Character #1: @Asterion Bonded: Yes; Pallas's gull Magic: Yes; water manipulation (periti level) Armor: NA Weapons: NA Current Health: 32 Current Attack: 28 Current Experience: 69
Character #2: @Katniss Bonded: Yes- harpy eagle Magic: NA Armor: Yes - lightweight plated armor Weapons: NA Current Health: 10 Current Attack: 10 Current Experience: 10
Asterion
in sunshine and in shadow*
The afternoon following the Midsummer festival was hot and sticky, thick with sun and humidity. Clouds were gathering on the horizon to the west, a dark, bruised blue, promising rain and more than that. If Asterion watched long enough he could see the occasional streak of white right at the seam where earth meant sky, though it was too far to hear thunder.
Still he dutifully makes the trek to the training grounds, the eagerness for the spar ahead not unlike the distant storm - a flicker beneath his skin, a mingling of uneasiness and excitement. He had woken late, sleeping beneath a willow tree not far from the walls of Denocte, the wine of the night before making his head feel thick and slow. Not a good start for a battle, but a poor excuse to put it off.
Cirrus meets him on the outskirts of the area, her gaze keen and just a little judgmental. The king flicked his tail at her, ignoring her displeasure - he knows nothing of the night before, only the part of the evening that had belonged to himself, and for him the festival had been a good one. A welcome change, a chance to laugh and hope.
Those feelings of goodwill still buoy him, and when he sees Katniss approach he greets her with a nod and a quirk of his lips that is just shy of a full-fledged smile. Cirrus waits, perched on a flat-surfaced rock, watchful. A light breeze stirs, making the leaves rustle, doing nothing for the slick of sweat already on his hide.
“Ready?” he asks, and squares his shoulders, answering the question for himself.
Summary: It's hot and humid and there's a storm on the horizon; Asterion shows up, slightly hungover, and greets Katniss. Intro post.
The solstice festival had been eye-opening, for sure. She had met with Asterion and he had agreed to spar her so she could hopefully prove her worth to Isra. She wanted to show Denocte that she could protect them. In order to do that, she need to gain experience in more ways than one. So this spar was just the thing to get her started in the right direction.
Because of this, just as soon as the sun peaked up over the horizon, Katniss was awake and ready to start her day. Finnick, unsure of exactly why Katniss was up at this hour, simply watched her fumble around the stone room from the comfort of his perch. The bird was healing, though not at all up to full capacity. His injuries would take time to heal but thankfully, he was well enough to fly short distances.
By the time Katniss arrives on the battlefield, she is dressed to the nines in her battle armor - probably the only thing that could protect her against Asterion’s experience and magic. The armor is lightweight, but strong. It’s new and shiny and Katniss knows that soon, this armor will be dented and tarnished with dirt and blood. But that does not deter her. Eyes look forward from beneath the protection of the headpiece, the “helmet” of sorts protecting the crown of her head and the bridge of her nose. Along her neck are two sides of plated armor, one along her mane, the other protecting her throat. And finally, plated armor along her back and over her rump. Despite her weak areas being her legs, ribs and underbelly, Katniss feels prepared. This is what she has trained for, the moment she has been waiting for.
Thunder rumbles in the distance and Katniss looks up at the darkened sky. No doubt that would pose a challenge should the ground grow slick with rainwater. Finnick rides atop his bonded’s back, anchored to her armor. As Katniss comes to stand before Asterion, she nods her head in his direction in greeting. “Ready. Do not go easy on me.” Although her skin is hot beneath the armor, sweat pooling in areas, she is ready. She was born ready. Finnick takes off first, his wings taking him and planting him in a branch of a barren tree. He will know when he is needed. For now, he waits patiently, eyes trained on Asterion.
It is moments like these where Katniss wishes she had her magic - her increased speed, strength, and ability to breathe beneath the water. But here, she has none of those safety nets. Here, she stands on unequal ground against Asterion’s magic. But she trusts him. Eyes look to the hot sun for a moment, her thoughts gathering and her courage building.
