if I were alone I would have collapsed into a puddle of tears right then and there. The river would sweep me out to sea and I would become one with the waves. (It was not the worst fate- I had always secretly wanted to dance as they did.) But I was not alone, and I had to be strong for Leonidas just as I would be strong for my sister if she was there.
“Come on, I know a healer who lives in Delumine. I’m sure she can help us.” I didn’t personally know her, but Eik had told me of a friend named @Corrdelia, and that she had moved to Dawn. I also had no idea where to find her, but that was a problem that could be solved. I really just needed something to do, I needed action, or else the gravity of the situation would suck me in and I would be lost to despair.
I drew away from Leonidas, gave him the bravest smile I could muster, and turned to walk-float?- out of the river and toward the flickering lights of the court outskirts, where most of the populace was making merry. I envied them, all those strangers so sweetly oblivious to the terrors of the night. I couldn’t go back to that frame of mind. I never would.
Long after my body returned (solid, warm, and real; prone to tripping and bruising; kissable and breakable) I would think of that night and its deathliness, its deception, and something in me would sharpen on the whetstone of memory.
FIRE!
@
