“Give.” Slam. “Me.” Slam “An answer!” Slam, crack, and an echo that breaks the air that has returned nothing to the screaming woman. She doesn’t know how long she’s been slamming her hooves into the rock in front of her, demanding an answer from the statue next to the rock. Io has prayed to Atara - truly prayed for the first time in years - she’s prayed to Acrux, to Hemanta, to every Deity that she had ever followed so far. And now she was here in the mountains where the citizens of Novus worshipped their Gods. She had originally prayed to each statue, hoping that one of them would answer until, finally, she was here, beating the shit out of a rock until it’d cracked, and screaming.
Io’s panting as she stares at the rock she’s cracked, rage still boiling up inside of her. “All. I want. Is a fucking answer. I don’t care who it comes from.” Raising a hoof she slams it down again, the rock now too small for both hooves, with a loud snort, and the narrowing of her golden eyes. “What happened to me? How do I fix all of this?” Closing her eyes, she inhales deeply to calm the emotions in her, to soothe the ever-burning anger. “Why am I always so angry? When did I get like this, when did I stop feeling anything other than this? I don’t want to be full of rage and pain anymore so tell me, tell me how to fix this. How can I fix me?” Tears have started to well up in her eyes, threatening to fall until she lifts her head up to the sky, blinks them away, and sighs heavily. “Is this some kind of terrible curse? Does the world truly hate me this much?”
She’s so tired, tired of anger, tired of being tired, tired of always screaming and crying, she’s tired of it all. Luvena had been like gasoline poured on a dying fire, igniting it into sudden and violent flames. Io wasn’t angry at Luvena, no she could never be angry at her, but she was angry at herself. Angry that she’d always been refusing to face her problems, refusing to face herself until she was forced into it. Her sister had been the one to hold up the mirror. Even more so she was angry that she'd lost herself along the way by simply shutting herself up and away from the world; she'd put pieces of herself that had chipped off high up on a shelf where she could pretend they weren't there if she pushed them back against a wall.
When was the last time she'd thought about Vander, about Andante, Ezera, any of them? Was it Totem? Maybe it was when she'd seen Oberon? She couldn't remember. Hell she couldn't even remember her age anymore, not after all the times the Gods had decided to ''gift'' her immortality. At this point Io is pretty sure she's around 15, maybe even 16? The golden eyed woman doesn't think of it much, she doesn't want to focus on that. All she knows is that she can feel the weight of her age pulling down on her bones, on both her soul and heart that had slowly been infected; left to rot slowly as she ignored it. Io doesn't like having to acknowledge that something dark has bloomed up in her after so many years but oh god it's there, it's there thriving while she ignores it all. There's a thought that slowly seeps into her mind, nestles itself into the grooves of her brain to whisper poisonous sweet nothings to her. How lost am I? As the thought makes itself at home she slams her hoof into the rock one more time before turning away from it. "You're all like the rest: just pretty little lies we tell ourselves to feel better." Walking down the path her curled ears are tipped back, fighting away tears that threaten to spill over thick lashes. All she had wanted was an answer from a God, just once she wanted an answer. The only one she'd ever gotten was from Acrux and she's sure that she's disappointed even him.
Stopping in her steps Io takes a step closer to the edges of the path, peering over it with a passing thought of how far was the drop? Were there rocks down there? And if so how many, how sharp? How much damage had this path caused? In all those thoughts one sticks out: If I tumbled over where would I go? Into the skies with Acrux again or would I get dragged down by Gwathren or even Fuin? Where do I belong in death now? An even more poisonous thought sinks into her, causing her ears to flatten against her skull and her eyes to clench closed. And who would care besides Gaston? I have no one anymore except him. Io pushes those thoughts down, expels them from her brain to return to the path. Which path she's metaphorically on she doesn't know but she'll just focus on this one for right now. Focusing on this, letting herself rot up, everything she's doing is better than crying again. Better than thinking about the past, than mourning, than feeling the guilt pull at her. Yes, yes it's better to focus on the uncertain path in front of her isn't it? At least right now when others are awake, she'll try again tonight when the moon is out instead.