And then, she takes off at a gallop, a charge towards Asterion.
But as she comes nearer to him, she begins to circle him, her pace slowing just enough so she can keep a tight circle around him. She hopes to keep his eyes moving, to keep him so focused on trying to track her that he loses focus. After a moment, she abruptly halts, forcing her body into a quick position change. Rump faces his right side and she kicks back with powerful legs. She harnesses all her momentum into this kick, hoping to land square in his rib cage. Many times she has heard the sound of ribs cracking. She knows that a broken rib can severely effect the ability to fight at ones best - and so that is what Katniss hopes to accomplish.
Following her kick, contact with flesh or not, Katniss keeps close to Asterion. For two bodies so close in contact, only so much force can be exerted on her. The less force he can exert on her, the better.
Summary: Katniss arrives, ponders, says hello to Asterion. Charges. Rapid circling of Asterion. Kicks back towards Asterion’s ribs after a sudden halt and turn of her body, using the momentum to aid in force. Stays close so any quick attack following her own cannot contain much force (less distance, less force)
Asterion watches with dark-eyed interest as Katniss approaches across the battleground, the thick summer sunlight glistening off her armor. It is his first encounter with such a defense; perhaps he should feel more nervous, as she nears with an eagle on her back, its gaze on him almost reproachful. But the bigger mare is a friend, and this is only a spar, and he is ready to shake the morning’s sluggishness from his bones.
Be wary, thinks Cirrus, her eyes not leaving Katniss. This is not Florentine. It is almost enough for Asterion to respond to the dark mare’s words - that such a thing would be impossible, given her size, her strength, her armor - but instead he only dips his chin and flicks an ear toward the eagle as it launches from her back. Cirrus’s gaze follows it, too, though she says nothing further.
There is a moment, then, when Katniss looks up, and the sun beats down, and anticipation almost urges Asterion into making the first move. Instead he stands, muscles taut even as he forces his breathing steady, and reaches down to touch the magic pooled deep within him like dropping a pebble into a well. It seems to ripple out in answer, calm waves of power, and the bay only has enough time to think good before Katniss is charging.
He shifts where he stands, shivering with a Thoroughbred’s pre-race nervousness, tempted to distance himself. He can feel the rumble of each hoof-beat as it lands, a reminder of her power and weight, but Asterion forces himself to wait. But as she begins her circling he does not remain stationary; as she draws her wider rings he pivots, too, watching her from his peripheral vision and keeping his hindquarters toward her. Her size makes her slower than him, impossible to miss; he hardly needs the gleam of sunlight off her armor to track her.
When she abruptly halts, spraying dirt, he thinks at last- there is only enough time for the thought before she has wheeled and is kicking back with all the strength of her draft heritage. But Asterion’s turning has not been for nothing; his hindquarters are a smaller target than waiting broadside, and as she was pivoting he was opening up the distance between them. He only manages between as step and two by the time she kicks, but what could have been a rib-cracking blow instead catches him with one hoof on the right buttock, an area thick with muscle.
Still, the blow is powerful; the bay squeals in pain, both a broad ache and a sharp sting from a cut an edge of her hoof has opened up along the back of his thigh. He surges forward, more to test the muscle than to put distance between them, and finds he already wants to favor the leg.
It puts him in no position to play chase. Fortunately, she is keeping close to him, her gleaming armor a reminder of how few weak spots she has. The bright buzz of pain puts him out of the mood for strategizing; when she is near enough he simply plants his forefeet and kicks out with his back hooves, low and quick, aiming for her unprotected forelegs. He knows anything higher would only make him more unstable, and give her opportunity to shove him off balance.
Then, while she is hopefully preoccupied with the results of his kick, Asterion seeks to put a few lengths between them. A bruise is already blooming beneath the skin of his haunch, and the bay grits his teeth and turns to face her as the first rumble of thunder groans across the summer sky.
