e knows the sky is full of stars. He knows some of them by name. When the woman proclaims she had once been a star, he lifts his head to stare neutrally at her. His gaze is not condescending or questioning; he merely waits for her to form her words before any emotion is weighed in. He quietly ponders her words. "A star" Benedict repeats, mulling the origin over. He also knows any questions regarding her words would probably not be understood by Veil. He keeps them to himself. "yes, you look like a star. A galaxy."
He hopes that is enough for her. It stood to reason why she could not speak well, and why she looked like a nebula. He did not reject such a notion; his upbringing had been very... limited, compared to the equines of Novus. He sported not even wings. He was plain. Simple. But he was also not vain. "I make" he begins again at her question, roaming a bit away where he had rested his claymore against jutting rocks. He approaches it now, tapping his right hoof against the steel "item" but also "weapon." It was what it was. 'Armor' was probably less complicated.
But he had no armor to show her for example. He spots her necklace, nodding to it. "Jewelry." He made a plethora of things, but he was also very new at it still. Not a master in any regard.
Visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
Caught up in a palentary world
It was like the first time someone said the word star.
The words clicked, connected. Galaxy. Galaxy. Large, expansive, so many stars, the image was as wild and alive as anything she imagined, all the nebulas, the systems together. She smiled faintly, shaking her head in soft amusement, eyes sparkling up at him, No, not galaxy. Nebula. She corrects, pausing, trying to think, to explain. Her tone shifts, growing softer, wiser, betraying that true age that doesn't mirror how old this new body appears, Galaxies . . . What was the sound, the one that always made her think of lots and lots of dots, Galaxies many. Many stars. Many nebulas. Many. Nebulas not many. Nebulas . . . She fell quiet for a moment.
Nebulas, alone. The sound seemed right.
The emotion Jane used with it described it perfectly. Her smile as faded, and her rose-hued eyes seemed to cloud up slightly from the memories, the feelings, the emotions that she associated with those final days. Pain, heat, pressure. Coming in all at once. Bright white, to darkest, jet black. Suffocating, suffocating, suffocating, suffocating. Always pressure, always all over. Heat, scorch, scaring. Then tugging, pulling, pain, so much pain. Condescing, smaller, smaller, ripping apart, scattering, empty. Cold. Alone. Afraid. Pain. Pain. Pain. Alone. Pain. Pressure. Cold. It's okay little one, I'll make this better, make you better, make you whole again.
She still isn't aware of what god had sat with her.
But they had been patient, always with her through the pain, through the struggle as she was forced to undergo that process in reverse, pressure as a star ignited, as a body was collapsing, reforming around her out of the molecules she had left behind returned. The pain had been extreme at this point, and only that soft voice, repeating small phrases had kept her distracted enough to not lose the new mind she was being given. It had saved her. But she'd always remember those agonizing thousands upon hundreds of thousands of years.
She shakes off the emotions, putting on an apologic smile.
But she appreciated his words regardless. She tilted her head when he spoke again, suddenly explaining his crafting, watching as he touched an steel piece against the walls, calling it first item, and then weapon. She frowned, as she approaches slowly, looking over it, her expression showing confusion over two names for it. Item? Weapon? She asked, repeating the new words carefully, tilting her head, with a pause between them, as if asking for which one for it, not yet aware of the fact something could have multiple words to describe it, from item, to weapon, to even claymore. Then he nods to her necklace, and she glances down, touching the glowing rock curiously, repeating this word slowly, Jew . . . jewelry." Before looking up at him with hopeful eyes that she'd gotten it right, an almost desperation that she was doing well.
Getting better, better enough to be able to communicate properly.
Better enough that all these thoughts in her head won't have to be trapped and one sided any more. She looks back at the item then, tilting her head, and sniffing at the claymore curiously, before voicing a final question, a means to get more information, Weapon? What exactly was it, and why did it give her such a foreboding feeling?
FROM THE MOUTH INSIDE THE MIND
@Benedict Notes:: Yes, teach her all the words.
Breathin' in you give me air, I'm living on your solar flare
Could you be my super nova girl?
He smiles almost sadly, knowing the feeling of being alone. "Alone too" he says simply, gesturing to himself with a leg "not anymore though" Benedict adds, gesturing to the world of Novus "many here. Not lonely any more." Veil had begun to speak more and more. He wondered if constant exposure to words would make her learn... and realized it was a lot like teaching a foal to speak for the first time.
