I am the daydream, bring you faith and conviction
I am the nightmare you've been crawling through
She finds herself back to where it all started. The very shore she first met a woman of gray who turned out to be a kelpie. One who Lu pissed off so much that she was dragged down into the ocean and turned.
It feels like ages ago that she was someone else. A mere mortal with a broken wing who would never fly again. She was still trying to find a purpose in this new land and had just reunited with Abraxia. The dragon nuzzles her side now and she can feel her longing through their bond. She knows Lu is called to the sea now instead of the land or the sky, but unlike Lu, she misses the old days.
Back in their homeland, they would fly together and look down at the world below them. They both felt powerful then. Yes, there are some days Lu misses that too, but things are different now. She loves Abraxia with all her heart, but she's not sure if she would trade this new life for the old. The taste of blood is too sweet for that. She is a predator now who enjoys the thrill of the hunt. Surely the dragon must feel that too and can understand.
It only seems fitting that she finds Anandi here again. Not surprising at least, since they are near the outskirts of her Court. Maybe Lu came here on purpose, maybe it was their bond, maybe she will never know.
She remembers being pulled down into the ocean. She remembers her body being constricted and water filling her lungs.
She remembers being left to die.
As Lucinda approaches along the shoreline, Anandi's head is turned away from her and she notices a mark on the woman's neck. Maybe it had been hidden before by her mane, but her hair has fallen just enough to the side that it's visible. She knows Abraxia had tried to save Lu before and it had not been pretty. There's no doubt in her mind that it's a scar from that encounter. It makes her laugh.
"You will always remember this, won't you?" she asks, her voice sickly sweet. "When you left me in the sea… and now you have a horrid scar on your neck." Her laugh only gets louder at the irony of it all. Next to her, Abraxia watches with untrusting eyes. It's also fitting that Anandi is scarred, just as Lu bears the scars of her own past.
I would beg to disagree
but begging disagrees with me
Anandi found herself coming back here often. It was not quite peaceful-- she seemed physically incapable of feeling peaceful-- but it was a space that encouraged contemplation. Here, on the same shore she first met and turned Lucinda, was the only place in Novus the kelpie allowed herself to reflect on the things she’s done.
It was never fun, self-reflection, so she was already in a nasty mood when Lucinda came swaggering in. Anandi lowers her ear at the sound of the black pegasus tramping down the beach, her blood pressure rising with every inch lost between them. “Lucinda,” she greets tartly, just before the goading begins. The other kelpie hits hard, fast, and dirty.
The scar is a soft spot for Anandi. Beautiful is the only title she had that could not be taken-- or so she thought. A sister could be disowned, a princess denounced, an emissary fired. But a beautiful girl, if she was careful, would grow into a beautiful woman. It was gift that not even time could take, for with her excellent genetics age would only refine youth’s features. But she had been reckless with this gift. She had attacked someone with a dragon that had attacked back, and she would forever be marked by this failure.
The shame was bad enough when it was Andi putting it on herself. To have another-- to have Lucinda, of all people-- call attention to it puts her on edge and a growl rises from deep in her chest. A warning, born of pure instinct. Most were wise enough to be fearful of the sound, but she knows if anything it will have the opposite effect on Lucinda. “Something crawl inside of you and die recently? Or are you just being a bitch for the fun of it?” Her teeth clench tight enough to shatter bone.
“What,” She takes an aggressive step toward the pegasus, tail lashing out in agitation. “Do you want?”
I am the daydream, bring you faith and conviction
I am the nightmare you've been crawling through
The way Anandi says her name makes her heart beat faster. It's the feeling of tensions rising and that adrenaline rush just before a fight. It's a confirmation that she's struck a nerve and she's not afraid to keep going. She wants to keep going.
And clearly, the scar is a very sensitive topic for the kelpie. Like a smudge or tear in a pretty painting, Anandi is scarred forever, just as Lu had been during the ambush of her kingdom. She will forever be imperfect- they both will.
"Ooohh, temper, temper," she taunts, leaning in closer to her. Do it, I dare you, she seems to say as she watches the way her face contorts the angrier she gets. Her eyes are more wild too and it's then that she notices their eyes are a similar shade of green.
"I want many things," Lu goes on to say, pausing as if to draw suspense. Her eyes glow almost to compete with Anandi's and she can feel Abraxia growing restless. "But, I'm not sure if I want them as much as you," she says, pretending to look concerned and begins to circle the kelpie. Yes, maybe she is being a bitch for the fun of it. Why shouldn't she? Has Anandi tried it?
"Do you wish you killed me? Do you wonder how it would've tasted?" Because Lucinda does. She wonders how it might feel if she killed another. Even as she stands here before the other mare, she wonders how it would feel to kill her. It's only the bond that stops her now.
Part of her hopes it's not enough to keep Anandi from fighting back. Part of her wants another go at it, this time when they're more evenly matched. She can hear the low growls of her dragon, but Lu silences her.