Summary: As Katniss circles Asterion, he is turning, too, keeping his hindquarters aimed toward her. Her kick lands on his right buttock, opening a cut and bruising the muscle. As she keeps close to him he kicks out, low, hoping to catch her somewhere on the forelegs. Then he seeks to open the distance between them and turns to face her. Meanwhile the storm grows nearer.
She can almost taste victory as she sends her feet flying, hoping to hear the way they crack the bones beneath them. But instead, all she hears is the sharp squeals of his pain. She feels the contact her feet make with his body, but it is not the bones she was attempting to hit. Instead, she feels the softness of flesh and muscle which proceeded the smell of fresh blood. While it isn’t exactly the attack that she had tried to implement, it did hit its relative target, so in that sense, it was a win.
As he manages to move a few steps forward, she continues to keep close to not allow him to gain any sort of force. She knows that her armor offers very few weak spots and she knows that the likelihood of an attack to her legs is overwhelming. Knowing that a break to a leg could be fatal, she keeps close to him.
And then it comes, just as she was anticipating. She sees the wat his body plants forward and there is little time to change direction. Instead, she surges forward to lessen the distance between her body and his hooves. Less distance, less force to be exerted upon her body.
She can feel the strike of his hooves against her right, front fetlock, feeling the tendon stretch and pull. She is thankful that she does not feel a snap, for that could have been her undoing. But when he pulls away from her, she is left standing there to survey the damage. The tendon is merely strained and would offer several weeks of discomfort. Knowing that her leg is out of commission and any use of it would cause further damage, Katniss seeks out Finnick. “Finnick, I know you are healing yourself, but my leg is injured and need to remain immobile if I intend to fight again.” Her words are spoken directly into the eagle’s head. Finnick, in all his regal glory, simply ruffles his feathers in pre-flight readiness.
She looks at Asterion’s fleeting figure as she waits. She knows his own bonded is watching her closely. However, she’s anticipating that the bonded will be more focused on her, and not of Finnick who is slowly getting himself into position. She looks on at the growing storm, the thunder beginning to rumble in the distance, lightning flashing. As the clouds roll in, the wind picks up.
In Finnick’s talons, he grabs some dirt - nothing fancy in this dirt. And then, he takes flight. He is careful to fly as silently as he can to take Asterion by surprise, but there is a danger with his feathers still growing back from his attack with another bird. He is not as silent as he hopes, the wind whistling softly as the air catching on the feathers that are slowly growing back. And as he flies with the wind (because he does not want to tire himself too easily by flying against the wind), he is flying towards Asterion. No doubt the stallion would be able to see him coming. And yet, he knows he must distract the stallion in the only way he knows how. He releases the dirt held tight within his talons. The wind takes the dirt and carries it towards the unknowing stallion. Hopefully, the dirt would fall at least a little bit into his eyes and distract him just enough.
With the dirt at the mercy of the wind (which could change and bring the dirt to the ground in any direction - that was up to the wind to decide), Finnick begins to make his descent, his talons open and ready. He swoops towards Asterion’s head, his strong talons seeking the flesh of the stallion’s eyes or ears, whatever he could grab onto. With his own wounds still healing, there was only so much speed and force to exert on Asterion. Reaching the stallion or not, the bird eases out of his dive and comes to rest on the ground near Katniss. The mare, ever proud of her new friend, gives him a knowing smile. And then her eyes are on Asterion. What would the stallion do next?
Summary: Katniss is upset she didn’t hit ribs, but happy that she did some damage to his muscle. His hooves hit a tendon in the fetlock, pulling and straining it, but not tearing it. It will take weeks to fully heal. Katniss tells her bonded to attack Asterion, knowing that her bonded is still recovering from his own fight. Katniss keeps an eye on the storm rolling in. Finnick flies with the wind, releasing dirt into the air and hoping it serves as a distraction by hitting Asterion in the eye (but the wind could guide the dirt anywhere). When he’s close enough, he dives with talons open, hoping to grab an eye or ear. He then returns to Katniss’ side.
