i'm insane
well, i can feel it in my bones
coursing through my veins,
when did i become so cold?
well, i can feel it in my bones
coursing through my veins,
when did i become so cold?
Valan was relatively aware at this point, just what she seemed to be in another's eyes when they learned who she was. She knew at her first smile, others would stare. She knew when the wind ruffled through curls of wine, others would reach towards those wild locks. She knew when another saw the pointed canines, they would recoil in fear. She knew when they looked into her rose-tinted eyes, they would see a predator's gleam. What they didn't see was the way she tried to duck her head, when those wild curls flew, to control them before they could flick another in the face. Or the way her gaze softened softly with her smile, warm and alive in a way her body wasn't. The didn't see the joy, and laugh lines in her smile, just beyond those canines. And they didn't see the pleading look in her eyes as they screamed monster while gathering the pitch forks.
And so, talking to Elain could be a delight already - because this soft little mare wouldn't see the horrors painting her a monster, a hungry lion ready to pounce. Instead she heard kindness and wisdom in her voice. She could feel a vibe at the real personality buried beneath the looks that came from being a creature of the night. The desire to be alive again. The desire to be just like anyone else. To feel the sunlight kiss her skin, or to embrace the delight of a warm piece of bread, fresh from the oven. Would she ever be able to do those things again? Could she ever hope to reach out steal a bun from beneath dear Thomasin's gaze, playfully pouncing out of reach to eat the stolen prize? Flirting and playing in a way the beloved little flower should be played with.
Would she always have to be careful, keep a distance to protect her? So she continues to distract herself with Elain, so as to avoid the pain of want in her chest, "That is very kind of you to say, Miss Elain." The vampire whispers, demure and polite in the face of such a compliment. "I am not aiming to present myself in such a way - I just wish to assist others when I can. But I thank you for the praise regardless." She replies with a closed-lipped smile, as if by hiding her canines she can deny her existence.
Instead she laughs, and offers an apology for calling another child - a bad habit she has picked up from the other vampires, certainly. This little slip of a mare didn't seem to mind, with those ivory eyes catching the vampiress's attention with in the blush-tinted features. There is no obscuring in those gaze, Elain is truthful when she says it's not bothersome, just curious, and Valan allows a relaxed smile to return to her face, "I cannot know for sure, how much like your friend I may be. I'm sure we all have our own stories to share for how we are the way we are." She replies.
Her world stops at the other's mention however, and she pauses when the other explains she doesn't mean to be rude, but if she is like the other, she must have experienced loss, and her strength was admirable. Valan felt her muzzle go dry with the scent of smoke, and the heat of flames. The words echoing in her head as her new husband told her how he had already killed her lover and best friend. Valan swallows against the lump that clogs her throat, "[color=#a70029][b]I fear it's less about being strong, or admirable, Miss Elain; and more about knowing to mourn for all of eternity is not the way I wish to live my second chance." She admits quietly. "Those who leave us are never truly gone, however. And it is that fact that allows me to carry on." Rafie didn't walk beside her, but he lived in her heart, in her memories.
Her attention returns to the canine and she blinks curiously when he is introduced, as the creature noses at her. Cailerian, hmm. "Oh, he is of no concern. Lovely creature, but polite despite his . . . nosiness as you so put it." She smiles warmly, "Most animals are not so friendly with me. He is a relief to meet." To not growl at a predator and potential threat to his master, and instead appear so friendly . . . yes, she was pleased to have met the both of them.
@Elain
for goodness sake
where is my self control?
if home is where my heart is
then my heart has lost all hope
where is my self control?
if home is where my heart is
then my heart has lost all hope