"Items" he adds, gesturing to the bag and the weapon in return "means any... no" he pauses, frowning. it means anything usable but that would be too complicated "you use. For many things" Benedict taps the claymore again with a hoof "you fight. with this" it had been his bodyguard's weapon, something from a long ago time in his kingdom. where he had been a prince. "you defend self. and others."
"item is something you use. weapon is item with purpose." he adds, his eyes darkening with sadness.
he had crawled from the bodies of the fallen to find his own way out. the only thing he could grasp was his friend's claymore, dragging it with him. using it to cut down any foe in his way...
"Yes" Benedict gives a nod "jewelry. Wear. It is... pretty. Useful. An item."
Visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
Caught up in a palentary world
Her sentences felt so fragmented compared to his.
But his words were now easier to learn, to understand, to grasp, and as she felt each new sound become an actual meaning her head, she could feel that spark of joy that maybe she could make it through this world. This land. She could find a way to properly express herself, to do better, be better than just an awkward horse, stumbling her way through life for eternity - if she even had that long to live. What would her lifespan be now, as a star that is a horse?
It was worries like these that kept her alone, in a sense.
Who else could understand it? Then he spoke, and she glances at him when he calls himself alone, but not anymore. Most of the words didn't hold much meaning, but the majority of the information she could get by his gestures. She nods slightly, a faint smile on her face, New Friends, New Family. Make not lonely. She paused, then glanced up at him, eyes wide, hopeful, energetic and pure, We, friends? Yes? Perhaps the only life mission she would hold (until she realized she was missing a connection with a single soul who would complete her better than anything else in the world), making friends to make sure she was never alone again.
He spoke more, this time giving the word a second part, an added extra sound.
She watched as he gestured to multiple things, starting to explain before pausing, and correcting himself. Not a lot of it made sense, but the final three words were what she needed. Many things. same noise for many things. He then defined the weapon, making noises like 'fighting' 'defend'. The sounds seemed to harsh, but not bad. Like two sides of a coin, flip one way for good news, the other for the bad news. She remained quiet, wondering exactly what those sounds meant in the long run, before focusing on more information. Use. Purpose. So many confusing words. When his attention returned to the jewelry, she smiled brightly as she looked down at it, glad she got the word right, before hearing him use a sound Jane had used before, wear. Then the item word again, and use-ful. Pretty. Only some of the words made sense, but she smiled, and nodded anyways, because at least it was a start. FROM THE MOUTH INSIDE THE MIND
@Benedict Notes:: Yes, teach her all the words.
Breathin' in you give me air, I'm living on your solar flare
Could you be my super nova girl?
e smiles at the woman, giving a nod. "Friends" he says back "yes." Benedict had no reason to not call her a friend. He was thankful for any encounter - or nearly any one - in this brand new land. Novus had been around for a long time, he assumed, but it was new to him. He was also thankful for any connections he would come to make here. Perhaps it would not be so bad to remain.
"Fight" he muses, glancing forlornly at the claymore "I... do not like" she had seemed almost perturbed by the weapon's essence "I defend" Benedict adds to Veil "only fight if need to" senseless violence never sat well with him, but some did it recklessly. Needlessly. He never liked those types of folks. "fight made me lose family. Old friends" he bites back a sigh, smiling sadly "I start over. Make new." Like Veil, he supposed. Weren't they all just starting over here in Novus?
"You have other friends?" he asked Veil, tilting his head.
Visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
Caught up in a palentary world
She couldn't stop the delight in her eyes, when he confirmed it.
Friends, she had made another friend. Her eyes were bright, and she seemed to shed off more of that galactic particles, as she nodded brightly, Yes, friend. She agreed, smiling vibrant, a slight laugh leaving her, in clear excitement. It was almost heartbreaking to imagine how rare this was for her. How often others didn't adjust to her own communication issues, wrote her off, didn't try because it was too hard, thought she was too stupid. Didn't see the intelligence, the frustration, the wisdom hidden behind her eyes, unable to be released.
She felt like this was the most progress she'd made in a while.
