A s t a
'cause i thought i saw your soul
Where the hell was I? Other than in some sort of hell created from my own decision making.
A festival, they said. How fun, they declared.
What I fool I was to believe them. To come to this place.
Suuuuuuuure, it looked cool, but all around me bodies pressed din, tighter and tighter until I was certain that they were going to trample me. All around me were loud voices. Some shouting to buy their food, another asking others to buy their jewelry, a third sung out the joys of the cards, the ones laid out on the table like they held all of the fucking divine answers. Let me clue you in on a little secret, ain't no way those cards will tell you anything. Because divine shit, it ain't nothing but a way to hurt, and prod and breaks you apart. I wasn't expecting how much fucking happy go lucky, all is well in the world bullshit would be in these tent-lined rows.
Okay, so my mood soured the first time I heard someone pedaling their 'talent' with the cards. Messages from the gods. Here is what they have to say. Bunch of bogus if you ask me. Cause I've been questioning the gods for life times, and want to know what it has done for me. Not a single thing. Here I am, stuck in a never-ending cycle of death, rebirth, death, rebirth, death, rebirth. Oh, I bet your thinking how romantic, I'm stuck in a reincarnation loop. Well here's the big, fat, ugly truth, this ain't some romantic comedy of two star-crossed lovers always missing out on one another. I don't exist for the soul purpose to reconnect with my happily ever after, a soulmate that I cross lifetimes for.
If you're looking for that story, try my sister, Runa.
Some pretty girls get all the luck . . .
But I'm just me. Just Asta. Always here, always have been. Stuck in a constant loop, a constant cycle. Always remembering, always hurting, always hating each time I open my eyes in a new infant body, forced to grow up again and again and again and again. And always remembering . . . that's the hardest part is always fucking remembering. That stallion leaning against the caravan, hitting on the pale mare? He was once a lowly farmer in another life, but he grew the best peaches around. That large mare over yonder, the one that is looking through the weaponry, here's the funny part, the blushing little blacksmith mare trying to sell her items - I've seen at least seven different life times worth of them ending up together. Seven. The little pegasus that is chasing the unicorn through the stalls, that unicorn killed that pegasus three life times ago, over a gambling debt.
But do any of them remember any of that - nope, not a single thing . . . But me, I just can't forget . . . . And it makes it even harder to remember that they have forgotten, the ones form my past lives. The young mare rearranging her collection of flowers - fifteen life times ago, that was one of my daughters. The stallion trying to steal from that baker's stall - I married him thirty two life times ago. We've married a total of five times, in fact. Not once in those life times - or even this one, does he remember the me of the past.
So you'll have to forgive me for having a sour mood as soon as the gods, the divine world is mentioned. Because, as pretty as this place was. As excited as I was to look around, as curious as I was to see what was on display . . . As soon as I step in, I'm reminded of festivals of the past, I'm seeing faces I thought I would become dull too when they look through me without recognizing me.
I knew I should have stayed home.
Why am I such a glutton for punishment?
FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@All. Everyone Welcome. Come on in.
Notes:: So uhm, anyone can come in, I beg you, interact with girly girl here, yeah?
A festival, they said. How fun, they declared.
What I fool I was to believe them. To come to this place.
Suuuuuuuure, it looked cool, but all around me bodies pressed din, tighter and tighter until I was certain that they were going to trample me. All around me were loud voices. Some shouting to buy their food, another asking others to buy their jewelry, a third sung out the joys of the cards, the ones laid out on the table like they held all of the fucking divine answers. Let me clue you in on a little secret, ain't no way those cards will tell you anything. Because divine shit, it ain't nothing but a way to hurt, and prod and breaks you apart. I wasn't expecting how much fucking happy go lucky, all is well in the world bullshit would be in these tent-lined rows.
Okay, so my mood soured the first time I heard someone pedaling their 'talent' with the cards. Messages from the gods. Here is what they have to say. Bunch of bogus if you ask me. Cause I've been questioning the gods for life times, and want to know what it has done for me. Not a single thing. Here I am, stuck in a never-ending cycle of death, rebirth, death, rebirth, death, rebirth. Oh, I bet your thinking how romantic, I'm stuck in a reincarnation loop. Well here's the big, fat, ugly truth, this ain't some romantic comedy of two star-crossed lovers always missing out on one another. I don't exist for the soul purpose to reconnect with my happily ever after, a soulmate that I cross lifetimes for.
If you're looking for that story, try my sister, Runa.
Some pretty girls get all the luck . . .
But I'm just me. Just Asta. Always here, always have been. Stuck in a constant loop, a constant cycle. Always remembering, always hurting, always hating each time I open my eyes in a new infant body, forced to grow up again and again and again and again. And always remembering . . . that's the hardest part is always fucking remembering. That stallion leaning against the caravan, hitting on the pale mare? He was once a lowly farmer in another life, but he grew the best peaches around. That large mare over yonder, the one that is looking through the weaponry, here's the funny part, the blushing little blacksmith mare trying to sell her items - I've seen at least seven different life times worth of them ending up together. Seven. The little pegasus that is chasing the unicorn through the stalls, that unicorn killed that pegasus three life times ago, over a gambling debt.
But do any of them remember any of that - nope, not a single thing . . . But me, I just can't forget . . . . And it makes it even harder to remember that they have forgotten, the ones form my past lives. The young mare rearranging her collection of flowers - fifteen life times ago, that was one of my daughters. The stallion trying to steal from that baker's stall - I married him thirty two life times ago. We've married a total of five times, in fact. Not once in those life times - or even this one, does he remember the me of the past.
So you'll have to forgive me for having a sour mood as soon as the gods, the divine world is mentioned. Because, as pretty as this place was. As excited as I was to look around, as curious as I was to see what was on display . . . As soon as I step in, I'm reminded of festivals of the past, I'm seeing faces I thought I would become dull too when they look through me without recognizing me.
I knew I should have stayed home.
Why am I such a glutton for punishment?
FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@All. Everyone Welcome. Come on in.
Notes:: So uhm, anyone can come in, I beg you, interact with girly girl here, yeah?
shades of jade and emerald
