She catches my eye, a flicker of something unsettling in those silver pools twists my gut. Careful, she says, warning me away from her, though from a true desire to turn me away, from fear for me or of me, I cannot discern. Those starry pools are all that matter to me as the waves swell and crash around us, applause for the creature before me to do so well in bringing me from the shore, to a place at the edge of the world. It occurs to me, as a dull siren in the back of my mind, that she could be leading me to my death.
Perhaps that would not be so bad. After all, your goddess has seemingly left you to rot, what else would you have to live for? This strange land that, for all it’s beauty, is still nothing akin to home. Your purpose here is nothing- she has abandoned you, and you have no home to return to, for even if you had the strength to planes walk they would not welcome you any more than they would a buzzard on their doorstep. They are better to be rid of you than they are to bring you to their bosom. Your worth was measured by your knowledge to a life you felt dangerously close to a sham. What is there left to live for if all that you have known and done has been for less than a bittersweet lie?
The laugh is so much like the sea I would have missed it for not the way it brought the mare’s head towards the stars. The stars… I tilt my crown to the heavens and see for the first time the blanket of sparkling light above us, drifting, drifting down. The cosmos itself is drawn to the beauty before me, falling apart from the very seams to be close to her. As I desire to be close to her. I close my eyes, allowing the motes to fall around me. The faint hiss as each bright pearl touches the water is nearly lost in the staccato thrum of my heart. Do I wish to burn?
“Life feels so much like a wildfire, to burn is only natural…” The words are but a hoarse whisper, barely audible, even to myself. My mind is filled with the dense fog of the ocean, her bittersweet chortle, the taste of her mournful salt tears. Do I wish to know of love?
The world is cut through like an icy blade. The fog drops immediately, and there is a delay between what is happening and my understanding of it. ”Then know of how it burns and disappoints. I am no mentor for you. I am no god. Do not follow any but yourself.” These words float to my audits from the lips of the mare, parted at the side of my neck where my mane has fallen away. Her maw is silken, and the touch is almost sweet, I imagine, tender. And suddenly, as my body and my mind finally come into sync, a near bloodcurdling scream is ripped from that very throat which those lips rest against.
My head pulls back violently, my cannons scrambling to get away away from this beautiful beast. The water is so thick, so heavy, my limbs are so cold, so numb they do not wish to obey my commands to run run. They nearly give out beneath me, the shifting sands delighting in this misery, greedy for another meal for their goddess, the ocean, her loving sea to bring me down and drown me in their icy depths. I kick and splash and try to steady myself, to push my body away from this inky abyss in the form of the night sky and the cosmos. Is this what it is like to die? To undo the fabric of one’s self? I feel as a feral animal, a rabbit trapped by the cunning of a hungry jackal, and I must flee.
I can feel the hot iron touch of the predator before me spiderweb through my veins and I wonder how long it might be before her touch has turned me to ash.
Now she's in me
and I can't let her go
and I can't let her go
« r » || @Leto