"Talk." IO'S NATIVE LANGUAGE, HOVER OVER ME Thoughts Chandrakant
he night was clear and the darkness consuming, the only light coming between the trees was from the moon in the heavens. The path before Liseli was barely visible but his feet hit the compacted dirt confidently, making the characteristic thumps of hooves hitting land. He wasn’t sure where he was now and that usually wasn’t an issue for the being, but there was something particularly dark about this night. The air was chilly and lonesome. Forests he’d been accustomed to were usually humming to the low tune of some creatures sleep or nightly activities, here there was nothing. No breeze, no sound just cold. Liseli wouldn’t admit it to himself but his sense of unease made him move a little quicker down the path and through the trees. His wings tucked closely to his well-formed body holding to on to the heat that he could, straining his eyes forward assessing his surrounding quickly but slightly cautious.
It was some time until the trees started thining out, relaxing more of the terrain before Liseli. It was of some relief to him, for once preferring the change of scenery. As the trees thinned Liseli couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of unease, something unusual for him. It was similar to the way his lost lover used to feel towards the end, anxious and lonesome. The quiet echoed louder than most words he’d ever heard, that was until a loud crackling noise started him in to a stop. His head raised and ears flicked forward, it sounded like metal loud and scraping. It wasn’t a peasant noise and other horses may have turned and run, but that was not in Liseli’s nature. Hesitantly he stepped forward further past the trees.
From the trees the path started to wind upwards up to the ridge of a cliff, the light of the stars now able to penetrate through the land. From here Liseli could see the reminants of a statue, an odd looking thing obviously placed there for a purpose. He was unfamiliar with these objects, though he’d seen a few over his travel in Novus. He knew the importance placed upon them in certain circles, which seemed all the stranger when he noticed the chunks of rock scattered about the base. Someone’s got a problem, He though to himself. He did feel bad for them, whoever they had been, Liseli had known pain but never to the point of expressing it in such a way. His mind simply didn’t compute sadness the way other’s seemed to. His suffering was internal and it always had been.
Liseli had dropped his crown to take in a few whiffs from the shattered mess around him, there was a scent. After miles of traveling around without any of the slightest indication of life, this new stimulus surprised him. The scent, it confused him. Recent and a bit sour. His face dropped in solidarity, a worried but vacant as he came to the realization that he recognized this scent. Not of the individual whomever they had been, but the scent of pain and hurt. It had been burned in his skull long, long ago. It was then his head jerked upward rapidly, making his mane dance backwards and become beautifully disheveled. He turned towards the path, he could hear hoofbeats. The once compacted dirt path was now stone and these types of paths were easier to hear.
Liseli squinted and stepped closer to the sound, reserved and ready for whatever it was. That scent in the air was still there, it had been the one smashing all of the stonework. From the darkness that seemed to clear he could see someone. Against the sky he could see that of a lightly toned body, the golden sheen of it accentuated by the starlight. It started Liseli as he watched the figure stop and look over the edge of the path. Was he to get involved? Once again his curiosity the best of him and he let out a fairly loud nicker towards the figure. This way it is chance, if they hear me great, if they don’t maybe it was meant to be that way too. Liseli was never one to pry for attention, but he’d grown a concern for this stranger.
She should have expected this: to have drawn attention to herself. After all if it was her she would have gone searching for the noise, and distressed being, too; but what she hadn't expected was someone so young. He was, essentially, a child to her who had found an ''old'' mare flipping her lid. Amusement passes over her for a moment, wondering if this was how she had looked at his age. A kind fresh face, looking ready to help someone else, fix their issues, and patch up a stranger. Was this what others had seen in Elysium? A simple kindness, curiosity, and concern. It's easy to hear the nicker as it bounces around the path in an echo, causing her to turn her head towards him with curled ears swiveling forward. Was it time for her to put on another face? Probably not given that he had just found her contemplating what would happen if she took a tumble down, and smashing rocks in front of statues.
