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Fight: Judged  - for all the monsters

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Layla
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#9

IPOMOEA vs ELENA


@IPOMOEA - Total: 100/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity: 30/30, Realism: 25/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity: 15/15, Realism:  15/15
WRITING: Creativity: 5/5, Realism: 5/5, Mechanics: 5/5
BEGINNING STATS: Exp 111, Health 60, Attack 60

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

  • FIRST POST (intro)
    • I admire the writing in this and just the way Po is. It reminds me of Thana and how she's shaped Po since they've been together. I also love how he's carrying around flowers- it's like a reminder that he's still himself even beneath his inner turmoil. Also a unique gesture for someone who's about to spar lol.

  • SECOND POST
    • Defensive:  Despite Elena slipping, he takes a bit of a hit which I think is important so Po doesn't seem too OP. So this definitely adds to the realism of the fight.
    • Offensive:  Aiming with his knees is a different move to take, but also realistic since Elena has slipped, it'll be the best way for him to reach her to attack fairly.
    • Mechanics: No real comments, writing is clear and well done.
    • Notes:  A unique way of describing the adrenaline rush of the start of battle.

  • THIRD POST
    • Defensive:  He's able to pull himself up to avoid Elena's attack. Since he was just on his knees, this seems easier for him to do and would've been a natural reaction anyway as Elena stood up as well. He too is having fun with it and adding to the humor by running away.
    • Offensive: There is realism that he wouldn't be able to find much to use his magic with beneath the snow and ice. The little that does come up isn't too extreme that it doesn't make sense. Also this is just a unique move to use his magic to catch Elena. Definitely not something she would be expecting and I love the playful "caught ya" at the end.
    • Mechanics: Still not much to comment here, a fun read!
    • Notes: It's interesting to read how Po is seeing himself in Elena during the battle, remembering how him and Asterion sparred some time ago. I love that he too is finding the fun in it though, despite him kind of fighting with his emotions at the same time.

  • FOURTH POST (closer)
    • I feel this was a good ending. They really balance each other out and I thought it was sweet how Po was reminded of how to just have fun.







@ElenaTotal: 98/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity: 29/30, Realism:  25/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity:  15/15, Realism:  15/15
WRITING: Creativity:  5/5, Realism:  5/5, Mechanics:  4/5
BEGINNING STATS: Exp 52, Health 34, Attack 26

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

  • FIRST POST
    • Defensive:  Realism is shown with acknowledging the footing- it is winter, so there's going to be snow and ice and that can cause some problems. For Elena it does when she slips, but this kind of adds a touch of humor to the battle. I haven't read many battles, but I feel like it's a unique move to have her try to attack but also manage to fail a little at the same time rather than wait for Po's post to completely determine how successful she is. Also no one is perfect, so definitely adds to the realism of the fight.
    • Offensive: It could just be me but I'm a little confused on the exact movement happening for her first attack, or at least the way that it's written. I did have to check the summary to get a better understanding of the actual physical attack attempt.
    • Mechanics: Despite the confusion in the attack, I always admire Sam's writing too. It's interesting how memories are used in relevance to whatever Elena is doing in the present. In this case, it's remembering a lesson she had. Adds an interesting layer to the writing.
    • Notes: Not much to add here, but poor Elena lol

  • SECOND POST
    • Defensive:  There was a lot of focus on this, both with Elena's magic picking up Po's emotions and also her reaction to the hit. I think it's a natural response for someone who is already sensitive to others. She's able to react quickly before the bite hits her, although I'm not too sure how she uses the ice to pull herself back up when it's already been established about the uneasy footing.
    • Offensive: She mimics Po's move which is kind of humorous, as Sam writes "Elena see, Elena do". Although since it does mimic the previous move, it's not entirely unique.
    • Mechanics: The very last sentence is very run-on, but I like how she's still taking this as a fun game despite the pain she felt initially from the hit.
    • Notes: I like that the lessons continue to be sprinkled in there, like a thought process as Elena figures out her way through this spar.

  • THIRD POST
    • Defensive: I find it interesting that Elena is reflecting on how she is more of a healer than a fighter. Not only does it show in her moves, but her attitude and it's different that she's almost grateful she hadn't been successful. She did this more for the fun of it than to really fight, so it's fitting to her character.
    • Offensive: N/A
    • Mechanics: Nothing really to comment here, I thought the writing was lovely!
    • Notes: Her dialogue here is cute. I could totally see them making flower friendship bracelets together!

  • FOURTH POST (closer)
    • Okay but this first paragraph is beautiful. Overall the post is short and sweet, a good ending and representation of their friendship.






Closing Remarks:  Even though there were some parts that were a bit confusing as far as movements go, I enjoyed reading this battle. It was quirky and adorable which to me doesn't seem to be typical of battles. There is a little darkness there with Po's inner conflict, but Elena in typical Elena fashion brightens it up and it's just an innocent spar between friends. A delight to read overall!











Messages In This Thread
for all the monsters - by Ipomoea - 08-27-2020, 12:07 AM
RE: for all the monsters - by Elena - 09-03-2020, 10:51 PM
RE: for all the monsters - by Ipomoea - 09-08-2020, 09:59 PM
RE: for all the monsters - by Elena - 09-12-2020, 06:57 PM
RE: for all the monsters - by Ipomoea - 09-20-2020, 11:36 PM
RE: for all the monsters - by Elena - 09-26-2020, 04:02 PM
RE: for all the monsters - by Ipomoea - 09-26-2020, 08:36 PM
RE: for all the monsters - by Elena - 09-28-2020, 12:11 AM
RE: for all the monsters - by Layla - 09-30-2020, 07:12 PM
RE: for all the monsters - by Layla - 09-30-2020, 07:14 PM
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