He ought to be more glad, to feel the impact of his hooves on their target, but already the joy of the fight is leaving him.
Maybe it is well, that it is so - for what bloodshed should ever be a game? - yet his grin is fled as he faces her, watching the way she favors her leg. Asterion stands taut, waiting for her to make a move, the fresh wind tugging his mane and tail and carrying the scent of rain. There are no shadows, now, no sun to gleam upon her armor; the clouds have swallowed up the sky.
The bay stamps his injured hind leg, to keep blood flowing around the bruised muscle, the stinging cut. Katniss’s gaze is holding his, but still she makes no move; he shifts, uneasy, as thunder rumbles above them.
It is then that a flash of storm-gray catches his eye. Asterion averts his attention to the eagle, though he keeps an ear and his peripheral vision on Katniss; in the background, over the sound of the wind, Cirrus calls out the mournful warning of a gull. The king senses rather than sees her sweep wide her wings and catch the air; still tracking the eagle with his gaze he sends her a sharp reprimand. No, he thinks, as she arcs pale through the air and the first of the raindrops wet the dust and raise the scent of petrichor. He’s an eagle, don’t be a fool-
And then there is no more time; the harpy eagle is stooping, and Cirrus is wailing, and Asterion is rising on his hindquarters, ears laid back, to meet the creature with his hooves.
The dirt goes unnoticed, snatched away by the wind - but his injured haunch gives, only a little, just enough to throw off his concentration as the eagle makes it’s strike. Still he lashes with his hooves as he falters in an attempt to defend himself, still he snaps with his teeth, but one of the raptor’s feet snags his left ear in mighty talons and tears.
It could have been worse. It could have been his eye, torn from its socket like a dead and scavenged deer - but oh, the blood! The almost blinding pain! He is too shocked to cry out as he comes back to earth, and Cirrus’s frantic calling is only background noise as he shakes his head like a dog, flinging blood and rain. His ear still turns, but it feels all wrong (what of it he can feel, beneath the singing pain). If he could see it beneath the blood that streams and mats his forelock and streaks his star and his cheek he would see it tattered like an old flag.
He is not eager now, as the rain begins to fall in earnest and turns the ground to mud. His breathing is ragged as he stares at the big mare, his heartbeat is thundering (a war-drum come too late) and his ear burns and burns and burns.
But more than pain there is an anger rising in him - at himself for his foolishness, at Katniss for putting their companions (and a king’s eyes) at risk in what ought have been a friendly spar - and with it, like a breaking wave, comes his magic.
It feeds on his anger, it feeds on his pain, it feeds on the storm now overhead. Between the two of them raindrops condense into a shape that at first is nothing more than living water, but then becomes an elk, wide-antlered and storm-eyed, an elk that charges Katniss with the fury of a rushing river.
Asterion only watches as the elk (his own mad magic) rushes toward her, intent on colliding fully with her front with all the power of a flash flood, on forcing water down her throat and her nostrils and into her eyes. Like a wave it will break if it hits, but only at the last does the bay king pull himself back from the yawning edge of his magic and will it not to drown her.
Summary: Drama! As the eagle flies toward him Asterion tells Cirrus not to intervene, worried for her safety. The wind snatches away the dirt in its talons, but when Asterion rears to meet its attack he falters due to his injured leg and the eagle shreds his left ear.
In anger and pain and with the help of the storm now upon them, Asterion summons his magic and sends an elk formed of water to charge down Katniss, essentially seeking to waterboard her (lol) or shove her over through force.
She watches as Finnick makes his move, admiring the smartness of the eagle as he uses dirt as a form of distraction. She watches as he dives for Asterion’s eyes, his talons open and welcoming. However, despite their intentions, the talons do not do the damage that was intended. Instead, they rip holes in the king’s ears, the bleeding clearly visible from her position. Even despite the smell of the oncoming storm, she can still smell his blood. Finnick seems proud of himself and returns to his perch on a nearby rock just beside Katniss.