"You don't have to look so concerned, I have no intentions of throwing myself down a cliff right now. Simply...wondering how far the drop is." It wasn't a lie but it wasn't exactly a whole truth; she did have no intentions to take tumble down right now, she had wondered how far the drop is, but she had also wondered how much damage that drop would do. There's a small humming in her throat as she thinks for a moment, should she offer her name first? Ask a question? What should she do exactly? "I didn't expect anyone to be around here at this time, I apologize if I disturbed you." Yes, apologize. That was her choice, a fall back for her screaming, her disrupting those around her. "I am Io Kairavi though you may call me Io or Kai if you prefer." The golden mare gives a dip of her head in greeting to the young antlered pegasus in front of her. Her body still faces the cliff, her head however is turned to him. At least until she steps away from it and fully faces him, if she does that maybe his concern will lessen. She doesn't like causing distress to others to begin with but she's already in pain and in all honesty if she was distressing someone so young it would only hurt her more. Io wasn't going to be the one responsible for damaging a young soul with her own poisonous tendencies and thoughts.
Her pierced ear twitches and her head tilts slightly to the side in thought as she looks him up and down, making note that he matches her height and she doesn't feel like a giant for once. She's run into those shorter than her more than she's run into those taller and so it is a nice surprise for her. "May I ask how old you are? You look rather young." There's a tone of concern in her voice, from her own experience she remembers getting turned around more than once in new places and at younger ages. If she had to guess he was at least 11 years younger than her if you counted by the years she'd been walking around, but perhaps he was 7 if you went by her physical age.
"Talk." IO'S NATIVE LANGUAGE, HOVER OVER ME Thoughts Chandrakant
Tags » @Liseli Voice »Liv Tyler as Arwen OOC » <3 I dunno if it'll help but for names with two the best way to tag is @'name name'
Roaming through this darkness I'm alive, but I'm alone
And part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone
he figure in the distance had defiantly heard his call, though he should have known perhaps it had been louder than he had originally intended. With the subtle acknowledgement of his presence, Liseli moved a bit closer to the figure as to close that distance between the two. It was a mare, shockingly of his same height. This initial though did bring a little smirk to Liseli’s face, but only because he should’ve known better. He’d always been a he and she so maybe in another history Liseli could’ve been mainly been a she and then it that case he too would be another tall mare. The mare was light toned, moon marking clearly visible against her golden coat, now more easily distinguishable now that she was in his line of lighter sight. Despite her outward appearance Liseli still made note of the face she’d been making, a gaze full of darker contemplation. Liseli’s copper ears pricked forward as the mare spoke, seeming to retort to a question he’d not even asked.
Liseli listened to her voice, trying to really listen to what she’d said about the cliff and gauging the distance. It wasn’t that he was inept, he just figured a moment of silence was necessary seeing as the mare approached him with an apology next. Apologies? For me? Guess that is considered the polite thing, he thought to himself as the mare introduced herself and dipped her head kindly. The way she did so made him think for a moment that she must have, perhaps in another life been a type of high born, socially trained well. He on the other hand didn’t pay much mind to it now other than the fact that he thought it was graceful. She still seemed a little rocked, but considering he knew it was her smashing the stones it seemed fair enough to him that she should get to feel that way. Especially if they’d continue to talk it might come up in conversation. Liseli dipped his head back in respect as the mare straightened to turn to him.
“You haven’t disturbed anyone, Io. Those statues seem important to others but rarely do they have souls in them when no one who knows of them is around.” Liseli spoke softly but to the point, his voice was often deeper than most had expected. Honestly, it was deeper now than he’d ever expected it to turn out considering his biology. He didn’t want to be rude to the mare either, who he felt was trying to soothe him for some reason, perhaps she was a mother to someone. He dropped the slight tension from his wings and relaxed his face before he spoke again ”I am Liseli.” Liseli cleared his throat before looking away from the mare for a moment and over the side of the cliff she had been looking at not too long ago.
