Look forward toward the future...
There you shall find peace.
"Not my mate. Best friend." Pol flicked an ear and watched the stallion close down the emotions that were roiling on his face. Even his eyes, filled with molten energy, seemed to harden. "Uh huh... If you say so..." Pol drawled as she watched the interplay between the two. There was more than just friendship in his motions, the protective stance with his wings sheltering her, the wariness regarding the world around them and what may come to attack her.
"Don't go. Please. Don't go." The touch of Bel's cool skin was like a bolt of lightning through her heart. The familiar scent of the sister that she had loved more than anything. Pol felt like her entire body was going to shake apart from the force of her trembling. The young mare's jaws locked tight against the torrent of words that were fighting their way to the surface, tears streaming down her cheeks. Polar North had refused to cry since the initial shock of being abandoned, after the nomads had frowned upon her tears and pain. Fighting so hard to try to control the emotions, she closed her eyes and took deep breaths, not noticing that she was leaning more and more into the embrace.
"Bella..." She whispered, her jaws finally unlocking as she inhaled the scent that had been her entire world as a pup. "I was so scared. I was alone on that ice, praying that you would come back. The scent of the blood called sharks to where I was... I could see them circling under me through thin spots in the ice. A few times, they even tried to break the ice from beneath me. I knew I was going to die... I was so afraid to close my eyes, afraid to relax the tension in my body. The sounds of hooves on the ice made me jump to my own and I was confronted with the larger body of a stallion. The nomads took me, healed me. Their medic cared to an extent. But I wanted to go home." The words were escaping in a torrent, like fueled by a massive current.
"And I did... I went home... I got close, but Ice Shard stopped me." The remembered confrontation ran through her head as she paused for breath. "You should be dead... Your precious sister is gone and your father believes you dead. Go away and stay away." "Ice Shard said you were gone... I thought that meant that you... and father didnt want to see me. I was alone in the world, no one in the world to turn to. So I started to walk. After trying to go home, I refused to go back into the deeps. I am so terrified of sharks. I cannot even handle the idea of one. I have been keeping to the land as much as possible since. I did save another aquatic being. A stallion. He and I traveled together for a time, before he went back to his shiver. I have spent so much time alone, thinking of the past... I am so sorry, Bella. So very sorry. You were forced to make a terrible decision. I dont blame you. After I thought about it enough, I stopped feeling so angry toward you. I cant blame you for what happened. I missed you so badly that my heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds." The words finally stopped coming and she closed her eyes against the words that she was terrified of hearing. She didnt want to hear that Bel had not cared about what she had went through. That she was not whole, therefore would not matter in terms of their species. That Bel would never want to see her again... So many sleepless nights thinking of her sister had led to a deep rooted terror of being rejected if they ever did cross paths again, in this life or the next.
@Below Zero
Notes: -clutches breaking heart-
