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Fight: Judged  - lavender bones

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Played by Offline aimless [PM] Posts: 6 — Threads: 0
Signos: 1,580
Inactive Member
#9

IPOMOEA vs ASTERION


@Ipomoea - Total: 89/100

  • Attacks 50/55

    • 26/30 -- Based on creativity of your offense (originality, imagination, and attention to detail).
      • 2nd post: i think his use of magic is fairly creative and makes sense given the circumstances; when you are off-balance, you scramble to grab onto the nearest thing, and in this case the nearest stable thing was his magic. i also liked the attention to detail in how you incorporated the dry grasses you described in your first intro post into his attack
      • 3rd post: not a very original attack (as you mention, asterion just did this lol), but the description of the mental and physical effects of his dehydration was thorough and detailed

    • 24/25 -- Based on realism of your offense (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
      • 2nd post: i will say at first i thought the grasses were growing to support po’s legs, but a second, more thorough read made it clear this was an attack
      • 3rd post: despite not being a very creative attack, it was quite realistic given po’s inexperience with battles

  • Blocks 25/30

    • 11/15 -- Based on creativity of your defense (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
      • 2nd post: n/a
      • 3rd post: not especially creative, but was still well-described and easy to visualize

    • 14/15 -- Based on realism of your defense (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
      • 2nd post: n/a
      • 3rd post: falling into the bed of plants and rolling away from his opponent seem pretty par for the course and realistic to me

  • Writing Metrics 14/15

    • 5/5 -- Based on overall writing creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
      • 1st post: i enjoyed your description of the setting here; especially how po’s perception of it reflects how he’s changed
      • 2nd post: this was a well-written post, and the feeling of being watched in the beginning is intriguing
      • 3rd post: “His first thought is one of sadness - in an instant the life of the plants has been ended”, a great reminder of po’s character and “He shouldn’t be surprised; what else is the Bellum Steppe known for, if not for death?”, a great reminder of how he’s changing

    • 5/5 -- Based on overall realism (physical mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health, Attack, Magic Level, and Bonded)
      • 1st post: n/a
      • 2nd post: i think the exertion he feels and the small scale of the nature manipulation supports his magic level
      • 3rd post: i was worried po wouldn’t fall, but it’s here! a good detail for the realism of this thread

    • 4/5 -- Based on writing metrics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc)
      • 1st post: a few minute grammatical technicalities, but nothing that distracted from the content or flow of the post
      • 2nd post: just one thing i noticed—“but he surprises surprises himself with his repose”
      • 3rd post: didn’t notice anything here









@asterion - Total: 86/100

  • Attacks 46/55

    • 22/30 -- Based on creativity of your offense (originality, imagination, and attention to detail).
      • 1st post: I think you could have been more creative here, if only in using a more strategic mindset—asterion is looking at po’s feet right before he attacks, which could easily aid po in dodging this
      • 2nd post: i think this was a very creative attack and a great use of his magic
      • 3rd post: n/a

    • 24/25 -- Based on realism of your offense (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
      • 1st post: this seemed a pretty realistic attack to me, in both his intention and his expectation to still collide shoulder-to-chest if his initial strike missed
      • 2nd post: i was a bit confused at how he was simultaneously hydrating and dehydrating, but the distinction between flooding the soil and dehydrating the plants themselves became clear
      • 3rd post: n/a

  • Blocks 26/30

    • 12/15 -- Based on creativity of your defense (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
      • 2nd post: n/a
      • 3rd post: cirrus’ distraction seems to narrowly avoid an attack here, though i’m glad you chose to use all his available resources

    • 14/15 -- Based on realism of your defense (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
      • 2nd post: n/a
      • 3rd post: asterion’s exhaustion seems realistic in preventing him from being quick enough to come up with something himself i guess hahaha

  • Writing Metrics 14/15

    • 5/5 -- Based on overall writing creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
      • 1st post: the metaphors you use here are lovely, and i appreciate how they’re all tied together by a cohesive language of the sea
      • 2nd post: a well-written post, and i enjoyed the creativity you displayed here
      • 3rd post: “Asterion’s heart is caught in his throat to see his bonded plunge down and down and down. Or maybe it is there, with her, for it seems to him he can hear the roar of wind in his ears”—great imagery and evocation of anxiety

    • 5/5 -- Based on overall realism (physical mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health, Attack, Magic Level, and Bonded)
      • 1st post: this post seemed realistic to me in terms of his attack
      • 2nd post: his attack was quite complex in terms of magic, but it is  backed by his masterful magic level
      • 3rd post: realistic usage of his bonded

    • 4/5 -- Based on writing metrics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc)
      • 1st post: there were a few sentences that didn’t read smoothly, especially “whether or not his blow lands, he anticipates a collision of skin to skin, with his chest or shoulder a ram to shove Po off his center of gravity”
      • 2nd post: i didn’t notice anything
      • 3rd post: again, didn’t notice anything distracting













Messages In This Thread
lavender bones - by Ipomoea - 07-11-2019, 12:08 AM
RE: lavender bones - by Asterion - 07-19-2019, 09:07 PM
RE: lavender bones - by Ipomoea - 07-23-2019, 10:30 PM
RE: lavender bones - by Asterion - 07-27-2019, 08:49 AM
RE: lavender bones - by Ipomoea - 07-29-2019, 05:03 PM
RE: lavender bones - by Asterion - 08-02-2019, 08:50 AM
RE: lavender bones - by Ipomoea - 08-04-2019, 12:56 PM
RE: lavender bones - by Asterion - 08-07-2019, 12:24 PM
RE: lavender bones - by aimless - 09-08-2019, 03:55 PM
RE: lavender bones - by aimless - 09-08-2019, 04:01 PM
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