She can see the emotions that flicker over his face. He is hurting, but he is angry. Perhaps he thought that she would go easy on him because he was king, because he was a friend, or because this was supposed to be a friendly spar. But little does he know, Katniss does not go easy on anyone. They could be a king or a commoner, but everyone is treated the same. But luckily for Asterion, Katniss’ lover is a healer. Katniss would not inflict such damage to a friend unless she had plans to help heal him as well.
She watches as he summons the rain, pooling it into the shape of a large male elk. Katniss cocks her brow at the form his magic takes, a little upset that she had never bothered to ask him what his magic was. But now was not the time to dwell on such things. She had to focus and watch, to try and predict just what his magic might do.
She watches as the elk rushes towards her. She is in no shape to fight back, to figure out some sort of counter-attack. Her leg in injured far too badly for her to be making any sort of quick movements. She can still feel the ache of the strained tendons so she can only watch and predict. She times his speed, watching for just how fast he’s coming towards her. She counts his paces, calculating the distance in her head.
And just when he is about to hit her head on, she takes a big, deep breath, closing her lips, her eyes, and pinning her ears. She plants her feet firmly, hoping that she can remain upright. She feels the force of the full-blown attack and it knocks out the air that she had been holding when the elk crashes against her body. She feels her legs falter, as if they are about to give in and yet, she stays upright. She can feel some of the water fall down her nose and into her lungs, causing her to enter a coughing fit to clear her lungs of the fluid. As soon as the water washes away, she loosens her posture and relaxes.
And once the water has been forced from her lungs, she slowly begins to step towards Asterion. Her pace is slow, her injured leg causing her much pain. She looks to both the companions, giving them each a soft smile. And finally, as she comes to stand in front of Asterion, she can still sense that he is angry. “Come, Asterion, did you really think I would injure you and not have a plan to help you heal?” Her features are soft and despite the raspy tone in her voice from the injured lungs. She motions towards the way she entered. “Come, Metaphor will patch us up.” And then, she begins to slowly walk towards the entrance of the battle arena. Her armor feels far too heavy and she cannot wait to take it off.
Summary: Katniss watches Finnick’s attack, and then sees that Asterion is a little pissed at what happened. She would do the same over again, showing no favoritism. She watches the elk, calculating his speed and distance to her position. She can’t fight back because of her injury, but she plants her feet and closes her eyes, lips, and flattens her ears. When the elk hits, it almost knocks her down, but she remains upright. Water goes into her nose and down into her lungs, causing her to cough uncontrollably until the water is forced from her lungs. Then, she stumbles towards Asterion and offers for Metaphor to patch him up.
As Asterion watches the elk form of swirling rain-water and his own will, he is caught between horror and awe at the thing he has wrought.
Horror to know he could make is stronger, if he wished - could force it fiercer, could draw on the power of his storm above and the storm within. Is there not a part of him, now, that is as curious as Pandora to open the full extent of his abilities? It is a strange kind of release to use the magic that has built up beneath his skin like a swollen river against a weary dam.
And awe as it obeys his thoughts, for it has none of its own. Brighter than the pain is satisfaction as he watches the water-golem collide with her, and though it fades away the wanting and anger within him does not.
Asterion does not move as his opponent makes her way toward him, only flicks an ear wet and heavy with blood and rain and focuses on steadying his breathing. Cirrus has returned to him, stands perched between his shoulders; for once there is nothing comforting about the weight. When Katniss speaks the bay wants to laugh, but he buries the urge in water and will and only looks at her as lightning forks overhead.
“And what would he have done if it had been an eye I’d lost?” he says, and thinks or Cirrus, or a trio of broken ribs-
“I will see to my own healers,” he says, and still makes no moves until she turns to go. He only softens when her gaze is no longer on him, and he calls after her only once as she limps away. “Isra ought to be pleased with your fierceness.”
