I was used to being looked at, although I did not at all like it. It was why I had taken so often to the mountains; the court was full of eyes. They looked and looked, but for the most part people only saw what they wanted to see.
I don’t think anyone looked at me the way the flames did that night.
Surely no one saw me the way they did.
And, of course, no one had ever touched me like that. The scent of burning hair filled my nostrils, but it was covered quickly by the overwhelming scent of smoke, thick as water in my lungs. I tried to hold my breath but it was impossible while running, I breathed in and coughed, stumbling, and then the visions began. My family took shape in the smoke- a wall of Eiks and Isras and Avestas as far as I could see, some of them standing and watching with disappointment, others laughing at me and how pathetic I was. Visions of my sister raced ahead of me, always faster, disappearing into the sea of smoke before I could catch up.
“I’m sorry,” I thought. The smoke burned my eyes; sooty tears trailed down my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I closed my eyes, lowered my nose to the ground where the air was marginally less smokey, and I carried onward in a straight line. I do not know if the falling embers were real or not, I did not open my eyes to see as pinpricks of fire fell across my skin.
Only when the smoke thinned did I open my eyes. My attention was immediately captured by the trail of embers. If it were not for the occasion with the fireflies, I might have followed the embers off into the night. As it was, I had taken a gamble once before on dancing lights, and it had not paid off.
I turned my head forward, ignored the aching in my lungs, and I continued straight ahead, hot on the heels of the horse before me.
@Official Dawn Account Aspara chooses to follow the horse ahead of her
