Well fuck me. What was I expecting - a long, happy, fulfilling life? Who knows... but certainly that is not what the Gods had in store for me, oh NO! Why would poor ol' Rostislav get to hold on to something nice? THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!! Because Rosti has to get drunk off his fat ass and wander off into the distance never to be seen again. Of course that hadn't been my intention.. but intentions are worthless these days. Kiara, Vitani, Damaris... oh Damaris!! A pang strikes my heart like ice and I gasped for air as the unbidden tears burst to my pale eyes. Within seconds they're trickling down my face, hesitating over old scars that mar my appearance.
I fling myself to the ground, the dew from the grass tickling and wetting my face in the cool morning. I don't know where I am. I don't fucking care. Why doesn't matter now? All the I've known and loved is behind me. The emptiness is tangible. The feeling that I've lost.. everything. My friends and family, my beloved companion. I sense that she's still alive.. somewhere. But where or in what condition I haven't the faintest. My magic is gone. Even - and you'll never believe this - my VODKA is gone! That's right, the flask has run dry. I can fill it with fermented fruit I suppose but that's going to be a pain in the fucking ass.
I close my eyes and try to calm myself but the unrelenting emotions still wash over me, drowning me again and again. Breath comes quick and shallow as I can't self-soothe. I close my eyes and sob.. horrible, aching cries that a grown stallion should never cry. The tears meld with the dew. Nothing can stop me.
Except time, and finally time does stop me. The sobs ebb, my breathing slows, and I become quiet. I've cried myself out and though the pain is not gone, the well of tears has run dry. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds around me. Birds singing softly as they awaken, chipmunks and squirrels chittering angrily (most likely at me)... Never before have I wanted to be passed out, shitfaced drunk. And for the longest time nothing has prevented me. Now I'm the most sober I've been, beyond recent memory. Since childhood.
But this is the hangover I deserve... the sobriety I must suffer. These are the consequences of my actions.
"."