Anandi had been so good since coming to Novus. Apart from the animal kills, of course (but it was that or the baker, the halcyon cadet, the regent) and the turning of Leto, and most notably the... incident with Lucinda. She clearly wasn’t perfect, but she could be so much worse. It took enormous self-control, and for all the energy she poured into containing herself nobody ever thought to say “thank you”.
She imagines it, sometimes, when she walks away from a conversation brimming with unfulfilled desire. The sound of their voices, quivering with emotion: “Thank you for not ripping my throat out. Thank you for not eating me, bones and all. Thank you for not dragging me to the depths of the ocean and sharing me with your sisters.”
But no, they were all ungrateful little shits. Lucinda was perhaps the worst of all. Lucinda, whom Anandi saved from death-- death by her hand, sure, but it wasn’t like Lucinda wasn’t begging for a lesson in humility. Anandi had been generous, and her reward for that was to be forever bound to this bitch. Neither of them were happy with the situation, but at least the emissary once attempted to reason, to beguile... to navigate a shattered kind of friendship. Theirs would never be a jolly, wholesome relationship, but she wished it didn’t have to be so miserable.
And it wouldn’t, if Lucinda would just shut the fuck up.
But she doesn’t. She just goes on and on, laughing and goading and pushing. Like a stupid, dirty-faced, idiot child poking at a hornet’s nest. Anandi’s blood boils. It was a natural kind of violence that swelled, inevitable; a breath held too long, then finally exhaled. Release. The heart races, the lungs swell. The body, wound tight and aching for motion, hums with the righteousness of natural impulses nearly obeyed. The kelpie breathes in deep, holds it in, and the blood rushing through her demands:
Bow to the monster in you!
Succumb to your instinct!
Let go! Release! Let the mask fall away!
Anandi is tired of hearing Lucinda talk. And talking is clearly not a game the emissary will win this time, so she doesn’t waste her breath with a response. In a beautifully fluid motion she lunges forward at the other mare’s neck, teeth snapping with terrifying force. It isn’t about the rage, not really. It’s about the exhale. It feels so good. But if she could rip into Lucinda, just a little bit, just enough to put her in her place, then all the better.
I am the daydream, bring you faith and conviction
I am the nightmare you've been crawling through
Lucinda had wondered how long it might take for Anandi to snap. She so badly wanted her to. She wanted to see that rage again like the first time- that wild look in her eyes and the true sharpness of her teeth. She knows it's hidden under the "perfect, pretty, kind" facade she so carefully put together. No, Anandi is not all put together. No kelpie ever could be. There is something primal in them and Anandi knows it. She can feel it.
And she does feel it.
Yes!
When Anandi lunges, Lucinda takes the blow. She wants to feel the woman's rage as her teeth sink deep into her skin. Only this time, she is already turned. They are bonded, which Lu can feel more than ever now as the wound feels wrong. It stings in a way that's more than just a flesh wound- it's a wound in her soul.
And Lucinda is living for it. She can't hold in her laughter.
She kicks out her front leg towards Anandi's throat to loosen her grip on her neck so she can slip away for a moment. She would come back to it though. She knows the woman must be craving it now that the beast has been unleashed.
Abraxia stands off to the side watching with increasing worry. She knows her companion is more than capable of winning a fight, but that doesn't mean she likes to see her getting hurt. Lu gives the beast a side glance before turning back to Anandi with the biggest wicked smile on her face.
"Do you feel it now? How does it taste?" she asks, her eyes glistening. With a fluid motion of her own, she lunges back at Anandi with her jaw outstretched, hoping to give her a taste of her own medicine. And just to taste in general.
She would admit that- to the right audience she would always admit that.
The blood is beautiful, and the blood is true and some part of her would always be the beast that thrives in this moment. Teeth bared, chest heaving, body aching.
In some ways, she truly believed this was better than love.
The pegasus does not seem particularly inclined to defend herself. So Anandi latches on and she shakes. There’s blood in the water- not a lot, but she has the eye and nose for it. The eels would be out soon, drawn to the scent, and they would watch the fight with cold, unblinking eyes.
Lucinda is laughing and it sounds like rocks trying (failing) to make love to a machete. God-awful. Anandi would do anything to make it stop. When the time is right she draws back, smoothly avoiding the kick cleverly aimed at her chest. She grins, teeth painted with blood.
At this point Anandi has never known anyone who so loved the sound of their own voice- and yes, she’s aware of the hypocrisy there. So she’s not surprised when Lucinda speaks again. “Do you feel it now? How does it taste?”
Anandi rolls her eyes. Bitch, you think this is new to me? You think you’re special?!
“What the fuck do you want from me?” She growls. “On second thought, don’t answer that. Just- just shut up.” She almost says please, but it is bitten off abruptly. She’d rather choke on that word than let Lucinda hear it.