As he stared off the edge, the mare spoke again, kind of her to keep talking though the stress still seemed on her face, it was hard to tell if he wasn’t directly looking at her. How old was he? How old was anyone, no one had ever asked him his age. In his childhood, age wasn’t discussed by his family like it was typically in other places as he’d come to learn. ”How old are any of us really, we all come, we all go… but if were going by numbers” he gave out a little laugh “this will be the fifth spring for myself.” Fourth, fifith really to the best of Liselis knowledge he’d now have five marks on his type of colander he’d kept in the satchel around his neck. Nothing more than a small illustration of every seasons major happening, the more pictures the more life.
Liseli then turned his head back towards the mare, he wondered for a moment how many pictures she would’ve had had everyone had a record like his, or what kind of pictures. Liseli smirked a bit and couldn’t bring himself to keep his voice to himself for once. “You know, it is none of my business, but no one says “throwing myself off of a cliff right now,” the key words being right now.” He chuckled a bit though not in a nervous way, humor was never really his strong suit and it was dark at best when he did try. “Lemmings do it and do so with glee, you…” he trailed off a little putting the words together as not upset the mare and chose to change his words.
“I know not if you’d want the company Io, but we could take a walk and see how far down it really is if you’d like.” It wasn’t so much that he was sure if she’d want to go with him or not, but he thought why should there be any type of wonder for someone so dead-set on implying the curiousness about the drop anyway. He dropped his head in an inviting type of way. The manner in which he lowered his head revealed his one nearly blind looking eye from under his fairly lengthy forelock before he took a single step towards the backside of the mare venturing towards the path towards the darkness.
It always seems to be like this in the beginning; she talks the most. When she was younger her first words were almost always in the tones of pure concern or a honey sweet introduction, everyone was her friend, everything was peaceful, and she existed in a world of nothing but flower fields. Now that she's older though Io has a tendency to open with statements, an introduction, and (of course) her ever present concern for others; she dances around in the same way except now it's just to a different tune.
A curled ear twitches in interest at his words, she would have expected someone in Novus to be upset about her yelling at Gods. Something between a scoff and a laugh escapes from her lips at the idea of the statues having souls. "It wouldn't matter if someone was around a deities statue, soul or not no God wants to answer anyone. You could beg for your life and they'd let you bleed out, it's just how they all are. None of them..." She pauses for a moment and the images of Atara, Acrux, and Hemanta come to her. "Rather the majority of them don't care from my experience." She knows how jaded she sounds, how atheistic she sounds, and it's right. At this point Io has given up on trying to follow another God, her homelands Goddess had rejected her, Hemanta had abandoned her, and only Acrux had seemed to be the one who cared for her. In Elysium when she began to die he had taken her into the sky's, made her a constellation, yet he had also granted her just enough strength to come back from the brink and to walk out of those lands where immortality had cursed her. Curled ears tip back in frustration and she shakes her head with a groan "Ignore me and the ramblings of an old jaded mare." At his name she gives a gentle smile, grateful for the shift away from her frustration with the almighty powers that be. "A pleasure to meet you Liseli." Io's tone has shifted into a kinder one, an aged and somewhat tired softness is hidden somewhere in it.
Golden eyes watch him carefully, waiting for some kind of answer to her curiosity about his age. Instead of a simple answer he gives her a philosophical statement that both surprises and amuses her. In the deep back of her mind though it puts a bit on edge, she's beginning to feel that this pegasus is a bit too perceptive. He may see too much and she's not exactly ready for a stranger to give her the same treatment she had gotten from Luvena. "So you are philosophical scholar it appears? And at such a young age too." Io's brow furrows as she thinks for a moment of her own age, somewhere along the way she'd forgotten how many years she's existed. Truly it hadn't been that long but after her last bout of immortality she just stopped counting. "If I recall correctly my body is twelve though I have been around for longer, too many run ins with immortality to keep track I suppose." She's still thinking about how old she really is when Liseli's mention of the cliff stops her breath for a second before a laugh that she can't stop forces itself from her chest. "Lemmings you say? Well...One day I'll be one. I'll tell you a secret Liseli, one that only a friend far away knows. I already know how I die and it's at the bottom of a cliff." Her tone, face, and eyes are far too serious for it to be a joke. She's known since she left Isilme, the moment she went through The Nethien Passage she'd seen it. In every land she'd gone if she had her clairvoyance she'd see it; granted she isn't even sure she has magic here but if she does she knows it's a matter of time. Everywhere she went that future followed her, at the bottom of a cliff with someone she loved standing above. Io doesn't know if they kill her or if she just jumps off of it. "Someone will kill me or I will do it, I don't know which yet but I know I'll find my way below a cliff one day. Maybe I'll be immortal when it happens and be 200 years old, maybe it'll be tomorrow, or maybe I'll change that fate; though I doubt I can change it given how long I've known about it. I suspect I'll begin to slip out of reality like my father and that will be the reason for my death." Io knows that she's simply talking now, he hasn't asked anything but she'd be the first to admit that she's needed to get that off her chest for a while. The gold mare can't help but chuckle at the thought of herself as a lemming. "A lemming...If that is my future than a lemming I shall be." She means it more for herself while she looks out over the cliff but it's loud enough that Liseli would also hear it, she doesn't look at him for some time.
