some simply become it
So, the monk didn't kill anyone. Morrighan didn't think he had, although it would've been an interesting surprise. Perhaps it's wrong of her to want to laugh because he so obviously is hurt by this (literally, by all the whiplashes on his back). In the grand scheme of things though, it's the smallest thing someone could do and, in her mind, doesn't mean he should face such horrible consequences. Technically she's put many before Caligo since her time joining the Court, but of course joining the Night Order will never be on her bucket list.
His question to her is heavy. So heavy maybe, that he feels that he has to look up at his precious deity and for whatever reason, Morr does the same. She doesn't know if she's doing it to follow his gaze or if she expects to see some kind of expression from the statue. That glare from the statue in the markets still haunts her to this day, but that had been different. It feels like ages ago when she felt colder than she does now. How different she had been then.
So, would this version of her put love before Denocte and her duty to the Court? She thinks to Al'Zahra, the only one she had opened up her heart to. It had been a one-sided love, a love that blinded her and threw her into so many different directions. A love that made her feel like she wanted to set the whole world on fire, but soon more out of anger than passion. It shattered her heart and now she's built back up her walls even stronger than before. She tried to forget it, all the mistakes she made, in many different ways. When none of them worked, somehow she still felt numb.
But then there was Maeve. Now, it's always Maeve.
Would she abandon her Court for Maeve? Would she abandon her duty as Regent and otherwise to Antiope for Maeve?
If it was for her own good, yes. Always.
She blinks, realizing she had been looking at Caligo's statue this entire time. Its expression hasn't changed.
"Love is stupid sometimes. I thought I loved Maeve's other Mom, but I had been tricked… blinded I guess. Not that it ever steered me away from the Court, but it did lead to some stupid choices. But then, it led to Maeve. I never thought I'd be a Mom and some days I still don't know how I'm going to do it, but I would do anything for her. Whatever it took to keep her safe," she confesses. It makes her feel uncomfortable and exposed, but somehow in the end, it's cathartic. "Even if it meant I had to put her before the Court, I suppose. I hope it doesn't come to that, but she will always come first."
It's unknown to her that Tenebrae has a child out there, so it's also unknown if her words will have any impact on him. Still, she feels confident in her answer and that it'll never change.
"Now if you love someone and they don't love you back, forget them. Just, maybe do it in a healthier way," she adds, thinking back to her many nights at the tavern. Maybe in some way that had been her way of punishing herself just as Tenebrae was whipped. Yikes, she thinks, comparing herself to a monk hadn't been what she expected to be doing today.
@Tenebrae
