azrael
Azrael cannot know what Elena is thinking, but he can guess that the emotions in her are just as convoluted and confused as his own. There would be hurt – feelings of loss and abandonment – for though the shed-star didn’t fully understand or want to imagine their love for one another, he knows Elena must have loved Tenebrae to have given herself so fully to his touch. There would be regret, guilt, loneliness… these too, he had felt for far too long. But he felt something else – hope. Would she feel it too? Could she let go of the hurt and heal alongside him? Hope was his only salvation in the matter.
The shed-star finds it curious, that Tenebrae had chosen ‘his goddess’ over Elena. He doesn’t remind her that Caligo is his own goddess too, that his people were blessed and called descendants of Caligo herself. But then, Azrael had never been as pious as a monk (or at least as a monk should be). Instead of taking an oath of chastity, he had walked with Caligo in dreams, looked upon her face, smiled as if they shared a secret only they would know. Unlike Tenebrae, Azrael got the distinct impression that their goddess would wish them happiness. And Elena made him happy. He would never feel the need to walk away for the sake of religion. Religion would simply bring them purpose as they walked through life together.
She says she is a curse to him, which he vehemently disagrees with – but the shed-star knows too that arguing would do no good. So he simply pulls her closer, watching Elliana with a warmth he didn’t feel was possible to project on another’s child. It was a bit ironic, he mused – for Azrael had never pictured himself as a father. Sure, there had been moments where he’d wondered what it would have been like, having a father to guide him through the confusions of life… but he’d never seen himself in the role of teacher and guardian. Now though, it felt more natural than ever, and something akin to pride fills pieces of him he’d never known were empty, watching the way Caligo’s light fell over the child born from sin… as if the gods themselves forgave the monk’s transgression.
Instead of turning from Elena, he pulls her closer – with his words and his touch. “We have tonight, but there can be many more like it… nights where we can lay beneath the stars, or along the sea cliffs. Perhaps in the morning, we can go… the three of us… together?” The suggestion for them to leave as a family unit hangs heavy between them, as Azrael holds his breath, unsure if she would accept him in her daughter’s life in the way Tenebrae could never be. Whatever wrongs had come, they would be righted… they had to start anew, to find their peace one more.
And Azrael would help her to put the pieces of her heart together once more, if only Elena would let him into her world.
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