[P] the knife's edge (vreis/dyzzie)

[Jane]

JaneHusband. Marriage. Duty. The words repeated in Jane’s skull even as she turned away from them. She knew the plan of total self destruction was in play, she had seen it all before. She remembered Madame Furon of her old court, who had been found in bed with one of the palace gardeners. Everything had been taken from her, including her children. Even now, Jane did not hear the Furon name without the added lacquer of shame and scandal. Beyond that, she had watched all the plays of horrible, adulterous women who were revenged by the gods. 

Perhaps it was this that Jane engaged. Her reputation was already in tatters, she had been offered up like a consolation prize to her kind but loveless spouse, and what did she have to lose. Not once had her husband touched her, not once had anyone touched her in a way that mattered. Other than Veil, but that was completely different.

In spite of herself, Jane felt embarrassment flushing against her cheeks as she walked with the armoured stallion. It was beautiful here, a creek that rang loud with the sounds of spring and birdsong. Despite the fact that they were alone, Jane didn’t think that she had ever felt as exposed as she felt right now. She looked at Vreis from the corner of her eye, and then looked away again.

“What now?” Jane asked, stopping by the edge of the water. “What happens now?” She whispered, “Tell me, am I about to ruin everything?” She turned her head so she faced him, as though she were facing her own death. Her own suicide and ruin danced before her and she courted them like a courtesan, distant and yet willing. 

@[Vreis]


 
i've never felt more alone
it feels so scary getting old

 

[/b]