FINNIAN vs ARION
@Finnian:
Total: 82/100
@Arion - Total: 70/100
Total: 82/100
- Attacks 56/65
- Creativity 22/25 -- I love the casual banter he employs; it goes very well with his attacks, giving a facelift to a simple buck. I also like how in the second attack he uses his horn to slash instead of simply stab—I don’t see that as much with unicorns!
- Realism 23/25 -- Definitely felt pretty realistic to me; I like how he changed his methods based on Arion’s own moves, showing he was flexible and adaptable. Spinning around to kick; embracing the closeness to use his horn; it worked and fit well into the overall feel. One thing is that he did talk a lot, and while I appreciated his enthusiasm for the fight I feel as though he’d be a little more out of breath, especially as he was described as being out of shape! But it did seem to fit his Health stats pretty well.
- Metrics 11/15 -- A few bumbles in the first post, but I really like the intro and comparison between Novus and his old home, it definitely gives a good feel for Finnian right off the bat. The way you write him in his attacks is funny and entertaining to read—you describe his first attack so thoroughly that it’s easy for me to follow along. The second got a little confusing with the language you used—I had to reread the “Finnian let go of the dagger's hilt and used his horns instead, thrusting the long black spear into a sweeping thrust…” section a few times to understand what I was trying to visualize. Overall there was a good balance between the physical attack and his internal investment.
- Blocks 26/35
- Creativity 13/15 -- I always love the mental image of a smaller horse just running around a bigger horse and getting out of his way in time, but it’s definitely a simple dodge. I did like how you used his pivot to lead into his attack however; it flowed pretty well!
- Realism 12/15 -- Simple but effective dodge, literally just moving out of Arion’s way. Because there is only a 2hand difference between the two, it’s kind of hard to see such a big horse moving that way, but it works. Seems to fit his stats pretty well that he’d be able to move so lithely.
- Metrics 1/5 -- It was short and the dodge wasn’t super clear; I wouldn’t have really known he had dodged if I hadn’t read the description at the bottom. Would have liked to see that actually included in the post!
@Arion - Total: 70/100
- Attacks 44/65
- Creativity 19/25 -- In the first post, I like how he uses the side of his tusks instead of looking to stab him head on (since it’s not a fight to the death, more of a spar). I like the note about his broken horn and the risk it also poses, it shows your attention to detail towards a fairly simple charge attack.
In the second attack it definitely wasn’t as creative, but the goal is clear and fits the context of the spar, wanting to throw him off his feet instead of gouge him to death. - Realism 17/25 -- I did glance at Ink’s post, and I understand their concern with tusks—however, I really don’t see them being any more of a hazard than a regular horn (like Finnian’s) would be. Particularly since he’s looking to scrape instead of stab him, and I’m sure they’re sturdy and he’s used to wielding them, it seems realistic to me. While the second post did not have a direct attack, the intention was clear that he was trying to trip him imo, and I liked it a lot, especially in regards to the context of their spar.
In the second attack however, I’m a little confused here: “Arions head lowered, keen on putting every ounce of size and power behind his strike, to shove his chest and neck against the other's right flank.” Not sure why he’d be lowering his head if he wants to use his chest? I also definitely would have liked to see more added on to the end—I think it works well that he doesn’t flinch away from Finnian’s horn (because what good would that do at such a close quarter, I’m sure it would have happened too quickly for reaction), but I’d like to see how he feels and reacts after they step away, and to have the damage taken fleshed out more. - Metrics 8/15 -- I love the intro in your first post, it really gets me into the setting and into Arion’s mind. I do think you could have fleshed out on the charge a bit more—I know it’s simple, but I’d like to see it detailed more, made clear what his intent is! Overall there were a few long sentences and a few grammatical errors in your posts, but I thought they set the stage pretty nicely nonetheless.
- Creativity 19/25 -- In the first post, I like how he uses the side of his tusks instead of looking to stab him head on (since it’s not a fight to the death, more of a spar). I like the note about his broken horn and the risk it also poses, it shows your attention to detail towards a fairly simple charge attack.
- Blocks 26/35
- Creativity 15/15 -- I think this post was incredibly creative—I had the same issue with it being short, needing to read the summary to get the full effect, but man I love how he tries to use his tusks to catch a hoof or two! I don’t think I’ve seen that before (and his quip at the end was just gold)
- Realism 8/15 -- I can definitely see this actually playing out—the way you described it was well (if brief) enough to give me a great mental image of what was going on when combined with reading the summary. As highlighted above, I also would have seen his damage taken when he didn’t block expounded a little bit; you said he was scraped, but how badly? Damage is a part of battle, and part of what we judged, and we were lacking in that here other than an acknowledgment that he was hit.
- Metrics 3/5 -- Super short dodge that was a little tricky to understand, but I love his joking at the end.