For a long while after she is gone he only stands in the summer storm, letting the rain wash him clean.
Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)
FIRST POST (intro)
Hungover Asterion, what a change of pace. This post gets me excited for what’s to come, especially with the Dusk King being portrayed in a lighter mood than usual. c:
SECOND POST
Defensive: Did not use a true block, but I like his reaction to her attack. Also the way you described his pain from her kick is realistic to me, as she is bigger than him and from a draft heritage, it makes sense that what she landed would still sting.
Offensive: (don’t hate me) I thought this was a kind of bland attack; like it almost mimicked Katniss but on a smaller scale. Also it didn’t make sense for me that he would strike at her forelegs; that’s such a vulnerable area and a solid kick could be devastating, but this is supposed to be a friendly fight.
Mechanics: “Her eyes not leaving Katniss,” reads strangely to me, I think something more like “without taking her eyes off of Katniss,” would flow better without breaking up the tone. “He only manages between as step and two,” not sure what exactly you meant by this sentence!
Notes: I like Asterion’s and Cirrus’ one-sided dialogue in the beginning; it’s short but I can really feel their relationship come through. Additionally I thought the way you portrayed Asterion’s restraint worked really well in this post, and that you continued to build the scene by adding in a rumble of thunder at the end.
THIRD POST
Defensive: No true block used. I like the way you incorporate Cirrus instead of just forgetting her; and also Asterion’s concern and command for her to stay back was a nice read that flowed together really well. Overall his reaction to this attack was well-played I think, and written so well that I can not only see but feel it playing out in my mind!
Offensive: Incorporating his magic into his attack was a lovely addition (and I love how he’s becoming angry, since this fight doesn’t seem quite-so-friendly as it was intended to be.) But the way you used his magic was really interesting and unique - probably one of my favorite magic attacks yet to be honest! Bravo!
Mechanics: A few long sentences; they add a nice rushed feel to the overall post, but there’s so many that they become distracting by the end.
Notes: You continue to set the tone of the scene, and I appreciate that; it gives a bit more body to the post and overall fight in my opinion!
FOURTH POST (closer)
It wasn’t until now that I remembered the hangover you described in his entrance post, and I’m a little sad that it didn’t seem to be carried through so much in his replies. There were a couple of typos in this thread, but overall it was a really lovely addition to the scene, and tied things up nicely.
Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)
FIRST POST
Defensive: N/A.
Offensive: I like this attack! I think it started out slightly awkward, since it seemed like she was going to charge but instead just circled him - but I really like how you described her using her body and her reasoning for where she kicks. I also appreciated that it wasn’t just a “she ran up and kicked at him,” but it came across like she was biding her time and took an opportunistic approach.
Mechanics: “She need to gain experience…” reads awkwardly, “needed” would be better suited. This post switches between past and present tense throughout, but it doesn’t bother me very much in how it reads. “can effect” I believe should be “can affect” as it’s being used as a verb.
Notes: I noticed that at the beginning, Finnick doesn’t seem to know what’s going on; but by the end he seems aware and is described as knowing when we will be needed. Not a big deal, I just thought it was a bit of an inconsistency in his personality. c: Otherwise I really like how you played with the scene Griffin had set, particularly the humidity and how that plus her own armor was already making her sweat!
SECOND POST
Defensive: No true block used. I thought it was interested to see her surge into him and his kick. I would have expected her to shy away, but she’s thinking things through very strategically.
Offensive: I think the pause between her calling Finnick and Finnick’s attack is too long (and her dialogue to Finnick was quite long and composed; not what I would expect in the heat of battle, particularly when she’s just been injured.) That being said, I love the way you used your Bonded in this attack. I’m not sure how much dirt a bird could realistically grab and hold onto, but using this as a distraction was a really fun addition! I don’t often get to see Bondeds used in battle, and I really appreciate that Finnick comes to Katniss’ aid after she’s been injured.
