Jane had always wanted to protect her. It was her purpose, Jane had come upon after a short while. Why else would the Gods send a walking nebula across her path, why had their personalities blended so effortlessly? Jane could hardly look at pictures of herself anymore, let alone the mirror. How could she express it to Veil, just how she didn’t know herself anymore.
Veil spoke of Torielle with such wonder and innocence, as she had always been. How could things ever be okay again- now that Jane was this collection of identities that would end at the end of her life. Nothing would survive her. But Veil will survive you, a voice whispered in the back of her mind, She will outlive you and you will become but another star in her sky.
“Of course. I’m glad you found her.” Jane stopped herself before she could say, I’d like to meet her? Would the kind Torielle who had helped Veil not want to strike Jane for her abandonment.
The two of them went to the tree with their teas and they sat beneath its shade. Spring heat rested on the grass but Jane felt completely numb beneath her severe emotional turmoil. But it was Veil who broke, who spoke quickly in all of those words that she had learnt in Jane’s absence. They came as a rush towards Jane, flushing through her body. She felt the ice in her body rising up, as though every cell in her body raged with fire. Finally, the nebula pressed her forehead against Jane’s and Jane felt once more the warm coat of her old friend, the first friend Jane had made in Novus.
The only real friend that had meant anything to Jane, at the end of the day.
Despite herself, when she opened her mouth a laugh spilled out. She was horrified at herself, horrified, as gasping laughter ripped from her throat and sent her head buckling forward and her eyes closing. She refused to look at Veil as this burning ran through her, unending and ruthless. Then she realised that she had started to sob- without her own consent. The bubbles of laughter became something different, all pointed angles and shards that she felt certain would bear blood.
Jane felt shame in her cheeks even as she leaned forward like this, sobbing. She wasn’t sure if there were tears making tracks along her skin, or if she was sweating, and god the sun was so sharp. She couldn’t bear Veil looking at her, the attention of someone who knew her in a time that she had had potential and been unfinished, so to speak.
“I- you still want to be friends? With me?” She shook, gasping between each sentence. True effort wracked her body and god, it would be awkward when she met up with Isaar after this. And what an impression to make upon strangers who she might meet again; a noblewoman sobbing on her first day in Delumine as though she were a lover screaming after her partner's departing back.
Tagged; @Veil Nebula. Ooc; dont mind me crying lol
i've never felt more alone
it feels so scary getting old
[/b]