But it was hard when you were starting with absolutely no concept of language. His expression turned, and she frowned as he looked at the weapon, and this time as he spoke that first word that made her nervous, she was surprised by the others, catching the drift of what he meant. She didn't hesitate, having long ago realized she could show more support silently, with touch, then with her lack of words. Her muzzle gently touched his shoulder, a silent show of support, of understand. He continued though, explaining that second word, defend; was his. Fighting only if he needed to. She hesitated for just a moment, starting to understand the emotions, for their meanings. She knew a sound that reminded her of fighting, and when she spoke it was almost hesitantly, quietly asking if her understanding, her own connections were in the right direction, Fight . . . ugly? Defend . . . She pauses, tilting her head, silently working through her thoughts, Defend . . . like, home. family. but. not?" Her tone was confused, and in that moment, if he had been paying attention, he'd make the connection that there was something else supplying her with definition, helping her out, her own source of connecting sounds to meanings.
She looks back up when he spoke again.
His sad smile had her frowning, and once again she offered her gentle, supportive touch, trying to express the empathy and reassurance she didn't have words for, before offering him a reassuring smile, New . . . not bad, Lose . . . She pauses for a moment, trying to connect the words, the noises when she didn't have words, lose hard. Painful. That bright smile returned as she playfully bumped her shoulder against his, that dazzling smile trying to fix his drop in mood, Not alone, any more. Friends, now. She added firmly before perking up even more and nodding her head quickly, Jane! Home, Solterra. Her smile hesitated for a moment, Not see . . . for many days. Not stay, she pausing, searching for the noise she'd heard explain the constant rush, the never being there, busy. many busy days.
The loneliness had crept back, and that's why she'd started to explore again.
FROM THE MOUTH INSIDE THE MIND
@Benedict Notes:: Yes, teach her all the words.
Breathin' in you give me air, I'm living on your solar flare
Could you be my super nova girl?
t was quite rare that Benedict allowed someone to get close enough to touch him. He hadn't realized the woman had it in her, to approach so boldly. But here she was, offering support. He smiled down at her, sad still. His eyes flashed with an unreadable but pained expression. "War" he states now, realizing 'coup' might be too much "war come. Family gone. Friends gone." It was still bittersweet to say 'kill' and 'dead'.
"I defend if it feels right" he says solemnly, nodding "do not want to fight to fight" he hoped that Veil understood that. If they were to be friends, she would not see him blindly rushing into a battle for the sake of conceived loyalty. He would rather do it for dear friends, and equines who could never fight for themselves "blood... blood is wrong" Benedict adds quietly, shaking his head with a sigh "spill blood, wrong." And killing... was even worse.
But enough with bad things.
"Thank you, Veil" he adds to her "yes, we are friends. Not alone."
She speaks of a person called Jane. Solterra. Oh, Jane was from Solterra? That was Jane's home. Veil says she hadn't seen Jane in a long time. He nods. "Busy is good" he chuckles now "I try to be busy" but it was often trial-and-error work "Jane will make time for you, I'm sure."
Visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
Caught up in a palentary world
When he spoke, he said new noises.
But this time, as he said war, there was an odd chill down her side, and her gaze briefly flicked to the sky, knowing only one thing that gave her the same chill, when Mars was on the move. But the planet wasn't intensely visibly, writhing red, and she felt herself relax a minute bit, but as she looked back at him, it was with the understanding that the mare wanted to offer her reassurances, understanding now that Mars had shined brightly for him in the past. When she spoke, it was different this time, her gaze returning to the sky, and briefly, the universe seemed to speak for her, words, knowledge, memories coming from a connection that was only starting to re-establish itself,
Mars does not judge who he shines down upon.
Her gaze was lost in the skies as if those very secrets were running through her mind in that brief moment. Snippets of words, whispers, knowledge slipped through her mind briefly, a partial connection she wasn't ready to accept yet, wasn't ready to be aware of yet. The familiar whispers of her brothers and sisters, fellow stars always watching, always knowing, many far more advanced in speech than she was, others still humming on a frequency they all were born into, to communicate. She looks away suddenly, blinking, and suddenly Veil was back to normal.
The connection is once more broken, unestablished.
