we know your name child.
Her mind was swirling, routines turned into compulsions. Requirements for safety were ingrained into her mind day after day for years. So much so it had broken her - torn her into the panicked animal Wren would find should she come back. The only things that had made anything right had been through following the routine and orders given. Now... she had nothing but the compulsive routine she had created for herself. She had told herself she had to look - she had to make sure Wren wasn’t taken by the poacher...
Her wings... her horn... her being. Wren and Kindred were two meant to be one, it would make sense if someone had crossed over that they would take out the stronger of the two. At least, stronger mentally. Should they really be coming... After all this time? Was it even worth it?
No! She couldn’t let herself think like that. Her eyes blinked, brain focusing on the words of searching tomorrow as the exhausted gaze lingered upon her sovereign, barely noticing the feeling of the grass as it seemed to cradle around her limbs. “She’s gone...” she whispered as Cally seemed to address the air. Her mind seemed to be able to understand that... somewhere deep down. It had been too long. Wren wouldn’t be in this forest anymore unless she was dead. But the compulsions told her if she stopped looking that she was certain to be gone. That painful voice in her head preying on her nightmares and forcing her to submission.
Kindred nodded her head solemnly at the facts tossed in her face. She needed rest, that was apparent even if she could feel her heart rate speeding up and tears choking in her throat. She would not cry yet, not until she found her sister’s remains or felt the softness of her feathers against her coat again. Only then were tears acceptable. It burned as she felt her lungs fight the air she was taking in, and slowly she lay down.
“I will sleep, m’lady... thank you...” One could hear the panicked undertones on her strained voice as she allowed her knees to fold into the softness of the grass. Her muscles rippled in slight trembles before pressing her nose to the pendant to drown out every sound except the counting of her thoughts. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five breaths. Five days. Five Nights at a time. Five minutes. Five hours. Did it matter how much longer she looked?
Slowly, she drifted off to sleep - dreams of Wren returning giving her the strength she needed to keep herself from succumbing to the malnutrition and withering away. Another purpose... another reason. That was what she needed... Now, if only she would allow herself to find it - to drop the pretense of being that bringer of death and accept her desire to nurture life...
Wren... can I do it without you?
--------------------------------
@Callynite - she might take a little more convincing in the morning but she's about able to talk herself out of the search compulsion :D
Her wings... her horn... her being. Wren and Kindred were two meant to be one, it would make sense if someone had crossed over that they would take out the stronger of the two. At least, stronger mentally. Should they really be coming... After all this time? Was it even worth it?
No! She couldn’t let herself think like that. Her eyes blinked, brain focusing on the words of searching tomorrow as the exhausted gaze lingered upon her sovereign, barely noticing the feeling of the grass as it seemed to cradle around her limbs. “She’s gone...” she whispered as Cally seemed to address the air. Her mind seemed to be able to understand that... somewhere deep down. It had been too long. Wren wouldn’t be in this forest anymore unless she was dead. But the compulsions told her if she stopped looking that she was certain to be gone. That painful voice in her head preying on her nightmares and forcing her to submission.
Kindred nodded her head solemnly at the facts tossed in her face. She needed rest, that was apparent even if she could feel her heart rate speeding up and tears choking in her throat. She would not cry yet, not until she found her sister’s remains or felt the softness of her feathers against her coat again. Only then were tears acceptable. It burned as she felt her lungs fight the air she was taking in, and slowly she lay down.
“I will sleep, m’lady... thank you...” One could hear the panicked undertones on her strained voice as she allowed her knees to fold into the softness of the grass. Her muscles rippled in slight trembles before pressing her nose to the pendant to drown out every sound except the counting of her thoughts. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five breaths. Five days. Five Nights at a time. Five minutes. Five hours. Did it matter how much longer she looked?
Slowly, she drifted off to sleep - dreams of Wren returning giving her the strength she needed to keep herself from succumbing to the malnutrition and withering away. Another purpose... another reason. That was what she needed... Now, if only she would allow herself to find it - to drop the pretense of being that bringer of death and accept her desire to nurture life...
Wren... can I do it without you?
--------------------------------
@Callynite - she might take a little more convincing in the morning but she's about able to talk herself out of the search compulsion :D
woven across countless almost-lives
