just breathe through me we'll keep the fires alight
Dawn breaks. Damp dew clings stubbornly, soon to be chased away by the heat of the afternoon sun.
The cascade of colors rise with the sun, piercing the dark streets of the markets and illuminating the world around them, stirring it into wakefulness with the song of birds and gentle murmur of hungover voices. Soon, these silent streets will be bustling with life once more. The hours of silence here were few and far between, as the Night Court seemed to be nothing but a true self-fulfilling prophecy.
The busiest Court in Novus, people had called it. Isra knew well by now that such a statement wasn’t a lie.
The Sun Daughter moved through the streets of the market, stepping nimbly off of the main thoroughfare and giving a polite nod to those she passed by. Best to enjoy the simplicity of taking a stroll in the streets while she could, before everyone knew her. Word would arrive soon enough, be it by rumor or by her own tongue that evening, but Israfel desperately wanted to be the one to tell Luvena the results of what had happened.
Her heart clenched uncertainty within her breast, stuttering and nervous as gilded, cloven hooves guided the new Queen of Denocte towards a humble clinic. The revelation within Veneror still clung to her, stealing her breath, making her muscles quake and tremble with nerves… But it was fine. It would be fine. Wouldn’t it? It had to be.
This.... This affection, this fond adoration, it had been a very, very long time since she had felt it to such a degree. It was poisonous, rotting her veins and cloying her thoughts and made it terribly hard to function. A simple task became that much harder, because inadvertently, the ivory woman’s mind always cast itself back to this clinic, shunting itself back to thinking of its inhabitant and wondering how she was doing, what she was doing, if she needed anything…
Heaving a breath, Israfel rolled her eyes. “You’re a fool, Isra,” she muttered bitterly, contrite and chastising, gritting her teeth firm enough that it nearly hurt, before she relaxed her jaw.
Love.
She was in love. With Luvena.
With Luvena.
… Fucking hell.
Despite her plethora of complicated thoughts on the matter, however, Israfel still found herself standing outside of the wooden clinic door and hesitating. It was the right thing to do, she consoled, letting her thoughts bolster her confidence even though it wavered like a filly taking her first steps, She won’t be mad. She’ll understand.
Right?
Heaving a breath, the Sun Daughter gave a gentle knock upon the clinic door, took a step back, thought about it, and then took a second step away from the door before waiting. She stood at attention, shoulders tense, wings held primly and properly, the joints tired and fatigued from her flight from the Steppe. Was it too early? Would Lu still be sleeping? Should she have brought coffee? Did Luvena even drink coffee? No, no. She was a ‘tea-person’. Abruptly, the Sun Daughter’s expression wrinkled with a grimace. Of course she would fall in love with a ‘tea-person’. Maybe flowers… Fuck, she should have brought flowers. Isra grumbled quietly to herself for a second in disappointment at her lack of foresight. She had even stopped in Eluetheria on her way home, and there had been tons of wildflowers.
Oh well.
Maybe just bringing ‘herself’ would be a suitable enough gift.
She had read the note so many times over. She felt silly doing so. Afterall, it was only a few sentences long. But something about it was so tender, and kind. Solaris had stayed behind with her for a day. Watching. She was glad it was her and not Israfel. She had not been well the day after the storm, and while she was sure the phoenix would tell the woman that. She was glad that she hadn’t been there to see it.
Not after how concerned she had been. Even now, a week later, she could feel the remnants of that fiery warmth on her side. Luvena wished she could say she didn’t know how she felt about it. But she did. She felt it so plainly and clearly that it was almost painful, not knowing if it was reciprocated or not.
She had just woken up, preparing the clinic to open when she heard the soft tap on her door. Polar probably, coming to help her for the day. She opened the door without much thought, about to gesture the young mare in when she realized that it was Israfel who stood outside. Stiff as a board mind you, as if standing at attention. “At ease battlemage” she teased, gesturing her inside.
“What brings you here so early?” She was desperately trying not to be awkward. It was hard to look at her without thinking about all the feeling brewing in her heart. She had even mentioned it to Caelum the other day. Not by name, or anything of the sort but. Well, saying it loud made it true. Yet she couldn’t work up the courage to admit it. Last time… well, last time it hadn’t gone well.
just breathe through me we'll keep the fires alight
The door opened. Despite the fire in her veins, Israfel felt frozen to the spot, vermilion eyes darting up immediately to focus upon Luvena’s gentle turquoise depths. Rose-kissed lips tried to force a genuine smile, but she knew the expression seemed far more sheepish than intended. Everything seemed fine between them, until Lu spoke.
