Willfur
He stills under the press of Thana's horn against his brow, surprised by the touch itself, but even more so by the utter gentleness of it. There's no pain, no sudden death or destruction or whatever else he might have imagined that touch to bring, only an outstretched hand, softly beckoning. Here, it calls, and the mule's eyes roll in their sockets to follow the twisted shaft down to its base, away from the dizzying, nauseating not-quite-reflections.
He wants to crumple against her, close his eyes and let whatever ominous power still clings to this place do battle with whatever it is that lies coiled beneath the chestnut coat and amethyst eyes beside him, let them devour him if they like, so long as he doesn't have to see it, but the mare moves and he follows, loathe to be alone, to chance being caught in the mirrors again.
He swallows, shakes himself, awkwardly trying to blink away the moisture building behind his eyes and speaking haltingly into his knees. "They're not reflections, they're..." The skin along his spine draws painfully tight, the muscles beneath visibly rigid. "They're... wrong. They're... choices, I guess. Bad choices. Things I would never do, but I can see them. I can see the harm I know I'm capable of, but I would never..." He hesitates, head rushing upward to seek confirmation in her expression, as if agreement would make it more true.
"I wouldn't do any of those things. I wouldn't hurt anyone in any way. Not unless they were going to kill me, or do something awful to someone. I'm not... I don't want to be a..." Every word he can think of feels childish, so he lets the silence stretch, sure that he must sound like the most melodramatic idiot in the world, like an easily frightened brother fretting over monsters and bad dreams to an elder sibling who's actually seen them, fought with them, might be one of them.
"I can see myself doing terrible things in them. I know I'd never act that way, but it's so... real. It's frightening... because I know I'm physically capable of doing those things, so technically they are possible but... Even the thought is sickening. I know I wouldn't, but it still hurts to see those things and think about them. To think about what kind of effects they would have on everyone around me. It makes my chest ache. It makes me want to crawl into a hole and just... stop existing."
Explanation does nothing to dull the ache in his chest, but it does release some of the tension in his shoulders and back, loosens the knot in the back of his throat so that he can breathe again and his heart begins to slow. "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed out. I didn't mean to throw all that at you. You're..." More, he thinks, more than a simple pack animal with too many feelings. "But, what do you see?"
@Thana