She offered a gentle smile, Ugly. Bad. She murmured soothingly, before frowning slightly at his words, and her gaze briefly returned to the sky, Not gone. She says this with softly spoken wisdom, her gaze briefly flicking back to him, her smile reassuring, Home, sky. She seemed to hesitate as if trying to express what she knew in her heart, what she knew in her head, what had always been whispered to her by the universe. We were all atoms, molecules, part of it. Every individual had stardust inside them, and that connection to the universe was stronger in some than others.
But it meant that the connection between us all never had to fade.
Or so she had always grown to believe. Those lost to time, gone; they had gone back to the universe, and one day a reunion would occur, whether in some waiting room, reincarnation, or other means, it would come for us all. She can't say this in words, but she knows a better way to express it. Her muzzle drops, briefly resting it above his heart, Here, always. She states firmly, pulling back fairly quickly as she felt the odd heartbeat these mortals had compared to her own silent and still chest, from where the pulsating star didn't need an actual beat to force the stardust through her veins.
He speaks more, and she turns her attention back to him.
His words are still so . . . . lonely. sad. blue and gray and black. sad and blue. wistful and gray. black and resolute. and blue and black and gray and blue and sad and lonely and sad and- and she wanted to help, to offer him any sort of comfort she could, and it was in this very moment she swore she'd overcome this horridness of being unable to communicate, unable to express all the thoughts, all the feelings trapped in her head. Doing nothing more than relying on body language.
But she did her best with what she had.
Her head tilted to the side, ears falling with sympathy, and her smile was softer, gentler, as gentle as the touch she'd used earlier to express her support and sympathy. But she doesn't try to speak, instead, she is letting him talk, to talk through it. He says many words she doesn't understand again, defend coming back, same as fight. And this time fighting is suddenly associated with war in her head, the connection snapping as she suddenly understood the feeling. But defend still is hard for her to comprehend. Then he says a word she has no understanding of. She blinks, ears falling to the side in confusion as nothing, no clue comes up, Blood?
There is a distinct question here. For more information.
The star couldn't understand something that wasn't quite the same as what she had. But then, he thanks her and her smile is bright again, nodding at his follow-up as well, Yes. She says softly, her smile warm, causing the galaxies trapped in her pink eyes to sparkle and shimmer, unable to express just how it is better with friends, and then she talks of Jane, and she smiles warmly at the knowledge of her best friend before he spoke and she couldn't help the slight pout, Busy, lonely. She corrects, ears flat, I . . . not busy. Lonely. It was hard to be busy, to find something to do when you couldn't really understand the world around you.
You couldn't help others when you couldn't help yourself.
It made her feel like a burden to Jane, trouble that Jane got saddled with, unable to help, to assist in this world. To sit at home and just wait for Jane to come home. Benedict speaks again and she looks up after a moment, and she smiles slightly, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes this time, those troubling thoughts crowding her gaze, Yes, maybe. she merely murmurs, understanding the background emotion of the words, the context clues to deduce what he means, but it doesn't shake the feeling that she's holding Jane back. Would Jane grow bitter? Having to work so hard to support them both? Would Jane grow to hate her, because she was so pathetic? Would Jane eventually leave her too? Alone. Lonely.
She was so afraid of being alone again.
Trapped, struggling through a silent, black hole.
Crushing. Pressuring down. Pain. Alone.
So alone. Again.
FROM THE MOUTH INSIDE THE MIND
@Benedict Notes:: <3
Breathin' in you give me air, I'm living on your solar flare
Could you be my super nova girl?
Even as a foal, Benedict had not been privy to comfort. His parents were hard of heart, public figureheads. They hadn't been able to provide comfort to their only son in the eyes of the world. He never faulted them for it, but it only made it strange when others willingly gave him comforting words or notions. He smiled, still sad and far away, and gave a nod to Veil. "Thank you." It was all he could offer her, for he wasn't sure what was right or wrong in such a situation.
She proclaimed that his family and friends resided in the sky. Heaven. Ah, a concept he didn't quite believe in. He didn't say it to her though, following the woman's gaze to look at the darkening sky. Soon they'd have to part ways. He had to go back to the Dusk Court, his place of residence. It was not proper to be out so late. He shakes back to earth when she utters blood? The man nods, raising a hoof to tap at a vein on his neck. "Blood."