She finally looks at him when he offers to take a walk with her to see the bottom and Io smiles with a nod. "This golden lemming would enjoy that, I am never one to turn down company. Should we go down the short way or the long way?" Maybe it's in bad taste to joke about her eventual demise but if Arcann isn't here to laugh with her she'll have to see if Liseli would laugh with her. "After you kind Liseli, I've rambled enough that at least you won't have to hear me if you're in the front."
"Talk." IO'S NATIVE LANGUAGE, HOVER OVER ME Thoughts Chandrakant
Liseli waited and watched the golden mare as she replied to his words of age. Was he a philosopher, no, he didn’t think so. It was just the way he was raised that made him believe in such a way. Everyone was a part of the process but he did not necessarily believe in any real gods. This was usually strange for someone within a court, but he just thought that was the way the world was. Coming and going, life and death, ect. Magick had been the only real thing that could break those cycles and that was part of his true curiosity about it. Though honestly he knew nothing could be created without the predecessor before it and that aspect was the key to him learning about magick at all. The copper equine stood still as she spoke until a bit of excitement crossed his face as she mentioned her immortality. That was a type of magick and he’d never known anyone with it before, this could be his first promising thing. However he figured it best to let the subject rest for a while, the mare still seemed a bit shook from her previous anger.
His own suspicion had been confirmed as the mare then quickly took to speaking about the lemmings he’d briefly mentioned before he cut off his own rambles. She compared herself to them and spoke of a secret. Liseli did not look upon the mare with concern, just a gentle eye. When she spoke of throwing herself off he thought of Niele. Suicide was something he was intimately familiar with, but for someone with unlimited life the question was why. I don’t know what could’ve happened to you Io but pain is not something new. Who can control it after sometime is really out of the hands of the one caught in it. He didn’t say anything aloud realizing he may have seemed insensitive, he just listened the way he used to when Niele would speak to him of her woes. Patient and understanding.
It wasn’t until she whispered something looking off the cliff, the his need to speak really arose. He subdued to urge until the mare looked back at him again accepting his invitation to walk down the cliff. "I’d prefer if you’d walk beside me, less you have to look at my rear the whole time. Perhaps we should take the long way seems to me you’ve got quiet a bit of time to kill" Liseli laughed a little, the tension in the air easing a bit as they seemed to make some jokes about a fairly serious confession moments ago. Liseli turned around the mares side and looked towards the path again, he started walking slowly waiting for her to join him as he ventured down the rocky face. As he stepped some of the pebbles loosened around his hooves by the movement didn’t bother him much he had at least the confidence of his wings and his strength.
As he walked his nature didn;t allow him to keep in his previous curiosities, "You know Io it is absolutely no business of mine, but for someone with unlimited life you seem awfully cursed about something. I don’t mean to be rude but I knew someone who had the tendencies of the lemming too…" he tailed off for a moment refocusing on the trail before him, letting out a soft sigh "She didn’t last but there much be some reason to keep it all up."
"Speech" | TAGS: @IoKairavi | NOTES: Sorry if he’s getting on her nerves
