[P] [TW] i cry out but nothing comes now

[Sloane]

Hope was a concept that was so foreign to Sloane. She had never been taught to hope, to wish for something better than the life she had been given. She had been born with the world telling her this was the hand she had been dealt with and she simply had to make it work or scram. She couldn’t life with her mother or her triplet siblings. One would think that being a triplet would make her bond so closely to her brother and sister and yet, Sloane rarely thought about them. They were the favored children and she was an unfortunate accident. When her mother could no longer feed her, she was weaned far too early. She missed out on bonding and love, on something she so desperately needed in order to make her a softer, more nurturing individual.

Instead, from the moment her hooves hit the ground, she had been forced to fight. Fight to suckle from her mother’s teat, fight for affection, fight for all her basic needs. She had been fighting so long she didn’t know how to stop. Building up her walls were a crutch that kept her afloat. It was how she managed the hand that life had dealt her. It wasn’t efficient or helpful, but it was all she knew. She didn’t know how to hope. No one had cared enough to teach her.

The step more into the forest, Sloane missing the sound of the water rushing against the stones. She misses the sounds of chaos. It is this quietness that makes her uneasy. Ears are erect, her neck arched, her muscles tense. It is as if she is just waiting for something to come out of the quiet and ruin this moment. Because in her mind, what good could possibly come of this? What had she done to deserve an ounce of peace? It was a sad life she lived, a life that was more defensive. But then again, there had been no one to teach her otherwise. It would take a patient individual and time for her to see that there was so much more to life than she gave credit for.

His voice breaks up the silence of the forest (as silent as the chirping birds, the wind between the leaves, and the whispers of insects can be) and he is telling her that he would be her friend. She slows her pace, her eyes resting on him. She Shakes her head. “You don’t want me as your friend.” No one wanted her. It was a theme that had been playing deep in her thoughts since the beginning of her life. “You aren’t wanted, Sloane.” “No one will love you.” “No one will even blink when you die.” It was these thoughts that had been ingrained in her head from the moment she took her first breath. The damage had been done and no one had bothered to try and clean up the debris.

She halts, her sigh heavy as she looks up at him. There is a sense of determination in the way she looks at him, a look that tells him that she will not so easily be won over. “Look, buddy…I’m fifty shades of fucked up and you most definitely are too nice to get wrapped up in the likes of me.” He was far too pure to get tainted by the black cloud that seemed to hover over him. He deserved better than Sloane had to offer.

@Ipomoea

[Ipomoea]

rose-colored boy

”You don’t want me as your friend,” she tells him.

”Yes, I do,” he wants to tell her. The words are there, right at the tip of his tongue - all he has to do is speak them. It should be easy, optimism and encouragement comes naturally to Ipomoea, whether it was in spite of or because of his uncertain childhood. He could see the beauty of life, even in the darkness, and he has always wanted to share that beauty with others.

It’s the tone of her voice, and the way she shakes her head that stops him.

So he swallows those words down, suspecting they would do little to alleviate the black mare’s anxieties. Some times all you could do when someone refused to believe your words, was to show them the truth in your actions - and assuming she stuck around in Delumine long enough, he intended to do exactly that. He was a summer child, and had no doubts in the persuasion of his Court.

“Life isn’t always sunshine and daisies,” he said quietly, “even flowers have to go through the dark of night every day. But still they rise and unfurl every morning.” He had his own lesser-known and hardly-spoken doubts; surely if there was a darkness in her, there was a darkness in him as well? A darkness in everyone, no matter how well hidden?

But he leaves it at that. “I had better be going,” he starts, turning his pink gaze back on her. “I hope you’ll find Delumine to your liking.” He was rather fond of the Court himself, after all; he was sure if she gave it a chance, if she accepted his friendship, she would, too (another testament to his naivety, perhaps.)

But as he took his first few steps into the forest he stopped suddenly, turning to peer at her over one shoulder. “I’m Ipomoea, by the way,” he offers her one final, shy smile. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you. If you’re ever at Court, come find me?”

He wasn’t sure if she would - but he hoped so. And then with a nod of his head and a flutter of his wings, the regent went trotting off along the river, leaving Sloane with the distant roar of the water and birdsong overhead.

hearts are breaking
wars are raging on
you’ve got me nervous
i’m at the end of my rope
hey, man, we can’t all be like you

i wish we were all rose-colored too
my rose-colored boy




@Sloane !
annnd po’s exit!
”here am i!“

empluvie art

[Sloane]

“Life isn’t always sunshine and daisies.” Aint that the truth. Ever since birth she had seen the side of life that was dark and abhorrently evil. She had seen that life could be cruel to even the most innocent of hearts. A young foal, just barely learning to walk, should be shown her mother’s love. She should be showered with kisses and affection, aiding a good start at life. But Sloane had been looked over and abandoned. She wasn’t good enough for her own mother. And ever since that moment, she had seen nothing but the darker side of life. It was getting her to see the sunshine and daisies that would be the ultimate battle.

But unlike his analogy where the flowers were forced into darkness and then forced into light, there was nothing that would bring lightness to her world. She had nothing that brought her joy. Really, the only thing that was even remotely bright in the overall darkness of her life was her time in the library where she could feed her thirst for knowledge. It was in the library amongst the scrolls where she could lose herself, lose hours and days if she wasn’t careful. Sure, she might have that thirst for knowledge so she might be able to do harm later, so that she might have a currency of secrets to buy and sell, but it still something she was quite passionate about.

But just as they have fallen instep together, the other speeds forward, looking back at her as he said that he had better be going. Why had she thought he might be different? He was just someone else turning their back on her. She says nothing, however, shows him no sign that she is irritated that he is choosing to leave. Instead her face is stoic, listening as he shares his hope that she will find Delumine to her liking.

He takes a few steps forward while she slows her pace to a halt. Why chase after him when he has other places to be? He offers his name, Ipomoea. It’s strange, one that doesn’t roll easily off her tongue. And yet, she locks it away for later use. Who knew? Maybe he would one day have a secret to buy or sell. “Sloane.” It’s harsh, dry, to the point. There’s no hint of hope for the future, no hatred for the past, nothing but nonchalant words that fall from her lips. They mean nothing to her and she has to remind herself that to everyone else, a name means something.

With a sigh, she is left alone, listening to the sound of the roaring river below. What next?

@Ipomoea - Sloane’s exit <3