and bury it before it buries me
What they all forgot to tell Elena when she had been small was not to go looking for monsters, because unlike the stories, monsters do not die. They mark you, they hunt you, haunt, live between every rib and grow and burn with every breath you take. They slip into your blood and it is not such an easy thing to cleanse. She carries them with her now, and it is only in the quiet that she can hear the murmurs of their whispers that they were not so easy to destroy. Elena was no conquerer, and she had never vanquished her monsters, she just learned to live with them. They destroy her on the inside, but her smile and those bright blue eyes always suggest otherwise. It is only when others smile back at her, the they must not see how destroyed she is with the battle that rages beneath her skin, that Elena believes that she must still be winning. Though she will never claim to be victorious.
The quiet bothers her today, so she leaves home behind. The shadows continue to beckon her; remind her of him and she half expects his eyes to appear out of the dark, his flesh to materialize in darkness and smoke. Her blue gaze tears away and she goes.
To Dawn.
She could have stayed in Windskeep, with her grandmother, Roland, Brielle, their daughter, with Melody, and Zephyra, Rishiri. But she left. Winter came and the ground turned white. She had stayed for months, living among ghosts that haunted her dreams. She had left because it had been hard, not because it had been easy. This, the road to Dawn, Elena finds it as natural as her oceanside home. The gold of her coat soaks in the waning sunlight that cuts across the land. A slight smile quirks her lips as she slips through the towering trees and that blue gaze sets herself towards the meadow.
What she does not expect is the crowd of others gathering around and the high emotions hit her like a wall. Her eyes tears up at someone who is experiencing their first festival without their mother. And then her heart races like a joyful child at all the new sights upon their own first festival of another type. Her chest swells with love like the newlyweds who are eager to enjoy the lights with one another. There are too many emotions and the empath quickly becomes overwhelmed and she isn't sure where they are coming from. Her breathing grows rapid and the setting sun still causes her to grow warm in the early autumn season. Over to the edge of the meadow where only a few faces stand, Elena gathers herself, blue eyes directed forwards as emotions that are not her own ease.
It is only then that Elena tries to remember what she had been feeling in the quiet of Terrastella that had drawn her to Delumine. But with a mixture of a smile on her face, a rapid heart, and confusion in her head, Elena cannot remember what emotions were her own to her begin with. So she lets the lights of the festival that would soon begin settle into her bones. And she forgets.
The quiet bothers her today, so she leaves home behind. The shadows continue to beckon her; remind her of him and she half expects his eyes to appear out of the dark, his flesh to materialize in darkness and smoke. Her blue gaze tears away and she goes.
To Dawn.
She could have stayed in Windskeep, with her grandmother, Roland, Brielle, their daughter, with Melody, and Zephyra, Rishiri. But she left. Winter came and the ground turned white. She had stayed for months, living among ghosts that haunted her dreams. She had left because it had been hard, not because it had been easy. This, the road to Dawn, Elena finds it as natural as her oceanside home. The gold of her coat soaks in the waning sunlight that cuts across the land. A slight smile quirks her lips as she slips through the towering trees and that blue gaze sets herself towards the meadow.
What she does not expect is the crowd of others gathering around and the high emotions hit her like a wall. Her eyes tears up at someone who is experiencing their first festival without their mother. And then her heart races like a joyful child at all the new sights upon their own first festival of another type. Her chest swells with love like the newlyweds who are eager to enjoy the lights with one another. There are too many emotions and the empath quickly becomes overwhelmed and she isn't sure where they are coming from. Her breathing grows rapid and the setting sun still causes her to grow warm in the early autumn season. Over to the edge of the meadow where only a few faces stand, Elena gathers herself, blue eyes directed forwards as emotions that are not her own ease.
It is only then that Elena tries to remember what she had been feeling in the quiet of Terrastella that had drawn her to Delumine. But with a mixture of a smile on her face, a rapid heart, and confusion in her head, Elena cannot remember what emotions were her own to her begin with. So she lets the lights of the festival that would soon begin settle into her bones. And she forgets.
so take away this apathy
bury it before it buries me
@
![[Image: ddvotwe-59302ba6-6a81-47bf-9846-30c5a5db...0iFb4PvyXE]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/8026a53b-dc57-41ab-b574-9f8a8fe57ce4/ddvotwe-59302ba6-6a81-47bf-9846-30c5a5db0780.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzgwMjZhNTNiLWRjNTctNDFhYi1iNTc0LTlmOGE4ZmU1N2NlNFwvZGR2b3R3ZS01OTMwMmJhNi02YTgxLTQ3YmYtOTg0Ni0zMGM1YTVkYjA3ODAucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.ujCJH7FAbsQhfZlQniMmEd_vw-VmvaTDn0iFb4PvyXE)
let's light this house on fire
we'll dance in the warmth of its blaze
pixel made by the amazing star
