It is soothing to see the blue and silver mare finally begin to settle into her seat and prepare her meal. She smiles at the way she offers the food to the canine and already she can hear the way Finnick protests. If her bonded can have food, why can’t he? Katniss wants to bore her eyes into him but instead settles on words thick with judgement, but only for his ears to hear. “Not now, Finnick. You will get leftovers if you are patient. Please be so.” The branches rustle above them as the eagle hops onto a higher branch. He’s tempted to spread his wings and fly away, but he stays where he is. After all, his bonded needs protection…from what, he is unsure.
The other begins to nibble on an apple and Katniss wants to tell her to indulge herself, but she has this inkling feeling that the mare is eating all she wants for now. So Katniss says nothing, at least not about her lack of appetite. “Please, it’s just Katniss.” She has never liked the idea of titles, putting herself above everyone else on some sort of pedestal. Some like the way it makes them feel above the rest, but Katniss still feels like just another individual. Sure, she might have duties that supersede another’s, but Katniss does not feel as though she is above anyone else.
But Katniss continues, choosing not to focus on the title, or the praise the other offers her. While Katniss has never really considered herself a humble person, she supposes that many might call her such a thing when she was being was herself, true to her very nature at her core.
But again, they are not here to discuss herself. Katniss can see the way the other seems to recoil at the idea that she had come to talk about the other. Katniss can tell she’s made Kassandra uncomfortable and she tries to put the mare’s fears aside, telling her she had not come to any sort of explanation about why she did not seem herself. In the end, it didn’t matter. Katniss didn’t need to know why and it certainly wasn’t her place and she recognized that.
Kassandra begins to speak, saying that since the coronation, she has been unable to settle. Katniss looks at her concerned, her eyes soft and wishing only that she could make the other feel better. She goes on to explain that she had been unable to sleep, but that she shouldn’t trouble herself with her issues. Katniss sighs. “I may be a soldier, but I cannot help my desire to heal as well.” She quiet a moment as she take another bite of bread and jam. “I know a good medic here in Denocte. Maybe she can give you something to help you find rest - rest is so important for the healing of both physical and emotional wounds.” She knows that Kassandra is holding back, but she doesn’t want to be rude and pry.
In the end, Katniss knows that the best way to build trust was to offer up something in exchange. Not many know of her darkest times, when she felt as though the world was ending…of when she thought about throwing herself off the mountain. “I lost someone very dear to me several years ago. He was taken from me prematurely and left me with a son to raise without a father…” She can feel the tear begin to build in the corner of her eye and she blinks so not to appear as though she wanted to cry. “After his untimely death, I slipped into a dark depression. I did not eat, I did not sleep, I could not find joy in anything…not even the son I felt move in my womb.” She looked away for a moment. It was so hard to talk about the darkest part of her life. But she needed to share this information. She needed to build trust with Kassandra. “Many times I thought about jumping off the mountain so I might be with him again. It was a very dark time in my life and I didn’t have anyone to be a friend to me.” She sighed a moment before she rose her gaze to settle on Kassandra. “I just don’t want you to feel as though you are all alone. I am here for you. I can be whatever and whoever you need.” Whether it be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or just a presence. Katniss didn’t have to know the specifics, but she would be there for her herd - in all ways, not just on the battlefield. She could only hope Kassandra saw that and believed it.
@Kassandra