But Veil was full of words. Questions or statements, she was eager to learn more. Jane was busy, and her friend was lonely. Veil wasn't busy. She was lonely, so she wandered in search of entertainment. He could understand that. Benedict was good with his own company, but others weren't. They weren't good or close friends with themselves. He had time to be alone and process. He felt alone in crowds. "You can visit" he says to Veil, gesturing to the world, to where Dusk was on the road.
He lowered his hoof to the ground. "If Jane is busy, you can visit me."
Visions of your pretty face send me into hyper space
Caught up in a palentary world
It was something she had picked up from Jane.
The use of touch conveys so much. From support to strength. Reassurance and comfort, even love and affection. It was this ability that had blossomed between her and her best friend to help them understand each other. So she didn't hesitate to offer it to him. He didn't seem to know how to react to it, however, and Veil didn't mind, instead, she nodding gently when he said the words that sounded like soft graciousness. She repeated them a few times in her head, to herself, associating them with the emotion they provoked before she tried to offer reassurances.
Of course, it didn't seem to help as she thought,
and she wondered briefly - did she get it wrong again. Did he not understand? The molecules of the body wouldn't just stay in one place. They would be released, returned to the air, the atmosphere, into the galaxy itself. Everyone was made of stardust, and eventually, the stardust always seems to find its way back to the stars. Perhaps those not connected to the universe weren't ready to hear that part? Or maybe it was insensitive to the minds and memories of the ones lost, to only think on their own stardust.
But, to a star, it made sense.
It was another piece of evidence that they weren't quite the same. His heartbeat. Her chest held a silent, pulsating star. And it appeared he had something called blood. He tapped at his neck, and she was again so confused, so lost. She pauses before glancing at him in confusion, reaching towards him, and pausing as if to make sure it was okay before her muzzle touched at the place where his hood had tapped. She didn't understand what he meant until she jumped back in an obvious start at the slight echo of that heartbeat in his veins. She blinked, frowning, concerned, confused. Why did their bodies beat?! She used her muzzle, point first to his neck, then to his heart, and made the odd bump-bump sound with her hoof, not remembering the word that Jane had used, but repeating his, Blood? She didn't understand, even as her muzzle searched her own skin, trying to see if she had anything that made the same weird beating - but to of course not notice anything except the slightest pressure of the radiation her star produced that was kept contained within her body, fueling it. The nuclear reactions that fed her with the ions she needed to maintain herself at a subatomic level - while the food and water she ate helped her feel a little more 'normal'.
But she did not understand the reference of blood.
Her ears fell back, her expression softening, saddening at the lack of a correlation to be made, ears pinched slightly. He was trying so hard to explain everything to her, but she just couldn't understand this one word. Would he be upset, disappointed in her? Would he decide she was too stupid now, be unwilling to help, to assist, to share his knowledge. Would this be it - the end of her chance to learn more? He didn't seem to mind yet, when instead he suddenly spoke some words, gesturing to the world, in the direction of dusk, and her eyes went wide with surprise, the star pricking back up, and in that instant, she seemed to glow a little bit brighter in the darkening atmosphere. She nodded eagerly, smiling, and this time she repeated those words back she'd heard him say not long ago, Thank you. A slight welling of relieved tears, the very liquid seeming endued by the seem sparkling release of stardust, as the tear slid down her cheeks like shooting stars, a visual representation of her relief.
She doesn't hesitate with the touch.
But she keeps it short, out of respect, even as she very briefly presses her muzzle, her cheek against his neck, her chest briefly pressed to his, in a not quite hug, but similar enough to represent the same emotion, without being as forceful. But just as quickly she had backed up again, allowing space between them once more. He may never know what his offer meant to the lonely star that had begun to wonder if she'd ever find acceptance outside of the small one-room home she shared with Jane; but he'd given her a chance, to her that was more beautiful than the most vibrant galaxy in the sky.
Regretfully she looked to the darkening sky.
Glancing back, her smile was apologetic, Night now. I go home. Jane home, now. Just in the short time with him, her sentences had already filled out so much more, and her tail swished with a tiny burst of excited energy, even as she tried to keep herself fairly calm, collected. She tilted her head, smiling none the less, But, will visit. She promised, preparing for a goodbye.
FROM THE MOUTH INSIDE THE MIND
@Benedict Notes:: Figured we could start wrapping this up. <3 My next post will be her official close, if that's okay with you :)
Breathin' in you give me air, I'm living on your solar flare
Could you be my super nova girl?