’At ease, Battlemage.’
Oh. Something within her breast twisted pleasantly at the teasing remark, but despite it, Israfel reluctantly felt herself relax. The tension seeped from her muscles, her form visibly sagging where she stood in the alley, and when Luvena motioned for her to step inside, she was helpless but to obey. Gilded hooves carried the Sun Daughter into the darker interior of the clinic and as she passed by Lu, she tossed the slighter woman a sardonic, cocksure grin.
“I hope I didn’t wake you,” she commented, feeling the ego return, the confidence thrumming through her veins as she grew comfortable within the talented medic’s capable presence once again. Something about Luvena made it so easy to just be herself. “I just… I needed to see you. I needed to talk to you, um. It’s kind’ve important.” A glance around the clinic gave away that they were alone, but for how long? How long until someone came knocking? If someone interrupted, Israfel honestly wasn’t sure if she held the patience to not just throw them out. “You found my letter, I assume? Solaris said that you were well.”
The now-absent Solaris had, in fact, kept to herself about Luvena’s state, keeping Israfel none the wiser to the way the medic had been laid bare by her condition shortly after the evening of the terrible storm. Had it worsened, Solaris would have said something… But such a distraction would serve Israfel no good in her battle, and so the Phoenix had kept the secret to herself. Not that Israfel knew that, of course.
She couldn’t help but look the mare up and down. She wanted it to be subtle but she wasn’t sure it was… Israfel was stunning. All fierce beauty and grace. Luvena swore she could have plowed down an army on her own. A small part of her, a vain selfish part of her, longed to own that kind of ferocity for herself again. To stand before Israfel with stars in her pelt, and a gaze to rival the gilded mares. She wanted Israfel to see her as she saw Israfel.
She seemed confident again for just a moment, but it seemed to fade quickly into a more serious tone. “You didn’t” she reassured, shaking her head. “I was already getting the clinic ready to open.” She furrowed her brow slightly at the comment. Worried that bad news was coming her way. Was this about the other night? Had she been too forward, too much? Her mind was racing away from her. “Oh?” she asked, trying to calm herself. She watched as Israfel looked around at the clinic, the door. “No one will knock. Well… Pol maybe, but I don’t know if she’s coming today” she murmured. “Usually patients wait for me to open the doors. They know I will.”
She was surprised to hear of Solaris words, and found herself wondering. She was under the impression that the phoenix was very loyal to Israfel, unless she had a reason to keep it from her, to not worry her. She nodded, trying to keep the surprise out of her face. “I did…”
just breathe through me we'll keep the fires alight
There were brief reassurances that came, which did wonders to calm Israfel’s rising nerves. Good, then, that she didn’t accidentally wake Lu prior to needing to be up and about. It helped soothe some of her rising concerns. Which, as of late, were quite plentiful and really fucking bothersome.
Weakly, she quirked a grin. “I’m glad. I was worried I might have to bring coffee for this.”
Resisting the urge to sigh heavily against her own exhausting, mental commentary, the Sun Daughter instead listened with a flick of an ivory ear. Glittering eyes of ruby focused on Luvena, listening to every word, and she gave a contemplative, placid nod of her head. There were a few moments that passed by, fleeting at best, where those striking turquoise eyes seemed to do a once-over, roving Israfel’s pale body from head to toe with a look so familiar… The look, rich in something, remained just beyond Isra’s reach, in a place that was so close she could nearly name it, and yet…
Yearning? Was it yearning? The thought left her baffled. Yearning for what? But, no, that wasn’t quite it.
Throughout her lifetime, Israfel had been the subject of many advances. She would never forget the hungry look of a potential suitor who came clambering her way. This glance from Luvena, akin to the kiss of a butterfly, was nothing like it, yet she was fairly sure she understood it all the same.
Attraction.
Surely not. Definitely not. Oh, shit. Something about the realization caused her body to grow hot, something unraveling within her core. Interesting. Hope, maybe? Curiosity? Interesting, indeed.
Heart racing, pulse pounding within her veins so loudly she could hear the rush of her own blood in her ears, the ivory maiden found herself almost missing everything that Luvena had continued to say. Fuck. Pay attention, Isra. Get your head out of your ass and listen.