Mechanics: A few stray typos here and there that break up the flow of the post. “she feels the softness of flesh… which proceeded the smell of fresh blood,” I think you mean “preceded”? And “she sees the wat [way] his body plants.” “My leg is injured and need[s] to remain immobile.”
Notes: I thought it was funny how she could “almost taste victory” in the very first sentence; the battle isn’t even half over! Even just this one sentence gave me insight into her character, and her determination/confidence to win, and I think it set a good mood for the rest of the post! I do think the ending of the post is a bit odd; it reads like it’s a stop-and-go-battle, one second they’re fighting and the next they’re waiting around without much urgency.
THIRD POST
Defensive: No true block used. I thought this was a very interesting reaction; she didn’t know the details of his magic, she doesn’t know what it can do or what he plans for it to do; she just braces herself and takes it head on like a wave. It’s really dramatic and I love that about it. Additionally I think her reaction to it is very realistic; he’s much more powerful than her, so the fact that you wrote it as her struggling to stay upright against the force of the wave was a nice read, and I find myself hanging onto every word hoping she keeps her balance.
Offensive: No attacks left; no offensive strategies used.
Mechanics: I can’t quite place why the thread feels choppy, but it doesn’t seem to flow quite right. That said it stays in present tense, so I like that you stayed in the same tense consistently as compared to your previous posts.
Notes: I feel like Katniss has become more and more of a bystander in this thread; you repeat “she watches” a lot and while I like the style and how it reads, I feel like she should be more proactive in a battle, especially being a soldier who is here to train.
Closing Remarks: This was a fun battle! I really like that you guys used all of your perks in some way, instead of just forgetting they exist. Overall you guys should be proud of yourselves for making an excellent battle thread! Good luck to both of you. c:
Dice will be rolled after 1 more staff posts their judging.
03-03-2019, 04:43 PM
Played by
Sparrow [PM] Posts: 2 — Threads: 0 Signos: 3,311
Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)
FIRST POST (intro)
I enjoyed seeing this side of Asterion, especially a hungover side. I personally would have liked to see more detail or explanation as to the immediate environment around the battlefield, but overall a nice start to the battle.
SECOND POST
Defensive: No block used. I like that he took Katniss’ draft breeding into account and planned that accordingly, playing it smart by letting the kick hit his rump as opposed to his midsection. The injury and pain received from taking the kick was done in a realistic way, I think, and not at all ‘over-the-top’.
Offensive: I really liked this attack. The fact that you took into account Katniss’ armor and her lack of vulnerability is something Asterion would look for, and exploiting one of her few vulnerabilities was a nice touch. The attack made sense and I had no issue following along, and given their close quarters, was completely realistic.
Mechanics: Minor grammatical issues; ‘managed as step or two’ opposed to ‘managed a step or two’, but nothing that took away from the post itself.
Notes: The attention to detail in this post was really well done. Continuously going back to the differences between Asterion and Katniss was a nice touch, as well as Asterion’s plans on how to exploit their differences to his advantage.
THIRD POST
Defensive: No block used. Adding Cirrus in here was a nice touch; I loved getting into her head a little bit, the shared commentary between she and Asterion a nice touch in a tense situation. At first I was a little confused if Finnick had taken Asterion’s ear clean off, given his reaction… But then I thought that since the pain he felt was very real, his panic was sound.
Offensive: I love, love, love Asterion’s use of magic here! It was fun and exciting, and I really like that you picked an elk. Maybe I’m partial, who knows? I thought that the use of it was creative, forming the rain into a liquid animal and using that to charge Katniss.
Mechanics: The phrase “yet his grin is fled” confused me a little and I struggled to understand what Asterion meant. Was ‘is’ supposed to be ‘had’? A few run on sentences that I found were somewhat convoluted, but I was able to follow the pacing of the post easily enough.