When the attack comes she rears up to take it head-on, head snaking out to bite at the other mare’s neck just as she feels teeth sink into the meaty flesh near the base of her mane. She screams into Lucinda’s skin- a kelpie’s scream, nothing at all like a woman. The sound is brutal and terrible- on the shore, flocks of birds take to the sky in fear- it is no siren’s song, but it has a strangely beautiful similarity. Horses on land will look to the sea, and although they tremble with fear they will take a single step closer to what they must surely know is their doom.
Doom in black, white, and silver. Anandi and Lucinda crash together like two opposing tides. Each mare with her teeth clasped on the other, Anandi rears up to hook her hooves on Lucinda’s wings and pull her down into the dark, beautiful water.
the danger is i'm dangerous and i might just tear you apart
I
f one were to call Lucinda a masochist, they would not be wrong. It hadn't been something she had considered until she became a kelpie. Now she reveled in it and sometimes even craved it. It's what she's been craving with Anandi for so long.
This is what she thinks when Anandi asks what she wants from her. It's a big question with many possible answers. Of course, Lu is too busy sinking her teeth into the pretty gray mare's skin to make any kind of reply. Let her wait on it, it's better that way. Make her suffer.
When Anandi bites into her again and screams, it's such a lovely sound. All the creatures around them don't think so as they run and fly away. Abraxia cries out too out of anguish as she watches her companion continue to be attacked. Lucinda has to give her a quick glare to shut her up. She is not in danger. In fact, it's quite the opposite.
She loses her grip on the woman's neck. There's not much time for her to even smirk when Anandi takes her down into the sea. Lucinda fully turns into her kelpie form and so Anandi has nothing for her hooves to hold onto as her wings disappear under the water. She slips away for a moment so she can face the other kelpie head on.
And she laughs.
"You pretend to be something you're not," Lucinda finally says, green eyes glowing and sharp teeth glistening. There is still the fresh taste of blood in her mouth. "When you're really just a monster like me."
Then she prepares for another attack. "Now is this the best you've got?" she challenges before thrusting herself through the water to aim a hoof to Anandi's throat for a kick. This time she doesn't want to taste blood. She wants her to choke.
The same can be said of rot, and rage, and avarice-- sometimes it is sweeter than others.
Shit makes the best fertilizer, rotten fruit the sweetest wine. And pain could fill the bones with songs even more beautiful than those of love. And far more sincere- you cannot lie with a punch. There is no room for deception within the violent embrace of a kick.
So they trade blows, and it is miles better than affection.
“You pretend to be something you’re not, when you're really just a monster like me.” Anandi stops and stares at Lucinda. Her blood is trailing slowly down the other woman’s muzzle. The scent of it is in the air, sweet and metallic, tantalizing.
The thing is, Lucinda is wrong. Anandi can have and be it all. She is the monster and the princess, the savage and the lady. And she will not apologize for any of it. “You don’t even try to be anything more.”
Anandi doesn’t dodge when Lucinda strikes at her neck. She leans back to soften the blow but lets it land with a wince. While the black mare is focused on the offensive, Anandi’s serpentine tail reaches out and circles around her neck. It does not tighten, not yet.
“Enough of this,” she says. Her voice is hoarse, roughened by the blow to the throat. Her eyes are heavy and analyzing as she looks over the Kelpie she made. “I’m getting bored.” Her tail tightens around Lucinda’s strong neck. She admired the other woman, she really did.
“I’m leaving now. You can come with and be civil, or you can stay.” She grins, knowing how it would chafe Lucinda to be given an ultimatum. Good. Her grip suddenly goes slack; she twists away and deeper into the sea, which quickly absolves her in its embrace.
the danger is i'm dangerous and i might just tear you apart
L
ucinda is laughing. She is laughing for how small minded Anandi seems to be, how she claims the onyx kelpie doesn't try to be anything more. She is laughing at how the woman takes the blow and she's still laughing as the other kelpie twists her tail around her throat.
There is more blood in her throat than there is air or water, but still, this is so hilarious for her. She doesn't mind the pain or the lightheadedness that comes shortly after. She enjoys every moment of it.
But her fun is cut short - too short. Anandi claims she's bored and this is what finally makes Lucinda stop laughing. She is disappointed and frustrated. They were only just getting started.
She watches the gray mare leave, but she does not follow. Part of her wants to so she can attack from behind, but she doesn't. Abraxia is already going crazy from above the sea and wants to make sure Lucinda is okay.
"Bitch," is all she mumbles as she comes up to the surface and swims back to her dragon's side.
Anandi had been so good since coming to Novus. Apart from the animal kills, of course (but it was that or the baker, the halcyon cadet, the regent) and the turning of Leto, and most notably the... incident with Lucinda. She clearly wasn’t perfect, but she could be so much worse. It took enormous self-control, and for all the energy she poured into containing herself nobody ever thought to say “thank you”. 
