and bury it before it buries me
Elena had grown up wild, free, a honeyed spirit that did not know how the world treated such wild and free things, fearless little things. She did not know how the world captures them, butterfly in a net. How they watch the struggle, flutter those pretty wings, holding that net fast until that pretty thing, that wild thing, that free thing, finally stops its fluttering, tired, worn. And it takes the spirit away, reaching inside its heart, and it takes that beautiful spirit and tries to place it inside their own chest, only to have it die inside them. And now there are two dead things left.
And it started with a butterfly, a net, and the world.
She would keep her in this cocoon forever if she could. She would wrap her in the soft fabrics of forever, she would shut out the rest of the world and not lose sleep for a moment. She would stay in this dreamland, this island, with only the three of them. And she would let no net touch her butterfly, her daughter. But she knows that Elliana is destined to seek out so many beautiful flowers in her life, and it would be such a shame to stop her, all for the fear of a net.
She feels so many emotions slipping from him and onto her, but she doesn't want to feel them, doesn't want to know. For once, Elena wants to look at his face, at his eyes, his lips, and guess at what he feels inside his chest. And she finds those teal eyes with her own of blue. “Someone’s eyes are the closest you will ever be to seeing inside them, Elena.” Cherish told her once. And Elena believes her now, looking into him.
Maybe they knew each other before time began. When everything was just glimmering dust, floating about on cosmic winds. Maybe they were neighboring stars that yearned for one another and they stretched and stretched until they left galaxies in their wake. Until they became the North Star and the Sun.
“No,” she says, a single word. She folds Elliana into her as if she were hurt, but the only one hurt by this one syllable in Elena herself. “He chose his goddess—in doing that, he would never choose her.” Us, she wants to say, but doesn’t, because it doesn't matter now, she tells herself it does not matter.
The seconds seem like millennia.
The stretch and stretch and stretch—until she feels like surely her reality will snap and she will be sent spinning into the sun. She wonders if he will just turn around and leave. She wonders if maybe he will finally be done with her—she is so deeply done with herself—and just slip back into the shadows.
Maybe this was a fever dream after all.
But, eventually, she hears the sound of his breath so close to her. She feels the way that the air seems to be pushed by his presence. She swallows hard and glances up, feeling her heart trapped in her throat. When he is near her, she curls into him without thinking. It is instinctual and she cannot help but feel like it it drawing her first breath after spending so long underwater—so long drowning.
She cannot help but notice how easily Elliana fits in between them.
Her sudden inhale and exhale is heady and she closes her eyes. Everything within her twists tight around the feeling; everything within her nearly shatters with the relief. “Don’t apologize,” she says and it is almost a laugh. It is almost a broken sound as she presses in tighter to him, so hungry for the warmth that only he can bring. She smiles, all rainwater and fresh springs. “Azrael,” her name trips on her tongue in the sheer joy of seeing him, of being near him again. “Azrael,” she tests his name again, wondering at how it tastes like salvation, at how it soothes the rawness in her throat. “I feel as though I am a curse to you rather than a blessing.” She admits it. “I don’t deserve to have you so close to me after all this time,” she says.
What now? He asks.
“We stay here forever.” She says.
“Or until the sun rises.”
A story begins, one she has not come to an ending. One that keeps going, page after page after page…
And it started with a butterfly, a net, and the world.
She would keep her in this cocoon forever if she could. She would wrap her in the soft fabrics of forever, she would shut out the rest of the world and not lose sleep for a moment. She would stay in this dreamland, this island, with only the three of them. And she would let no net touch her butterfly, her daughter. But she knows that Elliana is destined to seek out so many beautiful flowers in her life, and it would be such a shame to stop her, all for the fear of a net.
She feels so many emotions slipping from him and onto her, but she doesn't want to feel them, doesn't want to know. For once, Elena wants to look at his face, at his eyes, his lips, and guess at what he feels inside his chest. And she finds those teal eyes with her own of blue. “Someone’s eyes are the closest you will ever be to seeing inside them, Elena.” Cherish told her once. And Elena believes her now, looking into him.
Maybe they knew each other before time began. When everything was just glimmering dust, floating about on cosmic winds. Maybe they were neighboring stars that yearned for one another and they stretched and stretched until they left galaxies in their wake. Until they became the North Star and the Sun.
“No,” she says, a single word. She folds Elliana into her as if she were hurt, but the only one hurt by this one syllable in Elena herself. “He chose his goddess—in doing that, he would never choose her.” Us, she wants to say, but doesn’t, because it doesn't matter now, she tells herself it does not matter.
The seconds seem like millennia.
The stretch and stretch and stretch—until she feels like surely her reality will snap and she will be sent spinning into the sun. She wonders if he will just turn around and leave. She wonders if maybe he will finally be done with her—she is so deeply done with herself—and just slip back into the shadows.
Maybe this was a fever dream after all.
But, eventually, she hears the sound of his breath so close to her. She feels the way that the air seems to be pushed by his presence. She swallows hard and glances up, feeling her heart trapped in her throat. When he is near her, she curls into him without thinking. It is instinctual and she cannot help but feel like it it drawing her first breath after spending so long underwater—so long drowning.
She cannot help but notice how easily Elliana fits in between them.
Her sudden inhale and exhale is heady and she closes her eyes. Everything within her twists tight around the feeling; everything within her nearly shatters with the relief. “Don’t apologize,” she says and it is almost a laugh. It is almost a broken sound as she presses in tighter to him, so hungry for the warmth that only he can bring. She smiles, all rainwater and fresh springs. “Azrael,” her name trips on her tongue in the sheer joy of seeing him, of being near him again. “Azrael,” she tests his name again, wondering at how it tastes like salvation, at how it soothes the rawness in her throat. “I feel as though I am a curse to you rather than a blessing.” She admits it. “I don’t deserve to have you so close to me after all this time,” she says.
What now? He asks.
“We stay here forever.” She says.
“Or until the sun rises.”
A story begins, one she has not come to an ending. One that keeps going, page after page after page…
so take away this apathy
bury it before it buries me
@Azrael <3
![[Image: ddvotwe-59302ba6-6a81-47bf-9846-30c5a5db...0iFb4PvyXE]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/8026a53b-dc57-41ab-b574-9f8a8fe57ce4/ddvotwe-59302ba6-6a81-47bf-9846-30c5a5db0780.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzgwMjZhNTNiLWRjNTctNDFhYi1iNTc0LTlmOGE4ZmU1N2NlNFwvZGR2b3R3ZS01OTMwMmJhNi02YTgxLTQ3YmYtOTg0Ni0zMGM1YTVkYjA3ODAucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.ujCJH7FAbsQhfZlQniMmEd_vw-VmvaTDn0iFb4PvyXE)
let's light this house on fire
we'll dance in the warmth of its blaze
pixel made by the amazing star