Notes: I think this was my favorite post yet. I just really loved Asterion’s emotions here, conflicting against the eagerness he had been feeling at the beginning of the spar. His sudden anger and rage here was a nice touch, especially given the circumstances.
Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)
FIRST POST
Offensive: I felt like this was a pretty traditional attack yet true to Katniss’ character, a good ‘testing the waters’ kind of move as she gets into the groove of the fight. There were a few things I would have liked to have seen in this post, such as a better use of direction (which way was Katniss trying to flank Asterion?) and taking into account the terrain. I also felt as though her sudden ‘charge’ and ‘stop’ was just that; very sudden, and in my opinion would have been far more difficult to achieve given the difficult terrain of the Steppe. I do like that it wasn’t a frontal charge, and that Katniss attempted to flank Asterion and use that to her advantage, but I couldn’t figure out if she was circling him once or multiple times.
Mechanics: There were a few times where the tone of the post shifted, changing from past to present tense. It wasn’t enough to distract from your writing, however, but there were a few grammatical errors that Sid mentioned above. Overall easy and pleasant to read, and not hard to follow.
Notes: I really liked Katniss’ level of determination in this post. While she knows that she is the underdog when sparring against Asterion, she very clearly isn’t letting that intimidate or bother her! There were small bits of flavor in here that I enjoyed; the sweat from the armor and heat, and Finnick’s condition.
SECOND POST
Defensive: No block used. Having Katniss lean into the attack was a clever idea, trying to minimize the received damage when she knew she couldn’t get out of the way in time to avoid it entirely.
Offensive: Using Finnick here was a fun idea, giving Katniss the time she needed to recover. I did feel as though the pause between the action was a little long and somewhat awkward, and too much time was spent on Finnick’s flight to Asterion, but the attack was fun and inventive. Having Finnick use dirt to try and distract Asterion was a good idea as well!
Mechanics: Minor grammatical issues, a few breaking up the flow of the post itself as I had to stop and re-read a few of them; ‘proceeded’ instead of ‘preceded’, ‘wat’ instead of ‘way’. I felt as though when Katniss stopped to address Finnick, this really slowed down the pace of the post itself, but everything else flowed smoothly.
Notes: So far, I’m really enjoying Katniss’ determination! Despite taking a pretty nasty blow from Asterion, she is still determined to win, and is showing how adaptive she is by changing her technique mid-battle. Her comment of ‘she could practically taste victory’ at the beginning of the post made me chuckle, as that’s very true to her character.
THIRD POST
Defensive: No block used. At first I didn’t know what to think about Katniss just standing there and taking the attack, knowing that Asterion’s magic would be pretty strong, but then I came to the conclusion that it fit her character very well. I like that she continued to mention her injury and keep that at the front of her mind, and didn’t try to play it off as ‘nothing’. I also really enjoyed how she struggled to hold her footing and not be knocked off her feet!
Mechanics: A few changes of past and present tense, but nothing that stole away from the overall feel of the thread. The flow of this post did feel a bit choppy, however, and I would have liked to have seen more action from her, as opposed to standing there and watching.
Notes: I know I already touched on it, but I really liked how you remained true to Katniss’ character throughout this post. In future spars I think I would like to see more animation from her, as I also feel like she spent a lot of the fight on the wayside.
CLOSING REMARKS: This was a really fun battle to read! I think one of my favorite parts about it all was the emotion and the fun, inventive ways that you both used either your Magic or your Bondeds. Thank you for giving me an engaging and thrilling fight to judge, and good luck to the both of you!
Proof of dice roll in the Contest Board on Discord on 3/4/2019.
@ASTERION wins.
All damage taken in the thread is still applicable and cannot be retconned!
Participate in a Battle or Challenge: +1 EXP to Asterion, +1 EXP to Katniss
Win a Battle: +1 additional EXP to Asterion
Total: +2 EXP to Asterion, +1 EXP to Katniss
Asterion's and Katniss’ official experience has been updated to reflect these changes, so there's no need to post in the Experience Updates thread!