Pol, Lu mentioned. Israfel didn’t know anyone named ‘Pol’, but trusted the other woman to not be concerned should this individual come around. Isra nodded, glanced about one last time, and then went to say her piece.
“Lu…” Diplomacy has never been Israfel’s strong suit. Words had never served her as well as her own sheer brute force could, or the burning rage of her fire, and so she found herself floundering for a way to say this with all the respect it deserved. "I wanted to be the one to tell you. You would find out soon, but I wanted you to hear it from me." Holding her breath, mulling it over, Israfel heaved a sigh and lifted her stare once more. When she spoke, her words were serious, but her expression remained kind, yet dedicated.
“I challenged Ira for his throne.” A moment passed, and then another. It would be enough time for the surprise to set in, for Luvena to really, truly listen and understand. “He didn’t show up.”
He forfeited his crown. There were no questions about what that meant, for Denocte, for her.
’At ease, Battlemage.’ The words rang again. Battlemage, no longer.
Despite everything, Israfel continued to talk. Her expression twisted, growing concerned, growing desperate, her eyes burning hot with passion, with the same fierce dedication she attempted everything in life with.
“Denocte has become my home, Lu… Because of you. I’ve walked these streets, I’ve settled into this land, I’ve come to think fondly of the songs and dances of the Night Court and the people who call it home. I want to see it protected. I want to see it guided. I wanted change, Lu, for the better, for a brighter future for this place that has so much potential to be great, if only someone could step up and do it. I want to someday, maybe, when my time comes, leave Denocte better than the way that I had found it, because everyone here deserves it. Because you deserve it.” The words poured like water from a tap, spilling and tumbling, and Israfel’s heart raced within her breast. “Because you are here.”
Israfel dared a step closer, her eyes piercing, staring deep into the vivid blue of the woman she loved. The rich timbre of her words comes out rumbling, like distant thunder, as she stepped into Lu’s space, hoping, praying, ’don’t pull away, please, please see this for what it is, what I’m offering you, what I cannot say with words because I don’t know how.’
“The world has been unkind to you, Lu. I won’t let it happen again.”
It was her first promise, as Queen. The first of many.
She let a small laugh escape her. “I’m not really much of a coffee drinker” she replied. She had figured that out years ago. The boost of energy she’d felt had been fantastic. It would have been better if her body could have kept up with that feeling. Her ears flicked forward. The more Israfel spoke the more anticipation she felt. “Okay…”
Realization washed over her quickly. He didn’t show up. She knew what that meant, when a challenge went unanswered. “You’re the queen.” It was a simple statement, but one that had disappointment washing over her. Not because she was the queen now. No. That was a good thing, it was, she was glad of it. But she had hoped, so much of her had hoped…
It had been a foolish thought. That Israfel had come here to tell her she felt the same way. That they could be something more. That during the storm she too had pressed up against her just to know, just to feel something more. Oh and how badly Luvena had longed for that, how hard she had let herself hope for it. She could feel her heart snapping in two… what a stupid thought indeed…
But then Israfel kept talking. Her ears flicked forwards. The more she went on, the faster her heart started to race.Nothing in her words was indicative. But something about them, the tone behind them. And then it came, her own words from before echoed back at her “Because you’re here’. Israfel stepped closer.
She could feel her pulse quicken, her heart expanding. The other mare stood so close she could see every gold etching in the woman's horn. Vermillion met turquoise as Luvena matched her gaze, stare full of longing, and yearning. Was this what it was really like? To feel something.
With Obyana she had thought she’d known. He was haughty, and fiery. And yet when it came to their moments he was gentle. She remembered how he would run his muzzle down her back. For a long time, she had remembered it, and felt foolish. Now… now she looked back and could remember. Remember how sometimes she would catch a glimpse of disgust on his face when she lay clammy by the fireplace. How he would never be in her company when she’d visit the outskirts.
With Cavalier she had been certain. So certain she’d spent a wish to bear her child. She had been gentle, and kind, and Luvena had wanted to stay by her side. But how much of that want had been for her, and how much had been for the idea of her? And in the end had it been worth it? To settle for a while, and then to be left, down a child and a friend, in a land she didn’t even want to call home.
And Rhone… well. Now she knew, none of that had been love. That had been desire, just to feel something again. Trying to push back the numb that had taken hold of her for so long.
This. this. Gods above she had never been so certain of anything in her life. She would swear it Acrux’s face that this was real. Even if Israfel stood here aflame she thought. She would still want this more than she had ever wanted before.
She took a step forward, and pressed her nose to Israfel’s before she had a chance to think about it, before she could back down out of it. “Isra?” she murmured. “I think…” she glanced up, without pulling away, meeting those vermillion eyes again. Hoping that her gaze would convey what she knew her words never could.
just breathe through me we'll keep the fires alight
The air between them is brimming with potential, charged and heady, burning, cloying.
Israfel’s eyes remain locked upon Luvena’s own, watching the myriad of emotions that flicker across her delicate, pretty face, cataloguing every detail that is absorbed and understood, that is processed and ultimately decided. She doesn’t pull away as the Sun Daughter grows closer, pressing into her personal space, and bravely, surprisingly, the slighter mare instead dares a step closer.
The distance between them is as thin as a razor but for a single moment longer, a final hesitance, before Luvena, blessed, wonderful, stalwart Luvena, presses the velvet of her nose against Isra’s rose-kissed own.
A tremor shudders through the ivory woman’s body, quaking, leaving her so very weak yet so incredibly emblazoned. They have touched before, certainly; small, delicate moments of affection, of fondness, gentle and fleeting in passing and nothing more. They have lain together to warm, damp from a storm, and that had been lingering, questioning, is this alright? Ultimately deciding that it was fine, despite their brimming, burning curiosities. But this…
This.
It is fire. It burns through Israfel in a way that reminds her of the evening her own fires turned against her, willed by her Godly father, burning her inside and out, stealing the breath from the lungs and the life from her soul… It was frightening, this touch, this burning, this spark between them that they had kindled together, nursing unknowingly to a small ember. Israfel knew, intrinsically, that she had the power to turn that spark into a flame, twist what was building between them into a burning inferno, hot and heady and all consuming, but she also knew that such a raging fire could burn them both if they were not careful.
Luvena was not a fire for her to control. Israfel could bend the elements to her will, could challenge and fight and conquer, could manipulate, twist, and command, but this woman, (so thin, so frail, so delicate), so weak in body but strong, powerful of mind, with keen wit and sharp ambition, could never be tamed… And Israfel did not want to tame her.
Vermilion eyes slowly closed as she breathed, inhaling deeply, letting herself drown in Luvena’s earthy scent. She smelled of warmth, of home, a spice of herb, familiar and grounding. The tension in those ivory shoulders began to ebb, dispersing as she relaxed, her form visibly relaxing as she pressed a little closer, shifting her stance so that she could press both muzzle and cheek against Luvena’s own without breaking line of sight.
Letting her eyes flicker open, peering inquisitively through ivory lashes and emboldened by their touch and Luvena’s open-ended statement, letting silence swallow the words she could not seem to say, the new Queen of Denocte spoke for them both.
“I would like very much, Luvena, if you would allow me to court you.”
She remembered the sea in Elysium. It could never be described as calm. It’s waters were always surging, and broiling, each movement threatening to siuck you down into it. She had spent so many days standing on the cliffs, watching, waiting. Nothing ever happened, and yet day by day she had been compelled to watch it, never taking the plunge into the foam. Never setting foot in those waves.
Now she was taking the plunge.
Luvena was drowning in her. Every breath like waves crashing over the shore, every shared glance sent her deeper under the surf. She relished in it. In every breath shared between them, the air sweet with it. She was standing on the edge of a precipice, and she wanted nothing more than to dive headfirst into it. And they did.
No one had ever looked at her the way Israfel did. Obyana’s gaze had always been stern, strong. Rhone’s had been full of pity. And Cavalier… well cavalier had never looked at her. She was blind. But Israfel. Israfel looked at her like there was nothing else, like she was the center of the universe. Like she was beautiful. She was consumed by the fire between them, and for it once, the thought didn’t fill her with terror.
She shuddered as Israfel pressed closer, nose to nose, cheek to cheek, eyes locked. Never had a moment been more surreal. She could feel the other woman sparking underneath the surface, and while the idea of being touched by physical flames sent prickles of fear through her, she didn’t pull away. She would never pull away. Not from this.
A smile crept over her lips, eyes brighter then they had been in a long time. “Oh gods yes” she replied. “Yes. I’ve wanted nothing more since…” She was going to say the storm but, she thought, that really, it had been longer than that. From the moment she saw her she had felt it. But it had seemed like a foolish thought, just a fleeting desire. She was overjoyed that it wasn’t. “I’ve wanted nothing more for a long time”
